Human lifespan hasn't increased very much. Life expectancy at birth has increased significantly due to reductions in childhood disease and accidental death, but life expectancy at 50 and 60 have barely moved over the last 100 years. People have a much higher chance of making it to old age, but all the issues you cited will still hit them once they get there.
I made about $75k when my last company IPOed. I had worked there for 2 years before and had a relatively junior salary and not many options. I had a range of options at different strike prices, they averaged out to about 100% gain, but some were more and some were less.
People who had been there long had both lower option prices and more options and made quite a bit.
My experience hiring lots of engineers is that people with comp-sci or other stem degrees are on average much more successful at software engineering. Yes, there are great self-taught and code-schooled engineers, but on average they are less successful. Plus even the great ones seem to get started later with their careers instead of getting hired straight out of college like comp-sci majors.
I imagine it will also be difficult to network and build relationships in the industry without attending a 4 year school unless you are very outgoing. Who you know is often more important than what you know.
My take is that WHAT you do and WHERE you do it are much less important than WHO you do it with. Building strong family, friend, and romantic relationships is all that matters.
1. Talk to a therapist about your stress/anxiety issues. This can totally kill an interview even if you're qualified, and is probably a bigger issue than your perceived lack of skill. Xanax or other anxiety drugs can help a ton for interview days, but talk to a therapist first.
2. Keep trying. It can take a surprisingly long time to land your first job.
I love some foreign authors like Murakami, but I always wonder what I'm losing in the translation and how much is the translator impacting the writing.
I worked for a moderately successful startup that got acquired and I had both options and grants. All vested options and existing shares were paid out as cash. Unvested options and grants were then paid out as a cash bonus on the vest dates if you were still working there.
Options were valued at sale price - exercise price. I had grants at different prices, but on average the cash value was about double the original grant values. I had been working there about 3 years. Also got a two year retention bonus worth 60% of my salary at the time of acquisition. Didn't make me rich, but it was a nice chunk of change. People who had been there longer had lower grant prices and made a LOT or money.
There isn't really anything you can do besides exercise early to try to get long term cap gains, but that's more risky than it's worth IMO, because the shares could end up valueless and you're screwed.
If there is one thing I've learned, it's this. It goes past money too, the same applies for open source software libraries, language choice, and even "design patterns" that developers use.
Also applies to people. Your hireability and salary are both mostly related to how well you market yourself. Marketing is everything.
10-15 years experience coding, ~3 years experience in leadership/management. Currently in webdev, spend 50/50 time coding vs management work.
$165k base, ~$190-210 total comp depending on year. Work 35-40 hours a week.
Mostly feel that I got here by being in the right place at the right time (luck), and being able to evaluate opportunities and accept a little risk chasing promising, but uncertain companies/positions when they become available. Also learned the importance of self-marketing and how to make yourself valuable.