I’m busy wasting my time
12 comments
I was kind of like you and after honest reflection I concluded that I wasn't motivated to do things because I had no one to share experiences and the fruits of my labour with.
You say you have "No relationships. No family. No activism. No religion" - personally, for me, this created a nihilistic despondency. Are you lonely? Are you happy with this situation?
You also mention certain goals/activities that you would like to peruse and label them as beneficial. I would like to humbly suggest that you pick goals that have a practical impact on you.
I don't really know how to express this but IMO watching documentaries and reading books is, for practical purposes, entertainment unless they have some applicability to your life.
For me personally, I came to the conclusion that although I liked the theoretical idea of knowing more things, I lacked the motivation to peruse them if they lacked relevance to my life.
You say you have "No relationships. No family. No activism. No religion" - personally, for me, this created a nihilistic despondency. Are you lonely? Are you happy with this situation?
You also mention certain goals/activities that you would like to peruse and label them as beneficial. I would like to humbly suggest that you pick goals that have a practical impact on you.
I don't really know how to express this but IMO watching documentaries and reading books is, for practical purposes, entertainment unless they have some applicability to your life.
For me personally, I came to the conclusion that although I liked the theoretical idea of knowing more things, I lacked the motivation to peruse them if they lacked relevance to my life.
Try exercising, outside, without any technology, for 1 hour a day. Even if it's walking.
I waste most of my life on stupid sites as well, but I do get an hour a day of uninterrupted time to think, and I find it makes all the difference
I waste most of my life on stupid sites as well, but I do get an hour a day of uninterrupted time to think, and I find it makes all the difference
+1
Start with putting your shoes on first, you don't even need to leave the house.
Then do 15 minutes.
Then do 30...
Start with putting your shoes on first, you don't even need to leave the house.
Then do 15 minutes.
Then do 30...
Great advice. Just walking every day does wonders for my mood.
Ban Reddit and Youtube, then spend the dead time in boredom thinking of what you want to do instead.
I am in the same situation. It started about 6 months ago. I quit my 6figure job. I basically lost interest. Depression? Probably. Medication. Not helping. I think a lot of it has to do with the ability to reach success. I promised myself I would be a millionaire by around this time and it has not happened. Lots of factors. Project was not successful. Investments took a turn. I find myself browsing dumb shit on the net. Information overhaul (cocaine fix) and then back to gaming. That is a cool app you mentioned. Gonna give that a try. One thing that has boosted my activity in productivity is Marijuana (gorilla glue) it happens next day. Like a reset. But then my habits default back after few days. Crazy shit.
"Value your time. It is all you have. It’s more important than your money. It’s more important than your friends. It is more important than anything. Your time is all you have. Do not waste your time.
This doesn’t mean you can’t relax. As long as you’re doing what you want, it’s not a waste of your time. But if you’re not spending your time doing what you want, and you’re not earning, and you’re not learning — what the heck are you doing?"
- The Almanack Of Naval Ravikant
This doesn’t mean you can’t relax. As long as you’re doing what you want, it’s not a waste of your time. But if you’re not spending your time doing what you want, and you’re not earning, and you’re not learning — what the heck are you doing?"
- The Almanack Of Naval Ravikant
I think this is the "don't break the chain" concept. I attempted this, this month and am in the same conceptual spot the OP is. I have set some goals and was tracking on a calendar if I did the thing that day. The calendar is mostly blank since I stopped tracking it. Its a pen/paper calendar since digital tracking doesn't work for me and puts something in my hands that distracts me from the goals!
I feel like restricting access to sites isn't the way. I'm in a spot where we need to let our kids have more technology freedoms since in a couple years they could be off to college and there isn't going to be someone asking them to leave their phone/tablet/gaming device with them or limiting their time.
I need to reset and build some constructive habits and discipline.
I feel like restricting access to sites isn't the way. I'm in a spot where we need to let our kids have more technology freedoms since in a couple years they could be off to college and there isn't going to be someone asking them to leave their phone/tablet/gaming device with them or limiting their time.
I need to reset and build some constructive habits and discipline.
Well, there's nothing said about controlling your kids, that's a different dilemma, but on an individual level, restricting websites for just yourself is the best way to go. It could be something like putting your phone in a timed lockbox for a few hours, or not buying cookies for the house so you don't randomly eat, or using the premium website blockers that can't be uninstalled. Every bit of media is carefully designed by the brightest minds to give you a small dopamine hit so you keep coming back. The best discipline is not needing to use your discipline. I'm on you with the habits, we live lives unconsciously most of the time so habits are absolutely crucial to ensuring we don't randomly end up scrolling Facebook for 3 hours and then wondering where the day went.
this is me but written by someone else ...let me know if you overcome this
I apologise for the long ramble. I wrote it because I deeply relate with the situations described here, and I simply wanted to share my thoughts on this, because I thought a lot about this, and I am still struggling everyday. TL;DR: be patient with yourself, try to improve marginally everyday, be kind with yourself, and give yourself constructive criticism only.
I believe that this issue is present in a lot of people - only that not many admit it is an issue. I struggle with this as well, though I do not always realise it. Unfortunately, humans are creatures of comfort - we seek to do the least amount of "work" for the greatest amount of "rewards", which is the exact thing sites like reddit, facebook, twitter, etc. offer. Hence the addiction.
> "I know these things are designed to steal my attention but I’m supposed to be stronger than that." I think this is the wrong way to look at it. I do not doubt that you are strong, but thinking this way will eventually place you on a road to lowered self esteem, and much self loathing. You don't want this, it will exacerbate the bad behaviours. Try instead to be patient with yourself, try to look at yourself as a continuously improving person. This way you will see that "bad times" in your life are limited - hitting rock-bottom means the only way left to go is up.
> "Like many of us, I made promises to myself for the new year. (...) I keep lying to myself that I’ll do these things later when the moment is right." I relate to this issue, I really do. I do not really make plans for the new year, I find that having such broad and general objectives is a way to disappoint yourself, leading to lower self-esteem, and a bunch of other problems. What I did last year was that I did not set any broad objectives. I just tried to make changes. For example, I made a habit of reading or going for a walk after leaving work. I did this from time to time, though not all the time, but now looking back I can always say that last year I read more books than the year before. The general idea is that you are not competing with others, or with your own objectives and standards. In life you are competing with yourself from the past. Any improvement is good, no matter how marginal.
> "I know I can do better than this." You can. Have patience and try to improve marginally everyday. And when you cannot, don't be harsh on yourself. Just have patience, and be kind to yourself. This doesn't mean you should find excuses for bad behaviours, it means that you should not criticise yourself for not being the best version of you at this moment. If it helps, try to think of yourself as your own underperforming employee - you don't want to constantly insult and berate him all the time for not being good, you want him to improve day by day - thus, you will give him only helpful advice and criticism on what he could be doing better.
I believe that this issue is present in a lot of people - only that not many admit it is an issue. I struggle with this as well, though I do not always realise it. Unfortunately, humans are creatures of comfort - we seek to do the least amount of "work" for the greatest amount of "rewards", which is the exact thing sites like reddit, facebook, twitter, etc. offer. Hence the addiction.
> "I know these things are designed to steal my attention but I’m supposed to be stronger than that." I think this is the wrong way to look at it. I do not doubt that you are strong, but thinking this way will eventually place you on a road to lowered self esteem, and much self loathing. You don't want this, it will exacerbate the bad behaviours. Try instead to be patient with yourself, try to look at yourself as a continuously improving person. This way you will see that "bad times" in your life are limited - hitting rock-bottom means the only way left to go is up.
> "Like many of us, I made promises to myself for the new year. (...) I keep lying to myself that I’ll do these things later when the moment is right." I relate to this issue, I really do. I do not really make plans for the new year, I find that having such broad and general objectives is a way to disappoint yourself, leading to lower self-esteem, and a bunch of other problems. What I did last year was that I did not set any broad objectives. I just tried to make changes. For example, I made a habit of reading or going for a walk after leaving work. I did this from time to time, though not all the time, but now looking back I can always say that last year I read more books than the year before. The general idea is that you are not competing with others, or with your own objectives and standards. In life you are competing with yourself from the past. Any improvement is good, no matter how marginal.
> "I know I can do better than this." You can. Have patience and try to improve marginally everyday. And when you cannot, don't be harsh on yourself. Just have patience, and be kind to yourself. This doesn't mean you should find excuses for bad behaviours, it means that you should not criticise yourself for not being the best version of you at this moment. If it helps, try to think of yourself as your own underperforming employee - you don't want to constantly insult and berate him all the time for not being good, you want him to improve day by day - thus, you will give him only helpful advice and criticism on what he could be doing better.
My time tracking software is ManicTime mainly for keeping tabs on my work hours. It has advanced tagging and report features that I used often. As time accumulates, the software gathers more and more data about my habits and what I do on my computer.
This morning, I decide to run a statistics report to see what I do the most and what web pages and documents I spend the most time on. I wasn’t happy with what I saw realizing that it was all my fault.
The report was limited to this month of January that is nearly ending. I’ve spent 80% of my time in a web browser but decided to look deeper into the websites I was visiting the most often. I wasn’t shocked so to speak, but it hit me like a rock anyways about how much of my short life was spent doing insipid things.
Sixty-percent of my web browsing time was spent on Reddit but not partaking in the discussion oriented forums or the likes. I just visited the main page over and over again to keep scrolling and scrolling getting my dopamine rush in cycles. Picking the subreddits to follow put me in a social bubble only seeing what I know and experiencing the same type of content over and over again.
Next on the list was YouTube. I’m not using it to watch informative videos or documentaries, but rather non-beneficial content that only passed the time. I binged and at times watched the same content several times in a week. Wikipedia was far down from the top five.
Looking at these reports put me into a downward spiral and gave me a revelation. I was in disbelief even though I knew this all along. I mocked those who spend hours on social websites like Facebook, Twitter, Tik Tok, Instagram and so on. But I just was one of them. I know these things are designed to steal my attention but I’m supposed to be stronger than that.
Like many of us, I made promises to myself for the new year. However, 3 weeks later, I haven’t followed up on any of them. I wanted to read more books, volunteer more, focus more on my work, see family and friends and so on. I even wanted to play more video games and watch more movies. I wanted to write more and blog more. Partake in my hobbies and make things.
Instead, I’m paralyzed by the bad habits I’ve formed for myself. My boredom is the catalyst for these habits. I keep lying to myself that I’ll do these things later when the moment is right. However, I push my time forward further ahead until it hits my bedtime and knock myself out.
I’m not the type who will find ways to block my avenues to limit myself from certain activities. Instead, I try to build habits that are strong and regular and instead provide a ‘natural’ way to stay away from these distractions.
Although I think it’s important to have rest and even lazy moments, I aspire to spend my time doing fruitful things or beneficial passive activities. My potential is so much more than what I’m doing now. I’ve mocked people for being stuck to their phones and living their lives online, but I’m one of them too.
I know I can do better than this. I have strong organizational skills but I’m not taking advantage of them. I’m awake of what a productive life looks like. It’s not impossible.