Scholar identifies alarming trends among US men(cnn.com)
cnn.com
Scholar identifies alarming trends among US men
https://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2022/11/26/richard-reeves-us-men-trends-smerc-vpx-contd.cnn
31 comments
OP, as some one in the same shoes as you, I will not tell you that life will be rosy if only you waited a little longer; for I cannot predict the future.
but may I offer a way forward? How about living out of spite, to outlive all your enemies and detractors, all the idiots who get to breathe air for free?
it's not a happy thought, but it may provide for you to live longer, and who knows, life indeed might be rosy, and if not, at-least you didn't give any quarter to the dumbos, you will have fought the good fight.
but may I offer a way forward? How about living out of spite, to outlive all your enemies and detractors, all the idiots who get to breathe air for free?
it's not a happy thought, but it may provide for you to live longer, and who knows, life indeed might be rosy, and if not, at-least you didn't give any quarter to the dumbos, you will have fought the good fight.
You’ve got a place here on Earth for a reason.
Thanks!
I constantly wonder, however, if my true purpose is to be a failure. Maybe God needs someone for others to point at and say "see that guy, don't live your life that way."
I constantly wonder, however, if my true purpose is to be a failure. Maybe God needs someone for others to point at and say "see that guy, don't live your life that way."
Have felt similar. I had money and the woman and the house and blah blah, so what? Kind of discovered being a father and somewhat of a leader is my purpose, plenty of people below you that you can help if you're even a mediocre software engineer. I really stopped thinking about myself.
This video resonated with me years ago, may resonate with you now if you haven't seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLvd_ZbX1w0
This video resonated with me years ago, may resonate with you now if you haven't seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLvd_ZbX1w0
^^^THIS!^^^
Thank you for sharing this. Incredible bluntness explanation of our reality - and ourselves.
Thank you for sharing this. Incredible bluntness explanation of our reality - and ourselves.
> Maybe God needs someone for others to point at and say "see that guy, don't live your life that way."
There are plenty of them already. The shortage God has are the people who look at where they are, maybe not the best place, and look for the steps to climb out. They’re sometimes hidden but they’re always there, sometimes in plain sight.
There are plenty of them already. The shortage God has are the people who look at where they are, maybe not the best place, and look for the steps to climb out. They’re sometimes hidden but they’re always there, sometimes in plain sight.
The survival rate of life is already 0%. There’s no need to try and lower the odds. The question is more around timing. The traditional ways to leave all suck.
Does this sentiment make a person better or worse at their job? I’ve heard it’s impossible for a human mind to imagine its own death. Someone with the raw creativity or intelligence to do that might be more helpful than not?
Does this sentiment make a person better or worse at their job? I’ve heard it’s impossible for a human mind to imagine its own death. Someone with the raw creativity or intelligence to do that might be more helpful than not?
Think about something awful in the world. Something that you can see is a huge negative on humanity. Now set about destroying that thing, it might give you added purpose.
call in a request with Stefan and talk it out.. https://freedomain.com/
javajosh(1)
It has been evident for some time that boys and men are struggling. Its the same old story. In this country we like to take up one group for special consideration -- like girls -- and at the same time insinuate that the solution is to blame another group -- men and boys. Then eventually we realize how much trouble the other group is in. That is where we are now. For the most part, girls are flourishing and boys are not. Reeves decided to make a book out of this, where a long article might have been sufficient. And, like the typical "social problem" book he has many chapters about the various ways boys and men are behind or not making progress, and then ends up with a few suggestions on how to address the issue. Could we find a better way? How about thinking about social policy in a new way that focuses on programs aimed at raising up all people and avoids pitting one identity group against another?
You are correct, of course. Helping everyone succeed is not only possible but preferable. The tricky bit is people really really like to feel superior to each other. They love status. And unlike success, status can always be gained by putting another person down.
> social policy in a new way that focuses on programs aimed at raising up all people and avoids pitting one identity group against another?
We know what those social policies are. We do not enact them. Why? Because men do not want to enact them because what they provide is not seen as "manly."
There is nothing mysterious here. Woman in general decided they wanted better, and men are holding on to an oppressive mindset. We can't revert back to what it once was, because that was walking on the backs of others.
But there is a LOT of opposition to that way of thinking and that mindset, from both men and women.
We know what those social policies are. We do not enact them. Why? Because men do not want to enact them because what they provide is not seen as "manly."
There is nothing mysterious here. Woman in general decided they wanted better, and men are holding on to an oppressive mindset. We can't revert back to what it once was, because that was walking on the backs of others.
But there is a LOT of opposition to that way of thinking and that mindset, from both men and women.
TFA explicitly says that the rise of women is not responsible for the fall of men. I think the point he was trying to make was that, if gender equality was never taken up, the issues facing men today would still be issues facing men today.
He also points out the problem of the politics: Issues affecting men aren't taken seriously, as if politically it's somehow seen as attacking or detracting from women.
For example, the issue of gender balance in tech is widely discussed and taken seriously. The issue of gender balance in prisons is not.
It's not that you can't do both, it's that we haven't, and a primary reason for that is the incumbent political climate, which needs to change.
For example, the issue of gender balance in tech is widely discussed and taken seriously. The issue of gender balance in prisons is not.
It's not that you can't do both, it's that we haven't, and a primary reason for that is the incumbent political climate, which needs to change.
I don't think having equality between the genders is a cause, but there have been some bumps as we make our way along that road. A boy going through puberty and entering manhood over the last 6 years has had to do some serious soul-searching. Our media has rallied behind the idea that men are sex predators who need to acknowledge all the benefits that living in a patriarchy has bestowed upon them. That is a relevant message for a 60 year old and something they should be aware of, but may be harder to internalize for a 14 year old.
You're the only one I've heard pitting "girls" (as you say) against "boys and men".
I find it hard to believe women's rights has anything to do with the decline of men's social health
I find it hard to believe women's rights has anything to do with the decline of men's social health
"#metoo" movement?
if you so much as blush at the wrong girl she could get the wrong idea and you're almost maybe a predator. if you're an older male and you offer any kind of help to children you're a predator.
women are highly encouraged to leave their men, get abortions, etc.
more and more women are taught to see men as toxic, or manliness as toxic. there was a whole thread freaking out because an exec had a VR pillow fight with hot girls, who cares?!
if you so much as blush at the wrong girl she could get the wrong idea and you're almost maybe a predator. if you're an older male and you offer any kind of help to children you're a predator.
women are highly encouraged to leave their men, get abortions, etc.
more and more women are taught to see men as toxic, or manliness as toxic. there was a whole thread freaking out because an exec had a VR pillow fight with hot girls, who cares?!
Despite #metoo, my sister was raped by her boss, and since she took more than a day to go to the hospital, not enough evidence of violence could be found. The police and her lawyer told her she had to wait until two more girls complain to the police.
I was a youth camp counselor, just don't be a creep with youglings and you're fine. Keep the doors open though.
I made a friend leave her abusive boyfriend by hosting her for four months. I would've done the same if she had a kid, but I'm happy there is social services to help women without support in the same situation.
And I disagree. I used to be fat (32 BMI), and had no that much trouble finding new dates, but it still wasn't easy. Now I'm still too heavy for what I want to do, but more built than fat, 'manly' if you will (sharper face at least, and defined arms muscles), and it's way, way easier. I don't have to seek outside my interest groups to find partners anymore. Manliness is still highly sought imho.
I was a youth camp counselor, just don't be a creep with youglings and you're fine. Keep the doors open though.
I made a friend leave her abusive boyfriend by hosting her for four months. I would've done the same if she had a kid, but I'm happy there is social services to help women without support in the same situation.
And I disagree. I used to be fat (32 BMI), and had no that much trouble finding new dates, but it still wasn't easy. Now I'm still too heavy for what I want to do, but more built than fat, 'manly' if you will (sharper face at least, and defined arms muscles), and it's way, way easier. I don't have to seek outside my interest groups to find partners anymore. Manliness is still highly sought imho.
Sorry about your sister, but how is that relevant?
Some shocking statistics: more children are sexually abused at school than by a pastor/whatever at church. Plenty of women abuse children, if your point is men are abusers or something?
Some shocking statistics: more children are sexually abused at school than by a pastor/whatever at church. Plenty of women abuse children, if your point is men are abusers or something?
> women are highly encouraged to leave their men, get abortions, etc.
Why is this a bad thing?
People should be free to live their lives as they choose.
Why is this a bad thing?
People should be free to live their lives as they choose.
> Why is this a bad thing?
cringe.
single mothers do a much worse job than a normal family structure. we could use more good people. humans are amazing, less is worse.
> People should be free to live their lives as they choose.
who said otherwise? but, that's certainly not what's happening if you're taking money from people's pockets and giving it to their neighbor if they leave their husband. that's _getting paid_ to live your life a certain way, splitting up your family.
cringe.
single mothers do a much worse job than a normal family structure. we could use more good people. humans are amazing, less is worse.
> People should be free to live their lives as they choose.
who said otherwise? but, that's certainly not what's happening if you're taking money from people's pockets and giving it to their neighbor if they leave their husband. that's _getting paid_ to live your life a certain way, splitting up your family.
culi(1)
Google's doodle for international men's day: nothing.
50% of the world population.
50% of the world population.
Subaltern groups are celebrated by society as a (less-than-ideal) compensation mechanism for their persecution.
So: black people: cool, get holidays. White people uncool, no holidays. Ditto for women and men.
So: black people: cool, get holidays. White people uncool, no holidays. Ditto for women and men.
For some context on "alarming trends" globally,
male suicide rates have been approx double those of female suicide rates for at least thirty years (and likely centuries),
suicide rates overall have been falling for the past three decades.
See:
https://ourworldindata.org/suicide#suicide-by-gender
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/suicide
male suicide rates have been approx double those of female suicide rates for at least thirty years (and likely centuries),
suicide rates overall have been falling for the past three decades.
See:
https://ourworldindata.org/suicide#suicide-by-gender
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/suicide
the author has a substack, if you wish to read:
https://ofboysandmen.substack.com/
https://ofboysandmen.substack.com/
Good thing I created a throwaway account so that the background check investigators for my high-stakes job won't be able to link this sentiment to my real identity. After all, I am responsible for a lot of people.