The ethics of wanting someone who is taken(docs.google.com)
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The ethics of wanting someone who is taken
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8 comments
People flirt because they are flirtatious, not necessarily they think you are the one they should be with. You just are above a certain "least number of qualities to flirt" that's all I think. I mean he or she may well be treating you just like a statistic rather than an individual.
All I'm saying if sufficient "above the bar" personalities are around then that person will flirt with all of them if the desperation and the context permits because not everyone flirts with everyone at the same time openly. They have mental models where they flirt with a particular person in a particular setting and with another particular person in another setting, maybe openly or privately but setting is different
People flirt because it makes them feel better. The object of their flirtations is simply that, an object.
Interesting statement, you might be right. Do you think that is always the case? That flirting is self-centered? I know I have flirted with people specifically to make them feel better, not myself. :-)
In my case, you develop feelings for someone who is already in a relationship. You know they have a partner. They openly flirt with you, sometimes in front of friends. No lines are clearly drawn, but there is emotional tension.
This is not about drama or justifying bad behavior. I am fully aware this is public, and I am intentionally framing it as something meant to help others, not to validate myself or attack anyone involved.
I am interested in how people think about boundaries and responsibility in these gray areas.
I will publish an anonymized summary on tavro.se/blog.html of responses if there is enough interest. Thoughtful answers appreciated!
Feel free to mail [email protected] if you have any questions...