I live in NYC so perhaps I can give some perspective on why we put up with this. My commute is ~40 minutes from Brooklyn central, and relatively painfree. I work in Midtown. A lot of my friends commute 1 - 2 hours from South Brooklyn, and one co-worker is commuting from outside of Queens(!).
A lot of jobs that pay decently aren't located in the outer boroughs. We could move closer to the city but we simply don't make enough and/or don't have the skills to make enough. Rents, especially near train stops are reaching 2 - 3k easily. Also, many jobs are still on the fence about letting more staff work remotely, although tech is changing this. Thus, we put up with crowds, delays and smelly train cars.
A lot of jobs that pay decently aren't located in the outer boroughs. We could move closer to the city but we simply don't make enough and/or don't have the skills to make enough. Rents, especially near train stops are reaching 2 - 3k easily. Also, many jobs are still on the fence about letting more staff work remotely, although tech is changing this. Thus, we put up with crowds, delays and smelly train cars.
I hope this brings a bit more light into things.