Its all about HOPE, man! Its the drug that you need right now. Do whatever you need to do to plant as many seeds of hope that you can. You need to slowly work out the things in life that are killing your hope. Building positive friendships will help, too. You have time to build a good life for yourself.
Just look at all the comments and suggestions all these people have posted. If you need help, just ask for it. But you will need to work on changing things that you can and they may be hard. Life can get you down. Even in the darkness of days, there are always bright sunny days ahead of you!
Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Update: I also forgot mentioning looking at getting a two year degree from a technical school in electronics/medical electronics. There is a massive shortage of two year degrees level skill workers. That's what the real crying of "shortage of skill labor" is all about. I have two cousins making "serious bank" by servicing medical imaging equipment. They make my high tech engineering degree salary look like peanuts. Both of their employers (siemens and ge) treat them like kings (training, benefits, continuing education, job security, bonuses, promotions). Their education was cheap and they made "real" money right out of school. Do the coding on the side as a hobby or slowly have someone else like the company you work for pay for your education.
Too many people what to live the Silicon Valley lifestyle. If you can get into a top 50 school and are backed with some family wealth, you to could do it. But if you think you are going to be the next 'zuck'... you are going to be in for a rude awaking. Remember that zuck was from a well to do family, super smart, and went to an ivy league school. Most Silicon Valley companies only want people like him. The rest of us do not get to play in the big game... Life is tough. Get use to it. You will be happier.
!!!NORTH DAKOTA or the military... It be BOOM times in the oil patch. Housing is tough, but find a job that will put you up at the man camps. Search google for north dakota oil jobs and whatnot...
Summer is rolling around so make sure to be there before all the southern guys come back up after leaving for the winter. I plan on looking for a oil field job soon. After years in college, grad school, working at a corp job doing ASICs/FPGAs paying less than 70k, I hear its pretty easy to make +100k in the oil fields. Just make sure you are "mobile". I won't be slack work but you will be able to bank enough money to go to school. I hear of plenty of college age kids working the summer in the fields and end up staying in the fields( not going back to college). If I where you, plan on working a year or two, saving up a "pile of money", and then working on some degree. Remember, you will be a old man in tech by the time you get your degree and what will reduce your chances for employment. Tech is a wicked mistress!
You missed out meeting a lawyer early in your life. You didn't get to see his lifestyle. But I am guessing you did meet a software coder early in life which left a huge impression. That's all. Remember, life isn't fair... you're a digital ditch digger! (DDD)or(3D)or(D3)
Just look at all the comments and suggestions all these people have posted. If you need help, just ask for it. But you will need to work on changing things that you can and they may be hard. Life can get you down. Even in the darkness of days, there are always bright sunny days ahead of you!
Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.