I don’t think there’s a need to sugarcoat every interaction, but at the same time, we’re but living beings, who all have our share of frustrations and bad days. It takes little to speak or write something a bit softer.
People don’t just randomly become unreasonable halfway through. If they’d be unreasonable, they’d do so from the start. If it happens midway, there’s almost always some reason.
That said, I do I agree that the chain of command should always be aware of what’s going on, or have a reliable way to find out.
They do, but it’s not as common as black and white in English (American) media. There’s even an old song, pretty well-known, that has 2 lines that can be translated as “Black eyes, black hair, and yellow skin, forever more shall be the descendants of the dragon” (descendants of the dragon means of Chinese descent in the context of the song).