I have participated in same behavior but in the tech industry. I joined my managers at strip clubs for lunches, I introduced fresh grads and H1Bs to endless buffets at strip clubs. Happy hour were pretty much required work activity everyday.
But I never thought it was bad, I mean strip clubs are sleazy, but I always considered happy hours to be part of team bonding. The best teams, I have worked in, also drank heavily.
Not sure if it is age or if it is because I don't go to happy hours that much anymore but I also don't have a strong bond for my team.
But I sort of feel bad for all those reluctant H1Bs who I introduced to strip clubs. I wonder if they really enjoyed hanging out with us or if they were pretending.
Lockdown gave me opportunity to connect and reconnect with a lot more people than ever before. I am married and naturally introvert. But I felt I have never been this social before.
Of course, it started with work happy hours over Zoom, then I started organizing happy hours with my friends. Then proceeded to have happy hours with old friends around the world who I would have never thought about reconnecting. Of course, some of happy hours were just dinners, some were with wife's friends. Strangely, my wife who considers herself extrovert didn't really enjoy virtual gatherings and she been having very rough time. I wish I could help her but she just wants to meet people in person. And yes I spend a lot of time with her, watching Netflix etc. But pretty sure if I was single, I would have been able to do more Zoom/virtual gatherings.
Here are some of the way I socialize online:
1. Super large happy hours - perfect for introverts because some people will keep the conversation going and you can chillax.
2. Drink with just one or two people on Zoom - works with close friends only but you can have meaningful conversations.
3. Watch movie/show while on Zoom/phone. Works great if you and your friends like to make comments during movies.
4. Video games - online or single player. You don't have to play same game, fun to have a conversation while playing games. Use bluetooth headsets.
5. BBQ. I even done pool party last summer. Not everyone had access to pool but they could still join us.
6. Join random meetup on Zoom around the world and learn something new. Invite your friends to join you.
7. Zoom workout challenges, though not fun for me. We do push ups and squats.
And to get started, just sch. a fb event and invite a few friends. It is awkward initially but many people will thank you for organizing it, and then it gets easier.
I am doing some part-time consulting, dev work only. Would love to network with other part-time consultants. DevOps is my weak spot and would love to send that work to someone who is better at it than me. Maybe, we need a forum targeted towards part-timers.
As an introvert, I really enjoyed it. I do love bars and miss going there but not a big deal. We had tons of happy hours on Zoom. Yes Zoom is not perfect replacement for in-person socializing but it is not that bad.
On other hand, my wife really didn't like socializing on Zoom. So she didn't socialize as much. Also she really misses in-person gatherings. And my biggest issue been trying to cheer her up.
Check with your employer and see if they have EAP. Use free EAP sessions to interview enough therapists until you find one that clicks with you. I just started this journey. I was looking for an older and experienced therapist but found one who is doing Phd which might mean more evidence-based therapy. And more motivation to do good. But who knows.
This describes me, sort of. I feel more and more lack of control over my personal life. My parents have become demanding and mean as they have gotten old. My wife wants to get a bigger home while I don't think we can afford it. But I am too tired of arguing, so just giving in and going to get whatever she wants. My son loves and I love him more than anything, but when I am not working, he wants to do everything with me. Which is great but also very tiring. Simple tasks become super long.
So I was spending longer hours in the office and now longer hours doing work from home. Also I am starting different business ventures that take me out of home. Those are the only things where I feel like I have some control. I can push back against my boss a lot easier than against my parents or wife.
I have participated in same behavior but in the tech industry. I joined my managers at strip clubs for lunches, I introduced fresh grads and H1Bs to endless buffets at strip clubs. Happy hour were pretty much required work activity everyday.
But I never thought it was bad, I mean strip clubs are sleazy, but I always considered happy hours to be part of team bonding. The best teams, I have worked in, also drank heavily.
Not sure if it is age or if it is because I don't go to happy hours that much anymore but I also don't have a strong bond for my team.
But I sort of feel bad for all those reluctant H1Bs who I introduced to strip clubs. I wonder if they really enjoyed hanging out with us or if they were pretending.