What are you doing to feel uncomfortable?(joel.is)
joel.is
What are you doing to feel uncomfortable?
http://joel.is/post/6211105959/what-are-you-doing-to-feel-uncomfortable
22 comments
Haha, I could only hope to achieve even half of what Joel Spolsky has :)
I've previously written about how I created my sleep ritual (http://joel.is/post/5303723252/creating-a-sleep-ritual) and what you mention about committing to too many routines has been key for me. I'd say that is the reason I've not managed it until now and also the reason I've managed to put a decent routine in place now and I'm able to keep adjusting it and improving it.
I think the key is to adjust one thing at a time until it becomes a "ritual" we are pulled towards rather than a "routine" which we force ourselves to do. At first, I got up at 6am and went to the gym at 6:30. Over time, I've gradually got up earlier and earlier so that now I am starting to get up at 4:30am and have 1.5hrs of productive work time before I go to the gym. I've also adjusted my exercise routine at the gym whereas before just getting there was hard enough.
I don't do a whole lot in terms of diet right now, however I want to soon when the current routine becomes more comfortable.
The article you mention is written by Tony Schwartz who I've mentioned in my post, and I can't recommend his book "The Power of Full Engagement" enough. The two main things I took away from it were the importance of renewal (I now break up my day with various activities, such as the gym, meals, or reading a book for 20 minutes) and relating tasks to my core values (this is related to Simon Sinek's "Start with Why").
I've previously written about how I created my sleep ritual (http://joel.is/post/5303723252/creating-a-sleep-ritual) and what you mention about committing to too many routines has been key for me. I'd say that is the reason I've not managed it until now and also the reason I've managed to put a decent routine in place now and I'm able to keep adjusting it and improving it.
I think the key is to adjust one thing at a time until it becomes a "ritual" we are pulled towards rather than a "routine" which we force ourselves to do. At first, I got up at 6am and went to the gym at 6:30. Over time, I've gradually got up earlier and earlier so that now I am starting to get up at 4:30am and have 1.5hrs of productive work time before I go to the gym. I've also adjusted my exercise routine at the gym whereas before just getting there was hard enough.
I don't do a whole lot in terms of diet right now, however I want to soon when the current routine becomes more comfortable.
The article you mention is written by Tony Schwartz who I've mentioned in my post, and I can't recommend his book "The Power of Full Engagement" enough. The two main things I took away from it were the importance of renewal (I now break up my day with various activities, such as the gym, meals, or reading a book for 20 minutes) and relating tasks to my core values (this is related to Simon Sinek's "Start with Why").
> As for the article, any commitments on the diet front? Do you find if you commit to too many new routines (gym, eating, sleeping, working, being productive) you run out of will-power-gas before the day is out, making it harder to pickup the commitments the following day?
I've found setting a 70% success target across all active goals is a good way to keep growing without getting complacent or overwhelmed.
If I'm succeeding above 70% consistently at all my current goals, targets, and routines, I add new things or increase the difficulty.
If I'm below 70% for a couple weeks in a row, I scale back and get back to fundamentals.
This is also good for getting more comfortable with failure, since I'm constantly falling short on my new initiatives, and stay towards the edge of my growth potential. 70% I picked arbitrarily, but it's pretty good - it means I'm succeeding at over 2 out of 3 things I do, which is good for motivation/momentum, but it isn't so high that I have to set goals too cautiously to reach the mark.
I've found setting a 70% success target across all active goals is a good way to keep growing without getting complacent or overwhelmed.
If I'm succeeding above 70% consistently at all my current goals, targets, and routines, I add new things or increase the difficulty.
If I'm below 70% for a couple weeks in a row, I scale back and get back to fundamentals.
This is also good for getting more comfortable with failure, since I'm constantly falling short on my new initiatives, and stay towards the edge of my growth potential. 70% I picked arbitrarily, but it's pretty good - it means I'm succeeding at over 2 out of 3 things I do, which is good for motivation/momentum, but it isn't so high that I have to set goals too cautiously to reach the mark.
interviewing at startups despite past rejections, bidding on and winning freelance projects despite flakey clients in the past, competing in coding competitions despite the fact I'm not highly ranked, quitting a lucrative full-time job to pursue my own interests and grow as a person. Sometimes the above lead to uncomfortable feelings. However the mental and spiritual growth upsides always out-weigh the downsides.
Mixergy has an interview this week with James Altucher who coincidentally provided some of the same advice. When his company crashed after the bubble he started an exercise routine and forced himself to start getting up at 6:30 am every day as he started a new business.
He also spoke of making himself uncomfortable as he reached out daily to people he didn't know in search of customers.
He also spoke of making himself uncomfortable as he reached out daily to people he didn't know in search of customers.
Devil's Advocate:
What if I keep trying new things that make me uncomfortable but all I do is fail with no sign of improvement?
What if I keep trying new things that make me uncomfortable but all I do is fail with no sign of improvement?
Love the question. :) A few ideas:
- You're not putting in enough effort.
- You give up and move onto the next thing too quickly.
- You're stretching yourself too far beyond your current abilities.
- You're not analyzing, criticizing, and actively improving yourself well enough.
- You're lacking in useful resources, such as good books or a good mentor to
help you overcome hurdles.
- You're picking things merely because they're uncomfortable and cannot be
improved upon (e.g. sitting on a knife).Then you are trying new things that are too difficult. Uncomfortable is best in moderation.
Fiona Apple's song Extraordinary Machine, off the homonymous album, tells the same story:
"he's no good at being uncomfortable, so he can't stop staying exactly the same"
I don't think I've listened to a more instructive lyrical album than that one. But your mileage may vary.
"he's no good at being uncomfortable, so he can't stop staying exactly the same"
I don't think I've listened to a more instructive lyrical album than that one. But your mileage may vary.
The lyrical content made me uncomfortable.
s/homonymous/eponymous
Good observation, though--I thought the same when I heard that song for the first time.
Good observation, though--I thought the same when I heard that song for the first time.
Doesn't eponymous mean that it's named after the band? Homonymous in this case means the album has the same name as the song -- Extraordinary Machine.
Also, you're missing a trailing slash. :)
Also, you're missing a trailing slash. :)
I can really identify with the sentiments lined in this post as one of the things I've added to my life is trying to learn the piano, an instrument which seemed all but impossible since I'm not a very coordinated person, especially when playing with both hands.
So far, I'm two weeks into it and progress has been surprising. Sure, I have difficulty getting both hands to work together, but it's coming together rather nicely and my brain is getting a workout as it's trying to coordinate the two hands. Add to that the confidence it gives me in not only approaching a task where I can potentially fail, but transforming those failures into the grit and determination to succeed. I can definitely see this learning process paying back through the confidence it gives me.
So far, I'm two weeks into it and progress has been surprising. Sure, I have difficulty getting both hands to work together, but it's coming together rather nicely and my brain is getting a workout as it's trying to coordinate the two hands. Add to that the confidence it gives me in not only approaching a task where I can potentially fail, but transforming those failures into the grit and determination to succeed. I can definitely see this learning process paying back through the confidence it gives me.
I did my first (short) triathlon today! I was pretty nervous getting there this morning, but everyone involved was awesome, and some friends showed up to cheer me on. It turned out great, and now I'm looking for the next big challenge.
Absolutely agree with this. If you aren't scared, you're being too comfortable and not reaching for heights that are incredibly difficult but radically rewarding.
In agreement with the article. Without bringing about an internal conflict, there can be no mental or spiritual growth.
I completely agree with this statement. True intelligence is self-discipline, and it takes discipline to understand that you won't grow unless you try out new things. And oftentimes, these new things will make you feel uncomfortable.
Nice ideas, but I feel that the examples are a little too basic: speaking and exercising are what I consider to be indispensable for everyone, almost something like brushing your teeth in the morning.
I'm having a problem where I've challenged myself so much in little ways and built myself up so far, that in order to improve past this point, I see extremely huge frightening tasks in my future. Past the point of discomfort, I am looking at staggering terror ahead. (I wish I could elaborate, but unfortunately I have to keep my current situation to myself.) I guess in terms of public speaking, it would be the equivalent of addressing an audience of a million, as opposed to a hundred.
Scrappy broke startups are uncomfortable, not so much by choice, but necessity.
don't feel uncomfortable because you just want to feel uncomfortable... feel uncomfortable because you want to win the big prize... train like Rocky!
I didn't shower today or yesterday, or the day before. I really need to shower, but I'm hacking now.
Then I realized it was two separate Joel's.
As for the article, any commitments on the diet front? Do you find if you commit to too many new routines (gym, eating, sleeping, working, being productive) you run out of will-power-gas before the day is out, making it harder to pickup the commitments the following day?
This relates to the "How to get important things done" article from a few weeks ago: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2582913
and the ensuing willpower discussion I think. Would like to hear your thoughts on that.