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Dancing is stupid

stan.bar
64 points·by stasbar·há 3 anos·123 comments

You can not appreciate what you do not understand

stan.bar
2 points·by stasbar·há 3 anos·1 comments

Loneliness is a measure of self-understanding

stan.bar
140 points·by stasbar·há 3 anos·139 comments

What is this thing called Personality Type?

stan.bar
1 points·by stasbar·há 4 anos·4 comments

comments

stasbar
·há 3 anos·discuss
The definition comes from Alfred Adler, more precisely the book “The courage to be disliked”.
stasbar
·há 3 anos·discuss
Thank you for your comment. My goal was to be as succinct as possible and cover most of the cases of “casual” feeling of loneliness.

Although I still believe that self-understanding and communication are fundaments, other people are also important factor in this equation.

I wrote complementary points in this comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34497083
stasbar
·há 3 anos·discuss
Exactly!
stasbar
·há 3 anos·discuss
I agree with most of what you said; however, I believe that once you really understand yourself you also:

1. Understand others, therefore can describe them in a way suited to their way of thinking. This is probably controversial assumption but I believe people are unconstrained, everyone can understand everything, it may just require more time. If you believe people are constrained, or just don't want to spend time on them—find people who are capable of understanding you right away. By being honest about yourself you will attract like-minded people. The process of "explaining yourself" obligates you to approach new people (not only your current closest) and explain them your existence. If you feel understood only by your closest friends, then you are not good at expressing yourself.

2. become less self-concerned. You no longer seek validation and significance—you are fine with being normal. You no longer need someone who will make you less lonely, someone who will fix your flaws. You no longer focus on yourself (you know this guy good enough), rather, you pay all the attention to others, you become emphatic, which connects with others, and thus you become less lonely.

3. You can honesty communicate your needs, fears, desires, emotions. They are part of you, and hence it's your responsibility to explain them to others. Don't expect people to read your mind. Don't run away using abstractions, give concrete examples. If you believe in small lies for a greater good, then you are not communicating yourself. If you consider breaking up with your SO, talk about it with him/her, not your friends. If your boss annoys you, tell him which actions annoys you. It requires a lot of courage therefore little people do so, but not doing it results in loneliness. You have a choice.
stasbar
·há 3 anos·discuss
Is high school logic less sound, valuable, legit?

Also, I would not be surprised if Nobel price ideas were invented under the shower. Actually it's the most likely that synthesis happens during the diffused mode of thinking, which happens under the relaxation like shower.

I don't claim my idea is worth Nobel price. I just explained in succinct (possibly over-simplified) way my experience of feeling misunderstood for most of my life and the solution that finally helped me.

I shared it to validate whether it's a solution to all causes of loneliness or just mine.
stasbar
·há 3 anos·discuss
Psychometric tests or neuroscience may be the "thermometer" of both loneliness and self understanding, at least approximate one.
stasbar
·há 3 anos·discuss
Logical equations explain the principles of the universe, they made us travel to the moon, why wouldn't they be able to explain phenomena related to feelings?
stasbar
·há 3 anos·discuss
I'm curious what do you think about this relationship between loneliness and self-understanding?
stasbar
·há 4 anos·discuss
Good point. That's why a lot of people (who use online tests only) get mistyped and cross out the theory.

Many cognitive biases hinder revealing our true selves and so our true personality type. That's why finding out your true personality type is hard, and usually takes much longer than 5 min online test.

According to Jung, the personality type does not change. Your whole personality does change, but the personality type does not. Over time, you try different attitudes but always get back to your default state, you may revisit your values and beliefs, and you may loosen social inhibitions, but your default patterns of thoughts and actions stay the same.

The problem with personality types is that people understand i.e. extrovert as someone who loves parties and charges being with people, and introvert as someone who is depressed and reads a lot of books.

Personality type is much deeper. Personality type explains: - why do some people tend to focus on the future more than the present moment; - why do some people focus more on making good things happen than preventing bad things from happening; - why do some people are prone to generalisation before collecting enough facts, while others can not say anything more than the facts they gathered; - why do some people are more focused on themselves while others on influencing others?

and many more. At its core, it has nothing to do with shyness, depression, social skills, intelligence, etc. Those are just results of following your strengths or neglecting your weaknesses. Personality type can help you with spotting your strengths and weaknesses and better understanding others, so you communicate using their prefered language, not yours.
stasbar
·há 4 anos·discuss
Internet, LinkedIn, Tinder, Reddit, Discords are full of people labeling themselves using strange letters like ENTP, ISTJ, ENFP, INTJ, HDMI, USB, WTF?

In this article I explain what are personality types, how they work, and why people are so obsessed about them.