for me it feels like i need some kind of closure, the CI you suggest for me is hard, when i take a new year resolution, it feels like kind of starting on a clean slate, f*k all the mistake i made and start fresh, and i was able to do some progress year by year (but very small), i was thinking of making a resolution every year on my birth day, but it feels like a lonely activity, but in new years resolution, i feel like its a communal thing, like ,yay :) lot of people taking resolution and i'm doing one as well, if i fail then i convince my self ,saying, meh i will add it to next year, but i add list of things in my resolution, and finish some, all it comes down to me for is , clean slate , forgive myself if i miss some goals, and i start fresh because its New Year and it means you can start fresh ;-)
yep, emotionally i felt stressed and anxious during work , that i started to notice now, so i put my mobile on a corner and recorded a time-lapse, i seem visually angry or anxious as well,also on a out of work thing, when on family event i was so trying to make sure everything goes right, my friends and relatives pointed out that i seemed angry and cheer up, so my focus mode connected to angry and anxious i think
every word you typed sounds true to me, I'm also in same age group and job , social situation etc, i have not figured out everything, but on the social interaction part i can say something, that i observed and trying to do, in school and college i did this unconsciously, so when I was with my friends, i have not necessarily thought i have to engage in conversation or etc, but i would be with my friends silently and talk when some topic i like comes, but as i get older and got into job, i came to a mind set that i have to constantly engage with people verbally, which is the trap for avoiding social interaction and getting lonely, sometimes you don't have to talk when in group, you can just sit there and watch people talk or engage in some imagination , but the being physically present gives some kind of fulfillment, that i did my social interaction for the day,second thing not to do is trying to judge or correct all the time if someone is wrong about something, we can just cross over it and find something common to talk about
i'm using govt owned railwire fiber connection (this is the only fiber available in my village) and its working, to be fair lot of things that don't work on jio seems to work on railwire, like DNS route for some torrent sites, seems the private orgs had resources to implement new restrictions but railwire seems to lack it, (have vpn for security i occasionally check things without vpn)
My problem is taking things personally is what motivates me to do things, because of it I'm always stressed or anxious ,
the social points author mentioning is reasonable but for me its hard to separate things, which to take personally?, which not to take personally?, because the opposite party is commenting my o/p.
The authors mind is what i imagine a peaceful mind look like, ``` yeah i want to be like that someday?```, but its hard to avoid the triggers,
like if my manager arrange meeting with me for certain time, but always late for meeting, so i can imagine two things
1) he does not give enough important for the meeting with me (because on customer meeting he is on time)
2) he is lazy most of the time but on customer meetings he comes on time, so i have to imagine him being lazy
so by the article's point i have to choose 2nd point so i don't take it personally, but my mind knows I'm a subordinate and not as important as client, or he is comfortable with me
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above is how my mind try to reason to take it personally, :-) could someone suggest how to escape it?
passing down the microphone like in real life, only the person who holds the virtual microphone can speak others are automatically muted, if someone wants to speak , they have to ask for the microphone with a key press, the current speaker or the moderator decides to pass down the microphone, we can increase the number of mic to 2 or 3