I'm sorry to see Iran undergo hardship. I love Iranian hospitality and literature. I plan to learn the language someday. I wish you all the best.
To answer your questions,
1. Yes, definitely. Especially in one of the countries you mentioned + Canada. I'd work for a non-profit or a university if I were you. Work/life balance is great.
2. Yes, you can have a life. Just don't do JavaScript. Go for a slow-paced field. Find a mature and boring tech and learn it. COBOL sounds good.
3. Probably. But your success depends on your emigration.
4. From the work/life balance point-of-view, COBOL sounds good. But finding a job is another question. If you think you can find a job, go for it. Otherwise learn a popular but mature language/ecosystem.
5. In your situation, I'd migrate first, get a degree in CS, and work part-time as a developer in the meanwhile. In the long run, this will be rewarding financially.
6. Go for it. You don't have kids. Things would have been difficult with kids.