I can really agree on the first point but know too little about the second one. It is indeed a problem but i think in most cases keywords or tags should be enough to implement. Im not sure but even full text search should not take that long for plaintext/md notes.
I liked the idea that other users can edit it or that the markdown is rendered within the browser. CodiMD and Hedgedoc support that. They even support Co-Editing notes which is over the top for my needs. I just like the idea that i can rightclick a note in my notebook and publish it. They lack privacy and protection features though like password input or generating a new URL or proper user accounts. It would be nice if i could just send a special link and for the duration of X or until i revoke it friends can look at the rendered markdown with their browser. See https://demo.hedgedoc.org/features?both
Also Data Control is something i desire so i prefer self hosted.
probably good then that you dont use other social media. Hope its not too bad regarding HN. Its kinda nice to see im not the only one struggling with this kind of things.
i suppose its different / easier when youre older as many peers dont use it >that much<. Everythings changing and i dont have the insight into the industrie.