It depends on what your toilet supply lines are like and if you use a cold water only or a cold/hot water bidet, but a cold water only one (not nearly as uncomfortable as imagined before trying it) is very easy to install as long as your supply line has a shutoff valve and is relatively flexible.
It takes 15-20 minutes and it basically consists of unscrewing a few things and screwing them back together again.
I would second this. I read most of "No More Mr Nice Guy", and while I found it helpful in some ways it also was just not as "clean" in my opinion as "Boundaries" by Anne Katherine.
I have difficult times in relationships also, and your post sounds similar to things I've struggled with - general personality / demeanor acquiesce with uncertainty or internal disagreement, very flexible most of the time until very stubborn in certain ways, not feeling like I can recover my peace & internal clarity before another wave.
I recently read the book Boundaries by Anne Katherine (https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Where-Begin-Recognize-Heal...) and feel like it was exceptionally eye opening. I always felt like I had a normal-ish upbringing (but how do you ever really know, outside of egregious abuse?) but there was very little to no modeling of positive boundaries and individuation, and it has negatively impacted my relationships.
I've also read some of Henry Cloud's "Boundaries" book, but it was a little too Bible-oriented for me, but that may not bother you. His writing is very clear and he had many insightful gems sprinkled throughout the heavy reference to scripture.
It also may be worth talking to a therapist or counselor (and I would suggest doing it just for yourself first) before trying marriage / couples counseling. In my experience with marriage counselors (admittedly not a lot), the relationship itself is effectively the client. The one I went to wouldn't even discuss with us that our marriage may not be right for either of us whereas a personal therapist is there specifically for you.
I have tried a few times to get on the anki/supermemo bandwagon but have always struggled a bit figuring out how to structure the cards. Maybe I just have some hangups with it but would love to see a good workflow or best practices for incorporating it into my study.
I think specifically I would second guess myself for the syntax of the cards I was creating - and if there was another better way to do it. I always wanted to find almost like a guided walkthrough that would take me through the whole process or something and help me build the skills associated with it.
I always wonder if this is a personality thing... I vastly prefer email (or slack/chat rooms) over phone / in person verbal, with some exceptions for certain types of brainstorming / planning.
I like to provide my thoughts on a topic in written form up front so people have a chance to think about it, and like the same in response.
Plus having a written record of decisions and even the thinking process is so helpful.
I haven't read the book and was going to ask about accurate vs precise but found this helpful article discussing it as it relates to software here if anyone else is curious about that distinction:
http://itsadeliverything.com/accuracy-vs-precision-in-estima...
I mean that's fair enough, but do you have the same complaint about companies like NYTimes or other paywalled content? I only mentioned it because numerous people seemed to be very offended by it which seemed a bit odd to me considering you can just close it, but maybe that's just me.
I use Green Arrow engine + studio, by the folks at drh.net, and it can do that very well. You can basically get a hook that will execute your arbitrary code for each contact - database lookup on a remote service, whatever. So you can build very complex newsletters that are totally customized to each recipient. And it is fast as can be (can pretty easily push 1M+ messages per hour if you have that much volume to send)
In order to take full advantage of it you need to be a developer though.
It's got great pricing too, esp. if you get their perpetual license and then run it on your own dedicated server (they set it up.)
It's not always prototypes necessarily but mostly it's about reaching out to people you already know and letting them know you are helping people on the side with software work.
I was very lucky in that I happened to be good friends with a super-connector type person who always has people asking him for help. If you know other people who are doing consulting work, you can talk to them, if they are good they won't be particularly protective because good people always have more work than they can do.
In general, it can take time to build this up but in my experience it's valuable to see how you can help / give to others around you, and it will come back to you at some point. You have to learn to avoid the time wasting clients and people who look for you to do spec work, but after you've learned to spot them it's not so hard.
I think the simplest is doing small consulting projects. There are often people looking to launch an app or build a prototype or whatever it is where you can work a couple hours a week on it and make a pretty good rate.
In my experience if you are a pretty good developer and good at communicating, you can find small bits of work without much effort. Now I'm doing a lot of consulting so charge more, but previously I would pick low stress / low mental fatigue projects, with people I enjoy working with (often pre funding prototypes), and charge between $65-$85/hr which could be another $500-600 / month at 2 hours per week.
I also never used any of the freelancing sites, and always found work through personal connections, since it dramatically lowered the risk of getting a bad fit for me.
Cool! I was just talking about something very similar - some kind of parent + kid project kit box, for busy parents who want to work with their kids on something but don't have the knack / time to figure it all out for themselves.
Thanks - I've just started watching cs50 and he is great.
I've been doing professional software development for 10 years but his explanations finally made some very basic things click like they haven't ever before.
At this stage in your career is pick whichever one you are going to learn more from in terms of working with great people. By the way you worded it it sounds like the .net shop will have more people senior to you and therefore may be a better learning experience.
Perks and even salary at this point are far behind the benefits of working with an excellent team you can learn from, in my opinion.
I have practically no sample size but my own father shifted into more project management into his 60s and he's as in demand as ever running a team of 10-12 secs.
And I've personally hired a developer in his 60s for a startup. He was retired but just loves to keep programming and so took up some work with us. He seems to be in reasonably high demand as another company has been trying to hire him in the last month too.
It takes 15-20 minutes and it basically consists of unscrewing a few things and screwing them back together again.