Mười sáu lần thất bại khi viết điếu văn cho cha tôi (2024)(jude-doyle.ghost.io)
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Sixteen Failed Attempts to Write a Eulogy for My Father (2024)
https://jude-doyle.ghost.io/untitled-21/
7 comments
A great read even if you don't have a parent that has had severe failures.
My parents were loving and calm and, I found out later, one was very weird (I won't say more) with my older siblings but strangely never with me.
But I sometimes lose my temper with my young child (certainly not violent but I'm not proud of how I act), for reasons that feel very valid in the moment. This article is a helpful reminder to keep perspective.
My parents were loving and calm and, I found out later, one was very weird (I won't say more) with my older siblings but strangely never with me.
But I sometimes lose my temper with my young child (certainly not violent but I'm not proud of how I act), for reasons that feel very valid in the moment. This article is a helpful reminder to keep perspective.
Ok that was a bit of a more challenge than my own, posts like this make me see the bright sides of my own upbringing.
The post made me think of what I could say about my own father, who's 83 now and still kicking, but obviously we're thinking about when he goes.
It's really hard to find something positive to say of a man who clearly was autistic, but raised at a time and in a place where any type of psychoanalysis and self-improvement was considered alien, or even blasphemous.
It's even more complicated when you and your siblings see yourselves in that man.
But after all he was a man who in spite of a handicap that left him limping his entire life, he escaped communist jugoslavia by stealing his brother's bike, survived the refugee barracks and a murder attempt, started his own business, bought a house for his family, and started a legacy in a new country. He will hopefully be missed by 4 children, and 5 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren, so far, and numerous other relatives in many different countries.
The post made me think of what I could say about my own father, who's 83 now and still kicking, but obviously we're thinking about when he goes.
It's really hard to find something positive to say of a man who clearly was autistic, but raised at a time and in a place where any type of psychoanalysis and self-improvement was considered alien, or even blasphemous.
It's even more complicated when you and your siblings see yourselves in that man.
But after all he was a man who in spite of a handicap that left him limping his entire life, he escaped communist jugoslavia by stealing his brother's bike, survived the refugee barracks and a murder attempt, started his own business, bought a house for his family, and started a legacy in a new country. He will hopefully be missed by 4 children, and 5 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren, so far, and numerous other relatives in many different countries.
Your comment is already an excellent eulogy! (Albeit a bit short for a service)
I feel obligated to warn future readers that this post contains decaying corpse imagery and is therefore not suitable for breakfast.
I find it interesting that they gave the father a funeral. So there likely was a proper eulogy given. People in that position often don't get a funeral.
I find it interesting that they gave the father a funeral. So there likely was a proper eulogy given. People in that position often don't get a funeral.
The worst part isn’t the physical decay. It’s the bleak darkness of the characters.
Now that's writing.
Definitely a great read if you have a parent that has had severe failures. This essay is a great example of taking a confused and fragmented mess of childhood experiences, expectations and emotions and crystallizing them into something digestible.