I was just about to write the same thing. No matter how much I understand my parents, or how much I progressed through years of therapy, I hate myself when I'm doing the same things I hate in them. My therapist says the progress I made so far is tremendous and I can't expect myself to progress much faster and I should be proud of myself. However no matter all the progress if I keep causing suffering on people I love. It's really hard to forgive myself sometimes and I keep wanting to run away.