I agree with you. What the co worker did to you was wrong. But I would also venture to say that there could be a reason specific to you as to why you were targeted in this way.
The stakes are higher at dinner because your face to face. So dinner conversations are actually LESS toxic. People on HN are hidden behind anonymity. The only defense is moderation.
I would say unless you have an opinion about something that is very different from the status quo you will rarely encounter toxicity. If you do have opinions that are very different from the norm, the toxicity is rampant.
See this here^^ this is a toxic post. Telling someone to grow up because they have a contrary opinion.
This is the perfect illustration about how some people are blind to the toxicity on HN, because I'm almost completely sure that the person who posted the above the comment was completely oblivious to the fact that he himself was going to contribute to the toxicity.
You're completely right. It's toxic everywhere. BUT just because it's toxic everywhere doesn't make it so you get to call HN the "pinnacle of non-toxicity."
It's like saying the least toxic venom on the planet is the pinnacle of non-toxicity... I mean it's still venom.
It's also worth talking about the toxicity on HN because it follows very specific patterns. It's also essentially a dictatorship. Whatever Dang says goes.
The toxicity is there it's just subtle and disguised. Here's a typical one you see on HN that is used directly to escape moderation:
"I find it odd that even when someone tells you the logical outcome you still deny it."
"It's baffles me and is so interesting to see someone behave this way even though it's not logical."
It's this intellectual arrogance where the commenter acts like he's some sort of hyper intelligent savant observing creatures of lower intelligence that is completely toxic. Whenever I see that type of garbage comment, I think dude... the other person just disagrees with you stop talking about him like he's some animal your observing in a laboratory.
Well, this uptick I've seen only in the last couple months so I'm wondering is there a culture change or impetus for culture change that occurred within the last month or couple months or so?
I think it's unlikely and that you're probably most likely right, but I want to fish out some comments from people in amazon who know what's going on.
Ok. amazon has a high attrition rate because of it's culture. Making the pay higher won't necessarily fix that.
Does ANYONE in amazon see culture changes occurring at all? I'm willing to respond to the 5 recruiters contacting me BUT only if there is a huge drive to change culture as well.
Keep in mind valve is a business first. There interest is profitability. Its just that the direction of their interest happens to align with Linux. This is good, but if at some point in time it doesn't align, don't be surprised.