People with ADHD, how do you build lasting habits?
While I've always been able to succeed at the things that interest me or naturally motivate me, I've begun to realize that starting new habits –while difficult for nearly everyone– is extremely difficult for me. ADHD seems to make it much harder to obtain the behavioral building blocks of new habits (repetitive behaviors, scheduling, rigor). I know that discipline means doing things I don't feel like doing, and I genuinely want to be disciplined, but it feels like I am climbing with Teflon gloves. Medication does help me stay focused on momentary tasks that I already have some motivation to accomplish (on the scale of hours) but does little to help me build that motivation. (Also, I can't be medicated daily in my career.) What could help?
7 comments
I think the problem is that you associate discipline with punishment when in actuality you are rewarding your future self. You need to start thinking of the person you will be in one day, and in one week, but nothing further ahead. For people with ADHD, they grow bored when results are not achieved at the desired time. Instead, you must eliminate the expectation of finishing and learn to enjoy the process of improving yourself.
"For people with ADHD, they grow bored when results are not achieved at the desired time"
This is really well articulated. At least in my case, this hit the nail on the head. The difference between me being bought in vs not is almost out of my hands. If results aren't happening at the rate at which is expect, I feel like I can enter an "autopilot" mode. Where I get things done, but I become overly complacent.
On the opposite end, when growth/results are exceeding my expectations, I feel an overwhelming urgency to push even hard, and more frequently.
In both instances I can feel like I get burnt out. Burnt from boredom or burnt from overworking. On some level, I think this contributes to a bit of anxiety (especially as it relates to work), but it's something I feel like I've learned to manage better over the past couple years.
This is really well articulated. At least in my case, this hit the nail on the head. The difference between me being bought in vs not is almost out of my hands. If results aren't happening at the rate at which is expect, I feel like I can enter an "autopilot" mode. Where I get things done, but I become overly complacent.
On the opposite end, when growth/results are exceeding my expectations, I feel an overwhelming urgency to push even hard, and more frequently.
In both instances I can feel like I get burnt out. Burnt from boredom or burnt from overworking. On some level, I think this contributes to a bit of anxiety (especially as it relates to work), but it's something I feel like I've learned to manage better over the past couple years.
I also have ADHD so I resonate a lot with what you're saying. One thing I have found that always tends to bring me back to homeostasis is exercise. The stress of work caught up to me and took its toll mentally and physically. The best thing I did was hire a personal trainer for 6 months or until it became a routine part of my life and I knew I wouldn't quit. Excercise does incredible things for the minds wellbeing
This seems to help quite a few people a lot: http://www.habitbull.com/
It gives you a bit of a dopamine hit every time you check the box and really helps build good habits over time. The system is remarkably flexible for different kinds of habits.
(I am not the developer, just a happy customer)
One last thing, the best thing that seems to make a difference is to schedule your day hourly and maintain a rigid sleep/wake/exercise/eating schedule. Don't skip any of these and things will get better.
Mindfulness also seems to help but only if you practice it regularly, for ADHD folks that may mean scheduling a class and going to it every week to have the enforced practice.
Lastly, there is no quick fix, you are already motivated to get better since you asked the question; you now have to be motivated to be consistent and not let small failures make you give up.
It gives you a bit of a dopamine hit every time you check the box and really helps build good habits over time. The system is remarkably flexible for different kinds of habits.
(I am not the developer, just a happy customer)
One last thing, the best thing that seems to make a difference is to schedule your day hourly and maintain a rigid sleep/wake/exercise/eating schedule. Don't skip any of these and things will get better.
Mindfulness also seems to help but only if you practice it regularly, for ADHD folks that may mean scheduling a class and going to it every week to have the enforced practice.
Lastly, there is no quick fix, you are already motivated to get better since you asked the question; you now have to be motivated to be consistent and not let small failures make you give up.
Writing things down helps me (but I'm also very mathsy.) Everything I've track everyday before I go to bed I generally get a bit better at - so far being diet, exercise and savings in these monolithic spreadsheets. Interesting enough as soon as I got an IoT fitbit scale which automatically uploads your weight to fitbit.com I stopped losing weight, I think recording the habit is very important - for me anyway.
ADHD = Breadth First Search
ADHD + meds = Depth First Search
One is not inherently better or worse than the other.
I also do not think that it is healthy nor meaningful to ask questions like how do people with ADHD deal with XYZ, where XYZ is something that has little to do with maintaining concentration on a particular task.
People with ADHD build lasting habits in much the same way as everyone else.
ADHD + meds = Depth First Search
One is not inherently better or worse than the other.
I also do not think that it is healthy nor meaningful to ask questions like how do people with ADHD deal with XYZ, where XYZ is something that has little to do with maintaining concentration on a particular task.
People with ADHD build lasting habits in much the same way as everyone else.