Come I can never be that good at anything
This is directed at myself but it can apply to anyone. It seems no matter what I do i can never be that good at anything. When I try to copy successful people or strategies or methods, the special sauce is always missing and I come up way short despite getting most of it correct. It is like being so close yet so far. it's like what is the point of trying if you are just going to fail . For people who are successful all the time, it is like everything always just clicks. People who are successful almost never fail it seems, and when they do, it is temporary. Elon Musk has never failed. Bill gates never failed. The list goes on. It's like watching Tom Brady in action or something. They never stumble. Even though I have done well in some things, I can never get to the point where things just click. I never get beyond just being decent at stuff. Do you think it comes down to luck, genes, connections, hard work, etc. I know it is not hard work. Everyone works hard. Some say you need 10,000 hours but not all hours are crated equal. It is evident some are getting way more mileage for their hours than others.
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Wasn't Elon Musk very close to failing with Tesla and Space X around 2008? He claimed he suffered a nervous breakdown because of it. If he'd failed back then, we probably wouldn't be talking about it today.
Also, Bill Gates had a lot of help from his mom when he needed it most (getting an in with IBM). He had the right leverage.
I've seen people in my life that had access to the right leverage (meaning: the leverage they could use suited their personalities). In all cases they were successful. I believe strongly that when you have leverage that other people do not have access to, and knowledge on how to safely use that leverage then you'll be financially successful.
For example, I feel that a disproportiante amount of children with rich parents benefit from housing prices rising [1]. Even if rich children first start completely in debt, simply by owning a house that on average returns 10% (since it will be in a nice area) that they can later rent out is already a ticket to retirement before one starts working.
Before asking how people can become successful, simply ask yourself if they had a strong form of leverage that they were able to use effectively? If so, then you might want to reconsider that you could have done it as well.
[1] https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:q8zP-N... -- weak source I know, but I bet that it's true.
Also, Bill Gates had a lot of help from his mom when he needed it most (getting an in with IBM). He had the right leverage.
I've seen people in my life that had access to the right leverage (meaning: the leverage they could use suited their personalities). In all cases they were successful. I believe strongly that when you have leverage that other people do not have access to, and knowledge on how to safely use that leverage then you'll be financially successful.
For example, I feel that a disproportiante amount of children with rich parents benefit from housing prices rising [1]. Even if rich children first start completely in debt, simply by owning a house that on average returns 10% (since it will be in a nice area) that they can later rent out is already a ticket to retirement before one starts working.
Before asking how people can become successful, simply ask yourself if they had a strong form of leverage that they were able to use effectively? If so, then you might want to reconsider that you could have done it as well.
[1] https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:q8zP-N... -- weak source I know, but I bet that it's true.
Have you ever listened to How I Built This with Guy Raz on NPR? He interviews successful entrepreneurs about their life. A question he always asks is how much of their success do they attribute to luck versus hard work. The majority (if not all) of them admit that luck is a major component.
Almost all of them have risked everything at some point, barely scraped by, had a chance encounter with a stranger or friend of a friend. What you're seeing in these people isn't success. It is a lot of random circumstances culminating in the appearance of success. That is not to say Phil Knight and Elon and Bill didn't work hard or didn't have vision, but to look at them now and just see "success" and not "success + luck + failures + decades of trying + genes + a million other variables" is where you're falling short.
If you can change your perception you can realize that you could attempt what they attempted, and you'll likely fail the same way they did, and maybe you'll never succeed. But the important part is that success is entirely up to you, because you're the one defining it for yourself. If that is "I want to be a tech entrepreneur making a billion dollars", then you better start studying every single tech entrepreneur in existence, and start studying business and technology and startups and consuming every shred of information you can find about it.
Then you start trying to get there, one step at a time. And you have to be okay with the possibility that you'll maybe never get there. But spending your life trying to achieve something you want to achieve is as good a life as any.
Almost all of them have risked everything at some point, barely scraped by, had a chance encounter with a stranger or friend of a friend. What you're seeing in these people isn't success. It is a lot of random circumstances culminating in the appearance of success. That is not to say Phil Knight and Elon and Bill didn't work hard or didn't have vision, but to look at them now and just see "success" and not "success + luck + failures + decades of trying + genes + a million other variables" is where you're falling short.
If you can change your perception you can realize that you could attempt what they attempted, and you'll likely fail the same way they did, and maybe you'll never succeed. But the important part is that success is entirely up to you, because you're the one defining it for yourself. If that is "I want to be a tech entrepreneur making a billion dollars", then you better start studying every single tech entrepreneur in existence, and start studying business and technology and startups and consuming every shred of information you can find about it.
Then you start trying to get there, one step at a time. And you have to be okay with the possibility that you'll maybe never get there. But spending your life trying to achieve something you want to achieve is as good a life as any.
To say that none of the people listed never failed isn't true. All of those people failed at some point to varying degrees. The difference is in how they responded to that failure. Failure isn't bad; it's a learning opportunity. You try something, it doesn't work out, what happened and how can you do better next time?
Successful people aren't successful because everything they do works out 100% of the time. Some of it comes down to skill, yes, but a lot of it comes down to luck and handling adversity. You mention hard work; most of the hard work comes from dealing with setbacks.
I should also point out that the 3 people you mentioned come from a TREMENDOUS amount of privilege, so they were free to take risks knowing they had a safety net to fall back on. Most people don't have those safety nets and therefore not able to take such large risks.
I can tell from this post that you're probably at a creative nadir and need some encouragement. All I can say is keep trying, but stop trying to put yourself on the same pedestal as Elon, Gates, or Brady. One of the worst things you can do is measure yourself against another's success.
My bit of advice: set incremental, achievable goals. Define what success means to you, then break that down into smaller goals that you can accomplish along the way. The end goal might be to be a successful billionaire entrepreneur. But the first goal might be to learn a new skill. You want to make a website or an app? Learn React or Vue.js. Learn about web hosting. Make some starter projects and throw them out on Github. Then work from there, find out the next step, and build upon what you learned.
I hope this helps, and good luck!
Successful people aren't successful because everything they do works out 100% of the time. Some of it comes down to skill, yes, but a lot of it comes down to luck and handling adversity. You mention hard work; most of the hard work comes from dealing with setbacks.
I should also point out that the 3 people you mentioned come from a TREMENDOUS amount of privilege, so they were free to take risks knowing they had a safety net to fall back on. Most people don't have those safety nets and therefore not able to take such large risks.
I can tell from this post that you're probably at a creative nadir and need some encouragement. All I can say is keep trying, but stop trying to put yourself on the same pedestal as Elon, Gates, or Brady. One of the worst things you can do is measure yourself against another's success.
My bit of advice: set incremental, achievable goals. Define what success means to you, then break that down into smaller goals that you can accomplish along the way. The end goal might be to be a successful billionaire entrepreneur. But the first goal might be to learn a new skill. You want to make a website or an app? Learn React or Vue.js. Learn about web hosting. Make some starter projects and throw them out on Github. Then work from there, find out the next step, and build upon what you learned.
I hope this helps, and good luck!
I think there are many great observations made in this discussion. Yours stood out because it specifically addresses responding to failure. In my experience, systematically confronting personal failings leads to explosive personal growth whereas copying someone else only gets you the surface stuff. Take thus with a grain of salt because I am not the <insert-successful-person> of anything.
OP, I wish you the best.
OP, I wish you the best.
> Elon Musk has never failed. Bill gates never failed.
There's a huge component of luck and everything. For every Bill and Elon, there's 10,000 guys as talented as them that didn't have their luck, and you don't hear about them. Elon and Bill are just guys who have won a dozen coinflips in a row - if millions of people are trying, it WILL happen to someone eventually.
There's a huge component of luck and everything. For every Bill and Elon, there's 10,000 guys as talented as them that didn't have their luck, and you don't hear about them. Elon and Bill are just guys who have won a dozen coinflips in a row - if millions of people are trying, it WILL happen to someone eventually.
"Never failed" is untrue too. Bill Gates almost gave up and went back to class. You don't hear about the failed coin flips, or the ones that broke even.
Someone like Steve Jobs failed lots of times, but those are rarely portrayed as failures. The documentary portrays him as a perfectionist who gets things over budget and succeeds because of this ambition, but it doesn't link this to his minimalist attitude later in Apple.
Someone like Steve Jobs failed lots of times, but those are rarely portrayed as failures. The documentary portrays him as a perfectionist who gets things over budget and succeeds because of this ambition, but it doesn't link this to his minimalist attitude later in Apple.
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Some people are successful because they are successful in the same way some are famous for being famous. Musk being the prime example of the first and the Kardashians the second. That is not a knock on Musk and he has been able to parley his successes very effectively. In some ways I feel like he is our generation's Thomas Edison.
What you observe in Musk and Gates is called the halo effect. Both men have had failures, we just tend to be blind to them. Gates was never able to enter the phone market for example and Musk almost failed with Tesla on several occasions and has basically failed with consumer solar.
Remember, the point of trying is partially failing and learning from those failures. That is what ultimately will make you a success. If you don't risk failure and only attempt things you know you will succeed in then you will never be more than mediocre.
What you observe in Musk and Gates is called the halo effect. Both men have had failures, we just tend to be blind to them. Gates was never able to enter the phone market for example and Musk almost failed with Tesla on several occasions and has basically failed with consumer solar.
Remember, the point of trying is partially failing and learning from those failures. That is what ultimately will make you a success. If you don't risk failure and only attempt things you know you will succeed in then you will never be more than mediocre.
I feel you, and I suspect that's a typical experience for someone with smarts, ambitions, and dreams but who never made it for one reason or other.
This is a feeling I know very well. This sinking feeling you get when nothing clicks into place and you struggle just to exist. Your peers' efforts often seem like glamorous rocketships taking off to great fanfare as they pass you by with ease. The self-inflicted pep talk about overcoming adversity and just sticking with it until you make it, when it's already plain to see for your friends and acquaintances that you're going nowhere. The truth is, this is normal. It may be your fault, it may be bad luck, you'll likely never know. The answer "try again, harder, try something different" seems trite and besides the point, but it's still the correct answer in my opinion. Life is an exploratory process for most people.
I think the question "why did I never..?" is the result of expectations that do not match normal human lives. Especially when comparing yourself to the likes of Elon Musk and Bill Gates, you need to realize that these are literally one-in-a-billion lives. While they may be especially gifted individuals, please do not discount the immensity of their luck and fortune.
Literally every single thing in their existence conspired to get them where they are today. When you read accounts or biographies of people like these, I invite you to pay special attention to casual references about what other celebrities they were connected to from an early age. All those weird "oh yeah, Neil Young usually dropped by our house every weekend for a jam session" moments.
However, I allege this is completely unconnected to being good at something. Being good at something is a product of effort and ability. Especially in technical and knowledge areas, there are very few gate keepers preventing you from getting good. There will probably be gatekeepers preventing you from practicing that skill, but then again, getting good is only ever the beginning of a journey.
This is a feeling I know very well. This sinking feeling you get when nothing clicks into place and you struggle just to exist. Your peers' efforts often seem like glamorous rocketships taking off to great fanfare as they pass you by with ease. The self-inflicted pep talk about overcoming adversity and just sticking with it until you make it, when it's already plain to see for your friends and acquaintances that you're going nowhere. The truth is, this is normal. It may be your fault, it may be bad luck, you'll likely never know. The answer "try again, harder, try something different" seems trite and besides the point, but it's still the correct answer in my opinion. Life is an exploratory process for most people.
I think the question "why did I never..?" is the result of expectations that do not match normal human lives. Especially when comparing yourself to the likes of Elon Musk and Bill Gates, you need to realize that these are literally one-in-a-billion lives. While they may be especially gifted individuals, please do not discount the immensity of their luck and fortune.
Literally every single thing in their existence conspired to get them where they are today. When you read accounts or biographies of people like these, I invite you to pay special attention to casual references about what other celebrities they were connected to from an early age. All those weird "oh yeah, Neil Young usually dropped by our house every weekend for a jam session" moments.
However, I allege this is completely unconnected to being good at something. Being good at something is a product of effort and ability. Especially in technical and knowledge areas, there are very few gate keepers preventing you from getting good. There will probably be gatekeepers preventing you from practicing that skill, but then again, getting good is only ever the beginning of a journey.
I would encourage you to find a different philosphy for life. My undertandings are built upon my religous beliefs. I won't share my religous views as I am not trying to convert you :-) What I will say is that my view of wealth is well thought through and based on ancient teachings which have stood the test of time. I found myself very conflicted about wealth and success when I relied on my own thoughts and the internet. Maybe do some reading on finding happines and less on other people's success stories. These people are often 1 in a million. Can I finish by encouraging you that you are obviously someone who has the drive to better themself.
To say that Elon Musk and Bill Gates never fail is likely not the case, more probable is that for each of their successes they have far more failures they have learned from. (No solid data on this but a simple google reveals result after result for "<insert-successfull-persons> failures").
In Bill Gates case there's also every failure of Microsoft, not all microsoft products still exist, and for good reason.
Just because we know them by their successes, does not mean they don't have failures.
That point out of the way, how do you define success? Money, fame, pride?
In Bill Gates case there's also every failure of Microsoft, not all microsoft products still exist, and for good reason.
Just because we know them by their successes, does not mean they don't have failures.
That point out of the way, how do you define success? Money, fame, pride?
Bill Gates recently said we need a hundred Elon Musks to combat climate change (which infers that we may need even hundreds more Elons to combat all the other problems in the world.)
One way to interpret what Bill is trying to say, is that we don't have enough ambitious people in the world like Elon Musk.
If Bill knew "a hundred Elon Musks," he might have not made that statement.
Another way to interpret what Bill is trying to say - and I think this is the more interesting interpretation - is that he is inviting you to become one of the next hundred Elon Musks.
One way to interpret what Bill is trying to say, is that we don't have enough ambitious people in the world like Elon Musk.
If Bill knew "a hundred Elon Musks," he might have not made that statement.
Another way to interpret what Bill is trying to say - and I think this is the more interesting interpretation - is that he is inviting you to become one of the next hundred Elon Musks.
Are you comparing yourself to others? That’s the trap I am in, but I’ve tried to turn it into a positive as it drives ambition. Maybe you are an aspiring person and you want to be like Bill or Elon. Most of us will never be. No matter what your salary or position, someone will always be “more successful.”
Use it to drive you and no discourage you.
Now if you are discussing problems with relationships, that’s a whole other website.
Good luck to you!
Use it to drive you and no discourage you.
Now if you are discussing problems with relationships, that’s a whole other website.
Good luck to you!
You can either be lucky by birth or circumstances, or you can learn more and more about your own being, how you came to be where you are, and what things truly are of interest to you. That’s the special sauce that I think a lot of people downplay and what gives the wealthy (in both time and money) advantages often, in my experience.
This is so misplaced!
> When I try to copy successful people...
That is your first mistake! Don't copy. You are not them. You are "you". You are different from them. Adapt, don't copy. You should observe successful people and adapt some of their thinking to your situation. Just copying verbatim is not going to help.
> For people who are successful all the time, it is like everything always just clicks.
Because you don't see their failures. They rarely have time to talk about their failures. The motto most successful people follow is "Learn from your and other's mistakes quitely, but brag about your successes".
> People who are successful almost never fail it seems, and when they do, it is temporary.
Because "successful people" don't cry in public. They cry silently alone when no one is watching; gather themselves and start over again. You have not seen how painful it is to be successful and to maintain that success. I have seen people like these in my life.
> Elon Musk has never failed. Bill gates never failed.
Who said that?!? Have you heard of X.com? Microsoft was not an instant success. Microsoft was a software consultancy company for almost a decade before it became "Microsoft". Watch Steve Ballmer's Oxford Union speech and listen carefully when he reveals at what stage he joined Microsoft. That is never mentioned in the story you hear about Microsoft.
> They never stumble.
I don't know where you get this information from. Can you link to the source? The PR hype machine of these big companies, their job is to make the founders look good, always successful people and not failures. So don't go by the stories you read in the media about these super hero founders. It never works that way.
> Do you think it comes down to luck, genes, connections, hard work, etc. I know it is not hard work. Everyone works hard.
You missed a very important item from that list: smart work! Just hard work is not enough. It is hard+smart work, plus getting out and forming connections(they don't happen automagically, you need to cultivate it over many years!) and then comes the luck part. Genes has nothing to do with anything related to success.
> Some say you need 10,000 hours but not all hours are crated equal. It is evident some are getting way more mileage for their hours than others.
Those specific figures that come out of US writers/consultants/advisers/coaches is for click-baity reasons. Don't believe them. It all depends on context and circumstances when it comes to learning. 10,000 hours looks like is just plucked out of thin air to sell more copies of some self-help book.
> When I try to copy successful people...
That is your first mistake! Don't copy. You are not them. You are "you". You are different from them. Adapt, don't copy. You should observe successful people and adapt some of their thinking to your situation. Just copying verbatim is not going to help.
> For people who are successful all the time, it is like everything always just clicks.
Because you don't see their failures. They rarely have time to talk about their failures. The motto most successful people follow is "Learn from your and other's mistakes quitely, but brag about your successes".
> People who are successful almost never fail it seems, and when they do, it is temporary.
Because "successful people" don't cry in public. They cry silently alone when no one is watching; gather themselves and start over again. You have not seen how painful it is to be successful and to maintain that success. I have seen people like these in my life.
> Elon Musk has never failed. Bill gates never failed.
Who said that?!? Have you heard of X.com? Microsoft was not an instant success. Microsoft was a software consultancy company for almost a decade before it became "Microsoft". Watch Steve Ballmer's Oxford Union speech and listen carefully when he reveals at what stage he joined Microsoft. That is never mentioned in the story you hear about Microsoft.
> They never stumble.
I don't know where you get this information from. Can you link to the source? The PR hype machine of these big companies, their job is to make the founders look good, always successful people and not failures. So don't go by the stories you read in the media about these super hero founders. It never works that way.
> Do you think it comes down to luck, genes, connections, hard work, etc. I know it is not hard work. Everyone works hard.
You missed a very important item from that list: smart work! Just hard work is not enough. It is hard+smart work, plus getting out and forming connections(they don't happen automagically, you need to cultivate it over many years!) and then comes the luck part. Genes has nothing to do with anything related to success.
> Some say you need 10,000 hours but not all hours are crated equal. It is evident some are getting way more mileage for their hours than others.
Those specific figures that come out of US writers/consultants/advisers/coaches is for click-baity reasons. Don't believe them. It all depends on context and circumstances when it comes to learning. 10,000 hours looks like is just plucked out of thin air to sell more copies of some self-help book.
I blame capitalism.
It become harder to make money as time goes on
It become harder to make money as time goes on