My life after quitting social media(durmonski.com)
durmonski.com
My life after quitting social media
https://durmonski.com/life-advice/life-after-quitting-social-media/
171 comments
One way to be aware of current events is to create a recurring calendar invite for yourself (e.g. Sunday mornings) with a link to the Wikipedia current events page (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portal:Current_events). Tab-open 20+ Wiki pages of interest, and immerse for an timebox (1-2hr). The outcome is having a greater mental
map of the news, without all the deliberate emotional provocation of mass media headlines. “Aged news”
I've found myself browsing the current events page every morning and I think I would prefer your method much more. As emerging stories are verified and context is added, I've found I'm revisiting the same pages over and over.
I'm going to set up a calendar event right now. Thanks!
I'm going to set up a calendar event right now. Thanks!
When there is breaking news, and there are not sufficient details yet, one option is to get the Wiki URL of the news event, and add that URL to your calendar’s recurring “Read the news” event’s description field. As a result, in several weeks you will have a backlog of news articles to read, and you will be confident that you’re tracking the article and that it will have more value over time. As you mentioned, if there are evergreen topics you want to keep track of, you could include those links in the calendar invite - easy to tab-open & catch up.
low effort post: I've been thinking about a (real time) 3D point-cloud (news articles) NLP-summation visualization of the news, seeing it skew towards certain directions like war or something as the "absolute worst case".
My data source would be for example Reddit's API for worldnews/news top rated.
My data source would be for example Reddit's API for worldnews/news top rated.
That would be very interesting.
Some other data researcher has dipped into this a bit:
SpiegelMining – Reverse Engineering von Spiegel-Online (33c3): * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YpwsdRKt8Q * English version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYviBstTUwo
Some other data researcher has dipped into this a bit:
SpiegelMining – Reverse Engineering von Spiegel-Online (33c3): * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YpwsdRKt8Q * English version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYviBstTUwo
Working my way through this, wish they lowered speaker's voice on the English version so it's easier to focus on the English one for me/don't know German.
But it's better than nothing, certainly better than the auto-translated captions ha.
But it's better than nothing, certainly better than the auto-translated captions ha.
Yeah this thing here https://youtu.be/bYviBstTUwo?t=1411 I gotta get to a point where I can make that, the weights/math part.
This sounds interesting. Seeing a map, the dots of interest - you could even have “related wikipedia pages which reference this data point, and which have a sudden influx of view/edit activity”.
As a result, a user could explore a map, and could see the most relevant wiki pages (or even extracted insights) on the sidebar. Date range slider could explore the past (eg previous wars in Afghanistan, and which articles are most relevant), and zoom to the future (many Wiki pages reference dates & plans - it would be interesting to zoom to 10 years from now, and see planned initiatives, construction projects, trade agreements, and so on)
A true spatial news explorer.
As a result, a user could explore a map, and could see the most relevant wiki pages (or even extracted insights) on the sidebar. Date range slider could explore the past (eg previous wars in Afghanistan, and which articles are most relevant), and zoom to the future (many Wiki pages reference dates & plans - it would be interesting to zoom to 10 years from now, and see planned initiatives, construction projects, trade agreements, and so on)
A true spatial news explorer.
You might be interested in http://news-explorer.mybluemix.net/?query=Current%20Events&t...
Oh that's cool. Thanks for that link
I also does this.
The main problem IMO is info duplication: sames infos are duplicated on different websites/sources & sometimes inside sources (eg Twitter) and some is missing on individual one. I’m thinking of an aggregator that would group info (preferably free of rights) per individual news and summarise it.
I am a big fan of weekly digests. Early news reports so often get it wrong, and good summaries can't thrive on hype.
I read Wikipedia's current events via RSS:
=> https://www.to-rss.xyz/wikipedia/current_events/
It has a much higher signal-to-noise ratio for “serious” news than most “serious” news outlets seem to.
=> https://www.to-rss.xyz/wikipedia/current_events/
It has a much higher signal-to-noise ratio for “serious” news than most “serious” news outlets seem to.
I ran into this out of touch out of place person at a party recently, good conversation, he asked if I had a business card (no), then he tried to be trendy and asked if I had a Facebook (don't have that either)
He didn't know how to find himself on LinkedIn
We aren't in touch
He didn't know how to find himself on LinkedIn
We aren't in touch
>I just ask them what their opinion is, which is usually what they want to happen anyway.
I might steal that. I usually just say I don't know and let them explain what is going on, but yours is much smarter.
I might steal that. I usually just say I don't know and let them explain what is going on, but yours is much smarter.
Before coming down with anxiety (it's health anxiety and not really social anxiety or anything like that), i wasn't always teh most aware of my emotions. But since, I'm pretty sensitive and aware and always kinda checking-in with myself.
And one thing I've noticed is that after years and years of online interaction, much of it on Reddit, Twitter, a little Tumblr, and a tiny tiny tiny bit on Instagram - is that the more i interact on these things, the more anxious and just generally stressed that I am.
I feel increasingly alone in the world - i feel that when i lean left, when i lean right, within fandoms of this or that, within FOSS communities, or just in general.
But then I talk to the people in my actual life - wife, parents, neighbors, and sure - we're all different in a variety of ways, but the in person evokes more of a connection even if the people around me aren't all rubberstamping my views and tastes.
I'm very addicted to the dopamine rush of the upvote. It feels like i'm a petty or a small person to admit that, but I am. Quitting social media has been harder than giving up tobacco (smoked for 15 years), or energy drinks (drank for almost 20 years). I've given up most recreational drinking - no problem.
But the rapid fire nature of social media.. that hole that it fills when you in these moments where you're bored but don't really have time to ramp up into anything important.... for instance - i have a hard time just stopping/starting books or long form articles. If i watch a video - i want to watch it all the way through. If i want to listen to a record - all the way through. If i get into a project, i want to make some kind of headway. Social media fills up the 10 min here, 15 min there and by the time you're sucked back in you're devoting time to it that you COULD devote to something worthwhile.
The thing that sucks is i feel disconnected from what's going on - with entertainment, with politics, with everything. I always go back and say "this time i'll be more balanced" but i never am. It's like an alcoholic saying "ok, but just one drink".
And one thing I've noticed is that after years and years of online interaction, much of it on Reddit, Twitter, a little Tumblr, and a tiny tiny tiny bit on Instagram - is that the more i interact on these things, the more anxious and just generally stressed that I am.
I feel increasingly alone in the world - i feel that when i lean left, when i lean right, within fandoms of this or that, within FOSS communities, or just in general.
But then I talk to the people in my actual life - wife, parents, neighbors, and sure - we're all different in a variety of ways, but the in person evokes more of a connection even if the people around me aren't all rubberstamping my views and tastes.
I'm very addicted to the dopamine rush of the upvote. It feels like i'm a petty or a small person to admit that, but I am. Quitting social media has been harder than giving up tobacco (smoked for 15 years), or energy drinks (drank for almost 20 years). I've given up most recreational drinking - no problem.
But the rapid fire nature of social media.. that hole that it fills when you in these moments where you're bored but don't really have time to ramp up into anything important.... for instance - i have a hard time just stopping/starting books or long form articles. If i watch a video - i want to watch it all the way through. If i want to listen to a record - all the way through. If i get into a project, i want to make some kind of headway. Social media fills up the 10 min here, 15 min there and by the time you're sucked back in you're devoting time to it that you COULD devote to something worthwhile.
The thing that sucks is i feel disconnected from what's going on - with entertainment, with politics, with everything. I always go back and say "this time i'll be more balanced" but i never am. It's like an alcoholic saying "ok, but just one drink".
> In practice, I don't find that closely following breaking news is all that useful to me, since I'm not in a position to do anything about it, and it just makes me anxious to worry about things which are out of my control.
Bingo. This is why I never got into the habit of watching the news at all. This exact line of thinking.
This is also why I think society is kind of mad. I can clearly see when the news has people in their grip because then everyone talks about what happened, and eventually almost everyone has the same opinion about what happened (which is the opinion the news has given them and put in their heads).
I wonder if people in the west realise there is propaganda here too, and it's not just in Russia and China.
Bingo. This is why I never got into the habit of watching the news at all. This exact line of thinking.
This is also why I think society is kind of mad. I can clearly see when the news has people in their grip because then everyone talks about what happened, and eventually almost everyone has the same opinion about what happened (which is the opinion the news has given them and put in their heads).
I wonder if people in the west realise there is propaganda here too, and it's not just in Russia and China.
I love Twitter but recently removed Instagram from my phone and as a result, my usage dropped to near zero. I found I was watching the same updates (here's my baby doing this fun thing!), which was nice, but I wasn't really connected to this individual, and for most of my Instagram it was old friends and colleagues who no longer live near me or share much similarities.
Twitter, Instagram, Hacker News, etc. are all attention sinks but I realized I wasn't getting much value from Instagram beyond a minor wholesome feeling to see (old) friends living their life. Reels were kind of fun sometimes but mostly a waste of time, though.
The joy I get from Twitter is being able to consume topics highly relevant to me, and I aggressively curate through blocking/muting, grooming followers, and interacting with very smart people in their respective fields.
The pain I get from Twitter is a feeling I'm never good enough. I make a good salary which pays for my entire family of four's well-being, but ... there's always someone on there making more, or creating something cooler. During parental leave I spent more of my time with neighbours, volunteering at the community garden, and it felt more whole, but I still had a part of my brain thinking about the missed opportunities in building value / wealth. Hm.
Twitter, Instagram, Hacker News, etc. are all attention sinks but I realized I wasn't getting much value from Instagram beyond a minor wholesome feeling to see (old) friends living their life. Reels were kind of fun sometimes but mostly a waste of time, though.
The joy I get from Twitter is being able to consume topics highly relevant to me, and I aggressively curate through blocking/muting, grooming followers, and interacting with very smart people in their respective fields.
The pain I get from Twitter is a feeling I'm never good enough. I make a good salary which pays for my entire family of four's well-being, but ... there's always someone on there making more, or creating something cooler. During parental leave I spent more of my time with neighbours, volunteering at the community garden, and it felt more whole, but I still had a part of my brain thinking about the missed opportunities in building value / wealth. Hm.
A couple thoughts here. I was an adult before social media was a thing, or even the web, and I sometimes wonder if I would have even attempted much of the experimentation I did - doubtful, at least at that age. Why bother when now it takes only a few minutes searching to find someone who already solved the problem, and better than you (think) you could have. But now I understand I would have missed out on so much had I not even tried. Who knows what fresh angle you’ll bring to the table? It happens.
The second thought is at some point you come to terms with your own limitations (and strengths!), and you realize, yes this person is great at such and such, but am I able to do what I want in my life with my talents? Am I happy doing my thing, even if it’s not “as good” as them? Yep. So good for them. And good for you.
The second thought is at some point you come to terms with your own limitations (and strengths!), and you realize, yes this person is great at such and such, but am I able to do what I want in my life with my talents? Am I happy doing my thing, even if it’s not “as good” as them? Yep. So good for them. And good for you.
I've noticed that I did a lot more theorycrafting in games prior to the easy availability of game streams. I think I am finally coming around to the idea that these videos should inspire me to do more theorycrafting instead of letting other people do it for me, but it's been a long journey.
The safety lectures in videos for some hobbies probably would have let me get farther along in them as a child, if I had bothered to participate instead of just spectate.
The safety lectures in videos for some hobbies probably would have let me get farther along in them as a child, if I had bothered to participate instead of just spectate.
I've had the same reaction to watching videos about strategies and combos in fighting games. What I started doing was asking myself how I could have discovered this idea and taking it back to the lab to reconstruct the discovery, so to speak.
What I've found over time is that I got better at discovering what I needed, but that it was still worth looking over some theorycrafting type videos to see anything I might have missed.
This brought me full circle to the point where, even though I was still watching a video, I felt like there was a dialogue going on ("yeah, I know A, B and C, but D is a neat trick. You seemed to have missed E though.").
What I've found over time is that I got better at discovering what I needed, but that it was still worth looking over some theorycrafting type videos to see anything I might have missed.
This brought me full circle to the point where, even though I was still watching a video, I felt like there was a dialogue going on ("yeah, I know A, B and C, but D is a neat trick. You seemed to have missed E though.").
> but I still had a part of my brain thinking about the missed opportunities in building value / wealth. Hm.
I think this was your main point right? I also feel the same, but not because of Twitter. I think Twitter is an amazing social platform but it takes certain type of people to succeed on it. I'm sure there are tons of people who are very smart and is making more or creating something cooler but not broadcasting it on Twitter. Maybe you are one of those people.
I think this was your main point right? I also feel the same, but not because of Twitter. I think Twitter is an amazing social platform but it takes certain type of people to succeed on it. I'm sure there are tons of people who are very smart and is making more or creating something cooler but not broadcasting it on Twitter. Maybe you are one of those people.
Let's not forget the lies that are broadcasted left and right on social media, in which thousands become millions, and trite tropes are sold like congress-worthy insights.
You are right, it takes a certain type of people to succeed on Twitter and, jealous as I am of my private life for example and unwilling to interact or share much online, I am definitely not among those.
You are right, it takes a certain type of people to succeed on Twitter and, jealous as I am of my private life for example and unwilling to interact or share much online, I am definitely not among those.
I quit social media for a year and nothing magical happened to me. I think it's because I never really had a problem with it, since all my feeds were heavily curated and I didn't scroll through mountains of noise. The content I consume is always high quality, because I made social media work for me. I avoid Instagram since it's too visual and full of posers. Twitter is more real and authentic. Facebook is mostly for the family group chat which I enjoy more than the timeline. You have to make it work for you.
How can you call twitter more authentic when it seems pretty clear (to me ofc) that their stupid length limit is ideally cut out to stir controversy and create confrontation out of nowhere (by virtue of people assuming the worst when there's not enough info presented to them).
Depends on who you follow. I follow people like patio11 or different startup founders, they have good thoughts and insights. I don't use it to follow random people who stir up drama.
You could say it depends for every platform. It's just some of them employ formats that are cancerous to begin with.
Formats and patterns is pretty much the only things you can judge a social media site on since there's no real way to say that content is universally worse somewhere than other.
Formats and patterns is pretty much the only things you can judge a social media site on since there's no real way to say that content is universally worse somewhere than other.
It’s easier to ignore bullshit on Twitter.
With Facebook, unless you actively block lots of people, your high school buddy’s uncle will show up with some valuable information to share.
With Twitter that crap is buried unless it hits some internet celebrity. Twitter is also less manipulative of the stream, while Facebook is focused on driving engagement.
I just opened up Twitter, the top 5 items are SwiftOnSecurity, my city’s mayor chief of staff, my little league, and a post about Roman artifacts. 100% signal.
Just opened up Facebook, and the top 5 are: somebody’s new curtains, a pitch to friend more people, an ad for noom, a colleague sharing his opinion about Texas abortion law, and a post from my favorite baseball team. 40% signal.
With Facebook, unless you actively block lots of people, your high school buddy’s uncle will show up with some valuable information to share.
With Twitter that crap is buried unless it hits some internet celebrity. Twitter is also less manipulative of the stream, while Facebook is focused on driving engagement.
I just opened up Twitter, the top 5 items are SwiftOnSecurity, my city’s mayor chief of staff, my little league, and a post about Roman artifacts. 100% signal.
Just opened up Facebook, and the top 5 are: somebody’s new curtains, a pitch to friend more people, an ad for noom, a colleague sharing his opinion about Texas abortion law, and a post from my favorite baseball team. 40% signal.
This is a good point, but just to be the devil's advocate, I will point out that most social networks are starting to implement features where they fill your feed with content you never signed up for. They'll call it something like "suggested" posts. Granted, I think Instagram is the one I've noticed it on the most, and you said you don't use that. But I could see that feature catching on to the point that feeds are harder and harder to maintain control of as a user.
> social networks are starting to implement features where they fill your feed with content you never signed up for. They'll call it something like "suggested" posts
Well Twitter has lists which I make full use of. I created a few private lists that I browse at my leisure, with different topics, like 'Tech', 'Design', 'Politics', 'Thought Leaders', 'Memes', 'Current Events' etc
Well Twitter has lists which I make full use of. I created a few private lists that I browse at my leisure, with different topics, like 'Tech', 'Design', 'Politics', 'Thought Leaders', 'Memes', 'Current Events' etc
At least for me, Twitter sneaks in sponsored content into my feeds and the profiles of the people I follow.
I quit Facebook about a year ago and don't miss it at all, but I think I'd really miss Instagram, because about 90% of my feed there is contemporary artists, galleries, curators and critics. At the moment there is (sadly) no other platform that lets you see the latest work by your preferred slice of the international art world -- ranging from the famous to the mostly unknown.
At least in this area, I've encountered very few posers. I don't know if there are other subjects where the same holds true on Instagram, but it seems like there probably would be.
At least in this area, I've encountered very few posers. I don't know if there are other subjects where the same holds true on Instagram, but it seems like there probably would be.
I'm at almost a week since looking at Facebook. Like you, I curated the content pretty well, but also wanted to avoid it being an echo chamber, so I don't think I unfriended more than 5 people in a decade because I disagree with them politically. Those were only because they were constantly posting inflammatory memes, always picking fights, and full of negativity. I don't need that in my life or in my feed.
A few weeks back, Facebook changed their algorithm significantly for me. Suddenly I'm getting tons of pages you may like, random comments from friends on pages that are completely useless (stuff like "What street did you grow up on?", "Only 17% of people can remember their kindergarten teachers name. What was yours?", "What do you think about this Manhattan loft?"), etc. No matter how many times I marked I want to see less content like this, it kept feeding me that crap. I don't want reactionary stuff force fed to me.
I'm sure I've missed a couple life events among friends I'd find value in seeing, but I haven't missed it enough to login.
A few weeks back, Facebook changed their algorithm significantly for me. Suddenly I'm getting tons of pages you may like, random comments from friends on pages that are completely useless (stuff like "What street did you grow up on?", "Only 17% of people can remember their kindergarten teachers name. What was yours?", "What do you think about this Manhattan loft?"), etc. No matter how many times I marked I want to see less content like this, it kept feeding me that crap. I don't want reactionary stuff force fed to me.
I'm sure I've missed a couple life events among friends I'd find value in seeing, but I haven't missed it enough to login.
Surveys to farm your password reset answers.
they want to know who you are, what you like, what you'll buy
I recommended it in a similar discussion before, but Cal Newport's "Digital Minimalism" offers reasonable ways to introduce intermittent fasting patterns into your social media consumption vs quitting cold turkey.
Some sample strategies to adopt:
1) Mobile sites only, never apps. Always log out when done to increase the friction of subsequent logins. The most insidious pattern of mindless engagement is when you're bored at the checkout line, waiting in-between meetings with nothing to do, sitting on the toilet.
2) Even better: computer access only, never mobile. Your phone is always around, unlike your PC. Set a time slot (20 min or so) when you know you're around your computer. Social networks really excel at this pattern of usage. You'll get the most important stuff, fluff relegated to the bottom of the feed, which solves the FOMO and shield you from the rest. This can be daily first and then cut down to whatever pattern you feel like (Newport himself claims he catches up on social media once a week).
I am sure I am butchering some of his advice, so worth reading the book.
Some sample strategies to adopt:
1) Mobile sites only, never apps. Always log out when done to increase the friction of subsequent logins. The most insidious pattern of mindless engagement is when you're bored at the checkout line, waiting in-between meetings with nothing to do, sitting on the toilet.
2) Even better: computer access only, never mobile. Your phone is always around, unlike your PC. Set a time slot (20 min or so) when you know you're around your computer. Social networks really excel at this pattern of usage. You'll get the most important stuff, fluff relegated to the bottom of the feed, which solves the FOMO and shield you from the rest. This can be daily first and then cut down to whatever pattern you feel like (Newport himself claims he catches up on social media once a week).
I am sure I am butchering some of his advice, so worth reading the book.
> The most insidious pattern of mindless engagement is when you're bored at the checkout line, waiting in-between meetings with nothing to do, sitting on the toilet.
Just curious, why is this considered the "most insidious"? Isn't that time wasted anyway? Before cellphones you would just stare off into space (you're not getting any deep thinking or deep work done waiting in line) or would just browse the gum or trash magazines.
> computer access only, never mobile
This one definitely makes sense. It was interesting time when Facebook was around but smartphones weren't fully ubiquitous. You would only see your feed on the laptop and had to text friends to stay in touch in real-time (even if async)
Just curious, why is this considered the "most insidious"? Isn't that time wasted anyway? Before cellphones you would just stare off into space (you're not getting any deep thinking or deep work done waiting in line) or would just browse the gum or trash magazines.
> computer access only, never mobile
This one definitely makes sense. It was interesting time when Facebook was around but smartphones weren't fully ubiquitous. You would only see your feed on the laptop and had to text friends to stay in touch in real-time (even if async)
You could think and self-reflect. There is a reason why shower thoughts are a thing, in a society dominated by things that illicit emotional reactions it's hard to have time to just be.
Shower thoughts are great b/c you know nearly exactly how long a shower takes, you're relaxed, doing something basically automatic, and can take longer if you need to. You can also talk to yourself.
I guess what I'm saying is I find other moments in my day (shower, sipping my coffee in the morning, the few moments I take after I close my work laptop but before I start my evening, journaling, jogging or walking) to be much more effective and rewarding for thinking and self-reflection. Those times give insight and clarity. Not out in public with the cacophony of other people.
Obviously one can do both and more power to them/you.
I personally find the worst mind-scrolling is when I could be doing anything else (opportunity cost) not when I'm literally just waiting around.
I guess what I'm saying is I find other moments in my day (shower, sipping my coffee in the morning, the few moments I take after I close my work laptop but before I start my evening, journaling, jogging or walking) to be much more effective and rewarding for thinking and self-reflection. Those times give insight and clarity. Not out in public with the cacophony of other people.
Obviously one can do both and more power to them/you.
I personally find the worst mind-scrolling is when I could be doing anything else (opportunity cost) not when I'm literally just waiting around.
When out and about, I think it’s less about finding some meaningful insight in that moment, and more about cultivating a habit of being present.
Mowing does it for me as well. It's why I carry a pocket notebook and a pen with me. I avoid apps because distractions can pull me, like an unread text message and I lose my flow of thought.
Occasionally I even write pseudo paper that I wrote in my head while doing something else.
I think you identified an important part, it's the habit of doing something, while your mind doesn't have to use a lot of horse power. I never thought about it from that perspective, but it rings true.
Occasionally I even write pseudo paper that I wrote in my head while doing something else.
I think you identified an important part, it's the habit of doing something, while your mind doesn't have to use a lot of horse power. I never thought about it from that perspective, but it rings true.
> Before cellphones you would just stare off into space (you're not getting any deep thinking or deep work done waiting in line) or would just browse the gum or trash magazines.
The key is that the "before cellphones" behavior often involved a greater connection to one's immediate surroundings, or being "present". The risk/concern with browsing a phone in these moments is that it promotes disconnection and feeds our brain's need for that next dopamine hit. Some hypothesize that this constant disconnection from "here/now" is part of society's broader problems and people increasingly look at the real world through the lens of social media, which we know to be a major distortion of reality.
Disclaimer: anecdote, sample size of one, etc...for me personally, I've been working hard not to fill those idle moments and instead focus on being present and stay in the moment. This could literally be as simple as noticing the variety of gum options in the checkout line. I already have dissociative tendencies due to PTSD, and one of the most effective ways for me to dissociate is to lose myself in the endless scroll. Conversely, staying present/connected to my surroundings helps my mental state immensely.
The key is that the "before cellphones" behavior often involved a greater connection to one's immediate surroundings, or being "present". The risk/concern with browsing a phone in these moments is that it promotes disconnection and feeds our brain's need for that next dopamine hit. Some hypothesize that this constant disconnection from "here/now" is part of society's broader problems and people increasingly look at the real world through the lens of social media, which we know to be a major distortion of reality.
Disclaimer: anecdote, sample size of one, etc...for me personally, I've been working hard not to fill those idle moments and instead focus on being present and stay in the moment. This could literally be as simple as noticing the variety of gum options in the checkout line. I already have dissociative tendencies due to PTSD, and one of the most effective ways for me to dissociate is to lose myself in the endless scroll. Conversely, staying present/connected to my surroundings helps my mental state immensely.
Don't know about anyone else, but I've gotten some good ideas and had some nice a-ha! moments during those "default mode network" times.
> Just curious, why is this considered the "most insidious"?
I think it's insidious not because it is inherently worse to check your phone than it is to stare into space at odd moments (that may be true, but I don't think that was the point). It's insidious because it's not a conscious decision you're making to do something because you want to, it's more like a tic, or a sign of addiction.
I think it's insidious not because it is inherently worse to check your phone than it is to stare into space at odd moments (that may be true, but I don't think that was the point). It's insidious because it's not a conscious decision you're making to do something because you want to, it's more like a tic, or a sign of addiction.
What would Cal have us do on the can, if not doom scroll Twitter?
I'm not Cal, but it seems like the real fix to that isn't finding another attention-consumer, but instead fixing whatever is causing excess can time.
That's why Readers Digest existed
memorise the ingredients list on the shampoo bottle, at least that's what I do when I forget to take my phone to the bathroom.
Sometimes I feel HN also is a similar attention sink, even Wikipedia as well. They also can draw you in for information snacking, and before you know hours have gone. Commenting and reading responses in HN is also another attention consuming loop.
And checking to see if your comment stays near the top, how many up votes, reading the replies to see if you're a smart person or not.
This is what made me delete my Reddit account. I realized I was putting an inappropriate amount of effort into impressing people I'd never meet.
Not sure if that treadmill is just built into my personality or if it was specifically caused by the site. I don't feel it here as much, although it could just be that the account there was older, so it felt like it'd developed more of an 'identity' (silly as that is).
Not sure if that treadmill is just built into my personality or if it was specifically caused by the site. I don't feel it here as much, although it could just be that the account there was older, so it felt like it'd developed more of an 'identity' (silly as that is).
I have a couple Reddit accounts and that is a game you can get caught up in. The trick is that you can always score more points by making a stupid in-group comment on /r/politics or /r/funny than you can being smart. Once you know this the number matters a lot less (at least to me).
My best comment was a dumb in-joke for quite a while. But eventually I beat it with a comment was reassuring people who didn't excel as much as they'd expected during the pandemic. I actually feel pretty good about the comment itself, there were some people who followed up that really did seem to be relieved by the sentiment. But it still is, essentially, this bizarre fleeting interaction where we just see one comment from each other, and no real attachment is made. Then then afterwards, it is like, "am I playing some weird gamified thing where expressing actual human empathy is how you get a high score" which didn't feel good really.
I'm not the only person who never feels like they're one of the "smart people" in these threads, right? After close to a decade on this forum I've just learned not to fight that feeling and instead to find the humor in it.
Hmm. I've never cared about that. For whatever reason. I generally don't care what other people think - especially after I read Feynman's book of the same name decades ago.
Feynman certainly cared a great deal about what others thought of him, and he has been known to embellish many stories to appear as the common genius in the situation. In short, he was a genius, but he also wanted it to be known very well by others.
"HN comments are terrible. On any topic I’m informed about, the vast majority of comments are pretty clearly wrong."
From https://danluu.com/hn-comments/ . I happen to agree.
From https://danluu.com/hn-comments/ . I happen to agree.
Stands to reason. The purpose of commenting is to be wrong, so that someone will correct you, allowing you to learn more about the subject matter. Cunningham's Law.
If you are well versed in a topic there is no reason to talk about it. You are already well versed in it and gain nothing from discussing it further.
If you are well versed in a topic there is no reason to talk about it. You are already well versed in it and gain nothing from discussing it further.
All true, but in both cases I control what I look at. I am the filter. If I waste my time or learn the wrong things, it is on me.
But if you keep reading he then makes the argument that despite that, there's still quality content to be found and gives some nice examples.
The Gell-Mann amnesia effect: "...In any case, you read with exasperation or amusement the multiple errors in a story, and then turn the page to national or international affairs, and read as if the rest of the newspaper was somehow more accurate about Palestine than the baloney you just read. You turn the page, and forget what you know."
https://www.epsilontheory.com/gell-mann-amnesia/
https://www.epsilontheory.com/gell-mann-amnesia/
> even Wikipedia as well
In my case at least browsing Wikipedia is an assumed guilty habit, just like coffee.
What usually happens is that I browse /r/soccer or something similar and I get to the wikipedia page of a specific (mostly European) football league, like the Dutch Eredivisie or the Norwegian first league. Once on that page I click on a specific team (let's say Utrecht, Molde or Groningen) and before I know it I end up reading about the Hanseatic league or about the Spanish dominions in the Low Countries in the 1600s.
In my case at least browsing Wikipedia is an assumed guilty habit, just like coffee.
What usually happens is that I browse /r/soccer or something similar and I get to the wikipedia page of a specific (mostly European) football league, like the Dutch Eredivisie or the Norwegian first league. Once on that page I click on a specific team (let's say Utrecht, Molde or Groningen) and before I know it I end up reading about the Hanseatic league or about the Spanish dominions in the Low Countries in the 1600s.
I use HN and Twitter in between builds and deploys. Not sure what else I could do during that time, it is too small to focus attention on most other things. I wonder if this time is really "wasted" since otherwise i'd be looking at the docker progress monitor.
Perhaps I could take a walk, which would be good.
Perhaps I could take a walk, which would be good.
It is. There's a lot more than hacker news on here. And the rules aren't always followed, which makes it a bit more social-media-y, but the mods do a great job keeping it tidy. I guess there is more non-hacker news stuff appearing because it gets a little tedious to see "New programming language X" or "CSS tricks you never heard of" every week.
Or if I can put it in one sentence: I don't want to consume the life of others. I want to create a life worth consuming.
Merzbow has an ironicly titled song name: "Become the discovered, not the discoverer"
I don't think that is the summary, because a main focus of the post is that social media makes you do things that others thing are "worth consuming", so you can post it for others to consume.
In this context, is consume the same thing as follow?
There's something about the use of consume in this way that has always bugged me.
There's something about the use of consume in this way that has always bugged me.
Well put. My only social media connection was via Twitter, which I quit a month ago. This states the motivation, and the resulting benefit, succinctly.
A life worth consuming on social media?
A life worth living. It doesn't have to be Instagram worthy.
Aren’t lives worth living a subset of Instagram worthy lives?
I don't use Facebook or Instagram. But I use Twitter, YouTube, Reddit and Hacker News.
I used to think that this is not that bad, after all, I'm consuming actually good content, not silly stuff like in those other networks. But then I was shocked to see how much time I'm actually spending on these networks. This is easy to see in the "Digital Wellbeing" section of modern phones. It was hours, several each day.
I was having trouble keeping up with my chores or exercising. I blamed work. I work the whole week and then in the weekend I want to rest, not to do chores. So I was falling behind. It took me a while to realize that the actual problem is that I'm spending so much time on social media. It's consuming all my free time. I don't watch TV anymore, I rarely watch movies or read books. Most of my free time is being devoured by social media.
The key word here is "addiction". It doesn't matter if you think that the content you consume is actually valuable. These are short doses of dopamine that make you feel good for a very short time and leave you wanting more. You start with a nice video of a guy building an 8 bit computer from scratch and you end up watching a girl watching dogs. And you keep scrolling because you want more dopamine. And if there is nothing more, you switch to Twitter or Reddit. And all these sites are being constantly optimized to keep you on the dopamine rush for as long as possible.
I used to think that the content I was consuming was actually good and valuable. And some of it is, but it was much less that I thought. One day I realized that I can barely remember anything that I have consumed on social media a week ago. Forget about a month ago or a year ago. It's because most of this content is so unimportant that it doesn't stick in my brain. Other slower sources of dopamine aren't like this. A good movie or book leave you with something to remember. Social media rarely does.
I now understood that I have an addiction to social media. I have yet to overcome it though (after all, I'm here on HN). But at least I know that I have a problem.
I used to think that this is not that bad, after all, I'm consuming actually good content, not silly stuff like in those other networks. But then I was shocked to see how much time I'm actually spending on these networks. This is easy to see in the "Digital Wellbeing" section of modern phones. It was hours, several each day.
I was having trouble keeping up with my chores or exercising. I blamed work. I work the whole week and then in the weekend I want to rest, not to do chores. So I was falling behind. It took me a while to realize that the actual problem is that I'm spending so much time on social media. It's consuming all my free time. I don't watch TV anymore, I rarely watch movies or read books. Most of my free time is being devoured by social media.
The key word here is "addiction". It doesn't matter if you think that the content you consume is actually valuable. These are short doses of dopamine that make you feel good for a very short time and leave you wanting more. You start with a nice video of a guy building an 8 bit computer from scratch and you end up watching a girl watching dogs. And you keep scrolling because you want more dopamine. And if there is nothing more, you switch to Twitter or Reddit. And all these sites are being constantly optimized to keep you on the dopamine rush for as long as possible.
I used to think that the content I was consuming was actually good and valuable. And some of it is, but it was much less that I thought. One day I realized that I can barely remember anything that I have consumed on social media a week ago. Forget about a month ago or a year ago. It's because most of this content is so unimportant that it doesn't stick in my brain. Other slower sources of dopamine aren't like this. A good movie or book leave you with something to remember. Social media rarely does.
I now understood that I have an addiction to social media. I have yet to overcome it though (after all, I'm here on HN). But at least I know that I have a problem.
This resonates with me as I am consuming content on these four social media platforms as well with the same thinking. It's always interesting to get to know some ingenious engineering detail about constructing bridges from Youtube, or a first-hand opinion from some analyst on some niche on Twitter or like in this case a discussion about drawbacks of a certain digital lifestyle.
However I also always wondered whether one of these is better than others, and how I would curate it in a better way. Is actively commenting on HN better than passively watching engineering videos? What about active engagement on YT, and passively reading on HN? Most stuff will be forgotten in a couple of days/weeks anyway as you said, but some will stick or add up to your overall knowledge/behaviour and similar to sifting mud for eventual nuggets of gold this is what keeps me doing it.
I just recently read something about using your consumption time for productive work (not necessarily job-work, but hobby-work) and I'm thinking about more stuff I could create to overcome the consumption trap. Ironically however I probably read it on HN as well.
However I also always wondered whether one of these is better than others, and how I would curate it in a better way. Is actively commenting on HN better than passively watching engineering videos? What about active engagement on YT, and passively reading on HN? Most stuff will be forgotten in a couple of days/weeks anyway as you said, but some will stick or add up to your overall knowledge/behaviour and similar to sifting mud for eventual nuggets of gold this is what keeps me doing it.
I just recently read something about using your consumption time for productive work (not necessarily job-work, but hobby-work) and I'm thinking about more stuff I could create to overcome the consumption trap. Ironically however I probably read it on HN as well.
As someone susceptible to very similar social media addiction habits from the same media, I found that specifically circumscribing the content I consume from Youtube, HN, and Reddit helps a lot. I usually use RSS or build my own scrapers for sites and have them fetch new content every few minutes. That means I'm forced to consume content that I specifically opted-in for and I'm not in a constant consumption loop. For me that's enough distance that I can disengage easily, but enough connection that I feel social.
Maybe I'm the outlier - but everybody I am "friends" with on social media I'm friends with IRL (save for Twitter, but that's more blogging than social media). We just post what we did this weekend and stuff like that. Post stuff that the kids are doing (and for some of my friends what the grandkids are doing). No one is trying to impress anyone else. People just staying in touch. Maybe we older folks have a better feel for how to integrate technology into our everyday lives than we're given credit for.
Who your friends with changes a lot during our younger years. School, college, job changes, neighborhood changes, …etc, all bring new friends and old friends you can’t find time for. These changes are rarely reflected in social media.
In addition, younger people do follow a lot of “influencers” - the worst kinda people to follow in social media.
In addition, younger people do follow a lot of “influencers” - the worst kinda people to follow in social media.
What generation do you fall into?
I’ve noticed some groups of people are better than others. Most of my baby boomer relatives are really bad about social media, sharing tons of political things (often nasty and offputting) and seem to liken social media to spending time with people or catching up with them a bit inappropriately.
I’ve noticed some groups of people are better than others. Most of my baby boomer relatives are really bad about social media, sharing tons of political things (often nasty and offputting) and seem to liken social media to spending time with people or catching up with them a bit inappropriately.
I agree - Instagram and Facebook I only follow / friend people that I'm actually friends with and would normally speak with. Limiting it this (1) makes it less frustrating / argumentative content, but also (2) makes it run out of content faster, which means spending less time on it.
My biggest complaint about Facebook (besides the obvious shitty company stuff) is that I don't want to see what other people are sharing (meme posts, etc). I wish there was an "only show me OC" filter.
My biggest complaint about Facebook (besides the obvious shitty company stuff) is that I don't want to see what other people are sharing (meme posts, etc). I wish there was an "only show me OC" filter.
> Maybe I'm the outlier
A good sanity check of this is to use Dunbar's number (usually considered at ~150)[0] and see how many of your friends and friends of friends have a number of social media "friends" that reaches or exceeds that number.
In case you are unfamiliar: Dunbar's number is a proposed cognitive limit to the number of real social relationships we can have based on brain size.
The total number of real, stable social relationships you can have is physiologically limited, so having 200 facebook "friends" that truly are your friends is impossible.
Because we do have connections with people outside of social media (hopefully!) even 150 friends is nearly impossible unless you are friends with literally every social relationship you have.
So if you want to see, I would first establish that you are really in the group you think you are. If you are only connected with true, irl friends you likely don't have much more than 30 "friends". Then sample the graph of that network a bit and see where you are in the distribution of "friends".
0.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar%27s_number
A good sanity check of this is to use Dunbar's number (usually considered at ~150)[0] and see how many of your friends and friends of friends have a number of social media "friends" that reaches or exceeds that number.
In case you are unfamiliar: Dunbar's number is a proposed cognitive limit to the number of real social relationships we can have based on brain size.
The total number of real, stable social relationships you can have is physiologically limited, so having 200 facebook "friends" that truly are your friends is impossible.
Because we do have connections with people outside of social media (hopefully!) even 150 friends is nearly impossible unless you are friends with literally every social relationship you have.
So if you want to see, I would first establish that you are really in the group you think you are. If you are only connected with true, irl friends you likely don't have much more than 30 "friends". Then sample the graph of that network a bit and see where you are in the distribution of "friends".
0.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar%27s_number
I have roughly 70-80 social media friends, discounting Twitter which I don't engage with my friends at all but instead engage with other computer science, mathematics, physics and beer enthusiasts. These are people having similar interests to me, but they're not my friends. Sort of like HN - you can think of HN as a professional community where we all have like interests, but we're not friends. Like this conversation, we're just strangers who've met and are talking for a brief moment.
What makes the real difference is curating followers and avoiding mindless "reel type" scrolling. As always, it's being intentional rather than setting hard limits (e.g., being friends only in real life, limiting the number of follows after some weak sociological studies) that makes the difference in the quality of the experience.
I've learned a lot from Tiktok, Reddit, Twitter, certain corners of Facebook, etc., and met a lot of interesting people on dating apps. And I hope people have learned from me. Sure, I've wasted time too, and waited too long before I muted people who made me angry, and it took me some unnecessary time before I realized they weren't talking to me, but my world has gotten a lot bigger and more interesting and more adventurous than before.
I've learned a lot from Tiktok, Reddit, Twitter, certain corners of Facebook, etc., and met a lot of interesting people on dating apps. And I hope people have learned from me. Sure, I've wasted time too, and waited too long before I muted people who made me angry, and it took me some unnecessary time before I realized they weren't talking to me, but my world has gotten a lot bigger and more interesting and more adventurous than before.
I quit sometime last Spring. I don't know what happened but I finally was able to.
I think I feel happier because I have lower expectations and my small successes feel big in my mind because I am not comparing to others.
For example, a few minor home repairs over the weekend feels huge to me. I really feel great about them. One of my best friends is a carpenter and I know shouldn't compare.. but I think I do it unconsciously.
I still have social media accounts. I posted a last message once I knew I wasn't going back to social media.
I think I feel happier because I have lower expectations and my small successes feel big in my mind because I am not comparing to others.
For example, a few minor home repairs over the weekend feels huge to me. I really feel great about them. One of my best friends is a carpenter and I know shouldn't compare.. but I think I do it unconsciously.
I still have social media accounts. I posted a last message once I knew I wasn't going back to social media.
I still have my accounts and browse through them once every day or two in order to see what people are up to, but I consciously made a decision to stop posting a few years ago, and then to stop commenting on contentious threads maybe a year or so ago. I agree life has been much better, there's no lingering obligation to respond to someone who disagrees with you N times/hour. I see some of my friends posting things to "make people think" or whatever but somehow the discourse is never constructive.
small victories, right?
:)
:)
I always find these "quitting social media" blog posts a bit ironic... "social media is addictive and encourages doing and posting things just for the attention and to make other people think I am interesting... so I wrote this blog post about quitting social media, and am posting it to hacker news and other sites... I hope lots of people read it and think I am insightful"
The internet is for sharing. Social media is for driving engagement from users, mining their data, and encouraging unhealthy social comparison (as well as, you know, organizing events and messages and stuff). Nothing wrong with sharing a blog post on an experience you had that you think may be of value to others.
To dive a bit further into this, I was very socially active on the Internet 20 years ago, and it was a magical thing. I made friends that I still communicate with today, and I credit the amazing community I aligned myself with for helping me become the person I am today (in a good way).
Social media today is nothing like those early communities, and I rarely participate for that reason. Some of the core motivations (e.g. desire for connection/community) exist in both places, but the similarities pretty much end there.
The closest modern day equivalent (for me) is HN and some very niche subreddits.
Social media today is nothing like those early communities, and I rarely participate for that reason. Some of the core motivations (e.g. desire for connection/community) exist in both places, but the similarities pretty much end there.
The closest modern day equivalent (for me) is HN and some very niche subreddits.
Ditto. The important thing about the forums of yore were that they were largely composed of users who self-selected into it, and were oriented around a particular topic. They didn't have the thing were tons of people latched on and then just hung around for no reason other than their own boredom.
I think there's a fundamental difference in how forums are used vs social media. The catch-all nature of social media molds it into a device which people use to construct an idealized representation of themselves. Forums seem to head more in the direction of discussing/arguing about focused topics, rather than identity-creation.
I think there's a fundamental difference in how forums are used vs social media. The catch-all nature of social media molds it into a device which people use to construct an idealized representation of themselves. Forums seem to head more in the direction of discussing/arguing about focused topics, rather than identity-creation.
I understand your POV on this, I quit social media relatively silently[1]. From my POV, ex-social-media-addict now "clean" for 838 days[2], there is a strong degree of FOMO attached to not being on SM. Here are a few examples of where I wish I had "told folks" that I was quitting:
* For the first 9 months folks would often say: "I missed you at my such-and-such event last month", and I would reply: "email me next time". Perhaps if I had quit loudly I'd have felt less FOMO-y and been invited to more events.
* Births / Deaths / Marriages; I'm completely out of the loop, which is almost always a worse off situation. I've come to learn that I want to know sooner rather than later when folks have died because going through grief a week or two after other folks absolutely sucks. I wonder if I quit loudly folks would reach out more proactively in these situations?
* Generally feeling connected: a "personal talent" of mine is a relatively strong ability to remember what I read about folks on their FB timelines. Without that I feel pretty disconnected; and there are a lot of folks I "miss" as a result. Would this have been different if I quit in the open? Would folks have said: "oh you can follow my photo stream and see what I'm up to?"
That final example, when coupled with deaths, is particularly acute. You're left wondering whether you could have helped prevent self harm, etc.
[1] https://twitter.com/ossareh/status/1133957584153694214
[2] I mean this jovially, apologies to anyone that struggles with a more manifest addiction if this phrasing comes across as trite.
* For the first 9 months folks would often say: "I missed you at my such-and-such event last month", and I would reply: "email me next time". Perhaps if I had quit loudly I'd have felt less FOMO-y and been invited to more events.
* Births / Deaths / Marriages; I'm completely out of the loop, which is almost always a worse off situation. I've come to learn that I want to know sooner rather than later when folks have died because going through grief a week or two after other folks absolutely sucks. I wonder if I quit loudly folks would reach out more proactively in these situations?
* Generally feeling connected: a "personal talent" of mine is a relatively strong ability to remember what I read about folks on their FB timelines. Without that I feel pretty disconnected; and there are a lot of folks I "miss" as a result. Would this have been different if I quit in the open? Would folks have said: "oh you can follow my photo stream and see what I'm up to?"
That final example, when coupled with deaths, is particularly acute. You're left wondering whether you could have helped prevent self harm, etc.
[1] https://twitter.com/ossareh/status/1133957584153694214
[2] I mean this jovially, apologies to anyone that struggles with a more manifest addiction if this phrasing comes across as trite.
Leaving social media really helped me evaluate who my actual friends are, and who were just names on a list. If someone is only willing to communicate with me if it's through a single corporate-mediated ad/promotion machine, and will just stop contacting if I'm not on said machine, are they really my friend? I've come to the conclusion "No" and honestly, I feel my life is better off interacting with fewer real friends than awash in the feeds of numerous names-on-a-list.
At the end of the day, I realized I don't care about such-and-such events, births, deaths, etc. of people who will only talk to me if it's through Facebook.
At the end of the day, I realized I don't care about such-and-such events, births, deaths, etc. of people who will only talk to me if it's through Facebook.
> so I wrote this blog post about quitting social media, and am posting it to hacker news and other sites
I'm not sure if the fact that the author includes "Share to Facebook/Twitter" links at the bottom of the blog post is more comical or downright insulting to the reader.
They spend several paragraphs describing all the harm social media causes to themselves and society as a whole, then describe their epiphany and the joy of freeing themselves from its psychological chains, and then ask you to contribute to it. At very least it's extremely insincere.
I'm not sure if the fact that the author includes "Share to Facebook/Twitter" links at the bottom of the blog post is more comical or downright insulting to the reader.
They spend several paragraphs describing all the harm social media causes to themselves and society as a whole, then describe their epiphany and the joy of freeing themselves from its psychological chains, and then ask you to contribute to it. At very least it's extremely insincere.
I feel the same, for the most part. I quit social media during the pandemic early on and didn't even post to say I wouldn't respond anymore. I didn't delete my account, I just deleted the apps and I no longer visit any of the sites. I never blogged about it, and while I'm open about it and have told a few people directly so they would use alternative paths to contact me, it just doesn't seem like a story I need to share widely. I realize the irony in saying that while writing this comment.
Point is, I found that social media was mostly feeding a need I had to be "on display" or "performing" that I used to get in person pre-pandemic by "holding court" in group settings and leading interesting conversations. After making that realization, it caused me to rethink the behavior altogether. I still comment on HN and read HN daily, but this is basically the only site I go on now that's akin to social media. Blogging about quitting social media would have just been me doing this same behavior in another pathway. To a large degree, I feel like that's the "point" of social media. To make us crave attention and to act out specifically to get attention and it's bled into everyday life and in-person interactions.
Point is, I found that social media was mostly feeding a need I had to be "on display" or "performing" that I used to get in person pre-pandemic by "holding court" in group settings and leading interesting conversations. After making that realization, it caused me to rethink the behavior altogether. I still comment on HN and read HN daily, but this is basically the only site I go on now that's akin to social media. Blogging about quitting social media would have just been me doing this same behavior in another pathway. To a large degree, I feel like that's the "point" of social media. To make us crave attention and to act out specifically to get attention and it's bled into everyday life and in-person interactions.
If the point of the attention-seeking is to encourage others to leave the attention-seeking platform, then it belongs in the set of special self-subverting cases.
Same logic applied to Stallman using a proprietary compiler to build a free-software compiler that obviated the need for said proprietary compiler. He really did do that. (Unironically, at that.)
Same logic applied to Stallman using a proprietary compiler to build a free-software compiler that obviated the need for said proprietary compiler. He really did do that. (Unironically, at that.)
Same feeling. Additionally, the author stands he felt used by social media, but you find a properly newsletter subscription at the end of the article. Of course, if you create a writing piece which implied some time to produce, you're looking for something in return.. same than social media. The difference is that usually behind the last ones there is a corporate logic.
I write a blog too, but I do not want people to become addicted to it and spend hours on my site. I do not even want to track them, so Jetpack was uninstalled promptly.
Blogs are like books or newspapers. We can live with books and newspapers, they have been around for centuries. Social media are like fentanyl.
Blogs are like books or newspapers. We can live with books and newspapers, they have been around for centuries. Social media are like fentanyl.
[deleted]
I quit Facebook (2019) and Twitter (2021). My general mood has improved, those platforms really are a cesspool that promotes and rewards the most hateful people and you can't help but get dirty from them and their attacks on anything and anyone they don't like. But I am quite a bit more isolated as an individual. And I noticed that HN serves me as kind of a surrogate.
We are slowly forgetting how to interact in the real world.
We are slowly forgetting how to interact in the real world.
> You are no longer used by social media, you start to use the tool.
This is the key. Either you use technology intentionally or it uses you. You don't have to quit altogether, but it's important that you use it as a tool.
I wrote about this from a different angle - in my view, the problem can be isolated to feeds[0]. They encourage consumption over action, take you in unwanted directions and induce FOMO through overchoice. If you can eliminate them, these services magically become tools rather than escapes.
[0] https://suketk.com/feeds-considered-harmful
This is the key. Either you use technology intentionally or it uses you. You don't have to quit altogether, but it's important that you use it as a tool.
I wrote about this from a different angle - in my view, the problem can be isolated to feeds[0]. They encourage consumption over action, take you in unwanted directions and induce FOMO through overchoice. If you can eliminate them, these services magically become tools rather than escapes.
[0] https://suketk.com/feeds-considered-harmful
Interesting and insightful read. But the Facebook and Twitter share buttons at the bottom were....ironic.
Also, is Hacker News social media?
There is no way to intentionally follow specific users or customize your view of the site depending on who is a part of your personal network. There is no personal network at all. Those seem to me to be the defining features of social media. Hacker News is just a crowd-sourced link aggregator with comments that requires persistent accounts so the links and comments can't be easily spammed.
Of course, so is Reddit, but I personally don't think Reddit should be considered social media, either. You can personalize your content view there, but the personalization is based on content topics, not the following of specific users.
Of course, so is Reddit, but I personally don't think Reddit should be considered social media, either. You can personalize your content view there, but the personalization is based on content topics, not the following of specific users.
Sure is, I'd go one step further, if you can't stand having your karma hidden from you (via self-imposed adblocker rule) then you are still addicted to the social network feedback loop and somewhere making compromise for it.
news.ycombinator.com###me
news.ycombinator.com##td:nth-of-type(3) > .pagetopUser generated content, comments, ratings. 3/3 would say so, yes. :-)
>User generated content, comments, ratings. 3/3 would say so, yes. :-)
That's not great criteria for determining if something's "social media". All those things you listed were part of websites long before social media came along.
That's not great criteria for determining if something's "social media". All those things you listed were part of websites long before social media came along.
My litmus test for what is and is not social media depends on how many people use their real name as handles, and how actively the platform promotes real names. Facebook, nearly 100%, Twitter, less so; reddit and HN, pretty low. Real names transform the old forum/IRC chat room into social media.
No, it's a forum.
I stopped using FB and IG a long time ago. The "likes and followers" appeal didn't apply for me, as I rarely posted.
But I did feel the FOMO and when I closed the app, I would get this feeling that my life is boring, like a web page with the default Wordpress theme. Feeling as if nobody would be interested in clicking around and getting to know anything about me.
Yet, despite abandoning these apps, I am somehow still constantly on my phone (not during work), trying to find something new to distract me from the boredom I feel in the evenings after work. Reddit or Youtube are my biggest addictions.
But I did feel the FOMO and when I closed the app, I would get this feeling that my life is boring, like a web page with the default Wordpress theme. Feeling as if nobody would be interested in clicking around and getting to know anything about me.
Yet, despite abandoning these apps, I am somehow still constantly on my phone (not during work), trying to find something new to distract me from the boredom I feel in the evenings after work. Reddit or Youtube are my biggest addictions.
I feel like these types of posts are only made by the socially inept, who've never managed to make a friend over the internet.
It's almost impossible to promote art and music organically these days without being involved in social media. It's different than traditional sinful addictions in that way...
Product designers don't realize that each user has a different purpose for using social media, and totally different goals, while the basic narrative is that all of social media is dedicated towards selling products and building online celebrity status.
The real problem is that social media sites try to dominate the world without creating sub-communities for specialization, and they have also devalued and underestimated the value of being able to build followers in hopes of a focus on engagement and paid ad revenue. Social sites usually focus on one front page, and one script/method for success on them, and that's a massive failure to the different reasons users use them.
Social sites start out fair, with orderly time lines and visibility of individual accounts, but as year over year profit and user base increases becomes their focus, they grow corrupt and too big to change. They stop developing useful features and turn towards profit.
It's a cycle they repeat until their user base wakes up to the reality of it all and realizes all of their content will be deleted if they quit. It is a cycle of abuse and loss compounded by lost time... More like the year I spent wound up in GTA4 than like drinking Tequila and smoking Newports.
Product designers don't realize that each user has a different purpose for using social media, and totally different goals, while the basic narrative is that all of social media is dedicated towards selling products and building online celebrity status.
The real problem is that social media sites try to dominate the world without creating sub-communities for specialization, and they have also devalued and underestimated the value of being able to build followers in hopes of a focus on engagement and paid ad revenue. Social sites usually focus on one front page, and one script/method for success on them, and that's a massive failure to the different reasons users use them.
Social sites start out fair, with orderly time lines and visibility of individual accounts, but as year over year profit and user base increases becomes their focus, they grow corrupt and too big to change. They stop developing useful features and turn towards profit.
It's a cycle they repeat until their user base wakes up to the reality of it all and realizes all of their content will be deleted if they quit. It is a cycle of abuse and loss compounded by lost time... More like the year I spent wound up in GTA4 than like drinking Tequila and smoking Newports.
Social sites were always on a quest to attract those with the greatest promotional capability, from start to finish. If the sites were about fairness they'd limit everyone/everything to not exceed the average reach.
They should really be called Promotional Networks. Their incentive structure is not set up to advance any intellectual specialisation except through a lens of promotion. Consider the fact that the biggest platforms must go "external" to find fact-checker organisations, it proves my point that no great intellecting is happening within the platform. It's ironic given that fact-checking is itself employed in an act of phoney self-promotion, to not-so-subtly suggest intellectual pursuits must be occurring here, excessively so, since "corrections" are needed.
They should really be called Promotional Networks. Their incentive structure is not set up to advance any intellectual specialisation except through a lens of promotion. Consider the fact that the biggest platforms must go "external" to find fact-checker organisations, it proves my point that no great intellecting is happening within the platform. It's ironic given that fact-checking is itself employed in an act of phoney self-promotion, to not-so-subtly suggest intellectual pursuits must be occurring here, excessively so, since "corrections" are needed.
> Important things – news, events, etc. – that we think we’ll miss will come to you either way. Either a friend will tell you about an upcoming concert or you’ll read it somewhere else.
This is what bugs me about out current state. Sure, I ended my addiction to social media but I often still rely on my friends telling me about events that THEY saw in their feed. I wish business and artists would stop using social media as their primary platform for engagement. Use a website instead, an RSS feed or email.
This is what bugs me about out current state. Sure, I ended my addiction to social media but I often still rely on my friends telling me about events that THEY saw in their feed. I wish business and artists would stop using social media as their primary platform for engagement. Use a website instead, an RSS feed or email.
Maybe this is type of interaction involved.
Formally, I was bit more active on Facebook. I still have an account (for Oculus, mostly) but I've scaled down my presence on Facebook a lot. I found signal to noise ratio not great on Facebook. There's maybe one in fifty or so post that worthwhile to look at.
I'm still fairly active on Twitter and Discord -- mainly because I'm so involved in VR stuff, and that's where a lot of people socialize and coordinate projects. (at least for Japanese people that I deal with a lot.)
Personally, I think this is more of the shift from contextual (WHO I am interacting with) to content based (WHAT I am interacting about), and I find latter more meaningful and productive. Last couple of years on Facebook really didn't provide much of value to my life. There are also bit of junks on Twitter, too, but they are generally short and I can skim things on Twitter and generally it's easy to pick out things that matter the most for me.
This also could be coming from that I'm following a lot more strangers (that share interesting things) on Twitter -- as opposed to subset of people I know on Facebook, too. Facebook I guess allows this to certain degrees ("following" someone without friending) but I don't think this is primary use case on Facebook, making it fairly useless.
Formally, I was bit more active on Facebook. I still have an account (for Oculus, mostly) but I've scaled down my presence on Facebook a lot. I found signal to noise ratio not great on Facebook. There's maybe one in fifty or so post that worthwhile to look at.
I'm still fairly active on Twitter and Discord -- mainly because I'm so involved in VR stuff, and that's where a lot of people socialize and coordinate projects. (at least for Japanese people that I deal with a lot.)
Personally, I think this is more of the shift from contextual (WHO I am interacting with) to content based (WHAT I am interacting about), and I find latter more meaningful and productive. Last couple of years on Facebook really didn't provide much of value to my life. There are also bit of junks on Twitter, too, but they are generally short and I can skim things on Twitter and generally it's easy to pick out things that matter the most for me.
This also could be coming from that I'm following a lot more strangers (that share interesting things) on Twitter -- as opposed to subset of people I know on Facebook, too. Facebook I guess allows this to certain degrees ("following" someone without friending) but I don't think this is primary use case on Facebook, making it fairly useless.
There was a time I used to have fun just building things for myself (rc planes) then it transitioned to this thing where I had to share it (forums). Eventually I would share just concepts/drawings/ideas and not the real thing. I now try to finish something before I even mention it.
There's also a flood of people's ideas/works/projects (Hackaday). I guess having personal goals is nice to pursue/not compare against.
As they say talk is easy
I used to be active on FB and unfortunately I started to post like crazy/cringe things on there, thankfully I became self aware/cleaned up my public trail. Now I avoid it. One main reason is I have over a hundred friend requests of random people (indirect family/acquaintances from 20 yrs ago) trying to get to know me/ask me for money (people from a third world country).
I'm not completely against social media, I use Reddit to look at certain subreddits related to technology, check the news sometimes, and then for brain-dead time, look at meme sites. I have had to stop myself a few times just due to how much time... that's the thing it's captivating/paralyzing the few seconds of media constantly changing (scrolling memes). But on the days when my brain doesn't function anymore, this low effort content is nice to pass the time till I fall asleep/ready to function again.
I want to get back into the groove again, isolate myself, pursue something with time. There's also that sense of being a producer vs. being an audience like the person making the videos on YT vs. the people commenting.
There's also a flood of people's ideas/works/projects (Hackaday). I guess having personal goals is nice to pursue/not compare against.
As they say talk is easy
I used to be active on FB and unfortunately I started to post like crazy/cringe things on there, thankfully I became self aware/cleaned up my public trail. Now I avoid it. One main reason is I have over a hundred friend requests of random people (indirect family/acquaintances from 20 yrs ago) trying to get to know me/ask me for money (people from a third world country).
I'm not completely against social media, I use Reddit to look at certain subreddits related to technology, check the news sometimes, and then for brain-dead time, look at meme sites. I have had to stop myself a few times just due to how much time... that's the thing it's captivating/paralyzing the few seconds of media constantly changing (scrolling memes). But on the days when my brain doesn't function anymore, this low effort content is nice to pass the time till I fall asleep/ready to function again.
I want to get back into the groove again, isolate myself, pursue something with time. There's also that sense of being a producer vs. being an audience like the person making the videos on YT vs. the people commenting.
This post is suspiciously long for someone who seems to charge money to summarise books (reading books being another unworthy use of one’s time on this planet, presumably).
I've never understood this. I think if you have a relationship with social media that elicits a desire to "quit", it's not because social media is terrible, it's because the relationship is bad.
I wonder as well if there's a difference between people who use it to catch up with their real-life friends vs. people who use it to communicate with online friends. I deleted my Facebook account last year simply because I had never used it; most of my friends on there were people I was acquainted with in real life at some point but I have no desire to talk to them. I never used it so I just deleted my account. However, I use Twitter, and I'd never dream of deleting it; most of my interactions on there are between me and friends I initially met online, and social media is one of the main ways we communicate. These are real friends - I've met several of them in person now - but I'd be losing a huge channel of communication with them if I went dark on social media.
Which, when worded like that, almost sounds like they're trapping me on there, but I also have no desire to quit. I've never felt Twitter negatively impacting my life. I go on it daily, I usually have it open in a tab while doing other things on my computer, but I don't spend hours just scrolling, and I don't follow people who say things that will only make my day worse. I don't see it as wasting my time any more than watching TV or doing crossword puzzles, which are also things I spend a reasonable amount of time doing.
The comparison to cigarettes and alcohol is ridiculous in my opinion. I don't buy the premise that social media, by default and for most people, makes your life worse. Maybe I'm just the exception? I have no idea.
I wonder as well if there's a difference between people who use it to catch up with their real-life friends vs. people who use it to communicate with online friends. I deleted my Facebook account last year simply because I had never used it; most of my friends on there were people I was acquainted with in real life at some point but I have no desire to talk to them. I never used it so I just deleted my account. However, I use Twitter, and I'd never dream of deleting it; most of my interactions on there are between me and friends I initially met online, and social media is one of the main ways we communicate. These are real friends - I've met several of them in person now - but I'd be losing a huge channel of communication with them if I went dark on social media.
Which, when worded like that, almost sounds like they're trapping me on there, but I also have no desire to quit. I've never felt Twitter negatively impacting my life. I go on it daily, I usually have it open in a tab while doing other things on my computer, but I don't spend hours just scrolling, and I don't follow people who say things that will only make my day worse. I don't see it as wasting my time any more than watching TV or doing crossword puzzles, which are also things I spend a reasonable amount of time doing.
The comparison to cigarettes and alcohol is ridiculous in my opinion. I don't buy the premise that social media, by default and for most people, makes your life worse. Maybe I'm just the exception? I have no idea.
It sounds like you're basically using Twitter as something like email, which never occurred to me (my friends and I do "group comms" via actual email).
Do other people use Twitter in this way? Maybe you are the exception :)
Do other people use Twitter in this way? Maybe you are the exception :)
The thing that drives me crazy is how hard it is to avoid it. I have plenty of real life friends, a busy career, a family. Still an old friend said "reach out to me on whatsapp". I can't even use the thing without agreeing to import my contacts. Or my Oculus headset-- which I really enjoy-- demands I have an account. Bummer.
If you're not going to go cold-turkey, the best thing you can do is turn off all notifications from apps like facebook and twitter on your phone. Android 9 and 10 provide very good features to block all notifications from any specific app.
You should only see messages and notifications when you specifically choose to open the app.
You should only see messages and notifications when you specifically choose to open the app.
I think there are only three types of modern social media: Facebook, Pinterest, and then virtually everything else. (I don't consider Reddit to be in this conversation because it's a glorified forum, and those have been around since BBSes).
Facebook was conceived and still largely operates as a social network in the community aspect: you are in touch with your friends and family members for the most part. Facebook has of course tried to deviate from this path in the last decade, but that's still strongly what the site is.
Pinterest is probably the least interactive social media platform in terms of communication between people, but it's probably the most useful, even if it's nothing but a collection of bookmarks.
All the other social media platforms are basically centered around groups of people yelling at influencers in a desperate attempt to be noticed. They are giant dopamine sinks.
Facebook was conceived and still largely operates as a social network in the community aspect: you are in touch with your friends and family members for the most part. Facebook has of course tried to deviate from this path in the last decade, but that's still strongly what the site is.
Pinterest is probably the least interactive social media platform in terms of communication between people, but it's probably the most useful, even if it's nothing but a collection of bookmarks.
All the other social media platforms are basically centered around groups of people yelling at influencers in a desperate attempt to be noticed. They are giant dopamine sinks.
I find myself replacing it with other garbage, sadly. Bad brain...
On a similar note, I quit watching the news and reading the newspaper. It doesn't make me happy. It really doesn't make me "informed", it only makes me capable of parroting some soundbites my favorite pundit said. Lastly the news is terribly politicised nowadays and tends to focus only on the bad.
Plenty of research proving the link between anxiety/depression and news consumption. What is there to gain by watching the news anyways...
If I want to find out more about something, i'd rather listen to a long form podcast by a professor, than read something a journalist copypasted. Or maybe read an article here and find comments by so many people from so many different viewpoints and cultural backgrounds.
Plenty of research proving the link between anxiety/depression and news consumption. What is there to gain by watching the news anyways...
If I want to find out more about something, i'd rather listen to a long form podcast by a professor, than read something a journalist copypasted. Or maybe read an article here and find comments by so many people from so many different viewpoints and cultural backgrounds.
Just taking all social media apps off your phone and having a complex password that makes it difficult to sign into their webapps are a huge step. Not having your social media of choice a finger press away helps a lot. It's easier to get off them if you start with that. I did that years ago and replaced my favorite app with the kindle app. I read a lot more (books) now and I don't get the addicted feeling.
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"My life after quitting social media - I post to my private blog and share it to HN. Totally not social nor media" - durmonski
I was able to dodge it. Recently, I was thinking of joining Facebook because of Groups. I don’t have friends and I’m missing to have conversations with similar minded people but I just can’t make myself doing it. The sad things is that probably there are no alternatives. All platforms are almost equally bad.
The closest I came to "social media" was Reddit - I quit it and have never looked back nor missed it.
> instead of refreshing like a lunatic for new information all the time during your day. You simply search for a solution only when you are experiencing a problem.
> You treat social media like any other website online. You visit it only when you need something. You don’t visit it to find something to need.
> You treat social media like any other website online. You visit it only when you need something. You don’t visit it to find something to need.
I did quit Facebook for about 6 months. What made me login after that period of inactivity was to find information on a local forest fire that was threatening my house. It was and is the best source of up to date information for that.
I quit FB and Instagram by making it very difficult to login by changing my password and not saving it.
However I still use Twitter with one useful trick: I make lists of Subjects I care about: COVID research, Real Estate, etc.
I quit all social media outside of forums about 5 years ago. I would say my life is better. I cannot think of one thing I miss from it or one benefit it provided that I would go back for.
Ive quit FB and Twitter, never had IG.
Hacker News and soemtimes Reddit is all I visit.
I did feel better after quitting Twitter, seeing as what an rage fest it was
Hacker News and soemtimes Reddit is all I visit.
I did feel better after quitting Twitter, seeing as what an rage fest it was
I tried to quit clubhouse but couldn’t. We are suffering from loneliness in this world.
What exactly is this Social Media the author is referring to? Does HN fit the definition? Is he only talking about Facebook and Twitter? Is there even an agreed upon definition of Social Media?
> Social media is like cigarettes and alcohol. Toxic. Addictive. Yet widely accessible.
I never thought I would say this...but I have to wonder if cigarettes and alcohol may be healthier options than social media, simply because they usually accompany real social lives?
EDIT: To be clear, any addictive substance is a bad choice. Please entirely disregard this analogy in that sense.
I never thought I would say this...but I have to wonder if cigarettes and alcohol may be healthier options than social media, simply because they usually accompany real social lives?
EDIT: To be clear, any addictive substance is a bad choice. Please entirely disregard this analogy in that sense.
I forget what magazine carried this essay, and it was from maybe about 10 years ago, but a journalist decided to take up smoking (temporarily) at the age of 30-something or 40-something, with the idea of writing a story about it. One of his takeaways was the sociability of it, especially since everyone nowadays is forced to exit the office building to have a smoke.
I was a smoker for many years and the sociability is a huge factor that doesn't get much attention, and is the only thing I miss about it.
The relationships I established with fellow smokers, whether it was at work while stepping out from the office, standing outside a pub, stepping outside on a balcony at a party, etc. were almost always stronger than with my non-smoking friends. You immediately become part of a social circle with people you at least have one thing in common with, and are standing around with a limited number of minutes to chat about almost anything.
I haven't had a cigarette for nearly five years and the thought of lighting one up disgusts me, but I miss the carefree banter during smoke breaks with other smokers.
The relationships I established with fellow smokers, whether it was at work while stepping out from the office, standing outside a pub, stepping outside on a balcony at a party, etc. were almost always stronger than with my non-smoking friends. You immediately become part of a social circle with people you at least have one thing in common with, and are standing around with a limited number of minutes to chat about almost anything.
I haven't had a cigarette for nearly five years and the thought of lighting one up disgusts me, but I miss the carefree banter during smoke breaks with other smokers.
> I was a smoker for many years and the sociability is a huge factor that doesn't get much attention, and is the only thing I miss about it.
The best part about having to go outside for a smoke is you end up standing next to people outside of your normal work hierarchy. You get to have 1v1 conversations with OTHER managers, and people higher than you - whoever at a very casual level. The benefits of this is enourmous. I certainly talked more to our director of IT by smoking than I ever did with my own boss.
The best part about having to go outside for a smoke is you end up standing next to people outside of your normal work hierarchy. You get to have 1v1 conversations with OTHER managers, and people higher than you - whoever at a very casual level. The benefits of this is enourmous. I certainly talked more to our director of IT by smoking than I ever did with my own boss.
I remember this essay as well.
During a period of high stress due to major life changes I was experiencing, I took up smoking. It became a habit. I did experience the social aspect that the essayist described. I found that the best way to meet new friends at anime or gaming conventions is to find out where all the smokers are and hang out there. I've found a few new very good friends this way.
PS: I don't smoke cigarettes anymore.
During a period of high stress due to major life changes I was experiencing, I took up smoking. It became a habit. I did experience the social aspect that the essayist described. I found that the best way to meet new friends at anime or gaming conventions is to find out where all the smokers are and hang out there. I've found a few new very good friends this way.
PS: I don't smoke cigarettes anymore.
I had a smoker friend in college and I'd join him outside. Pretty soon all my friends in the group were those social smokers.
Early in my tech career I realized pretty quickly that, despite not being a smoker, I needed go outside with the smokers during their smoke breaks because that's where a lot of ideas were discussed. It was where I could continue learning from guys who were almost all senior to me at the time in a more relaxed, informal setting.
The smoking was terrible--don't get me wrong--and I'm glad its much more rare now than it was 25 years ago.
The smoking was terrible--don't get me wrong--and I'm glad its much more rare now than it was 25 years ago.
Same here, but I took up smoking outside with them and it put me in the inside group on projects/tasks. I never picked up smoking outside of these little daily excursions and I realize it's playing with fire, but at least for my career it was one of the best things I could have done.
There was a whole Friends episode about this where Rachel starts smoking so she can be privy to the conversations out on the smoke deck at work.
I usually pride myself on my google-fu, but this one has eluded me. I also remember this essay.
Do you remember anything more about the essay that would help me find it? There is so much information and blogspam about their for the {nicotine, addiction, cigarettes, voluntary, chooses, sociability, constraints} results.
Do you remember anything more about the essay that would help me find it? There is so much information and blogspam about their for the {nicotine, addiction, cigarettes, voluntary, chooses, sociability, constraints} results.
I also remember it - I’m pretty sure he was 42?
Some other things:
- might have been the Atlantic
- he talked about etiquette around things like flicking ash and smoking circles
- he talked about asking his doctor about starting smoking
It was definitely an interesting one
Some other things:
- might have been the Atlantic
- he talked about etiquette around things like flicking ash and smoking circles
- he talked about asking his doctor about starting smoking
It was definitely an interesting one
I also remember the article. I think he smoked in an airport and said nearby people overreacted (his words paraphrased) like a woman clutched her child. And maybe the airport security came too?
I really want to read it now. But can’t find it by Google.
I really want to read it now. But can’t find it by Google.
I found it: https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/health/a4263/learning-to-s...
Search terms I used were: starting smoking at 40 cigarettes
It was the sixth google result for me.
Search terms I used were: starting smoking at 40 cigarettes
It was the sixth google result for me.
Thank you! (I'm the OP of this thread.) I'm putting that on my re-read list.
Eh, whom am I kidding. I read it as soon as I clicked to see it.
I'd wager alcohol is healthier (within reason) since it promotes reducing your inhibitions which might open you up to learning since you are more open to new experience and ideas under that influence.
Social media, untamed and untempered, tends to influence in the other direction: piping you into a predefined ideological box—and largely dominated by materialistic influences to boot.
Social media, untamed and untempered, tends to influence in the other direction: piping you into a predefined ideological box—and largely dominated by materialistic influences to boot.
The health experts have deemed cigarettes and alcohol extra unhealthy for covid spread reasons now. Social wellbeing is just not something I would entrust to a sector not very well adjusted to work-life balance and desperate for middle-class admiration.
I also have to wonder if the scientific community even wants to know if cigarettes and alcohol correlate with less covid deaths given their great hex on it. It's interesting to think what level of gain/detriment will bring them to get a mention, let alone advise increased uptake. Imagine a world where they dish out wine & ciggs at the hospital as often as they do other drugs of dependence.
I also have to wonder if the scientific community even wants to know if cigarettes and alcohol correlate with less covid deaths given their great hex on it. It's interesting to think what level of gain/detriment will bring them to get a mention, let alone advise increased uptake. Imagine a world where they dish out wine & ciggs at the hospital as often as they do other drugs of dependence.
You can drink a lot when alone.
^ This.
In a cursory survey [1] of the alcoholics I've known (both recovering/acknowledged and not), for 80% social drinking hasn't been the problem. The problem was what they did when they were alone with a bottle.
[1] Not an SRS, clearly anecdotal and entirely in my head, so all caveats apply, etc.
In a cursory survey [1] of the alcoholics I've known (both recovering/acknowledged and not), for 80% social drinking hasn't been the problem. The problem was what they did when they were alone with a bottle.
[1] Not an SRS, clearly anecdotal and entirely in my head, so all caveats apply, etc.
I bought a time lock safe that only opens Friday and Saturday from 6am to 10am. "Pre-comitting" to not drinking was very helpful for me.
Used to do the same thing with gaming. Encrypted windows and whensend.com the key to me in the future. Can't game on the linux drive.
Used to do the same thing with gaming. Encrypted windows and whensend.com the key to me in the future. Can't game on the linux drive.
I like the comparison, granted it must be different for different people (ie, individual relationships to tobacco/alcohol). Social media repulses me, but with the other two I enjoy but am suspicious of.
I’d rather have someone tell me about the last cigarette they had than the last social media post they wrote.
I’d rather have someone tell me about the last cigarette they had than the last social media post they wrote.
Also, tobacco and alcohol have pretty much the same chemical and social impacts throughout (although there are changes in intensity, for example, ABV in beers have been increasing).
Social media changes its addictive by tailoring it over time for every individual user.
Social media changes its addictive by tailoring it over time for every individual user.
Its like comparing mental health and lung cancer.
No, you're spot on. That's been my conclusion of the past few years, that Facebook, Twitter et al. are the tobacco companies of our time. They act very much the same as the tobacco companies did: misleading their 'customers', and corrupting the politicians who would otherwise regulate them.
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I quit most social media (I'm still here, aren't I?) and I found a lot more peace. I ended up working a lot more, which stressed me out, but I finally identified my lack of work-life balance, and now I'm back to a healthy state. No outrage at irrelevant trivia, no other people's lives being a distraction in mine. If anything I just have too much personal stuff to do now. Life feels a bit more meaningful, healthy. I recommend it.
This discussion reminds of this brilliant quote by Strongbad (back when the internet was still a cool place to hangout):
James, the Internet is a place where absolutely nothing happens. You need to take advantage of that.
James, the Internet is a place where absolutely nothing happens. You need to take advantage of that.
"Perished on commenting under posts about social change or doing something meaningful instead of actually doing something meaningful. "
You know, I think we'd all be better off if everyone took a break from that one for a year or two.
You know, I think we'd all be better off if everyone took a break from that one for a year or two.
> I still haven’t deleted my social media accounts. I still have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. I don’t need to delete them. I don’t feel that I need to delete them. I simply don’t open them because I simply unfollowed everyone there.
You're not really quitting if you still keep all your accounts. It's like stopping drinking but leaving a bottle of whiskey in the cupboard just in case.
You're not really quitting if you still keep all your accounts. It's like stopping drinking but leaving a bottle of whiskey in the cupboard just in case.
The biggest upside is that I'm completely disengaged with a lot of things people are angry about, because they aren't on my radar at all. In practice, I don't find that closely following breaking news is all that useful to me, since I'm not in a position to do anything about it, and it just makes me anxious to worry about things which are out of my control.
Instead, I read longform articles about major events when they get written a few weeks later, and supplement that reading with Wikipedia. This alternative seems to work well enough. If someone wants to talk to me about current events, I just ask them what their opinion is, which is usually what they want to happen anyway.