Homeless for 12 years. This is what my life looks like on a daily basis(youtube.com)
youtube.com
Homeless for 12 years. This is what my life looks like on a daily basis
https://www.youtube.com/@homelessintoronto
7 comments
There is a homelessness crisis here in Toronto, I am documenting it while simultaneously sharing my own life as someone struggling with homelessness and mental illness. I would appreciate any and all suggestions and/recommendations…
My daughter and five year old grandson are homeless near Philadelphia. She refuses help from me. I think she likes being unemployed, and enjoys her situation. Do you think this is possible?
Sorry to hear about it.
Unfortunately this outcome wrt giving/receiving sometimes happens, both in and out of homeless communities.
Sometimes it is reasonably logical. For example if the recipient perceives that receiving the offer reflects well on the giver, and would therefore be an unfair way to paint the situation due to other factors. In such a case the unwillingness to receive is a reverse-judgment on the situation, or the giver, etc. This preserves what they feel is their right to act on an ethical outlook.
They may also see the outreach as a setup for a covert, unjustified condition which the giver is attempting to impose. And sometimes it appears to them that their tacit agreement is being bought, as to "which side" is winning an ongoing argument over worldview & lifestyle.
This is especially common among those who are protesting what they perceive as a voice teaching "the right way" to be a responsible person, etc. If their return message doesn't get across, they may attempt to expose the giving-side to whatever horrifies the giver most--drugs, homelessness, etc.
This is only one possibility though, and even then it's not necessarily a fully conscious decision on the part of the potential recipient.
I've also seen this happen among those leaving high-demand religions, when no homelessness is involved. Sometimes this is also discussed in post-religious communities along with concepts like "love bombing" which is seen as a common form of manipulation.
Giving/receiving across that line in the sand can get totally messed up and must sometimes be mediated in some way by relying on a third party to provide a more objectively acceptable form of care just by not being one of the regular parties to the situation.
Unfortunately this outcome wrt giving/receiving sometimes happens, both in and out of homeless communities.
Sometimes it is reasonably logical. For example if the recipient perceives that receiving the offer reflects well on the giver, and would therefore be an unfair way to paint the situation due to other factors. In such a case the unwillingness to receive is a reverse-judgment on the situation, or the giver, etc. This preserves what they feel is their right to act on an ethical outlook.
They may also see the outreach as a setup for a covert, unjustified condition which the giver is attempting to impose. And sometimes it appears to them that their tacit agreement is being bought, as to "which side" is winning an ongoing argument over worldview & lifestyle.
This is especially common among those who are protesting what they perceive as a voice teaching "the right way" to be a responsible person, etc. If their return message doesn't get across, they may attempt to expose the giving-side to whatever horrifies the giver most--drugs, homelessness, etc.
This is only one possibility though, and even then it's not necessarily a fully conscious decision on the part of the potential recipient.
I've also seen this happen among those leaving high-demand religions, when no homelessness is involved. Sometimes this is also discussed in post-religious communities along with concepts like "love bombing" which is seen as a common form of manipulation.
Giving/receiving across that line in the sand can get totally messed up and must sometimes be mediated in some way by relying on a third party to provide a more objectively acceptable form of care just by not being one of the regular parties to the situation.
This is a very insightful point. That the receiver of a benefit might perceive the giver as benefitting from the situation in a way that the receiver may perceive as unfair…
Difficult to imagine that one would ‘like’ it but some people do choose to be homeless for all sorts of reasons so I wouldn’t be surprised. But I am sympathetic towards those people and believe they should be provided with help and support, while acknowledging their freedom to choose. There is a thing called resource resistance, which I’m wondering if it plays a role in her refusing help from you, but I would need more info about the context to better understand the situation…
What keeps you tied to Toronto, instead of hitch-hiking to a warmer climate? Local friends and family relationships? Staunchly Canadian? Seems overwhelming to travel that far? Worried about legal issues? Prefer cold climates to warm climates? Hope that not too insensitive of a question.
Im over-dependent on the food places here for my daily food. Not enough money. Worried that welfare might be less in terms of money amount somewhere else. Never travelled far so it feels more unknown than my daily life. I prefer warm climates for sure!