Hello kindred soul. I can relate. I have done interviews drunk myself.
I have anxiety peaks at ANY minimally, potentially dangerous situation. If my landlord sends me a message. If my boss says we need to talk. If someone has the slightest negative reaction to anything I said (I have severely low self-steam). Even if I receive mail or email from any place that can be any danger (like about taxes) it triggers my anxiety.
Unfortunately, alcohol is a god-sent medicine to this problem. And because of that, I have drunk at least a bit in probably 90%+ of all the nights in the last 15 years. I have a serious case of alcoholism.
Someone in this thread mentioned that you are probably an alcoholic and I do agree. But you are probably an alcoholic because of your mental disorders. Of course, I can't be sure but I can speak for myself.
I have anxiety peaks at ANY minimally, potentially dangerous situation. If my landlord sends me a message. If my boss says we need to talk. If someone has the slightest negative reaction to anything I said (I have severely low self-steam). Even if I receive mail or email from any place that can be any danger (like about taxes) it triggers my anxiety.
Unfortunately, alcohol is a god-sent medicine to this problem. And because of that, I have drunk at least a bit in probably 90%+ of all the nights in the last 15 years. I have a serious case of alcoholism.
Someone in this thread mentioned that you are probably an alcoholic and I do agree. But you are probably an alcoholic because of your mental disorders. Of course, I can't be sure but I can speak for myself.