I am a native citizen currently watching my first child grow up without me while my wife waits in line for her nearly 2-year-long immigration process. Every attempt to expedite her processing has been denied, even during Typhoons where she loses power and access to hospitals. I feel forgotten, and cast aside by the system - like my family situation is inconsequential and undeserving.
Is there really nothing native citizens like me can do to get our family here outside waiting in a generic line with everyone else in the world?
The users of social media have a LOT of guilt and responsibility that never gets recognized in my opinion. The subtle “I’m hot/smart - sucks to be you” in literally every conceivable topic is so well disguised as being “how everyone else does it” that it goes unnoticed as being vain and narcissistic.
Making video about blue whales? Make sure a quarter of the screen is covered with your filtered, augmented face and better yet your gym body! Making a short about how cute your relationship is? Make sure to make the point somehow in some subtle way that your in the relationship because you physically are more attractive or else it doesn’t “hit” as much. Like be sitting down and then stand up to show you’re tall when the beat drops haha - they get pretty creative and it’s like clockwork.
The subtle nature of it is what’s so damaging to young people in my opinion because its how everyone gets away with being disgusting and vain - it’s actually quite passive aggressive and if you are young you are just absorbing it like someone in an abusive relationship.
Here’s a Tupac song about my friend Ben who, against all odds was able to learn concept design and work for Blizzard Entertainment as a mid level concept artist:
Verse 1:
I'ma tell this story of my friend Ben
He was never meant to be a designer in all money he had to spend
His dream was, loved, but thought to be impossible so it seemed
But all these "Nos" only drove him to scream do or die
Chorus:
Ben had a dream, never let it go
And even when they said no, no, no
He made it happen, sure and slow
He earned his way, against all the odds
My friend Ben, showed the world what he gots
And made it in that industry, never stopped till he went pro
Verse 2:
With no artistic background, no resources at hand
He studied his erases and textbooks and clocked in hours and hours
Finally Ben got himself a portfolio, it was stronger than steel
And he made sure his future was brighter than all the old tales
Chorus:
Ben had a dream, never let it go
And even when they said no, no, no
He made it happen, sure and slow
He earned his way, against all the odds
My friend Ben, showed the world what he gots
And made it in that industry, never stopped till he went pro
Verse 3:
Findin another job would be an easy feat
But Ben kept his dream alive, tryin' to be more than just man of the street
So he stayed focus, kept the faith and stayed true
And it nearly paid off, 'cause that very day he got hired by Blizzard too
Chorus:
Ben had a dream, never let it go
And even when they said no, no, no
He made it happen, sure and slow
He earned his way, against all the odds
My friend Ben, showed the world what he gots
And made it in that industry, never stopped till he went pro
If you are not compatible with hookup “free love” culture neither am I and I totally understand where women like this are coming from. I found my perfect match on a dating site, who just happened to be brought up in/from a province in the Philippines. She is beautiful like a sunset and has the values that are so fleeting and forgotten in our hookup culture. She is exactly what I am compatible with - the embodiment of the values I claim to be important to me - which I must say are very similar if not the same as the author of that blog.
And you know whats crazy.. There are men here too! Crazy thought right? And I mean great men who have the values so many western women claim to be looking for. I’m curious If the idea of dating a good man from a 3rd world country ever crosses the minds of these “struggling” women who have the same means I do?
This is a great question. I have an art degree in Animation and Visual Effects, now I’m about 6 years in as a VFX Pipeline Engineer.
#2 and #3 together are what I credit my success to. Showing authentic passion during interviews is also a hard requirement, as well as having good values that successful hard working people tend to value. For example happily and confidently admitting when you don’t know something. Also having the integrity and self esteem to admire and show open respect for colleagues who know more than me - ESPECIALLY if I notice myself feeling insecure towards the person for whatever reason(like we’re hired at the same with same title but they clearly are ahead of me). So far my 2 most valuable mentors were initially colleagues who made me feel insecure About my skills but, I literally locked my kicking and screaming ego in the closet while proceeding to befriend and become vulnerable with them to the point they adored showing and teaching me stuff. Advice for this insecurity: learn something from these people then directly incorporate it into your work and proudly give them credit for it. Poof, you gain some of what they have that you didn’t and your crying ego in the closet cant say shit now can it hahaha.
Above all else, I give myself credit for always taking interviews even though I knew I was probably out of my league and terrified - because it wasn’t the job I was after but rather the confidence I imagined I could have for the next one. If you can’t be confident and charismatic in interviews then i don’t see how you can het hired anywhere for anything that matters to you.
Is there really nothing native citizens like me can do to get our family here outside waiting in a generic line with everyone else in the world?