If you're a rockstar coder, you should be able to crush something like Triplebyte, skip directly through to talking to founders and find some who will tolerate your scattered personality.
They might not be there in a year, and you might not be there in two months, so at least your time horizons match ;)
Also 'What Color is Your Parachute' is a must-read. As suggested there, you'll get much better feedback if you connect with tons of engineers (not hiring managers). They'll give you a straight take and in many cases suggest other places that are hiring and more of a fit.
Personalities don't change. Focus on turning your weaknesses--short time horizon, ownership mentality, all-over-the-place--into strengths. This means very early startups, consulting/contract work, or possibly launching your own projects. Forget about big companies completely and just try to talk to a few dozen very early startups whose risk profile includes making bets on SWEs.