Software development is and will be a good career choice for the foreseeable future (until software starts writing itself, which is not likely to happen any time soon). Web development is just a facet of it. If you spend time understanding fundamentals of software development you will not have wasted your time.
Two more interesting questions you should be asking yourself are: 1. Do you love writing sofware, and 2. Are you good at it?
If the answer is yes to both then you're on the right track. If not, you could have a problem down the road.
Not sure I agree with your statements that everyone wants programmers that are young and want to change the world. It may be a SF/Valley thing, I don't know. Definitelly not NYC. Companies are desperatelly looking for people who know what they're doing, that have been on many projects. That have shit in production. Those people are hard to find.
I'm in the same age group as you. I've never coded more or better in my life and I don't see that changing any time soon.
Hmm. The problem is that most companies suck no matter what your profession is. The trick is to grow up and grow thicker skin.
One thing software development allows you to do is work remotely from a beach (if that's your cup of tea). That way you don't have to deal with all that office nonsense ;-)
If the answer is yes, then don't give up. Move. Go to NYC or Chicago. Talk to few recruiters and have them help you "polish" your resume so that things you might consider harmful would not be prominent.
I'm always fascinated by people who start in the field and then change their minds. Obviously if you've never liked it then do something else, open a surf shop or taco stand. But as far as programming, for the foreseeable future it will be in high demand.
We used to hire cleaning crew to come weekly but stopped due to not liking random people strutting through our home.
Then we started including our kids in the weekly cleaning. We don't give them money "for nothing" so they see this as a chance to earn some income instead of a chore. Now everyone does their part and noone is feeling like it's a giant deal.
Two more interesting questions you should be asking yourself are: 1. Do you love writing sofware, and 2. Are you good at it?
If the answer is yes to both then you're on the right track. If not, you could have a problem down the road.