First congratulations for reaching where you are! Second, I was exactly where you are from "trap" standpoint and would like to offer couple of things that helped me.
1) Level Up - pick a discipline and practice hard on your free time. Example: It could be becoming a cloud architect (pick aws or azure). There are tons of courses available for free on the company websites/youtube etc... learn theory -> practice -> repeat. Seek a mentor in that career path and keep your progress in check with her/him. There will come a time where you will feel confident to start applying for that position.
(2) Read good code from awesome contributors (open source repositories on Github).
(3) Persist (as you have been) - you had been amazing at switching from your earlier profession to software developer ( kudos to you!). write those good memories and experience and read them everytime you feel low.
(4) Make sure you are physically and mentally fit? Talk to your doctor. Sometime something as simple as proper nutrition / vitamin levels / exercise can do wonders to lift your mood and get you going.
I am no way at the level of being a mentor but reading your story wanted to share my two cents.
1) Level Up - pick a discipline and practice hard on your free time. Example: It could be becoming a cloud architect (pick aws or azure). There are tons of courses available for free on the company websites/youtube etc... learn theory -> practice -> repeat. Seek a mentor in that career path and keep your progress in check with her/him. There will come a time where you will feel confident to start applying for that position.
(2) Read good code from awesome contributors (open source repositories on Github).
(3) Persist (as you have been) - you had been amazing at switching from your earlier profession to software developer ( kudos to you!). write those good memories and experience and read them everytime you feel low.
(4) Make sure you are physically and mentally fit? Talk to your doctor. Sometime something as simple as proper nutrition / vitamin levels / exercise can do wonders to lift your mood and get you going.
I am no way at the level of being a mentor but reading your story wanted to share my two cents.