throwaway84538

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I never said I made an inappropriate comment, I said I hadn't meant to say anything and someone could have construed it as something it wasn't. I apologized because the situation was awkward. Should women who apologize when men are harassing them be automatically considered the guilty party? At what point do I get empathy from you for being put in a situation I clearly did not put myself in. I didn't know this young woman, I hadn't made advances towards her, yet she felt it appropriate to make a very overt sexual advance at me. Yeah I see entirely that I should take responsibility for not immediately having a perfect response to an awkward situation. You've proven the point of every man who doesn't want to mentor with your comments in this thread. Guilty until proven innocent.

throwaway84538

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Lost my job. Found a new one. You're still blaming the person who was sexually harassed for not responding the way you expected them to. There was no real HR in this company. I had a problem with being an awkward communicator. In my own life it was enough to cost me my job. I provided a reason why men aren't willing to risk their careers, and you just didn't like that it actually happens. The fact of the matter is that I should never have been put in that situation in the first place. I didn't ask for the sexual advance, had I been a woman you would be entirely on my side as women shouldn't be responsible for perfect responses to sexual harassment either, and it's easier to fire a male employee and avoid an HR issue or a lawsuit than it is to do due diligence unless you're already a company that approves of a horrible workplace. I think you have a problem with the fact that this actually happened and it doesn't fit your world view.

throwaway84538

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It was a younger workplace where sexual comments were not uncommon from either gender. For the most part, the more attractive you were the better liked you were by your peers. I actually had a pretty fantastic female boss when I was let go who was helping me work on being less socially awkward. She left me a glowing review on my LinkedIn and she was aware of everything that transpired and what was said. People who know me think this is funny, because they know me and how easily mortified I get when I say something I don't intend to. I'm significantly better now, but it's taken a lot of effort on my part. I've never been an overtly sexual person so this was a really odd situation for me to be in. In the end I ended up with a new job in a different place for lots more money.

throwaway84538

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I take responsibility for my actions, but this kind of proves the point of why guys don't want to be around women in the workplace. It doesn't matter what the situation is you're automatically assumed to be a lecherous hump. My comment which was meant as a "what the hell am I supposed to say to that" could easily have been construed differently. Bad behavior? I was mentally exhausted from 12 hours on the phone, locking up for the night, and someone I barely knew starts saying sexually suggestive comments at me and literally shaking her ass as she says it. What exactly do I need to come to terms with? I apologized because whatever I said I hadn't meant to say anything. I'm not saying what I said because it would immediately identify me as it was a really awkward thing to say in any conversation but it wasn't in any way sexually suggestive, i.e. I was not making any references to performing acts on her or requesting any acts from her, nor was I asking her to take it further, I was in no way going to impact her career as I didn't even work directly with her, this was a young woman I had spoken to roughly twice prior in a simple hello in the break room. I was horribly socially awkward back then and it's taken me years to get to the point I am today in social situations, I've worked on it and gotten better and I don't tolerate sexual harassment of women in my workplace, but that's not good enough. You want to know why men stop mentoring? Because one misconstrued comment can literally cost you a job. You're automatically assumed guilty, just like on this comment thread. It kind of sounds like men need to be defensive.

throwaway84538

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Throwaway for obvious reasons. I was let go due to "financial reasons" because a co-worker brought up her ass to me and my confused reply, which I didn't mean to say it loud but being exhausted it slipped part my filter and I mumbled it out loud, was cited as sexual harassment. I immediately apologized either way. She shook her ass at me despite us having no real relationship, me being married, her being 10 years younger than me and her talking about it, but I was sexually harassing her in her eyes. I can say for certain real sexual harrasment happens and I've even put a stop to it in more than one occasion in my management role or at family settings, but I've definitely been falsely accused. I brought up the conversation to my wife the night it happened and she thought it was hilarious because she knows me. Especially back then I was very socially awkward. Something I've worked at for years to get better at. I now work with multiple female coworkers very well, but they are all adults who don't behave like this to me.