What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle(nytimes.com)
nytimes.com
What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/25/jobs/what-i-learned-from-a-stroke-at-26-make-time-to-untangle.html?smid=fb-share
103 comments
For me it was the opposite. The whole time I was overworking I was aware and wishing I wasn't and very much imagining myself doing other things. Now I'm aware and wishing I was back to normal and working.
I spent about 4 years working flat out. If I was awake I was working, trying to keep the income coming after the recession hit. Then something snapped. The now ex-wife had to unwind the things I was part way through.
Since then I can't do anything productive. I spend all the time wasting time with tv, games and online. Or often literally just nothing. If I try and do something productive like finding work again, or even simple like tidying the house I seize up with a mental resistance I find hard to describe. The more effort and willpower, the more the resistance increases. Even if I get started I've dropped out to go back to doing nothing within 10 minutes. Most days start with a resolution and to do list, but end with another day wasted. It's wrecked my career, relationship and social life.
I've been to a few doctors, but I've never gotten anything even a bit helpful.
I spent about 4 years working flat out. If I was awake I was working, trying to keep the income coming after the recession hit. Then something snapped. The now ex-wife had to unwind the things I was part way through.
Since then I can't do anything productive. I spend all the time wasting time with tv, games and online. Or often literally just nothing. If I try and do something productive like finding work again, or even simple like tidying the house I seize up with a mental resistance I find hard to describe. The more effort and willpower, the more the resistance increases. Even if I get started I've dropped out to go back to doing nothing within 10 minutes. Most days start with a resolution and to do list, but end with another day wasted. It's wrecked my career, relationship and social life.
I've been to a few doctors, but I've never gotten anything even a bit helpful.
You do procrastinate. What is happening is that you basically forced yourself to work when you did not want to for so long, your emotional system learned that work is pain, basically.
Think of this like a Paulov conditioning a dog to have an electric shock every time he lights a bulb. At the end the dog avoids the lightbulb at all cost, even when not lighted.
Forcing yourself to do something painful trained your brain and created a trauma with work, as simple as that. Your body wants to help you not letting you work because: 1 work is associated as painful and 2 you can avoid it on the short term, so you avoid it.
A good psychologist can help you easily solve the issue, but probably there are not good ones or are expensive for you on your current situation. A bad one could also damage you btw.
So my advice is for you start learning about psychology yourself and learn how to recover from a traumatic experience using self help info. It is not difficult, basically is facing the traumatic experience but with a good outcome or getting rid of beliefs like "work is painful" that you learned over time. And of course, making work something pleasurable or at least neutral.
Think of this as a curiosity or funny game you play, not like work to do. You could start with "Wake up productive" of Eben Pagan, "The now habit" audiobook and training to remove specific beliefs.
If you are broke you can pirate it. Then pay for it when your life is better.
Forget resolutions and to do list by now. It is making it worse as it is introducing guilt for what you should do, adding more emotional pain.
Start making your life better, independently of your job. Eat well, exercise, enjoy beautiful and cheap places, the best things in life cost nothing...if you are jobless you are lucky and could go to amazing places when people are working, specially in overworked America! Go outside, no inside, and met people.
Start being grateful and enjoying your current situation. It looks crazy but is exactly what you need. Look at it as the opportunity to learn and be a much better person in the future that what you were.
Think of this like a Paulov conditioning a dog to have an electric shock every time he lights a bulb. At the end the dog avoids the lightbulb at all cost, even when not lighted.
Forcing yourself to do something painful trained your brain and created a trauma with work, as simple as that. Your body wants to help you not letting you work because: 1 work is associated as painful and 2 you can avoid it on the short term, so you avoid it.
A good psychologist can help you easily solve the issue, but probably there are not good ones or are expensive for you on your current situation. A bad one could also damage you btw.
So my advice is for you start learning about psychology yourself and learn how to recover from a traumatic experience using self help info. It is not difficult, basically is facing the traumatic experience but with a good outcome or getting rid of beliefs like "work is painful" that you learned over time. And of course, making work something pleasurable or at least neutral.
Think of this as a curiosity or funny game you play, not like work to do. You could start with "Wake up productive" of Eben Pagan, "The now habit" audiobook and training to remove specific beliefs.
If you are broke you can pirate it. Then pay for it when your life is better.
Forget resolutions and to do list by now. It is making it worse as it is introducing guilt for what you should do, adding more emotional pain.
Start making your life better, independently of your job. Eat well, exercise, enjoy beautiful and cheap places, the best things in life cost nothing...if you are jobless you are lucky and could go to amazing places when people are working, specially in overworked America! Go outside, no inside, and met people.
Start being grateful and enjoying your current situation. It looks crazy but is exactly what you need. Look at it as the opportunity to learn and be a much better person in the future that what you were.
Wow. This resonates strongly.
The parts I didn't mention, like for the 4 or 5 years of madness I could see the damage going on at home. We ended up so toxic towards each other, I'd feel guilt for the staff at the business and my partner and kids. No choice was guilt free or win, so the pressure built quickly.
Looking back I wish I'd let the staff go long before I did, and shutter the business far quicker. Walking away and getting a low pressure job for a year would have been better for everyone. Doing what I was doing for the family cost me the relationship. We had a good split, the now ex came back to help when I broke and helped deal with all the outstanding business things. We still talk, though she doesn't understand what's going on with me, but neither do I, and thinks I can snap out of it.
I like your suggestions, the hacker me always wants to understand everything, so it appeals on many levels, and as you guessed medical options are a bit limited now.
Thank you.
With all the responses to my quick comment last night, and writing out my replies I've got a real lift today. I need to make progress from that. Thank you everyone.
The parts I didn't mention, like for the 4 or 5 years of madness I could see the damage going on at home. We ended up so toxic towards each other, I'd feel guilt for the staff at the business and my partner and kids. No choice was guilt free or win, so the pressure built quickly.
Looking back I wish I'd let the staff go long before I did, and shutter the business far quicker. Walking away and getting a low pressure job for a year would have been better for everyone. Doing what I was doing for the family cost me the relationship. We had a good split, the now ex came back to help when I broke and helped deal with all the outstanding business things. We still talk, though she doesn't understand what's going on with me, but neither do I, and thinks I can snap out of it.
I like your suggestions, the hacker me always wants to understand everything, so it appeals on many levels, and as you guessed medical options are a bit limited now.
Thank you.
With all the responses to my quick comment last night, and writing out my replies I've got a real lift today. I need to make progress from that. Thank you everyone.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy is exactly for this kind of problems.
I'm not sure where the original poster is, but here in my country, you can get free therapy by going to the training/university centre.
You get therapy by postgraduate trainees (but very sharp and with everything fresh), and supervised by some of the very best, unaffordable professionals :)
Here's a list in the United States (where I guess the poster lives):
http://www.academyofct.org/lowcost/
pipio21's suggestion of self-directed therapy seems to be validated :) :
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/06/19/depressed-tr...
I'm not sure where the original poster is, but here in my country, you can get free therapy by going to the training/university centre.
You get therapy by postgraduate trainees (but very sharp and with everything fresh), and supervised by some of the very best, unaffordable professionals :)
Here's a list in the United States (where I guess the poster lives):
http://www.academyofct.org/lowcost/
pipio21's suggestion of self-directed therapy seems to be validated :) :
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/06/19/depressed-tr...
You guessed well. :)
Thanks for the links, I wouldn't immediately have thought of universities.
I like pipio21's suggestions as they sit very well with current situation.
Thanks for the links, I wouldn't immediately have thought of universities.
I like pipio21's suggestions as they sit very well with current situation.
Thank you for this. I went through something similar and therapists told me it was simply depression, but this is a better and more thorough explanation by far.
this comment is just beautiful
Good luck, and I hope you resolve things as best they can be resolved.
This certainly sounds like depression. Some people respond well to cognitive behavioural therapy, some people really don't, and other therapies are worth exploring. It can be a long slog, and it can get worse before it gets better. I hope you can seek help, and I hope you can stick with until something works.
If you and your doctor decide that anti-depressants are worth trying, be sure to do a formal review with your doc after 6 weeks. Antidepressants are not meant for long-term use, and alone they won't fix things for you, but they may help you find something that works for you. On that note...
I'd highly recommend exercise. It's a hackneyed recommendation, but who cares. It's also been criticised for lack of significant long-term effects. But that's missing the point. Sometimes you need a healthy short-term fix, and hopefully with enough of them you can boot-strap your way to a longer-term solution. Go running, cycling, swimming, play soccer, take up boxercise, lift heavy weights, whatever works for you. Get up and out, preferably outdoors, preferably with social interaction, definitely getting sweaty and panting heavily. If you can hire a personal trainer, that might help, since you pay them to make sure you Do Not Quit. If you can join a class, even better.
Sounds simplistic, and it is. There's no way anything I can say here could encapsulate the issues you're dealing with, and there are no panaceas. This is a complex problem, no doubt about that. I hope you can find a way out of it.
Good luck!
This certainly sounds like depression. Some people respond well to cognitive behavioural therapy, some people really don't, and other therapies are worth exploring. It can be a long slog, and it can get worse before it gets better. I hope you can seek help, and I hope you can stick with until something works.
If you and your doctor decide that anti-depressants are worth trying, be sure to do a formal review with your doc after 6 weeks. Antidepressants are not meant for long-term use, and alone they won't fix things for you, but they may help you find something that works for you. On that note...
I'd highly recommend exercise. It's a hackneyed recommendation, but who cares. It's also been criticised for lack of significant long-term effects. But that's missing the point. Sometimes you need a healthy short-term fix, and hopefully with enough of them you can boot-strap your way to a longer-term solution. Go running, cycling, swimming, play soccer, take up boxercise, lift heavy weights, whatever works for you. Get up and out, preferably outdoors, preferably with social interaction, definitely getting sweaty and panting heavily. If you can hire a personal trainer, that might help, since you pay them to make sure you Do Not Quit. If you can join a class, even better.
Sounds simplistic, and it is. There's no way anything I can say here could encapsulate the issues you're dealing with, and there are no panaceas. This is a complex problem, no doubt about that. I hope you can find a way out of it.
Good luck!
Thank you for the thoughts. I was on Prozac for some months, and they definitely took the edge off but instead of flunking I'd flunk happily. It masked some of the symptoms but didn't get to the core issue. CBT wasnt suggested and I didn't ask, though I would now.
If I'd had more motivation (that's something that's coming back, to start I could care less about anything) I think the Prozac could have helped me along.
Exercise is a good suggestion, I've dropped out of most, so asking a friend or two to join up for some running and gym is overdue. Gets me out of the house and the self-feeding guilt too.
If I'd had more motivation (that's something that's coming back, to start I could care less about anything) I think the Prozac could have helped me along.
Exercise is a good suggestion, I've dropped out of most, so asking a friend or two to join up for some running and gym is overdue. Gets me out of the house and the self-feeding guilt too.
I went through this; I took an entire year and change off. After a prolonged period of relationship and work stress, I simply had to step away. Any time I tried to do any sort of work, I'd seize, freeze-up, and become filled with an overwhelming sense of dread and hatred. So I did nothing for a very long time. Then, when I tried again, it was as you describe. I eventually got another job, one I enjoy, as money became a problem, and it took a few weeks, but eventually got into the swing of things again. I still struggle sometimes, but I take frequent single days off, and if I find myself dreading again or worrying about my performance, I remind myself that I can simply quit; it's a job, money doesn't have a strong causal relationship with happiness, and my needs are basic. The same goes for relationships. Unless either are giving you what you're putting in, quit. If you can't quit now, plan the exit. My goal now is to not get to where I was.
> overwhelming sense of dread and hatred
This. If I push there's something like a slowdown, like a movie or dream effect, and if I keep on trying I end up feeling tired too.
Thanks for the positive message, it's good to know I can get out the other side.
This. If I push there's something like a slowdown, like a movie or dream effect, and if I keep on trying I end up feeling tired too.
Thanks for the positive message, it's good to know I can get out the other side.
I've been through that; I'm on my way better, but it's slow and I'm not quite yet there.
Few things that helped me:
- SSRI - I couldn't recover from the mental pain I had constantly until I visited a doctor and got put on those medications; it didn't solve my problem, but it lowers the pain to manageable levels
- removing distractions - I unsubscribed from every newsletter I could that I didn't absolutely care about, I uninstalled or muted most of the non-urgent push notifications, etc. Not being pinged every 5 minutes lowered my stress levels and made it a bit easier to focus.
- writing - when I find it hard to go forward, I'll dump my thoughts into a text file, and then I'll keep "talking to myself" in the editor; at some point this turns into a list of "next steps" I need to take, and as I'm starting to go through them, things move forward and I feel better
- acceptance - accepting I have those issues and working with them, rather than obsessing over how broken I am, reduced my stress and makes it easier to focus
- calendar - preallocating time for various tasks I want to do, and committing to doing them without distractions (phone set to silent, mail program closed, etc.) for that period of time, regardless of the end output, again makes it easier to focus, and seeing thing moving forward makes me feel better; I stole that one from the "Deep Work" book
But yeah, I still struggle. There are days when I only honestly say I haven't done anything but read HN and respond to e-mails. But more and more, there are days when I'm productive, and I'm beginning to trust my capacity for doing work again, and this improves my self-esteem as well.
#HNPsychology
Few things that helped me:
- SSRI - I couldn't recover from the mental pain I had constantly until I visited a doctor and got put on those medications; it didn't solve my problem, but it lowers the pain to manageable levels
- removing distractions - I unsubscribed from every newsletter I could that I didn't absolutely care about, I uninstalled or muted most of the non-urgent push notifications, etc. Not being pinged every 5 minutes lowered my stress levels and made it a bit easier to focus.
- writing - when I find it hard to go forward, I'll dump my thoughts into a text file, and then I'll keep "talking to myself" in the editor; at some point this turns into a list of "next steps" I need to take, and as I'm starting to go through them, things move forward and I feel better
- acceptance - accepting I have those issues and working with them, rather than obsessing over how broken I am, reduced my stress and makes it easier to focus
- calendar - preallocating time for various tasks I want to do, and committing to doing them without distractions (phone set to silent, mail program closed, etc.) for that period of time, regardless of the end output, again makes it easier to focus, and seeing thing moving forward makes me feel better; I stole that one from the "Deep Work" book
But yeah, I still struggle. There are days when I only honestly say I haven't done anything but read HN and respond to e-mails. But more and more, there are days when I'm productive, and I'm beginning to trust my capacity for doing work again, and this improves my self-esteem as well.
#HNPsychology
Thank you, and good luck to you!
- SSRI - I was on these for a few months near the start. I think it was the wrong timing, they masked the symptoms but didn't get to the core. My motivation was at an all time low so I flunked happily instead of just flunking. I was dropping everything and becoming a zombie. Now motivation is coming back again I think they or CBT might have helped move things along.
- distractions - I need to work on this more. I've done some, but as I'm starting to wake up a bit, I know I should do more. I need to get at least one space of the home back to cltter free and break the mental clutter too. It's too easy to feel I'm continuing the chaos of the workaholic times.
- writing - I like this. I've been doing something like this last few weeks, just into an editor file, and it's given me enough shape to know I need to be "not here".
- acceptance - Oh I am so bad at this, and rather good at obsessing how broken I am at the end of a day. I had a good head, and find it too easy to remind myself, and how stupid I'm being. Now some motivation is coming back it's probably worse - I was more like a teen with "yeah whatever" to everything six months ago.
Some good points to think on, and work on.
- SSRI - I was on these for a few months near the start. I think it was the wrong timing, they masked the symptoms but didn't get to the core. My motivation was at an all time low so I flunked happily instead of just flunking. I was dropping everything and becoming a zombie. Now motivation is coming back again I think they or CBT might have helped move things along.
- distractions - I need to work on this more. I've done some, but as I'm starting to wake up a bit, I know I should do more. I need to get at least one space of the home back to cltter free and break the mental clutter too. It's too easy to feel I'm continuing the chaos of the workaholic times.
- writing - I like this. I've been doing something like this last few weeks, just into an editor file, and it's given me enough shape to know I need to be "not here".
- acceptance - Oh I am so bad at this, and rather good at obsessing how broken I am at the end of a day. I had a good head, and find it too easy to remind myself, and how stupid I'm being. Now some motivation is coming back it's probably worse - I was more like a teen with "yeah whatever" to everything six months ago.
Some good points to think on, and work on.
That sounds like a mix of two things:
1. The working routine you build up in the elongated crunch period simply isn't compatible with not having a hard deadline or seven. I get this myself after years of burning the candle at both ends and it is taking quite some time to beat it out of myself. The problem is that my work ethic has for years been fuelled by deadline fear, and those short times when the pressure came off a little I enjoyed the opportunity to procrastinate. Somewhere along the line that became normal but flipped: I find it hard to not procrastinate until there is some deadline pressure. This makes starting new personal projects almost impossible (well, not quite, I have ideas and make notes, sometimes even get around to trying a PoC, but staring proper implementation is the difficult point).
2. Common, garden variety, depression. This is seen a lot in circumstances you describe. It can be very difficult to sort due to how much the causes and effects can vary from person to person. Don't expect doctors to be able to help long term as the problem is often not really medical, apart from extreme cases where you might be given something truly mind altering most of what a doctor will prescribe is simply intended to prop you up a bit while you work on the problem. From personal experience of a very bad year or so in my life (over 15 years ago now, heck I'm getting old!): I found talking to a councillor and select friends/family were key.
1. The working routine you build up in the elongated crunch period simply isn't compatible with not having a hard deadline or seven. I get this myself after years of burning the candle at both ends and it is taking quite some time to beat it out of myself. The problem is that my work ethic has for years been fuelled by deadline fear, and those short times when the pressure came off a little I enjoyed the opportunity to procrastinate. Somewhere along the line that became normal but flipped: I find it hard to not procrastinate until there is some deadline pressure. This makes starting new personal projects almost impossible (well, not quite, I have ideas and make notes, sometimes even get around to trying a PoC, but staring proper implementation is the difficult point).
2. Common, garden variety, depression. This is seen a lot in circumstances you describe. It can be very difficult to sort due to how much the causes and effects can vary from person to person. Don't expect doctors to be able to help long term as the problem is often not really medical, apart from extreme cases where you might be given something truly mind altering most of what a doctor will prescribe is simply intended to prop you up a bit while you work on the problem. From personal experience of a very bad year or so in my life (over 15 years ago now, heck I'm getting old!): I found talking to a councillor and select friends/family were key.
I recognise the first very strongly. Somewhere I got to a similar flip and procrastinate everything no matter how simple until it is "house is on fire" urgent.
You're probably right about depression, I was on Prozac a while but while I was still in the down spiral. It seemed to make me a happy flake, mask some symptoms but the downward direction and apathy remained. Now I feel a bit of motivation again I think they might help, or maybe CBT.
I had one brush with depression some years ago, and it felt different, but that was a much cleaner cause and effect. A short spell of SSRIs and I was able to break out quite easily.
Thanks!
You're probably right about depression, I was on Prozac a while but while I was still in the down spiral. It seemed to make me a happy flake, mask some symptoms but the downward direction and apathy remained. Now I feel a bit of motivation again I think they might help, or maybe CBT.
I had one brush with depression some years ago, and it felt different, but that was a much cleaner cause and effect. A short spell of SSRIs and I was able to break out quite easily.
Thanks!
You sound depressed. Have you seen a therapist? If you haven't yet, it would probably be worth a try. Good luck.
I have been in this boat (as far as I can judge from your story--I wouldn't tell anyone "I know how you feel"), in February it'll have been 10 years. Overworked myself during university (which took way longer than it should have, but everyone kept telling me "oh I feel like that sometimes too"--never did I realize they didnt have to deal with it every minute, every day). When the student loan ran out (back then very generous in NL), I got a coding job, two days a week (trying to finish my study, except I was mainly recovering most of the week), after two months something snapped, I couldn't read the code on the screen anymore, scared the shit out of me (been coding since I was 9). Completely broke down.
I have tried so many things (therapy, meds, alternative therapy, physical checkup, coaching). No solutions. Anti-depressants make it more bearable, but they also seem to suck motivation (and have side-effects) so I use them on and off (for longer periods of course otherwise they don't make sense), recently I've been in a bad place so I'm back on again (which works but it's no progress either).
I wish I had some solid advice to give you. Your story is in fact the first time I hear something quite as similar to my experience (cause it's not quite like a burnout, is it?), except I never got myself to work the hours your post suggests you did, instead using--I dunno--intellect to make up for it, which just leads to perfectionism and pushed me over the edge just as well[0]. Except I wasn't aware I was asking too much of myself.
Going to re-read this thread tomorrow, maybe some of the replies have some good advice that I haven't tried yet (or might be worth to re-try). Never stop fighting, life's too amazing, even if you can't live it like all the other people.
Currently I'm doing the best I can, volunteering at several youth-centres, teaching kids as much computer / computational science I have learned, trying to put my education and knowledge to the best use as possible (also, turns out that teaching and working with kids is a passion of mine I never discovered in comp.sci). Even though I only have the energy to do it 12h/wk, I know I'm doing something amazing for these kids who will remember me when they're old. I also realize I'm super lucky to live in the Netherlands, in the US I'd be on the streets (this resonates http://www.iquilezles.org/blog/?p=2659 ), and possibly a dead junkie.
I wish you the best of luck and to somehow some day find happiness. If there's anything you like like to talk about, my email's in my profile.
I have tried so many things (therapy, meds, alternative therapy, physical checkup, coaching). No solutions. Anti-depressants make it more bearable, but they also seem to suck motivation (and have side-effects) so I use them on and off (for longer periods of course otherwise they don't make sense), recently I've been in a bad place so I'm back on again (which works but it's no progress either).
I wish I had some solid advice to give you. Your story is in fact the first time I hear something quite as similar to my experience (cause it's not quite like a burnout, is it?), except I never got myself to work the hours your post suggests you did, instead using--I dunno--intellect to make up for it, which just leads to perfectionism and pushed me over the edge just as well[0]. Except I wasn't aware I was asking too much of myself.
Going to re-read this thread tomorrow, maybe some of the replies have some good advice that I haven't tried yet (or might be worth to re-try). Never stop fighting, life's too amazing, even if you can't live it like all the other people.
Currently I'm doing the best I can, volunteering at several youth-centres, teaching kids as much computer / computational science I have learned, trying to put my education and knowledge to the best use as possible (also, turns out that teaching and working with kids is a passion of mine I never discovered in comp.sci). Even though I only have the energy to do it 12h/wk, I know I'm doing something amazing for these kids who will remember me when they're old. I also realize I'm super lucky to live in the Netherlands, in the US I'd be on the streets (this resonates http://www.iquilezles.org/blog/?p=2659 ), and possibly a dead junkie.
I wish you the best of luck and to somehow some day find happiness. If there's anything you like like to talk about, my email's in my profile.
I've been where you are now. You need to graduate from hacker news to the redpill subreddit my friend
I recommend spending your time on your new interests, instead of trying to force yourself to do what "you should be doing". Spirituality and getting unstuck by wasting 6 months building a fun project for my favorite game helped me out of it.
I recommend spending your time on your new interests, instead of trying to force yourself to do what "you should be doing". Spirituality and getting unstuck by wasting 6 months building a fun project for my favorite game helped me out of it.
>You need to graduate from hacker news to the redpill subreddit my friend
Do you recommend this to solve sexual frustration? Honest question; it seems that's the interest of that subreddit.
Do you recommend this to solve sexual frustration? Honest question; it seems that's the interest of that subreddit.
I've been thinking about this lately and I've concluded that a big driver of overwork is the misguided quest for fulfillment.
Not really fulfillment like we normally call it, I'd say more like acceptance.
Perhaps many of us are seeking love and acceptance from bosses and coworkers, and overworking ourselves to obtain it.
I believe that building your identity on anything that isn't yours is stressful. Building your ego on your job performance or on the positive feedback you get from coworkers isn't healthy.
It's like emotional sharecropping. You are building your ego on someone else's land.
People need to remember that work is the place where they have "human resource" departments, where they will make cut and dried decisions on who to retain and who to lay off the moment they want to adjust a budget.
Not really fulfillment like we normally call it, I'd say more like acceptance.
Perhaps many of us are seeking love and acceptance from bosses and coworkers, and overworking ourselves to obtain it.
I believe that building your identity on anything that isn't yours is stressful. Building your ego on your job performance or on the positive feedback you get from coworkers isn't healthy.
It's like emotional sharecropping. You are building your ego on someone else's land.
People need to remember that work is the place where they have "human resource" departments, where they will make cut and dried decisions on who to retain and who to lay off the moment they want to adjust a budget.
> many of us are seeking love and acceptance
I would go further than that, because I don't think this gets to the heart of the matter. The main driver of overwork is the promise of higher status that certain cultures bestow on those who pursue it [1]. The respect of bosses and the admiration of coworkers are just the consequences. As are the material benefits, like the increased salary and all the things it might buy.
Yet advising overworkers to stop looking to others for positive feedback is not going to work for everyone. A large proportion of people identify as extroverts, people who need validation from others in order to feel good about themselves. And it's unrealistic to expect extroverts to be happy with valuing their self-worth the way introverts do.
[1] Alain de Botton has a great book on this topic entitled Status Anxiety: http://alaindebotton.com/status/
I would go further than that, because I don't think this gets to the heart of the matter. The main driver of overwork is the promise of higher status that certain cultures bestow on those who pursue it [1]. The respect of bosses and the admiration of coworkers are just the consequences. As are the material benefits, like the increased salary and all the things it might buy.
Yet advising overworkers to stop looking to others for positive feedback is not going to work for everyone. A large proportion of people identify as extroverts, people who need validation from others in order to feel good about themselves. And it's unrealistic to expect extroverts to be happy with valuing their self-worth the way introverts do.
[1] Alain de Botton has a great book on this topic entitled Status Anxiety: http://alaindebotton.com/status/
"emotional share-cropping" is a brilliant and moreoever, accurate term.
The writer of the piece, Jonas Koffler, is my co-author for Hustle.
In the book, we address the difference between 'renting your dream' (ie emotional sharecropping) and 'owning your dream' finding your personal meaning, momentum and money.
"I believe that building your identity on anything that isn't yours is stressful."
We couldn't agree more. We also describe how one should diversify their identity/ego into a portfolio of sorts.
https://www.amazon.com/Hustle-Power-Charge-Meaning-Momentum/...
The writer of the piece, Jonas Koffler, is my co-author for Hustle.
In the book, we address the difference between 'renting your dream' (ie emotional sharecropping) and 'owning your dream' finding your personal meaning, momentum and money.
"I believe that building your identity on anything that isn't yours is stressful."
We couldn't agree more. We also describe how one should diversify their identity/ego into a portfolio of sorts.
https://www.amazon.com/Hustle-Power-Charge-Meaning-Momentum/...
> People need to remember that work is the place where they have "human resource" departments, where they will make cut and dried decisions on who to retain and who to lay off the moment they want to adjust a budget.
Or looked at from another angle, this is one of the very reasons people want to be seen to be "going the extra mile" compared to their colleagues (not that I'm disagreeing - the point about seeking acceptance is a very important one).
Or looked at from another angle, this is one of the very reasons people want to be seen to be "going the extra mile" compared to their colleagues (not that I'm disagreeing - the point about seeking acceptance is a very important one).
Not really fulfillment like we normally call it, I'd say more like acceptance.
That's exactly it -- people strive for "fulfillment", but find it to be at best a nebulous goal, ever out of reach. So they settle its poor imitations - acceptance and recognition.
That's exactly it -- people strive for "fulfillment", but find it to be at best a nebulous goal, ever out of reach. So they settle its poor imitations - acceptance and recognition.
> It's like emotional sharecropping. You are building your ego on someone else's land.
Nicely put.
Nicely put.
I'm 28 and have severe hypochondria, so this article was a terrifying read. Having a stroke is my #1 fear. But reading it makes me feel good about having shifted my attitude to work after I got married. I don't think I'll ever be the workaholic that I was in my early 20s, because my priorities have shifted so much after getting married and I've become especially frightened of the idea of stressing myself out to the point of suffering something like a stroke. The last thing I want in my life is to burden my wife with having to take care of a disabled me.
In fact, I don't think it's only work that can lead to bad health issues caused by stress. I have my whole routine designed to have a low stress life. I avoid bringing in anything into my life that might be a major source of stress. I keep everything as simple as possible.
On the symptoms side of things though, I now have to go to the doctor. Again. Reading about the buzzing in the right eye and the tingling was terrifying because I've been feeling something similar for the past few months. So onto my 4th brain scan in the past few years... Sigh. Hypochondria is a bitch.
In fact, I don't think it's only work that can lead to bad health issues caused by stress. I have my whole routine designed to have a low stress life. I avoid bringing in anything into my life that might be a major source of stress. I keep everything as simple as possible.
On the symptoms side of things though, I now have to go to the doctor. Again. Reading about the buzzing in the right eye and the tingling was terrifying because I've been feeling something similar for the past few months. So onto my 4th brain scan in the past few years... Sigh. Hypochondria is a bitch.
I struggled with severe hypochondria for about two years.
I had been feeling tingling/numbness/buzzing all over my body, coming on in waves and lasting anywhere from minutes to over a week at a time. I was ~~worried~~ convinced that it was MS.
My (awesome) doctor told me that it was super unlikely to be something as serious as MS, and that it was most likely my anxiety. I had always avoided medications in the past; even though I knew I had anxiety, I thought I could continue coping with it on my own. I finally took his advice and started taking an SSRI (Paxil) and my very physical symptoms disappeared almost immediately even at the lowest dose, after lingering for months.
Before I started on the medication, I was unable to read the news or search Google about anything health related because the simple mention of any random disease would send me into a near panic attack. Now, I can research any disease in depth and feel zero anxiety.
Oh, and did I mention that prior to being worried about MS, I was convinced that I had some type of heart defect. My doctor at the time was not nearly as good as my current one, and she indulged in my anxiety and we went through the whole battery of tests: EKG, Holter monitor, echocardiogram. Everything came back normal, but my worry just shifted to a new thing.
I guess my experience has led me to two conclusions: treat your anxiety first, and try to find a great doctor.
I had been feeling tingling/numbness/buzzing all over my body, coming on in waves and lasting anywhere from minutes to over a week at a time. I was ~~worried~~ convinced that it was MS.
My (awesome) doctor told me that it was super unlikely to be something as serious as MS, and that it was most likely my anxiety. I had always avoided medications in the past; even though I knew I had anxiety, I thought I could continue coping with it on my own. I finally took his advice and started taking an SSRI (Paxil) and my very physical symptoms disappeared almost immediately even at the lowest dose, after lingering for months.
Before I started on the medication, I was unable to read the news or search Google about anything health related because the simple mention of any random disease would send me into a near panic attack. Now, I can research any disease in depth and feel zero anxiety.
Oh, and did I mention that prior to being worried about MS, I was convinced that I had some type of heart defect. My doctor at the time was not nearly as good as my current one, and she indulged in my anxiety and we went through the whole battery of tests: EKG, Holter monitor, echocardiogram. Everything came back normal, but my worry just shifted to a new thing.
I guess my experience has led me to two conclusions: treat your anxiety first, and try to find a great doctor.
"Funny", after grief, I started to feel tons of problems, but also heart issues (as mentioned in another comment in this thread). Although it was way more than tingling and sensations (pain in fingers arteries, arm veins, heart, all felt like tiny clogging things moving around), I couldn't lift my arms, run or do any sort of efforts, for an ex athlete it was very damaging.
Anyway I also did the same tests as yours. Things looked normal, but I dismissed their tests (a 5min effort test is not enough, you can exhaust yourself in 5 minute, you'd need 15minutes sustained effort to trigger change in heart and vascular regime). After 2 different doctors, I finally accepted the SSRI pill. It did affect my state tremendously for 2 days, mostly brain and lung. Still not good enough on the muscular/stamina side though.
Body is a complex machine.
Anyway I also did the same tests as yours. Things looked normal, but I dismissed their tests (a 5min effort test is not enough, you can exhaust yourself in 5 minute, you'd need 15minutes sustained effort to trigger change in heart and vascular regime). After 2 different doctors, I finally accepted the SSRI pill. It did affect my state tremendously for 2 days, mostly brain and lung. Still not good enough on the muscular/stamina side though.
Body is a complex machine.
> On the symptoms side of things though, I now have to go to the doctor. Again. Reading about the buzzing in the right eye and the tingling was terrifying because I've been feeling something similar for the past few months. So onto my 4th brain scan in the past few years... Sigh. Hypochondria is a bitch.
I really hope you find a way to handle this that doesn't involve very expensive reassurance from doctors. I experience something very similar when I read about heart conditions; I go into a spiral of anxiety where I believe my heart is failing, even though countless doctors have assured me that I'm perfectly fine there. Isn't the human brain just a ton of fun?
I really hope you find a way to handle this that doesn't involve very expensive reassurance from doctors. I experience something very similar when I read about heart conditions; I go into a spiral of anxiety where I believe my heart is failing, even though countless doctors have assured me that I'm perfectly fine there. Isn't the human brain just a ton of fun?
The trick is to accept that we're animals, and that meta-cognition is only a part of the game we're playing. We have to figure out ways to deal with the less expressive and more primitive parts of ourselves that don't respond as well to that "internal voice". Sometimes you just have to count primes and take deep breaths, even if it feels silly.
I try to remind myself of that whenever I am anxious. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Meditation has also had some positive effect, as has CBT.
But man does it feel weird that my brain is aware of its own misbehavior and yet can't master it.
But man does it feel weird that my brain is aware of its own misbehavior and yet can't master it.
It's a humbling experience, especially if (as I'm sure many here are) you're an analytical sort, used to problems being resolved with focus and attention.
Did you try treating anxiety as such?
Yep, been treating my anxiety for the last year and a half or so. I'm doing a lot better, thanks to a combination of medications (propranolol to take the edge off the physical symptoms I experience, and xanax to make panic attacks much less awful). But it's still something that's essentially everpresent -- just being managed.
How many of us here have gotten EKGs for panic attacks we thought were heart-attacks?
I did delay such tests for long, what decided me is very weak pulse in the morning, even after a normal night of sleep, and completely at rest horizontally. I had trouble keep my arms above my chest (felt like they were weighting a ton, same sensation if you try to hold your arms up for a few minutes). Also the fact that I couldn't use my indoor bike for 10 minutes without feeling numbness in many places and tingling that also reminded me of bad blood flow. I had to submit to cardiologists conclusion saying "nothing I can see here". My main problem with this is that, maybe a big panic/anxiety can trigger weak heart, bad blood flow, fat accumulation and small stroke. Which then weaken your heart for longer period, hence the whole fatigue, weak pulse, effort intolerance. Etc. Standard cardiac/blood pressure tests don't look there, and the only way would be high end cardiac or very invasive artery monitoring (angiography, coronarography) ...
You might be better served by seeing a doctor who can help you with your hypochondria, or otherwise seek some means to manage your anxiety. Some means of recognizing thoughts you're having which are excessively rooted in fallacy, obsessive thoughts and the like, not to mention learning how to redirect your attention and calm yourself is a good idea.
After all, the result of that will be that you're under less stress, and less likely to have some kind of cardiovascular event.
After all, the result of that will be that you're under less stress, and less likely to have some kind of cardiovascular event.
Check Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT). It's a form of CBT that has been particularly successful in treating anxiety-related issues.
ACT sounds interesting. This is from an Amazon interview with its creator, Steven Hayes, who's written a book:
We get a lot of training in how to develop and use our minds, but we get very little training in how to step out of the mental chatter when that is needed.... Learning how to get out of your mind and into your life when you need to do that is an essential skill in the modern world.[1]
[1] https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Mind-Into-Life-ebook/dp/B005...
We get a lot of training in how to develop and use our minds, but we get very little training in how to step out of the mental chatter when that is needed.... Learning how to get out of your mind and into your life when you need to do that is an essential skill in the modern world.[1]
[1] https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Mind-Into-Life-ebook/dp/B005...
The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris is another good and very approachable book on ACT.
I was just about the recommend the same. This has done amazing things for me. See the book "Get out of your mind, and into you life".
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> So onto my 4th brain scan in the past few years
You really, really need to talk to a different doctor.
You really, really need to talk to a different doctor.
Same experience in the early 2000s at 28; worked like a maniac in a fast growing company (co founded by myself); we had huge clients and made bucket loads of money (Deloitte fast 50 for years) but we were understaffed as our hiring did not keep up with the growth: I worked 7 days, 8 to 10 and usually more after getting home. I came in one monday went to the toilet when suddenly my arm fell down next to me, I stumbled, remember a crackling sound in my head and not much more after that until many hours later in the hospital. Unlike OP, I had to spend 1 week (esp the first 24 hours as they are crucial) for observation and tests in a special stroke ward. They could not find any cause. I know there is not much proof for the stress having to do much with stroke or high bloodpressure but I am sure that was the cause anyway. I remember that choking feeling of thats stress and pressure. I packed up and moved to Spain with my wife; started working sane hours from home.
To be clear: number of working hours have not much to do with stress levels: I sometimes still work long hours but since I never felt anything like that kind of pressure I had then. And I never will; it was silly and unproductive but as my first big company and successful startup (which gave me financial freedom early on), I did not have many history to fall back on and the advice around me was of a 'do not stress so much' kind of unhelpful level.
It took me years to get over the anxiety of getting another stroke and my speech is still not what it was before; I cannot pronounce some English words correctly even though I know how to and used to be able to. But it does not impair my life or work: people seem to like that Dutch English accent while my previous English was more perfect.
To be clear: number of working hours have not much to do with stress levels: I sometimes still work long hours but since I never felt anything like that kind of pressure I had then. And I never will; it was silly and unproductive but as my first big company and successful startup (which gave me financial freedom early on), I did not have many history to fall back on and the advice around me was of a 'do not stress so much' kind of unhelpful level.
It took me years to get over the anxiety of getting another stroke and my speech is still not what it was before; I cannot pronounce some English words correctly even though I know how to and used to be able to. But it does not impair my life or work: people seem to like that Dutch English accent while my previous English was more perfect.
Could you clarify - did you have a stroke? Your post says you were observed and no cause was found. Do you mean that no cause for the stroke was found? Or no cause for the symptoms?
No cause for the stroke. The symptoms were clearly from a stroke (a black spot on the mri if i remember correctly). A 'youngstroke' for which they had a special team in the hospital.
I gave way too much to more than one job when I was young. As I transitioned into my 30's I began to think very differently about work. It wasn't my #1 priority anymore. By the time I coasted into my 40's I was just looking for somewhere I could become a number and disappear. A good paying Corporate job or contracting.I like environments where a huge bureaucracy exists to slow things down. Ride it out to retirement. It's working out well for me. Don't have a lot of piss and vinegar left. Like to enjoy my family, my cars, travel, quiet times. I can piddle a whole day away just messing around in the garage and it feels so rewarding. I think it is the Spanish who have a saying....."It's nice to relax after a day of doing nothing".
This is what a lot of 25 year olds who say "I can't imagine ever not working, not learning new stuff" don't understand. Of course they can't imagine it. I couldn't either when I was 25. But when you're 50, you can really feel like there are better things to do than work your ass off for someone else's benefit or entertainment.
There's a wide spectrum between GP's "doing the least I can get away with" and your "slaving for the man".
This week I have to be on holiday, so I'll be working on a project I love and "learning new stuff", for nobody else's benefit or entertainment other than my own.
This week I have to be on holiday, so I'll be working on a project I love and "learning new stuff", for nobody else's benefit or entertainment other than my own.
I think it varies by character. My stepfather only really stopped working when he suffered a pretty serious stroke. Prior to that, even when he wasn't employed, he was still working in his home lab, inventing stuff. (He's an electrical engineer, not a super villain or a crank - he wasn't inventing death rays or anti-gravity, but he holds a couple of patents on inventions that have made other people a few million dollars or so. Plus, during one of his "retirements", he worked on the gas chromatograph on the Phoenix lander.)
On the other hand, I'm more likely to fall into Employee Number Whatsit situation - we have a seven month old kid, and there are definitely days when I wish I could just coast along with my red stapler until she turns 18 and moves out of the house, to say nothing of really putting in time to work on projects and hobbies at home.
On the other hand, I'm more likely to fall into Employee Number Whatsit situation - we have a seven month old kid, and there are definitely days when I wish I could just coast along with my red stapler until she turns 18 and moves out of the house, to say nothing of really putting in time to work on projects and hobbies at home.
> I'll be working on a project I love and "learning new stuff", for nobody else's benefit or entertainment other than my own.
Honestly, that might just be a less self-deprecating way of describing "I can piddle a whole day away just messing around in the garage and it feels so rewarding".
Honestly, that might just be a less self-deprecating way of describing "I can piddle a whole day away just messing around in the garage and it feels so rewarding".
I'm in my late 20s, I see my friends chasing high stress jobs working for other people's benefit and honestly don't understand it. Why would I want to be an investment banker working 60 hour weeks when I could build something at my own pace and enjoy it?
I just realized this at 32. I was working 10 to 12 hours a day for the job. Ignoring friends, my health, hobbies, etc. It was fine for a bit since I was doing well at work. But I realized it meant nothing to the managers. I made one mistake and now all that hard work is ignored and the mistake is being dwelt on. I could have enjoyed myself the last few months and still have been in the same spot.
I teach high school. I love working with the kids, but then I look at my 50hrs+/wk (yes, really) and can't help but feel like pushing into business for the pay bump - or find a desk job for the same take home and have my evenings/weekends to myself.
Always greener pastures elsewhere...
Always greener pastures elsewhere...
Well, you get 4 months off during the year (Christmas break + summer). Any other business jobs, you only get 1 month off at most.
Breaks aren't quite as rich as that (nor are they free from work obligations) - but the point stands and is certainly part of the calculation.
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38 here, and while the way I think about work has changed somewhat, the "bureaucracy to slow things down" aspect remains, if anything, more soul-destroying. If I have to spend time at work, I really, really, don't want the feeling it's just a burned offering to the gods of process. Still time for this to change, but I'm starting to doubt it will.
It's sad that the author effectively blames himself for overworking and the resulting stroke. It might be the more socially-acceptable explanation, but there is more to it than that. He wouldn't be clocking 70 hours a week and bearing "self-imposed tortures", while ignoring the symptoms of exhaustion, unless his peers and the wider society rewarded it, as part of a self-destructive feedback loop. And we are all complicit in it, since we keep praising people who successfully "hustled ... up the chain of command", "managed to survive layoffs", and are now "leading development and marketing for a team" after only a few months. Overworking is nothing to celebrate and it shouldn't be a role model for anyone. We shouldn't reward this behavior when we encounter it.
Good cautionary tale. There was also the case of a 21-year-old Bank of America Merrill Lynch intern who was found dead in a shower at his London flat after working for 72 hours in a row: https://www.theguardian.com/business/2013/nov/22/moritz-erha...
Don't let this be you.
Don't let this be you.
What the?
"When I was discharged from the hospital late the next day, the cabdriver asked me, “Where do I take you?” I couldn’t remember the name of my street. I handed him the discharge paperwork with my address on it, arrived home and slept for a long while."
How does someone who just had a stroke get discharged from hospital the next day, to a taxi?
"When I was discharged from the hospital late the next day, the cabdriver asked me, “Where do I take you?” I couldn’t remember the name of my street. I handed him the discharge paperwork with my address on it, arrived home and slept for a long while."
How does someone who just had a stroke get discharged from hospital the next day, to a taxi?
I felt invincible at that age and I did not feel the need to have insurance really; in NL insurance is mandatory but I had the cheapest of the cheapest. After a major event like a stroke, you usually cannot move, ever, from your insurance (at least not 'up'). Also, you cannot get income protection insurance after that, which, of course, now you will see the use of.
I wish I had forked out the cash for international health insurance, the largest package, before I had a stroke, but I did not as I felt nothing would happen to me. Now that I live in another country and I travel a lot, I get bitten by that naivity a lot. I would recommend, if you are healthy and have enough $ to take an international health insurance package as you will never know what happens.
I wish I had forked out the cash for international health insurance, the largest package, before I had a stroke, but I did not as I felt nothing would happen to me. Now that I live in another country and I travel a lot, I get bitten by that naivity a lot. I would recommend, if you are healthy and have enough $ to take an international health insurance package as you will never know what happens.
I found this line particularly shocking.
When my mum suffered a stroke, she was hospitalised for 7 months and had a team of occupational/speech/physiotherapists around here helping her recover as much as possible (which wasn't much, to be fair).
But socialised medicine is evil, and the NHS death panels could've taken her.
When my mum suffered a stroke, she was hospitalised for 7 months and had a team of occupational/speech/physiotherapists around here helping her recover as much as possible (which wasn't much, to be fair).
But socialised medicine is evil, and the NHS death panels could've taken her.
Not all strokes are equal. For a minor ischemic stroke it's normal to be discharged after three days or so. There isn't any reason to stay longer, really, since they'll treat it with medication.
Your mother probably had a hemorrhagic stroke, which is much more serious. She probably had surgery, too?
I'm not really sure why he was discharged the next day, but it might not be unreasonable depending on the exact diagnosis. Or maybe he refused to stay - some people do that.
Your mother probably had a hemorrhagic stroke, which is much more serious. She probably had surgery, too?
I'm not really sure why he was discharged the next day, but it might not be unreasonable depending on the exact diagnosis. Or maybe he refused to stay - some people do that.
Exactly my thoughts. I've heard of a week or less stay discharged to family, but not throwing someone in a cab the _day after a stroke_.
Welcome to America.
So many people need to have something like this personally slap them in the face before they realize how bad the healthcare system is in the US. Maybe some can learn from this instead.
Well isnt the alternative is to stay in the hospital longer and increase the costs? Granted I have no idea what the conversation or recommendations from the medical staff were.
Don't know the status with the author, but my general experience is that the better the insurance you have, the longer they will keep you. If you are self pay and they can't milk you for money, then they'll get you out of there pretty quick.
Actually, if you get hospitalized in America you are assigned a Social Worker who makes sure you will be OK at home and helps make arrangements if necessary.
Has this happened to you?
Yes, to my mother. The social workers ask any family members to step outside the room so they can speak to the patient (to check if there's abuse/mistreatment at home). They also check that you have all necessary equipment (wheelchair/shower chair/a way to go up and down in a multi-story home). They check if there are any assistance programs you can apply to.
Not having the life insurance to cover a long term stay?
I think you're confusing life and medical insurance.
Yes indeed. Dunno why i typed that.
Related info:
Compared to people with the lowest psychological scores, those with highest scores were:
86 percent more likely to have a stroke or TIA for high depressive symptoms.
59 percent more likely to have a stroke or TIA for the highest chronic stress scores.
More than twice as likely to have a stroke or TIA for the highest hostility scores.
http://newsroom.heart.org/news/high-stress-hostility-depress...
Compared to people with the lowest psychological scores, those with highest scores were:
86 percent more likely to have a stroke or TIA for high depressive symptoms.
59 percent more likely to have a stroke or TIA for the highest chronic stress scores.
More than twice as likely to have a stroke or TIA for the highest hostility scores.
http://newsroom.heart.org/news/high-stress-hostility-depress...
Yep, although:
"One thing we didn’t assess is coping strategies...it’s possible that positive coping strategies could ameliorate some of these associations or effects... We did not inquire about coping. I would say that’s one of the tasks for future studies."
"One thing we didn’t assess is coping strategies...it’s possible that positive coping strategies could ameliorate some of these associations or effects... We did not inquire about coping. I would say that’s one of the tasks for future studies."
Don't make time to untangle. Stay untangled. Live your life. Enjoy it. Have fun. If you have any time left after that, then may be do some of that inconsequential stuff like earning money or achievements. These are nice, if you enjoy doing them, but are not important. Unlike what you've been brainwashed to believe, your life does not depend on those things. Your well-being does not depend on those things. The well-being of your family and children does not depend on those things. It's the other way around.
Have you actually passed two days without any money in your pocket?
Yes, I have passed many more than two days without any money in my pocket. As any human being, I've had my highs and lows. I've decided that I like the highs better and money is quite handy in that regard. What I'm saying is - it tends to come to you easier once you stop freaking out about it. As do all things. Struggle is always counterproductive and it is never worth sacrificing your health for money.
Right, thank you very much for your answer. You are probably right.
Many people in this thread lamenting overworking in their youth. Maybe I've been lucky but at 22 I'm very happy with my decent 9-5 type employments. I've never felt the ambition necessary to sacrifice my free time for work—I'm satisfied with what I have.
Many people seem to work solely to earn income. I feel like this is a common work arrangement.
Others work to make income and intellectually and emotionally satisfy themselves. Perhaps you're in this camp? If so, I'm with you on that one.
Granted at some point of income, a certain amount of income without personal fulfillment is preferable to me due to the delayed gratification possibilities.
Others work to make income and intellectually and emotionally satisfy themselves. Perhaps you're in this camp? If so, I'm with you on that one.
Granted at some point of income, a certain amount of income without personal fulfillment is preferable to me due to the delayed gratification possibilities.
"Being so young, I had not even considered that having a stroke was a possibility. But I have since learned that they are on the rise among younger people."
Uh oh. Does anybody keep stats for YC companies?
Uh oh. Does anybody keep stats for YC companies?
A stroke related to overwork may be eligible for workmens' compensation.[1] Call a lawyer. Lots of lawyers take such cases on contingency; the victim doesn't pay anything unless they win.
[1] http://www.rehmlaw.com/Workers-Compensation/Workers-Compensa...
[1] http://www.rehmlaw.com/Workers-Compensation/Workers-Compensa...
Works on contingency? No, money down!
>My doctor did not directly link my stroke to overwork, but said it could have been aggravated by stress, overexertion and exhaustion.
Could he put it any more directly?
Could he put it any more directly?
I had an accident that led to cardiovascular / brain issues that reminded me of this, although less critical at first, but lingering. Since I do not need to be hospitalized, I could reflect on it, and it was like knowing how it felt to be handicaped, suffering debilitating diseases or even what old age could feel. It sheds a strong light on the life of others and yours, how fragile health can be. That said it's also sad how impossible it is to know this beforehand (if you're between child and old, many doctors will just handwave over some symptoms).
It's not complicated to understand. If you work hard, you need rest. Your body, if you don't derange her with stimulant drinks and cocaine, she will tell you, "I need to rest!" So just listen! It's not that hard. Just listen to your grandma instead of being a techno nerd who drinks red bull until he is deranged with permanently lowered IQ from sleep deprivation and a weird disease. If you work hard, you need a rest.
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dsfyu404ed(3)
This article is crazy.
It took an old friend's suicide to jolt me out of it. I saw a lot of my old buddies at the funeral and started reestablishing those friendships. We played a lot of video games. Xbox Live probably saved my life. The worst thing about overwork is that it becomes difficult to imagine yourself doing anything else when you're in the thick of it, like it doesn't even occur to you that you should be spending your time elsewhere; I wonder if any of you have experienced this. Thankfully, even something as inconsequential as Halo was enough to help me rearrange my priorities.