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Here's the Ten Commandments translated into "Dr. Seuss"
I am the Lord, your God, it’s true! No other gods will do for you.
Don't use My name in ways that are bad, That makes the Lord quite wishy-sad.
Keep My day holy, a day for some rest, Of all of the days, it’s simply the best!
Love your father and mother, too, In everything that you say and you do.
Don't hurt a person, don't kill or don't strike, That isn't the sort of thing anyone would like!
Be true to your spouse, don't wander away, Keep your heart faithful every single day.
Don't take what's not yours, not a pin or a shoe, Stealing is something that you shouldn't do!
Don't tell any lies or say things not true, About all the neighbors who live near to you.
Don't want your neighbor's wife for your own, Leave her with him, and leave them alone!
Don't wish for his stuff, his house or his toys, Be happy with yours, you girls and you boys!
... and into Maoist Standard English:
I am the People's servant, the vanguard of the masses. You shall serve no reactionary idols before the collective will.
You shall not exploit the name of the Revolution for personal gain or vanity.
Remember to uphold the discipline of the struggle and the collective labor of the masses.
Honor the revolutionary elders and the proletarian family.
You shall not murder your class brothers, but wage relentless struggle against the enemies of the people.
You shall not engage in decadent bourgeois morality or betray the revolutionary partnership.
You shall not expropriate the collective property of the people.
You shall not spread counter-revolutionary rumors or bear false witness against your comrades.
You shall not harbor individualist desires for the companions of your comrades.
You shall not covet the resources of the collective or seek private accumulation.
... and into Donald Trump:
I am the Lord your God, and let me tell you, nobody does it better. You’re not going to have any other gods, believe me, just Me.
Don’t use the name of the Lord your God in vain. It’s disrespectful, it’s a disaster, don’t do it.
Remember the Lord’s day. Keep it holy. We love the Lord’s day, don’t we? It’s very special.
Honor your father and your mother. Great people, very important. You have to show respect.
Thou shall not kill. We want law and order, we want safety. No killing.
No adultery. You’ve got to stay loyal, you’ve got to be smart.
Thou shall not steal. We don’t like thieves. We’re going to stop the stealing, it’s terrible.
Don’t bear false witness against your neighbor. No lying, no fake news. We want the truth.
Don’t covet your neighbor’s wife. Not good. Stay focused on your own life.
And don’t covet your neighbor’s goods. Their house, their boat—don’t worry about it. We’re going to have our own things, and they’re going to be much bigger and better.
I am the Lord, your God, it’s true! No other gods will do for you.
Don't use My name in ways that are bad, That makes the Lord quite wishy-sad.
Keep My day holy, a day for some rest, Of all of the days, it’s simply the best!
Love your father and mother, too, In everything that you say and you do.
Don't hurt a person, don't kill or don't strike, That isn't the sort of thing anyone would like!
Be true to your spouse, don't wander away, Keep your heart faithful every single day.
Don't take what's not yours, not a pin or a shoe, Stealing is something that you shouldn't do!
Don't tell any lies or say things not true, About all the neighbors who live near to you.
Don't want your neighbor's wife for your own, Leave her with him, and leave them alone!
Don't wish for his stuff, his house or his toys, Be happy with yours, you girls and you boys!
... and into Maoist Standard English:
I am the People's servant, the vanguard of the masses. You shall serve no reactionary idols before the collective will.
You shall not exploit the name of the Revolution for personal gain or vanity.
Remember to uphold the discipline of the struggle and the collective labor of the masses.
Honor the revolutionary elders and the proletarian family.
You shall not murder your class brothers, but wage relentless struggle against the enemies of the people.
You shall not engage in decadent bourgeois morality or betray the revolutionary partnership.
You shall not expropriate the collective property of the people.
You shall not spread counter-revolutionary rumors or bear false witness against your comrades.
You shall not harbor individualist desires for the companions of your comrades.
You shall not covet the resources of the collective or seek private accumulation.
... and into Donald Trump:
I am the Lord your God, and let me tell you, nobody does it better. You’re not going to have any other gods, believe me, just Me.
Don’t use the name of the Lord your God in vain. It’s disrespectful, it’s a disaster, don’t do it.
Remember the Lord’s day. Keep it holy. We love the Lord’s day, don’t we? It’s very special.
Honor your father and your mother. Great people, very important. You have to show respect.
Thou shall not kill. We want law and order, we want safety. No killing.
No adultery. You’ve got to stay loyal, you’ve got to be smart.
Thou shall not steal. We don’t like thieves. We’re going to stop the stealing, it’s terrible.
Don’t bear false witness against your neighbor. No lying, no fake news. We want the truth.
Don’t covet your neighbor’s wife. Not good. Stay focused on your own life.
And don’t covet your neighbor’s goods. Their house, their boat—don’t worry about it. We’re going to have our own things, and they’re going to be much bigger and better.
[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=47408703