Burnout and Mental Health(stephaniehurlburt.com)
stephaniehurlburt.com
Burnout and Mental Health
http://stephaniehurlburt.com/blog/2016/6/27/burnout-and-mental-health
117 comments
I suppose we all have stories to tell and advices/tips to share; I too have gone through intense burnout, and initially it was just too hard to deal with.
Eventually, it turned out what really worked for me (it also worked with some friends who tried this) is to just do something else for a change.
Work on small, contained projects - maybe on unrelated problem domains, and consider changing your habits and do more things for fun, but whatever it is you do, don't try to 'force' yourself to do it. Working out at the gym work wonders. Getting some good night's sleep also helps.
I would also snap out of it after a few days. This never failed me, but I realize that it may not work for everyone.
Eventually, it turned out what really worked for me (it also worked with some friends who tried this) is to just do something else for a change.
Work on small, contained projects - maybe on unrelated problem domains, and consider changing your habits and do more things for fun, but whatever it is you do, don't try to 'force' yourself to do it. Working out at the gym work wonders. Getting some good night's sleep also helps.
I would also snap out of it after a few days. This never failed me, but I realize that it may not work for everyone.
Here's another sucky thing that can happen - you unconsciously adjust and adapt to the conditions that cause burnout and end up accepting them as "the way it is / life." It happens slowly and without notice. There is no "rock bottom" so you're never forced to confront the situation head on. It's like death by a thousand paper cuts.
Holy crap.
This article made me realize that I don't remember hardly anything of the time I spent working at one of my startup jobs. Bits and pieces of specific events stand out, but not a lot. The last six months I was working there I worked at least 60 hours a week, and it crept up to 80 hours a few times. The hours let up after I was hospitalized for a day because of all the stress. I didn't do much else besides sleep and go to work. Maybe that's why, it just blended together.
And I have a crappy memory in general, so I don't know how much of it is because of that. Anything more than a few years ago is kind of hazy.
But still, it's almost like that year and some change might as well have not existed, other than to put a few lines on my resume. But there are much easier ways to do that.
This article made me realize that I don't remember hardly anything of the time I spent working at one of my startup jobs. Bits and pieces of specific events stand out, but not a lot. The last six months I was working there I worked at least 60 hours a week, and it crept up to 80 hours a few times. The hours let up after I was hospitalized for a day because of all the stress. I didn't do much else besides sleep and go to work. Maybe that's why, it just blended together.
And I have a crappy memory in general, so I don't know how much of it is because of that. Anything more than a few years ago is kind of hazy.
But still, it's almost like that year and some change might as well have not existed, other than to put a few lines on my resume. But there are much easier ways to do that.
One of the best things I've ever done for myself: quit my job.
Stating this not to brag but to make my point: 8 months ago I was clearing north of $140k plus options at a top tech co (plus all the usual perks/full benefits) at age 23. The path was probably open for a management position and easily over 200K per year by age 30.
I hated it. The work was agonizingly mundane. The environment was intellectually letheragic (a tremendous irony given the pedigree of my coworkers). I was pulling long hours to write code that I knew had little real value. And everywhere I looked I saw constraints and barriers to doing something meaningful. Eventually it got to the point where I started having a lot of anxiety and even moodiness and feeings of hopelessness.
I felt like what I was forcing myself to become was suffocating the person I wanted to be, deep down. So I asked myself, honestly, if the money was worth trading off so much of my life. My answer was 'no'. However, I think I might be an outlier in that regard. A lot of other people place a high value on experiences, socializing, buying nice things, etc. There are only three things I can ever remember giving me genuine contentment: building complex things, learning (reading, programming, lectures), and hanging with a handful of very good friends. Turns out working a job was diametrically opposed to my main priorities in life. And the weird thing is I'd known that for a very long time before having a decisive 'epiphany' about it. I'd been running from that truth because it was so contradictory, relative to what society tells us we should do and value. This line of reasoning was essential in clearing the final mental hurdle between myself and the decision to pursue entrepreneurship. I had to reconcile myself with having less in the immediate term and the likelihood of long-run financial consequences in taking a break from working in the industry. I acknowledge that this isn't possible for everyone. Some people have dependents, mortgages, and other obligations. But if you can somehow make the numbers work and don't find the luxuries of a six figure salary as compelling as the opportunities you trade away, then you owe it to yourself to stop and think about it.
As for what happens on the other side: freedom is a beautiful thing. I'm now convinced there's 'one easy trick' to becoming a 10x engineer and that's quitting your job. You learn out of necessity when you have few resources and no fallbacks. It also seems obvious now in hindsight that the surest way to realize your full potential is to work on your own terms building something you care about. I get to see friends more often than I have in years and I'm working with two of my best friends on a startup. I've also been exercising consistently and eating better. But by far the most energizing change in my lifestyle has been my improved sleeping habits. Imagine a world in which you don't have to set an alarm clock and always get enough sleep - that's what you get to do when you work on your own terms. I can't be sure about this but I feel like I might actually be improving in mental acuity as well, which I would attribute to getting more sleep and the compounding effects of expanding my skillset (full stack engineering, PM, marketing). I think the phenomenon of interdisciplinary study leading to improved cognition is fairly well-studued and I'm now realizing that entrepreneurship is at least a good approximation of that. I furthermore spend several hours per day in flow because there are no meetings, emails or other interruptions.
All this adds up to a lifestyle that's so dramatically superior to where I was before that I have absolutely no intention of going back, if I can avoid it. Sorry for the poorly-constructed stream of consciousness. I intend to write a blog post on the subject at some point, but wanted to get this down here in case it helps anyone trying to make a decision. If you're going through burnout and feel like your personal narrative resembles mine, I hope you'll take some time to consider quitting to work on something that gives you purpose and that might have value to others. Regardless, I'll end with the handful of things I needed to keep hearing back when I was burning out: there IS an other side and you WILL get there. It's okay if you have to quit because the safety net for software engineers is incredible and your health is comparatively fragile. By far the most important thing for you to do is let the good people in your life be there to help you get through this.
Stating this not to brag but to make my point: 8 months ago I was clearing north of $140k plus options at a top tech co (plus all the usual perks/full benefits) at age 23. The path was probably open for a management position and easily over 200K per year by age 30.
I hated it. The work was agonizingly mundane. The environment was intellectually letheragic (a tremendous irony given the pedigree of my coworkers). I was pulling long hours to write code that I knew had little real value. And everywhere I looked I saw constraints and barriers to doing something meaningful. Eventually it got to the point where I started having a lot of anxiety and even moodiness and feeings of hopelessness.
I felt like what I was forcing myself to become was suffocating the person I wanted to be, deep down. So I asked myself, honestly, if the money was worth trading off so much of my life. My answer was 'no'. However, I think I might be an outlier in that regard. A lot of other people place a high value on experiences, socializing, buying nice things, etc. There are only three things I can ever remember giving me genuine contentment: building complex things, learning (reading, programming, lectures), and hanging with a handful of very good friends. Turns out working a job was diametrically opposed to my main priorities in life. And the weird thing is I'd known that for a very long time before having a decisive 'epiphany' about it. I'd been running from that truth because it was so contradictory, relative to what society tells us we should do and value. This line of reasoning was essential in clearing the final mental hurdle between myself and the decision to pursue entrepreneurship. I had to reconcile myself with having less in the immediate term and the likelihood of long-run financial consequences in taking a break from working in the industry. I acknowledge that this isn't possible for everyone. Some people have dependents, mortgages, and other obligations. But if you can somehow make the numbers work and don't find the luxuries of a six figure salary as compelling as the opportunities you trade away, then you owe it to yourself to stop and think about it.
As for what happens on the other side: freedom is a beautiful thing. I'm now convinced there's 'one easy trick' to becoming a 10x engineer and that's quitting your job. You learn out of necessity when you have few resources and no fallbacks. It also seems obvious now in hindsight that the surest way to realize your full potential is to work on your own terms building something you care about. I get to see friends more often than I have in years and I'm working with two of my best friends on a startup. I've also been exercising consistently and eating better. But by far the most energizing change in my lifestyle has been my improved sleeping habits. Imagine a world in which you don't have to set an alarm clock and always get enough sleep - that's what you get to do when you work on your own terms. I can't be sure about this but I feel like I might actually be improving in mental acuity as well, which I would attribute to getting more sleep and the compounding effects of expanding my skillset (full stack engineering, PM, marketing). I think the phenomenon of interdisciplinary study leading to improved cognition is fairly well-studued and I'm now realizing that entrepreneurship is at least a good approximation of that. I furthermore spend several hours per day in flow because there are no meetings, emails or other interruptions.
All this adds up to a lifestyle that's so dramatically superior to where I was before that I have absolutely no intention of going back, if I can avoid it. Sorry for the poorly-constructed stream of consciousness. I intend to write a blog post on the subject at some point, but wanted to get this down here in case it helps anyone trying to make a decision. If you're going through burnout and feel like your personal narrative resembles mine, I hope you'll take some time to consider quitting to work on something that gives you purpose and that might have value to others. Regardless, I'll end with the handful of things I needed to keep hearing back when I was burning out: there IS an other side and you WILL get there. It's okay if you have to quit because the safety net for software engineers is incredible and your health is comparatively fragile. By far the most important thing for you to do is let the good people in your life be there to help you get through this.
"I'm now convinced there's 'one easy trick' to becoming a 10x engineer and that's quitting your job. You learn out of necessity when you have few resources and no fallbacks. It also seems obvious now in hindsight that the surest way to realize your full potential is to work on your own terms building something you care about."
I couldn't agree more. I see a lot of engineers in startups that claim to have X years of experience, but when you read their code, it more like 1*X years of experience. They never progressed passed the 1 year point because they were doing the same things again and again. Most of the time it was not the correct way either but because they have repeated the same process so many times, its the only ways they knew and naturally accepted it as is.
The best programmers I have seen are always those that worked on their own project with very limited resources. You are force to learn and do things out of the box this way. It's definitely a slow learning process but for me, just thinking back on how much I have learnt (and be able to utilize my knowledge correctly) in the last year is mind boggling.
I couldn't agree more. I see a lot of engineers in startups that claim to have X years of experience, but when you read their code, it more like 1*X years of experience. They never progressed passed the 1 year point because they were doing the same things again and again. Most of the time it was not the correct way either but because they have repeated the same process so many times, its the only ways they knew and naturally accepted it as is.
The best programmers I have seen are always those that worked on their own project with very limited resources. You are force to learn and do things out of the box this way. It's definitely a slow learning process but for me, just thinking back on how much I have learnt (and be able to utilize my knowledge correctly) in the last year is mind boggling.
I am pretty much in the same boat as you were at your job. I wish I could quit straight up but financially it wouldn't be responsible. Been searching for a job since February but my shitty technical interview skills and lack of experience keep getting me rejected. Lol I am literally willing to "code" HTML at this point.
BTW 140k at 23?? Jeez I am the same age as you and I am getting payed just below 100k and I work in SF.
BTW 140k at 23?? Jeez I am the same age as you and I am getting payed just below 100k and I work in SF.
Keep at it and don't give up! My guess is you're trying to interview at better companies that have difficult hiring processes and that's great. You improve at interviewing as you go along. Make sure you study/practice as many hours per day as you can manage.
I got lucky with that comp package since I had been an intern the previous summer and they wanted me back - gave me a lot of room to negotiate.
I got lucky with that comp package since I had been an intern the previous summer and they wanted me back - gave me a lot of room to negotiate.
>I realize I don't need to have caffeine to work.
Impressive. Once I said to my coworker that I'm not drinking a coffee because I can't sleep at night. She replied she drinks coffee because she can't stay awake in the daytimes without coffee.
Impressive. Once I said to my coworker that I'm not drinking a coffee because I can't sleep at night. She replied she drinks coffee because she can't stay awake in the daytimes without coffee.
Note for others: had to click "text only version" to read
This is exactly what I am going through right now. It's been 5 months and I don't have any recollection of my first month.
I'm in the middle of a high profile project which goes to UAT in two weeks, and I know it is slated to fail. There's just too many issues.
I have been working 85+ hours every week constantly for the past ~5 months. Being an Immigrant ( H1B) makes it more difficult. All I do these days is code for 15+ hours everyday with an impending weight hanging over my head constantly that I'll be made a scapegoat if the project fails.
I've started to lookout for opportunities, and since it's September, the number of companies offering jobs in my domain are _very_ less.
What did you do when things like these happened?
I'm in the middle of a high profile project which goes to UAT in two weeks, and I know it is slated to fail. There's just too many issues.
I have been working 85+ hours every week constantly for the past ~5 months. Being an Immigrant ( H1B) makes it more difficult. All I do these days is code for 15+ hours everyday with an impending weight hanging over my head constantly that I'll be made a scapegoat if the project fails.
I've started to lookout for opportunities, and since it's September, the number of companies offering jobs in my domain are _very_ less.
What did you do when things like these happened?
> All I do these days is code for 15+ hours everyday with an impending weight hanging over my head constantly that I'll be made a scapegoat if the project fails.
This is a legitimate question, not a criticism: why do you think that you, specifically, will be the scapegoat?
Is it possible that you can find a way to not work 15 hours straight? Since you know that the project will crash and burn anyway, this effort will be meaningless. Trying to carry the weight of a doomed project by yourself is not a good idea.
Now, if the project is a high-profile one, expect that some management cuts will happen. In some companies, but not all, this also means "pruning" all the reporting tree. Is the company big enough that you could move to another division, or whatever they call it? If so, you should focus on that.
The ship is sinking and all you have is a bucket. Start sending signal flares.
This is a legitimate question, not a criticism: why do you think that you, specifically, will be the scapegoat?
Is it possible that you can find a way to not work 15 hours straight? Since you know that the project will crash and burn anyway, this effort will be meaningless. Trying to carry the weight of a doomed project by yourself is not a good idea.
Now, if the project is a high-profile one, expect that some management cuts will happen. In some companies, but not all, this also means "pruning" all the reporting tree. Is the company big enough that you could move to another division, or whatever they call it? If so, you should focus on that.
The ship is sinking and all you have is a bucket. Start sending signal flares.
> This is a legitimate question, not a criticism: why do you think that you, specifically, will be the scapegoat?
Because I am the lead developer on this project and the manager of this project was always unavailable to escalations / concerns. In the end I just think he'd wipe his hands off and say he was never involved in this project ( though he is supposed to be working 50% on this project)
Because I am the lead developer on this project and the manager of this project was always unavailable to escalations / concerns. In the end I just think he'd wipe his hands off and say he was never involved in this project ( though he is supposed to be working 50% on this project)
Sounds like a great scapegoat to me! Hope you have all those email threads stored :)
If not -> start producing them.
If not -> start producing them.
Oh yes please build a paper trail. This should be your no.1 job starting now.
Doesn't matter what the actual outcome will be, the paper trail is your only defense.
Doesn't matter what the actual outcome will be, the paper trail is your only defense.
It's worth emphasizing... the paper trail must show you're doing everything you can to warn the company that this project is currently on track to fail, and (as much as you can illuminate it) what the costs to the company will be.
Back up your reasoning as clearly and simply as you can.
From the perspective of your employers: because they're paying your salary (and others as well, including half your boss' salary dedicated to this), for a failed end result -- firing you as the scapegoat doesn't leave them with nothing, it leaves them with far less than nothing; all of that time and salary lost, plus the costs of replacing you (whether because they've fired you, or because they've burned you out entirely). Plus costs to reputation, which harms client relationships and hiring both.
Being able to say "I told you so" later doesn't really help anyone; but if you can suggest a better path (drastically reducing scope, extending or segmenting the delivery timeline, or even canceling the project), then you should be able to get someone to listen.
If your boss really grasps where things are going (and that this isn't just "the usual developer griping"), then he'll get credit as well for saving the situation, and you both benefit.
Back up your reasoning as clearly and simply as you can.
From the perspective of your employers: because they're paying your salary (and others as well, including half your boss' salary dedicated to this), for a failed end result -- firing you as the scapegoat doesn't leave them with nothing, it leaves them with far less than nothing; all of that time and salary lost, plus the costs of replacing you (whether because they've fired you, or because they've burned you out entirely). Plus costs to reputation, which harms client relationships and hiring both.
Being able to say "I told you so" later doesn't really help anyone; but if you can suggest a better path (drastically reducing scope, extending or segmenting the delivery timeline, or even canceling the project), then you should be able to get someone to listen.
If your boss really grasps where things are going (and that this isn't just "the usual developer griping"), then he'll get credit as well for saving the situation, and you both benefit.
Walk away. I waited too long and lost a year of my life. It took 4 years to get back on track.
>Walk away
H1B folks can't easily do that. One reason why companies love hiring them.
H1B folks can't easily do that. One reason why companies love hiring them.
I think this is actually something more people need to be aware of. When I found out a good friend of mine was in this position, a lot of my opinions about immigration and foreign workers changed. To me it is of a similar spirit to the condition of Bangladeshsi workers we hear about from time to time.
You can always walk away. Always. It's just a matter of the consequences being worth it or not. That's up to each individual.
As Jack Sparrow said: "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."
At least H1B's are transferable. I'm on an O1, which is technically non transferable.
As Jack Sparrow said: "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."
At least H1B's are transferable. I'm on an O1, which is technically non transferable.
H1Bs, especially those from poorer countries, are often more able to walk away. They just can't walk away and stay in the US. Being able to return to a place with a lower cost of living means you need less money in the bank to feel comfortable turning in your notice.
The world is getting smaller and more companies are realizing that remote workforces are possible. The network of people you build is far more important for finding a job than your location. Coming to the US can be an excellent way to break in and establish that network. But once you've done that, it's not necessary to stay here.
The world is getting smaller and more companies are realizing that remote workforces are possible. The network of people you build is far more important for finding a job than your location. Coming to the US can be an excellent way to break in and establish that network. But once you've done that, it's not necessary to stay here.
Take a 2 week vacation. I really really doubt you'll get fired for that. If it is such a deal breaker, tell your boss you need 2 weeks, and be okay to go down to 1 week. With the weekend on either side, that is plenty of time to destress. Even if the project is going crazy at the moment, bring this up now so you have relief a month or two away. This also has the benefit of giving you something to look forward to for that time. H1B should not be slavery.
They can't do it easily. But they still can. It maybe not be easy and straightforward, but they can.
L1, on the other hand...
L1, on the other hand...
The more I see in this industry, the more I realize that the key to avoiding burnout is being able to spot these death march projects from a distance and avoid them.
Some people have a sixth sense for this; you will see them transfer to different departments or companies before anything seems wrong. Other less ethical people will see the writing on the wall too late to transfer and will maneuver someone else to take the fall. It sounds like they picked you, I'm sorry. Being H1B just makes you an easier target. My advice would be to take any other job you can get.
Some people have a sixth sense for this; you will see them transfer to different departments or companies before anything seems wrong. Other less ethical people will see the writing on the wall too late to transfer and will maneuver someone else to take the fall. It sounds like they picked you, I'm sorry. Being H1B just makes you an easier target. My advice would be to take any other job you can get.
> that I'll be made a scapegoat if the project fails.
Not trying to be rude here, but what is the worst outcome here? What does being made a scapegoat actually mean? Will you be fired? Deported? Or just... have people at work making you feel worse than you already do? Honest question - not trying to trivialize your situation at all.
Not trying to be rude here, but what is the worst outcome here? What does being made a scapegoat actually mean? Will you be fired? Deported? Or just... have people at work making you feel worse than you already do? Honest question - not trying to trivialize your situation at all.
I'm thinking I'll be fired, and then because staying in US without an employer even for a day is illegal, I'll be forced to go back.
Can you enroll in a community college or graduate degree program and switch to a student visa, refresh your skills, and find a new sponsor?
Not much you can do. It sounds like a terminal diagnoses. So take the hit and keep on rolling.
I think this has more to do with how we operate at high speed. I delegate my memory to list apps and simple text notes. Since I did not have to store the information for any length of time in my head it's hard to recall that information later. Same break down as note taking in high level college courses. If you never read the notes it's like you never heard the lecture.
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This article strikes home with me...I've not told this story publicly before:
I've burnt out twice, it ain't pretty and once you've experienced burnout it opens doors in your brain that are difficult and time consuming to close again. So you're best off making sure those doors remain closed by taking care of yourself :)
For the first five or so years of my software company I worked like a dog on meth. It wasn't smart working, it was sheer brute force and ignorance that got the business off the ground. Come Christmas every year I would be a shell of myself. Christmas was the only time I really stepped back from work, and I inevitably got ill most years as my body recovered from the sustained beating I'd given it that year.
My first burn out was 2011. The recession had kicked in, clients were going away or shrinking their spend with us in droves. To compound matters my personal finances were intricately linked to the businesses success or failure due to the personal guarantees I'd signed on loans and the office space. I started to suffer panic attacks and general anxiety. I tried to self medicate both positively (exercise) and negatively (drugs), but ultimately hit the deck hard.
The noise in my brain caused by the anxiety and stress had my brain at 100% CPU all the time, leaving nothing for work or, well, anything. It took about three months before I could go back to work in any normal sense of the word.
Fast forward to last year (2015) around Christmas time. Another very busy year but this time business is brisk and so I was rolling around in our moderate successes. Again, December came, and I hit the deck. This time I had a wicked health scare to boot. It took about four to five months, so slightly longer, to recover from this one.
Fool me once and all that. I've now restructured the business so that it's almost impossible for me to work myself to death. I appointed a managing director to take care of the day to day stuff that was burning me out, leaving me to focus on strategy and leadership - the things I'm good at.
It's ironic that I called my business Atlas - Clever Software because he's the Greek God condemned to hold up the sky for eternity. I condemned myself to holding the heavy weight of a very complex and difficult to scale business. I'm very lucky to not have long term physical or mental issues as a result of the stress I needlessly endured. I know other founders who are not so lucky.
It's due to this backstory of mine that I have an deep dislike of the 'hustle' culture. It's alright to bust your backside to get a business off of the ground, but at all times you owe it to yourself and those who love you to put your health and wellbeing first. You've got one body but there's millions of business/work opportunities out there that you don't have to kill yourself to make a success of.
I've burnt out twice, it ain't pretty and once you've experienced burnout it opens doors in your brain that are difficult and time consuming to close again. So you're best off making sure those doors remain closed by taking care of yourself :)
For the first five or so years of my software company I worked like a dog on meth. It wasn't smart working, it was sheer brute force and ignorance that got the business off the ground. Come Christmas every year I would be a shell of myself. Christmas was the only time I really stepped back from work, and I inevitably got ill most years as my body recovered from the sustained beating I'd given it that year.
My first burn out was 2011. The recession had kicked in, clients were going away or shrinking their spend with us in droves. To compound matters my personal finances were intricately linked to the businesses success or failure due to the personal guarantees I'd signed on loans and the office space. I started to suffer panic attacks and general anxiety. I tried to self medicate both positively (exercise) and negatively (drugs), but ultimately hit the deck hard.
The noise in my brain caused by the anxiety and stress had my brain at 100% CPU all the time, leaving nothing for work or, well, anything. It took about three months before I could go back to work in any normal sense of the word.
Fast forward to last year (2015) around Christmas time. Another very busy year but this time business is brisk and so I was rolling around in our moderate successes. Again, December came, and I hit the deck. This time I had a wicked health scare to boot. It took about four to five months, so slightly longer, to recover from this one.
Fool me once and all that. I've now restructured the business so that it's almost impossible for me to work myself to death. I appointed a managing director to take care of the day to day stuff that was burning me out, leaving me to focus on strategy and leadership - the things I'm good at.
It's ironic that I called my business Atlas - Clever Software because he's the Greek God condemned to hold up the sky for eternity. I condemned myself to holding the heavy weight of a very complex and difficult to scale business. I'm very lucky to not have long term physical or mental issues as a result of the stress I needlessly endured. I know other founders who are not so lucky.
It's due to this backstory of mine that I have an deep dislike of the 'hustle' culture. It's alright to bust your backside to get a business off of the ground, but at all times you owe it to yourself and those who love you to put your health and wellbeing first. You've got one body but there's millions of business/work opportunities out there that you don't have to kill yourself to make a success of.
Having seen people close to me experience this, I feel for you.
However, I haven't heard any success stories that have made it any OTHER way. It's usually in looking back, that people say burn out was wrong and I probably shouldn't have done it that way. What's the alternative?
> success stories that have made it any OTHER way
It often hinges on what you count as success. If you want to grow something to a place where you can appoint a managing director to take over your least comfortable responsibilities, you'll often need to work yourself into burnout or burn through a ton of capital.
But plenty of people set up little lifestyle businesses or contract shops without all that. You just have to be able to see opportunities for growth and go "nah, not for me".
It often hinges on what you count as success. If you want to grow something to a place where you can appoint a managing director to take over your least comfortable responsibilities, you'll often need to work yourself into burnout or burn through a ton of capital.
But plenty of people set up little lifestyle businesses or contract shops without all that. You just have to be able to see opportunities for growth and go "nah, not for me".
> It often hinges on what you count as success.
Agreed. However, even in a lifestyle business, I have a hard time imagining not working like crazy to get it off the ground. I've tried starting a couple (obviously doing something wrong since I didn't succeed), but that's the way I felt I needed to work.
Agreed. However, even in a lifestyle business, I have a hard time imagining not working like crazy to get it off the ground. I've tried starting a couple (obviously doing something wrong since I didn't succeed), but that's the way I felt I needed to work.
Basecamp? IIRC DHH mentioned he was working like 10 hours a week on it.
Is there a link for this? Would love to read about it.
Something that I've been learning lately is that balance is vital to survival.
I'm a student, and I had a burnout a couple months ago. Thankfully, I was able to learn important things about myself, namely certain limits of mine (and I was studying limits at the time for calc class). I was far behind and yet I was struggling everyday to grasp the material. I ended up having to drop two out of three classes and managed to save the one I didn't drop.
I had been ignoring other parts of my life, like social interaction, and with my thoughts always running I eventually developed delusions(I have mental disabilities also). Since then I've put away social media and have been making time to go outside and around people to try to make connections, as well as yard work (can be therapeutic).
Now I see imbalances in my life more clearly than before. So, like a problem solver, I'll see what I can do about it. :)
I'm a student, and I had a burnout a couple months ago. Thankfully, I was able to learn important things about myself, namely certain limits of mine (and I was studying limits at the time for calc class). I was far behind and yet I was struggling everyday to grasp the material. I ended up having to drop two out of three classes and managed to save the one I didn't drop.
I had been ignoring other parts of my life, like social interaction, and with my thoughts always running I eventually developed delusions(I have mental disabilities also). Since then I've put away social media and have been making time to go outside and around people to try to make connections, as well as yard work (can be therapeutic).
Now I see imbalances in my life more clearly than before. So, like a problem solver, I'll see what I can do about it. :)
For someone with no responsibilities except work, 70 hour weeks are sustainable (did it for 3 years, not to be recommended, but no burnout.) People report way larger numbers of hours though and probably have to handle more than just their work; I don't know where things start to break down, they ought to somewhere.
I think you need an additional component: no other desires except work. Many of us don't have jobs that fully satisfy (or let's be honest, even barely satisfy, since even 50% satisfaction would be nice and tolerable at some places) our minds, and once the thought patterns of "I can't wait for the day to be over so that I can X" start, they're hard to stop. Then you kind of need monk-like discipline to continually deny yourself your greater desires over the timespan of years if you don't want to go crazy / suffer burnout.
> For someone with no responsibilities except work, 70 hour weeks are sustainable (did it for 3 years, not to be recommended, but no burnout.)
Folks in the military do 84-hour work weeks when deployed (twelve on/twelve off — and really, with 30-60 minutes of handover time factored in it works out to 91-98 hours/week), and are deployed for up to a year. It's brutal, but it is sustainable. Having no other responsibilities to think of probably helps; I've no idea how distracting modern communications technology is to folks with families.
Folks in the military do 84-hour work weeks when deployed (twelve on/twelve off — and really, with 30-60 minutes of handover time factored in it works out to 91-98 hours/week), and are deployed for up to a year. It's brutal, but it is sustainable. Having no other responsibilities to think of probably helps; I've no idea how distracting modern communications technology is to folks with families.
Some people thrive in that sort of an environment.
I'd sure as hell would never want to work with them.
I'd sure as hell would never want to work with them.
"no responsibilities except work"
I assume this also means the responsibility to keep one's health in check is sacrificed for additional workload?
I can't imagine keeping up an exercise routine working that many hours.
I assume this also means the responsibility to keep one's health in check is sacrificed for additional workload?
I can't imagine keeping up an exercise routine working that many hours.
If you assume a 7 day work week, it's less crazy from an hours-in-the-day perspective, but more crazy from a no-recover-time perspective. I kind of assume the hours a week number is somewhat inclusive of non-specific work items. It may include a lunch where you are on the computer but not specifically working, such as watching a few short videos, and time spent on HN and other social/information resources, which may be somewhat relaxing.
Not everyone means the same thing when they say something like "15 hour work day". That said, I think short busts of non work specific activity without changing your surrounding is no substitute for changing your surroundings and context enough to switch gears for a while. A trip to the local coffee house with coworkers where you still discuss work is a poor substitute for an extra 15-30 minutes at the end of the day where get out and do something entirely different.
Not everyone means the same thing when they say something like "15 hour work day". That said, I think short busts of non work specific activity without changing your surrounding is no substitute for changing your surroundings and context enough to switch gears for a while. A trip to the local coffee house with coworkers where you still discuss work is a poor substitute for an extra 15-30 minutes at the end of the day where get out and do something entirely different.
I don't think it's that crazy, it's five 12 hour days and then 10 hours over the weekend. It's a lot of work, but without kids and other responsibilities it's doable. 70 hours of working is usually only 40-50 of real programming / hardcore thinking, there's always internet surfing, lunch, chit chat, etc. mingled in.
From my own experience I think it's ultimately unhealthy to justify working long hours with "internet surfing, lunch, chit chat, etc. mingled in." While it's easy to rationalize staying late thinking "yeah, but I took a long lunch, chatted with so-and-so, ..." at the end of the day you have that much less downtime away from work. I find I am much happier when I can keep those distractions to a minimum, then force myself to go home. I get more done outside of work and sleep better, resulting in being more focused and productive when I am at work. Allowing work and the rest of my life to blend together both makes me less productive at work and results in having less time for everything else.
It's sustainable from the perspective of not dropping dead.
But what happens to your health? How can you exercise and eat healthily? Go for a run on your only day / half day off?
Your future self will be angry at your past self when it sees what you've done.
But what happens to your health? How can you exercise and eat healthily? Go for a run on your only day / half day off?
Your future self will be angry at your past self when it sees what you've done.
This sounds like the past 10 years of my life. I can't even enjoy normal life activities anymore... And I can't afford to take a long enough break to recover (if that's still possible?).
I don't even care about memories anymore - I'm in survival mode; I'm just a bullet moving towards its target.
It's like I've been running through a tunnel as fast possible for a long time and I can finally just see the light at the end of it, but I know there's a train coming in my direction and if I don't make it out of the tunnel in time it's going to get really dark and ugly.
I don't even care about memories anymore - I'm in survival mode; I'm just a bullet moving towards its target.
It's like I've been running through a tunnel as fast possible for a long time and I can finally just see the light at the end of it, but I know there's a train coming in my direction and if I don't make it out of the tunnel in time it's going to get really dark and ugly.
This is actually one of the symptoms of anxiety -- it makes you over-estimate the consequences of stopping.
You need to choose to take time, push through the initial panic rush that will come from it, then come out the other side.
You need to choose to take time, push through the initial panic rush that will come from it, then come out the other side.
Can you talk more about this? Do you have any resources on dealing with this? OPs description hits a bit too close to home.
One of the most common frameworks to thinking about anxiety is CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy). Basically there are both things that you’re doing and things that you’re thinking that trap you in a cycle of anxiety.
The symptom tsunamifury talked about is what we call Catastrophizing – that is you over-estimate / over-value negative consequences over positive or neutral ones. It’s not just “If I stop working or slow down, I might not make as much money,” it is instead, “If I even take time to slow down, all my peers will be better than me or I might miss that one opportunity that’s going to make or break my career and then my professional life will be over and I might as well spend my time making software for businesses in the middle of Oklahoma.”
What I’d try and get patients to do is to rationally evaluate the evidence that any or all of these might happen. Is one missed connection really going to make or break your career? Is one failed pitch? Do you know of any founders/devs who failed big and recovered? What makes you think you couldn’t do the same.
If you want to know more, here are some good places to start – mix of websites and articles. (Apologies in advance for the potato quality on some of these links – I’m slowly dragging my field into the 21st century.) I’d also recommend going to see a therapist – even if it’s just for a few sessions. It might be helpful to get an outside viewpoint on your current situation.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201212/cogn... http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/step1.htm http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3263389/ http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/anxiety-treatment.aspx
(Source: Me, I'm a psychologist who's done therapy with clients and now makes mobile apps. I tried to make this as HN-oriented as possible)
The symptom tsunamifury talked about is what we call Catastrophizing – that is you over-estimate / over-value negative consequences over positive or neutral ones. It’s not just “If I stop working or slow down, I might not make as much money,” it is instead, “If I even take time to slow down, all my peers will be better than me or I might miss that one opportunity that’s going to make or break my career and then my professional life will be over and I might as well spend my time making software for businesses in the middle of Oklahoma.”
What I’d try and get patients to do is to rationally evaluate the evidence that any or all of these might happen. Is one missed connection really going to make or break your career? Is one failed pitch? Do you know of any founders/devs who failed big and recovered? What makes you think you couldn’t do the same.
If you want to know more, here are some good places to start – mix of websites and articles. (Apologies in advance for the potato quality on some of these links – I’m slowly dragging my field into the 21st century.) I’d also recommend going to see a therapist – even if it’s just for a few sessions. It might be helpful to get an outside viewpoint on your current situation.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201212/cogn... http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/step1.htm http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3263389/ http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/anxiety-treatment.aspx
(Source: Me, I'm a psychologist who's done therapy with clients and now makes mobile apps. I tried to make this as HN-oriented as possible)
Thanks! Should I look for a particular type of therapist?
I'm not a medical professional but a fellow sufferer, so you should probably take this all with a grain of salt. It's more than likely you'll see a psychologist who will administer cognitive behavioural therapy; essentially the rational examination of your thinking as described above. Although specific treatment modalities somewhat depend on the nature and severity of your anxiety disorder.
If your anxiety is more 'phobic' in nature (i.e. it spikes when you're exposed to specific stimuli) , a therapist might inter-weave elements of 'gradual exposure therapy' in as well. For instance, if you have severe arachnophobia, you might start off standing on the other side of the room to a large spider in a glass cage. Then you might stand half-way across the room. Then next to the glass. Then touching the glass etc. But CBT is the workhorse of modern psychotherapy, and can be quite effective for anxiety suffers.I'd also suggest steering well clear of any therapists that use psychoanalysis/psychoanalytic theory in their practice. It's arguably a non-falsifiable pseudo-science.
Unless your anxiety is so acute that you can't function on any normal level (like the time I didn't leave my house for about 2-3 weeks), I'd hold off on medication and try your non-chemical options first. To be clear, I'm not one of those people who thinks that 'unnatural drugs are bad maaannnnn', and have in fact been prescribed (and taken) meds at various times. In certain circumstances, for certain people, they are the only option and they can be a god send for some. But in my experience the pharmacological options for anxiety are are pretty poor. There are really only two mainstream choices: anti-depressants like SSRIs/SNRIs, which are rarely effective for anxiety and take 6-8 weeks to have any effect. So you end up on a very long-term course of trial and error.
The other pharmacological option has traditionally been benzodiazapines (valium, kloponin etc.). Again, unless your illness is extremely acute, I very strongly urge you to never go down this path. They're very physically and psychologically addictive in the medium to long-term (sudden withdrawal can even result in in grand-mal seizures), and you will experience 'rebound' anxiety when you stop taking them.
Lastly, although not a cure, a few lifestyle changes can vastly improve your quality of life while you're seeking out profession treatment. The big three are exercise, regular sleep and mindfulness meditation. It's difficult to start at first, but if you can make even 1 or 2 or those a regular habit you will see an improvement in your life.
Anyhow, I really wish you all the best. Anxiety sucks, but fortunately there's a growing number of ways to make it suck less.
If your anxiety is more 'phobic' in nature (i.e. it spikes when you're exposed to specific stimuli) , a therapist might inter-weave elements of 'gradual exposure therapy' in as well. For instance, if you have severe arachnophobia, you might start off standing on the other side of the room to a large spider in a glass cage. Then you might stand half-way across the room. Then next to the glass. Then touching the glass etc. But CBT is the workhorse of modern psychotherapy, and can be quite effective for anxiety suffers.I'd also suggest steering well clear of any therapists that use psychoanalysis/psychoanalytic theory in their practice. It's arguably a non-falsifiable pseudo-science.
Unless your anxiety is so acute that you can't function on any normal level (like the time I didn't leave my house for about 2-3 weeks), I'd hold off on medication and try your non-chemical options first. To be clear, I'm not one of those people who thinks that 'unnatural drugs are bad maaannnnn', and have in fact been prescribed (and taken) meds at various times. In certain circumstances, for certain people, they are the only option and they can be a god send for some. But in my experience the pharmacological options for anxiety are are pretty poor. There are really only two mainstream choices: anti-depressants like SSRIs/SNRIs, which are rarely effective for anxiety and take 6-8 weeks to have any effect. So you end up on a very long-term course of trial and error.
The other pharmacological option has traditionally been benzodiazapines (valium, kloponin etc.). Again, unless your illness is extremely acute, I very strongly urge you to never go down this path. They're very physically and psychologically addictive in the medium to long-term (sudden withdrawal can even result in in grand-mal seizures), and you will experience 'rebound' anxiety when you stop taking them.
Lastly, although not a cure, a few lifestyle changes can vastly improve your quality of life while you're seeking out profession treatment. The big three are exercise, regular sleep and mindfulness meditation. It's difficult to start at first, but if you can make even 1 or 2 or those a regular habit you will see an improvement in your life.
Anyhow, I really wish you all the best. Anxiety sucks, but fortunately there's a growing number of ways to make it suck less.
I'd like to offer a counterpoint to your views on medication. For those who suffer from acute, short-term anxiety over a specific event, for example an exam or an interview, beta blockers such as propranolol can be really helpful - as I understand it they interrupt the fight-or-flight adrenaline response to stop you working yourself into a panic. They were wonderful for me during exams and graduate interviews, and now I barely ever need them.
I still suffer from chronic anxiety, but that acute performance anxiety is not a problem for me anymore.
Wow, I can't believe I forgot beta-blockers... Especially since I have a long running prescription for them. I agree with all you've said and would even go a little further. They're quite safe to take on a regular basis and are especially effective for 'panic' type anxiety reactions (i.e. 'physical' anxiety symptoms). I still remember the first time I took these. That day, I spoke up in a large work meeting with a bunch on unfamiliar people. And for the first time in my life, I was not a shaking, sweaty mess afterwards.
The only very minor risk with them is if you're taking a fairly high daily dose and then suddenly stop. From what I understand this is really only a problem if you have some sort of pre-existing coronary disorder. Also contra-indicated if you have asthma (as it basically does the exact opposite of what those ventolin puffers do).
The only very minor risk with them is if you're taking a fairly high daily dose and then suddenly stop. From what I understand this is really only a problem if you have some sort of pre-existing coronary disorder. Also contra-indicated if you have asthma (as it basically does the exact opposite of what those ventolin puffers do).
> For those who suffer from acute, short-term anxiety over a specific event, for example an exam or an interview, beta blockers such as propranolol can be really helpful - as I understand it they interrupt the fight-or-flight adrenaline response to stop you working yourself into a panic.
Thanks for the recommendation. My girlfriend thinks she needs benzodiazepenes for anxiety. The doctors give her just enough to get addicted, then take them away.
Looking around just now, it seems like Clonidine is another anti-adrenaline drug that would be useful for acute anxiety. It's commonly used for smoking withdrawal too.
Thanks for the recommendation. My girlfriend thinks she needs benzodiazepenes for anxiety. The doctors give her just enough to get addicted, then take them away.
Looking around just now, it seems like Clonidine is another anti-adrenaline drug that would be useful for acute anxiety. It's commonly used for smoking withdrawal too.
First, anxietycoach.com helps with the day to day problems if you are suffering from irrational fears and/or panic attacks. This is a common symptom of overwork/anxiety and you can totally overcome it. Its mostly about working on some better habits that are very simple.
Beyond that, I know that for myself, anxiety keeps me from taking a real actual measure of my resources (costs, burn rate, etc) because as I get more anxious I just fill those data points in with a vague thought that its doomed. When I sit down, take an real mathematical measure of the situation, I am able to overcome the internal misconceptions that "i can never stop" or "I'll never escape this."
To put this in perspective, I live in the SFBay where the financial spiral here is terrible. That being said, taking the measure of reality, helps me accept what I can and can't do. Once that is defined, I find myself feeling a lot more confidence in handling even the most dire situation -- because at least I have formed a rational plan.
Beyond that, I know that for myself, anxiety keeps me from taking a real actual measure of my resources (costs, burn rate, etc) because as I get more anxious I just fill those data points in with a vague thought that its doomed. When I sit down, take an real mathematical measure of the situation, I am able to overcome the internal misconceptions that "i can never stop" or "I'll never escape this."
To put this in perspective, I live in the SFBay where the financial spiral here is terrible. That being said, taking the measure of reality, helps me accept what I can and can't do. Once that is defined, I find myself feeling a lot more confidence in handling even the most dire situation -- because at least I have formed a rational plan.
Thanks!
What's your burn rate? That is, if you stop doing any income-producing activities, how long can you live off of savings? Considering burning through them all for a long period of no work. Or if you think you can manage for longer, try to get to the magic number where 4% of your investments (assuming at least 5% annual ROI) covers your expenses, thus making you 'retired'.
Recovery (at least partial) is still possible, but you might be at the point where the first year of recovery looks like a lot of doing nothing but sleeping: http://jacquesmattheij.com/dealing-with-burn-out
Recovery (at least partial) is still possible, but you might be at the point where the first year of recovery looks like a lot of doing nothing but sleeping: http://jacquesmattheij.com/dealing-with-burn-out
Some years ago (6 or so, from memory) I realised I'd been consulting in a role for too long and gone stale and had lost my creativity (not burned out, but approaching that state). I had just enough money to survive for 6 months so I stopped work, chilled and then started to play with tech again. I returned to consulting after 6 months and everything immediately picked up again.
Years before (11 years ago I think) I left a start-up completely burned out, having just bought an apartment, with no spare money (all my cash went into the purchase). The start-up had run out of salary, I was angry and wasn't in a clear space. I bailed the UK and walked around Morocco for a month on my own (I got very bored of my own company), on the very last of my money. When I returned, very refreshed, I started my consulting career. That break was essential to let myself recover. It surprised me how much the rest of the world hadn't changed in that month, whilst my outlook was totally different (happy, positive and ready for the challenges ahead).
Years before (11 years ago I think) I left a start-up completely burned out, having just bought an apartment, with no spare money (all my cash went into the purchase). The start-up had run out of salary, I was angry and wasn't in a clear space. I bailed the UK and walked around Morocco for a month on my own (I got very bored of my own company), on the very last of my money. When I returned, very refreshed, I started my consulting career. That break was essential to let myself recover. It surprised me how much the rest of the world hadn't changed in that month, whilst my outlook was totally different (happy, positive and ready for the challenges ahead).
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Take 2 weeks off and buy an airplane ticket asap.
It helps to have something to look forward to.
Go to a different country, a change of scenery, new cultures to explore are always a great way to take your mind off the daily grind.
It helps to have something to look forward to.
Go to a different country, a change of scenery, new cultures to explore are always a great way to take your mind off the daily grind.
I refined my initial comment a little to not to sound so depressing. I do enjoy my work itself but the pursuit of success is not enjoyable when you don't get any meaningful results - Especially when the whole system feels like it is stacked against you.
I did change countries recently - I'm working remotely but it's definitely not a break.
I did change countries recently - I'm working remotely but it's definitely not a break.
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Hey, I've definitely felt that way before, and know a few friends that spent a good deal of time there. Sometimes you can spend so much time in a paper bag you forget that it's a paper bag you could punch your way out of any time you want. If it's not too personal, how is it that you feel that the system is stacked against you?
This can be good advice for some. It might not be choice for someone with depression. Deeper problems are not solved by a vacation.
This is not a bad suggestion. Sometimes your sanity requires taking a break. We forget the world/company/team doesn't stop without "us". Being in a different environment really helps. I've done a weekend trip to Disney and a longer trip to Hawaii. Both were done with little planning and really helped me out.
Going to throw a visible +1 into the ring here.
The only way over burnout is to put some distance between yourself and work.
Also, it's incredibly hard to self-evaluate your output when you're overworked and stressed. You may think you're making forward progress but you're usually harming the project and yourself more.
The only way over burnout is to put some distance between yourself and work.
Also, it's incredibly hard to self-evaluate your output when you're overworked and stressed. You may think you're making forward progress but you're usually harming the project and yourself more.
If you take some days off: Are you feeling better? Than burning out is your main problem.
If you actually start to feel worse when having time to relax, that hints at different problems like depression or anxiety.
If you actually start to feel worse when having time to relax, that hints at different problems like depression or anxiety.
What's the light at the end? What's the train and why is it going to get dark and ugly? I'm not being facetious, I'm wondering if you're feeling the same thing as me.
I had chronic rhinitis, probably linked to air pollution (near Paris). I have done a checkup of my sleep quality.
It has shown a slight Sleep apnea disorder. I am taking corticoids (nasal spray) since 2 month. My nose is a lot better, but the main improvement in about my memory and my concentration.
I think memory is very important for programming. I can work a lot faster since I take this treatment.
I think memory is very important for programming. I can work a lot faster since I take this treatment.
If you care to share - why would that be?
I've been working on my latest project for about 5 years (before that I spent 5 years on a project which ended in failure) with my latest project, the market has kept changing and I keep pivoting in subtle ways to stay relevant.
I've never raised any funding and I'm competing against really well funded startups so basically every few months, I see some other company implement my idea (ahead of me) and I have to keep refining the idea and narrowing my target market in order to stay competitive.
I managed to find some people to join the project so it's a bit better now but much of the weight is still on me.
I've never raised any funding and I'm competing against really well funded startups so basically every few months, I see some other company implement my idea (ahead of me) and I have to keep refining the idea and narrowing my target market in order to stay competitive.
I managed to find some people to join the project so it's a bit better now but much of the weight is still on me.
I've experience the exact same thing. It becomes a cyclical rut of feeling like you're not making enough progress on a project, then feeling guilty for spending time enjoying other things. Thoughts like "why should I enjoy my sunday morning in the park? I could be working feature x".
My advice isn't for everyone, but I got over the rut by realizing we're not going to be young and healthy forever. The term YOLO has become epitomized with young people making stupid decisions but some of us should really take it to heart.
I read a piece about making life decisions based on a regret minimization framework. Essentially you ask yourself which life you'd regret least when you're 80 and that's what you should do. I asked myself whether I'd regret never launching a successful product more, or never living a fulfilling life with adventure and meaningful relationships.
On a more concrete note, it's important for me to schedule time for exercise and fun. It helps by keeping me productive and my brain healthy, but also you won't have that voice in your head saying "hey, you should really be working on that other feature right now".
My advice isn't for everyone, but I got over the rut by realizing we're not going to be young and healthy forever. The term YOLO has become epitomized with young people making stupid decisions but some of us should really take it to heart.
I read a piece about making life decisions based on a regret minimization framework. Essentially you ask yourself which life you'd regret least when you're 80 and that's what you should do. I asked myself whether I'd regret never launching a successful product more, or never living a fulfilling life with adventure and meaningful relationships.
On a more concrete note, it's important for me to schedule time for exercise and fun. It helps by keeping me productive and my brain healthy, but also you won't have that voice in your head saying "hey, you should really be working on that other feature right now".
Plus minus 2 weeks is not going to kill a 5 year old project. Take a little time, recharge and think about exiting sell / quit ect. You only have one life and burning 10 years for a nominal return is enough.
It's scary to think that with some minor alterations I could have written your previous two posts.
The worst thing is that deep down I enjoy the pressure even though I know it's slowly destroying my life and everything I love. I just seem to take it and turn to stone.
The worst thing is that deep down I enjoy the pressure even though I know it's slowly destroying my life and everything I love. I just seem to take it and turn to stone.
Please make a change and the addiction will wear off. Not easy, but worthwhile.
Sometimes in order to "speed up" (in the sense of a deep, longer-range goal) -- you need to slow down.
So like the others are saying -- I really hope you can take a vacation soon.
So like the others are saying -- I really hope you can take a vacation soon.
Being able to stop working when you reach burnout (and not starve or go homeless) is a nice luxury to have. Things can always be worse.
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> I was used to being scared of being fired-- not that long ago, I'd been scraping by, had a hard time finding work. I didn't fully realize that I had more power now as a programmer. I didn't think about power struggles-- how other people did go home, but because they took the risk of standing up for themselves.
This is a real part of burnout--the realization that as employee #3422 you don't have much bargaining power. But I came to the opposite conclusion to the author's.
You either work to burnout levels or they'll just replace you with someone who will. I used to be a really cocky 20-something programmer, not afraid of getting fired or laid off--until it happened! Ending up about a month from insolvency gives you a realistic perspective on the power imbalance between you and your employer. Combine that with having a family to support, and you become much more willing to go into the "burnout zone" in order to keep the bills paid.
This is a real part of burnout--the realization that as employee #3422 you don't have much bargaining power. But I came to the opposite conclusion to the author's.
You either work to burnout levels or they'll just replace you with someone who will. I used to be a really cocky 20-something programmer, not afraid of getting fired or laid off--until it happened! Ending up about a month from insolvency gives you a realistic perspective on the power imbalance between you and your employer. Combine that with having a family to support, and you become much more willing to go into the "burnout zone" in order to keep the bills paid.
It's extremely important (and often underrated) to build up a good emergency fund to help in this type of situation. It's not the same as FU money—more of a security blanket of at least 3 months (hopefully 6 months plus) of liquid savings (checking, savings, CDs... not stocks, not real estate).
Ever since I finally saved that amount, it's helped a LOT with that feeling... If I lose my job today, I'll have enough personal runway to take a little time and find a good new job. I'm lucky in that I've never personally been laid off, but I know some people who have, and it's definitely a huge burden if you don't have even a month's worth of solvency.
Takeaway: do whatever you can to save at least 3 months' spending in a liquid emergency fund. Try for 6+, especially if you are supporting a family.
Ever since I finally saved that amount, it's helped a LOT with that feeling... If I lose my job today, I'll have enough personal runway to take a little time and find a good new job. I'm lucky in that I've never personally been laid off, but I know some people who have, and it's definitely a huge burden if you don't have even a month's worth of solvency.
Takeaway: do whatever you can to save at least 3 months' spending in a liquid emergency fund. Try for 6+, especially if you are supporting a family.
Agreed on emergency fund. I'd probably even add that, once you get to 6 months, shoot for 9 or 12. Still don't have FU money, but have had periods where I've had 2 years of minimal expenses saved up, which I'd never had before (and don't now, but that's a different story). It will give you a different perspective and some mental freedom. I still stressed about work/projects, but never like I had before.
Part of that, for me, is being > 40, the notion of "3 months of savings" just doesn't feel like anywhere near enough. If I needed to go get a new job... most of my >40 yo colleagues who have looked for jobs... it's taken most of them far more than 3 months. In one case it took a friend more than 9 months, and there were moving expenses involved as well. If he'd had "3 months" and that was it... I'm not sure what situation he'd have been in by that point.
Part of that, for me, is being > 40, the notion of "3 months of savings" just doesn't feel like anywhere near enough. If I needed to go get a new job... most of my >40 yo colleagues who have looked for jobs... it's taken most of them far more than 3 months. In one case it took a friend more than 9 months, and there were moving expenses involved as well. If he'd had "3 months" and that was it... I'm not sure what situation he'd have been in by that point.
Very important point. I think the older you are, and particularly if you have dependents, you need a longer period of savings. Couple TV programs (e.g. Suze Orman show) advise to have at least 8 months salary worth of savings.
I think if we have that bare minimum of comfort (i.e. 3/8/more salary months), then after that we should try to focus on being healthy. Working more and compromising health is a very bad deal. Even getting over-anxious about things leads to stress (which can lead to bad health).
Most of us programmers like our jobs anyway, provided work/managerial environment is not too bad. If we can just do it in a healthy way (YMMV, of course. 100+ is healthy for Elon Musk, and 40/50 for me).
I think even working towards an early retirement, may also not be a good thing, as some people try to. I have seen people age very fast after they retire. So if we enjoy our work, and are paid a healthy amount, and have decent savings. Should look to live a good life, right in the present. And not worry too much about long term.
Long term: I think for most programmer-entrepreneurs long term is more like a big exit after a few (3-5) hard years of work. The problem happens when realistically only a few of us can have such good luck. So being realistic, we should look at returns for the long haul (10 year periods). So staying healthy and alive, is very much needed, if and when we have the big exit.
I personally, started long(ish) distance running, to attune myself for a long haul work wise. At present work only around 40 hours (M-F). Sat/Sun only when needed (which is rarely). Don't compromise exercise for work. Get it done in the morning itself, before I have a chance to log in.
I also try to minimize the stress. What's a business without setbacks? So there are setbacks, e.g. partners breaking/not-renewing contracts . But I try to think of these things as just -ve events in a series of various +ve/-ve events. There are technical worries as well, e.g. EC2 volumes running out of disk space, within the next archival cycle, and increasing them fsck/resize2fs them, burning them in the image.
But also life goes on...in the present.
PS: Sorry, for not being specific, and randomly articulating even tangential things to the topic at hand. Hope its not too bad. :-)
I think if we have that bare minimum of comfort (i.e. 3/8/more salary months), then after that we should try to focus on being healthy. Working more and compromising health is a very bad deal. Even getting over-anxious about things leads to stress (which can lead to bad health).
Most of us programmers like our jobs anyway, provided work/managerial environment is not too bad. If we can just do it in a healthy way (YMMV, of course. 100+ is healthy for Elon Musk, and 40/50 for me).
I think even working towards an early retirement, may also not be a good thing, as some people try to. I have seen people age very fast after they retire. So if we enjoy our work, and are paid a healthy amount, and have decent savings. Should look to live a good life, right in the present. And not worry too much about long term.
Long term: I think for most programmer-entrepreneurs long term is more like a big exit after a few (3-5) hard years of work. The problem happens when realistically only a few of us can have such good luck. So being realistic, we should look at returns for the long haul (10 year periods). So staying healthy and alive, is very much needed, if and when we have the big exit.
I personally, started long(ish) distance running, to attune myself for a long haul work wise. At present work only around 40 hours (M-F). Sat/Sun only when needed (which is rarely). Don't compromise exercise for work. Get it done in the morning itself, before I have a chance to log in.
I also try to minimize the stress. What's a business without setbacks? So there are setbacks, e.g. partners breaking/not-renewing contracts . But I try to think of these things as just -ve events in a series of various +ve/-ve events. There are technical worries as well, e.g. EC2 volumes running out of disk space, within the next archival cycle, and increasing them fsck/resize2fs them, burning them in the image.
But also life goes on...in the present.
PS: Sorry, for not being specific, and randomly articulating even tangential things to the topic at hand. Hope its not too bad. :-)
No, you're spot on. I picked up running a few years ago, although i've slipped back to not doing it as much (really, I need to take time to go get some new shoes!) But I aim for at least a 5k per week, more if possible. While that'a a pretty low bar compared to a lot of runners, it's far more than I did years ago (nothing), and is something. I have to keep reminding myself that yes, 'something' is better than nothing.
I hadn't seen Orman recommend the 8 months, but it's definitely understandable. Whenever that runway goes down for any reason, I get a bit nervous. Thinking this way has pushed me to reduce the monthly outgoings where possible; reduce cell phone plan, cut satellite at home, etc. None of these are necessarily life altering, but saving say, $200/month means that an extra few $k savings adds more months to the runway.
I hadn't seen Orman recommend the 8 months, but it's definitely understandable. Whenever that runway goes down for any reason, I get a bit nervous. Thinking this way has pushed me to reduce the monthly outgoings where possible; reduce cell phone plan, cut satellite at home, etc. None of these are necessarily life altering, but saving say, $200/month means that an extra few $k savings adds more months to the runway.
Yep, fortunately I had about 3 months, but in retrospect it was too close for comfort and I should have had more saved (was at about the worst time for me--just added six figures of debt due to grad school). Whether it's 3 months or 6 months or 12 months, the point remains: If you can't afford to lose your job, you will do crazy things and work insane hours just to keep it.
The other thing to consider, which only applies to crazy countries like the USA, is that losing your job also means losing your health insurance, which can be a significant risk to your life. Sure, there's COBRA, but it's super-expensive, and should be factored in when calculating how much you need in savings.
The other thing to consider, which only applies to crazy countries like the USA, is that losing your job also means losing your health insurance, which can be a significant risk to your life. Sure, there's COBRA, but it's super-expensive, and should be factored in when calculating how much you need in savings.
The weird thing is COBRA isn't "super-expensive" - it's what the cost is. Just, in most cases, an employer is picking up some, most or all of the cost, so employees don't see it.
This is what's truly hosed up about US-based health insurance/services. People are so divorced from the reality when things are 'good' that the horribleness of it is exposed only when you can least deal with it.
Everyone should be required to buy their own insurance, with no employer interference at all. We'd see massive shift in peoples' attitudes, and probably a bigger shift to single-payer, quickly.
I'm self-employed and have had to deal with the expense of health insurance head-on for years. I was happy when we got 'high-deductible' HSA options, as it reduced monthly expense. ACA/Obamacare has more than doubled our monthly premiums in just 3 years, and I still can't afford to get sick at all without incurring hundreds or thousands of dollars in medical bills. :(
This is what's truly hosed up about US-based health insurance/services. People are so divorced from the reality when things are 'good' that the horribleness of it is exposed only when you can least deal with it.
Everyone should be required to buy their own insurance, with no employer interference at all. We'd see massive shift in peoples' attitudes, and probably a bigger shift to single-payer, quickly.
I'm self-employed and have had to deal with the expense of health insurance head-on for years. I was happy when we got 'high-deductible' HSA options, as it reduced monthly expense. ACA/Obamacare has more than doubled our monthly premiums in just 3 years, and I still can't afford to get sick at all without incurring hundreds or thousands of dollars in medical bills. :(
This is such good advice, I feel the need to echo it. But there are more dimensions to an emergency fund than you've listed. For instance, I've used the fact that I had 6+ months of savings to push back against an assigned task at work that I felt was unethical. Knowing that I would be okay if they didn't back down and fired me allowed me to protect my integrity. Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it can buy freedom. Freedom from stress, freedom to pursue something you feel is important, freedom to do the right thing when the wrong thing is convenient.
And the beautiful part of the saving process is that you're almost getting 2-for-1 on each dollar you save. People with little savings are, duh, spending basically what they earn. In that state, it may seem daunting to think, "How can I save 6 times what I spend when I have so little left over each month?" But as you cut back expenses, you start to see how little you actually need to survive. And that 6-month target, when translated into dollars (or whatever currency you're saving), starts to shrink. So, for instance, say you make $5k/mo after taxes and are spending just about that much. Saving $30k seems really hard. But if you can cut your expenses by 30% down to $3500/mo, now you're saving $1500/mo and only need to save $21k to get to 6 months of savings. That can be done in roughly one year.
And the beautiful part of the saving process is that you're almost getting 2-for-1 on each dollar you save. People with little savings are, duh, spending basically what they earn. In that state, it may seem daunting to think, "How can I save 6 times what I spend when I have so little left over each month?" But as you cut back expenses, you start to see how little you actually need to survive. And that 6-month target, when translated into dollars (or whatever currency you're saving), starts to shrink. So, for instance, say you make $5k/mo after taxes and are spending just about that much. Saving $30k seems really hard. But if you can cut your expenses by 30% down to $3500/mo, now you're saving $1500/mo and only need to save $21k to get to 6 months of savings. That can be done in roughly one year.
Completely agree. I would just add: keep your expenses low enough that allow you to make an emergency fund of 12+. It's liberating.
Save your money. Don't buy new cars, or fancy clothing, or live in a high end apt. Put the money in the bank so you can walk away when you want.
Burnout comes in various forms and intensities, but what's most important is that at least the first one will not be recognized as such. You have the symptoms but it's not like the flu or a headache, so you have no idea that you're burning out. If you're a developer and started coding as a hobby, try to recognize it early and find a better job or fix something else that will resolve the root causes, but try not to let it ruin the love of coding if you can. This sounds easier than it is, I'm well aware of that.
I hope I don't sound conceited here, but this was me and I resolved the issue.
Meditation. 15 minutes a day is all it takes, and I get myself to that place of not giving a care in the world and feeling all the stress just drop away. The only way I can describe it as, is like when you go on a beach holiday and you're lying in the sun, not sure what day it is (Saturday, Wednesday?) and feeling content.
Its now become vital and essential for me to mediate, it feels as important as sleeping and eating. I don't have any aspirations to become enlightened, I just wanted to stop waking up fearful in the morning and content during the day and night.
Meditation. 15 minutes a day is all it takes, and I get myself to that place of not giving a care in the world and feeling all the stress just drop away. The only way I can describe it as, is like when you go on a beach holiday and you're lying in the sun, not sure what day it is (Saturday, Wednesday?) and feeling content.
Its now become vital and essential for me to mediate, it feels as important as sleeping and eating. I don't have any aspirations to become enlightened, I just wanted to stop waking up fearful in the morning and content during the day and night.
I'm so glad I found a therapist for my burnout, as she introduced me to mindfulness meditation and it had the same impact for me at the parent poster.
The 'Mindfulness' app has decent free guided meditations, but I highly recommend the Headspace paid subscription, it costs peanuts compared to the value of your health and happiness. It's so well organised, has heaps of content, and they seem to be fairly science-based in their approach.
EDIT: Typo.
The 'Mindfulness' app has decent free guided meditations, but I highly recommend the Headspace paid subscription, it costs peanuts compared to the value of your health and happiness. It's so well organised, has heaps of content, and they seem to be fairly science-based in their approach.
EDIT: Typo.
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Can you recommend any resources for beginning meditation?
I've tried and really like the guided meditations (audio) from https://www.headspace.com/
There are some very short ones for free, longer ones cost money
There are some very short ones for free, longer ones cost money
Ajahn Brahm's guided meditation on YouTube isn't bad, and in fact some of his talks are decent as well (and relaxing). If you can get over a bald, English monk in Australia. There's a logical, rather secular sensibility that appeals to the geek that I am.
Helped me through times of personal and work burnout stress.
Helped me through times of personal and work burnout stress.
I listen to guided meditations. They are easy to find online and sometimes only take ~15 min. Here are some of the websites that I use:
https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditations/
http://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-medita...
http://www.mindfulselfcompassion.org/meditations_downloads.p...
https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditations/
http://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-medita...
http://www.mindfulselfcompassion.org/meditations_downloads.p...
I recommend The Mind Illuminated by John Yates. It's a brilliant book, see the reviews on amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0990847705/).
The Calm app is what got me hooked https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/calm-meditate-relax-guided/i...
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In my own opinion, job responsibility and stress level are proportional.
A year ago, I was burned out from a VPE level job for two years before and after moving down to a Engineering Lead (developer) job, responsibility greatly reduced, so were the stress level. I am able to take care more on myself and my family. So for the pay-cut and title downgrade, it's a good tradeoff so far.
Having said that, by no means responsibility is the only factor, I also feel that the work culture is also geographical. For instances, from my anecdotal experiences, same type of company in U.S. and Japan are working longer hours than the ones in Canada or France. A startup job in S.F. may seem a bit more stressful than a similar job in the Midwest/South. Your milage may vary.
PS: 8-hours of sleep is a great way to help me wean off the heavy coffee-drinking lifestyle. I remember reading an article recommended by my Jawbone UP wristband app about the quality of sleeping - REM sleeping is the key for brain consolidate memories. [1] [2]. As as aside, I love Jawbone's health awareness content. Too bad, they are going under :(
[1] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-michael-j-breus/whats-in-a-...
[2] http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15560767
A year ago, I was burned out from a VPE level job for two years before and after moving down to a Engineering Lead (developer) job, responsibility greatly reduced, so were the stress level. I am able to take care more on myself and my family. So for the pay-cut and title downgrade, it's a good tradeoff so far.
Having said that, by no means responsibility is the only factor, I also feel that the work culture is also geographical. For instances, from my anecdotal experiences, same type of company in U.S. and Japan are working longer hours than the ones in Canada or France. A startup job in S.F. may seem a bit more stressful than a similar job in the Midwest/South. Your milage may vary.
PS: 8-hours of sleep is a great way to help me wean off the heavy coffee-drinking lifestyle. I remember reading an article recommended by my Jawbone UP wristband app about the quality of sleeping - REM sleeping is the key for brain consolidate memories. [1] [2]. As as aside, I love Jawbone's health awareness content. Too bad, they are going under :(
[1] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-michael-j-breus/whats-in-a-...
[2] http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15560767
Oh this is too real.
I spent 3 years of my life, working ~100 hours a week on the same project. It was a startup (local one) and I can't remember the details of that time. I went to 2 vacations, only to spend my time working on my laptop, just by a pool rather than at the office. I carried my laptop to everywhere. Kept my phone accessible 7/24. Even got stressed on ~1 hour flights I had to take, because I'd be offline. I planned to quit but never acted on it. That mental state somehow locks you in.
As far as I can remember, my only comfort was my cat. He'd sleep on my lap while I was working at home. Like a stress reliever.
Then he died one day without a warning. I just went ahead and quit my job the next day.
Best decision of my life. I had some stock in the company and sold it during a later investment round to our older VC. Spent 6 months doing absolutely nothing. Then started a new company, started working healthy hours. Started cycling, eating healthy. Lost a ton of weight. Taking care of yourself makes everything work much better in long term. Later, even found a cat with a broken rib on the street, barely breathing. He's now sleeping next to me.
Please, please if you are in a similar situation, just stop. Doesn't worth it.
I spent 3 years of my life, working ~100 hours a week on the same project. It was a startup (local one) and I can't remember the details of that time. I went to 2 vacations, only to spend my time working on my laptop, just by a pool rather than at the office. I carried my laptop to everywhere. Kept my phone accessible 7/24. Even got stressed on ~1 hour flights I had to take, because I'd be offline. I planned to quit but never acted on it. That mental state somehow locks you in.
As far as I can remember, my only comfort was my cat. He'd sleep on my lap while I was working at home. Like a stress reliever.
Then he died one day without a warning. I just went ahead and quit my job the next day.
Best decision of my life. I had some stock in the company and sold it during a later investment round to our older VC. Spent 6 months doing absolutely nothing. Then started a new company, started working healthy hours. Started cycling, eating healthy. Lost a ton of weight. Taking care of yourself makes everything work much better in long term. Later, even found a cat with a broken rib on the street, barely breathing. He's now sleeping next to me.
Please, please if you are in a similar situation, just stop. Doesn't worth it.
Congratulations on breaking free. Humbly, I would suggest, however, that your incredibly difficult journey made your now better life possible.
Many of us have sacrificed multiple years of our lives for a better future. Four years of medical school and 6 years of residency/fellowship were my sacrifice.
Certain paths in life require some initial torture, unfortunately.
Many of us have sacrificed multiple years of our lives for a better future. Four years of medical school and 6 years of residency/fellowship were my sacrifice.
Certain paths in life require some initial torture, unfortunately.
That's pretty much right on the nose. Right down to my chihuahua sleeping in my lap right now...
It's really important to pay attention to symptoms of burnout and deal with them as a possibly life changing injury. Never ignore it. Never think "I'll deal with it after this project"
I didn't realise this when I was younger and suffered three burnouts. The first two sucked but were reasonably short term problems. The third destroyed my ability to think clearly and I'm only now starting to regain the ability to think as I used to - after a ten year break in a completely different career.
Don't ignore burnout!
I didn't realise this when I was younger and suffered three burnouts. The first two sucked but were reasonably short term problems. The third destroyed my ability to think clearly and I'm only now starting to regain the ability to think as I used to - after a ten year break in a completely different career.
Don't ignore burnout!
I gave a talk on burnout and "digital overwhelm" in 2015. It's a bit of my story and some tips on coping under the weight of the world. If you're interested: https://vimeo.com/147213533 — Slides are linked in the comments.
Loved this and I completely agree with most of the points you're making. What happened to wonder and boredom?
What's your current system? Do you use a smartphone? Intentionally disconnect for periods of time?
I went back to a smartphone after having lost mine for a period of months. I regret most of it every day. There are things I like about it. The GPS, the music, the podcasts, the camera; all in my pocket. It's just all the other stuff that it comes with — the notifications, the interruptions, the availability.
I know that's on me. It's a will power thing. But I'm only human. When I didn't have my phone on me, it forced me to really examine if I cared about something or if it was just fleeting. Like, who won the NHL MVP in 1978? If it was still a burning question the next time I was around an Internet connection, I'd look it up.
But 9 times out of 10, I'd forget. And wonder. And my life was better for it.
My current system is that I turn off all notifications except from my mother and wife. My email is not fetched unless I fetch it. I have no games on my phone. I've never had Facebook and haven't posted to Twitter in over two years. But with all that, it's still not the same.
I've relapsed at least twice since that talk. I have a phone. And it's still my boss. But I'm working on a bigger plan to abandon it all together. Whether I can get there or not, that's another story.
I know that's on me. It's a will power thing. But I'm only human. When I didn't have my phone on me, it forced me to really examine if I cared about something or if it was just fleeting. Like, who won the NHL MVP in 1978? If it was still a burning question the next time I was around an Internet connection, I'd look it up.
But 9 times out of 10, I'd forget. And wonder. And my life was better for it.
My current system is that I turn off all notifications except from my mother and wife. My email is not fetched unless I fetch it. I have no games on my phone. I've never had Facebook and haven't posted to Twitter in over two years. But with all that, it's still not the same.
I've relapsed at least twice since that talk. I have a phone. And it's still my boss. But I'm working on a bigger plan to abandon it all together. Whether I can get there or not, that's another story.
I'm really surprised to read the article she linked... Labor laws in Quebec do not exempt game employees, they should be getting overtime anytime they're over 50 hours a week...
Still recovering. Slowly. To those, who seeking for help, I can recommend a very good read: "The Power of Now", by Eckhart Tolle.
I can even recommend it even if you never experienced burnouts, PA's.
I can even recommend it even if you never experienced burnouts, PA's.
I completely relate to this.
I realized things needed to seriously change when I couldn't recall how long I'd been living in NYC or my apartment (4 and 3 years), and when I did the math I couldn't believe how much longer it was than I thought. The last year or so has basically been a blur aside from a few interesting memories (eg. vacations). It's not even like I've been working really hard, I've just been living a dull life on autopilot doing the same thing over and over again.
I've noticed that time passes slower when you're doing more interesting things. When I'm on vacation, the days feel much longer and fuller and I remember them in vivid detail. On the other hand, a month at the office is often just one continuous blur (I wrote about this here: http://jdiculous.blogspot.com/2016/04/slow-down-time-routine...). Also I'd been struggling to wake up before 10am and generally feeling sleep-deprived during the week, but on vacation I naturally wake up bright and early at 6:30-7:30am and fully awake.
I just quit my job and flew to Tokyo just to experience something different. My first day I woke up at 7am and went to bed at 7am. That single day was more memorable than the weeks if not months before I quit my job.
I've just managed to land a remote job. My plan is to travel around, and I'm hoping that the freshness of constantly being exposed to new environments and experiences outside my comfort zone will keep me sharp and more engaged with life rather than another forgettable year in an air-conditioned open office at the same desk around the same people.
I realized things needed to seriously change when I couldn't recall how long I'd been living in NYC or my apartment (4 and 3 years), and when I did the math I couldn't believe how much longer it was than I thought. The last year or so has basically been a blur aside from a few interesting memories (eg. vacations). It's not even like I've been working really hard, I've just been living a dull life on autopilot doing the same thing over and over again.
I've noticed that time passes slower when you're doing more interesting things. When I'm on vacation, the days feel much longer and fuller and I remember them in vivid detail. On the other hand, a month at the office is often just one continuous blur (I wrote about this here: http://jdiculous.blogspot.com/2016/04/slow-down-time-routine...). Also I'd been struggling to wake up before 10am and generally feeling sleep-deprived during the week, but on vacation I naturally wake up bright and early at 6:30-7:30am and fully awake.
I just quit my job and flew to Tokyo just to experience something different. My first day I woke up at 7am and went to bed at 7am. That single day was more memorable than the weeks if not months before I quit my job.
I've just managed to land a remote job. My plan is to travel around, and I'm hoping that the freshness of constantly being exposed to new environments and experiences outside my comfort zone will keep me sharp and more engaged with life rather than another forgettable year in an air-conditioned open office at the same desk around the same people.
I just came back from a 5 day holiday. I was working so much on my own project that I burnt out. It took me a few days to realize what was going on since my project was getting easier and yet I felt a lost in motivation.
So I locked my computer up, took a road trip for 3 days and did literally nothing for another 2 days. I started working again yesterday afternoon and was quite surprised how much more agile my mind has become.
It's hard to let go and relax sometime when there is always so much to be done. I think we are need to realize everyone is human and every few months we need some break no matter if we feel like we do or not.
After working for 10 years now, I now realize that nothing is really every that urgent. No matter what anyone tells you. Its your perception (or your boss's) that make it urgent, but objectively, it probably isn't.
The world won't stop spinning just cause you took one more day to finish something. Burn yourself out, and it may even take up more time.
So I locked my computer up, took a road trip for 3 days and did literally nothing for another 2 days. I started working again yesterday afternoon and was quite surprised how much more agile my mind has become.
It's hard to let go and relax sometime when there is always so much to be done. I think we are need to realize everyone is human and every few months we need some break no matter if we feel like we do or not.
After working for 10 years now, I now realize that nothing is really every that urgent. No matter what anyone tells you. Its your perception (or your boss's) that make it urgent, but objectively, it probably isn't.
The world won't stop spinning just cause you took one more day to finish something. Burn yourself out, and it may even take up more time.
> ...nothing is really ever that urgent.
When my co-author died (of old age at 90) and our book was unfinished I began to distinguish between artificial deadlines and true deadlines. I realized I'd missed a real deadline because I'd allowed myself to prioritize other projects with deadlines that turned out to be artificial, but had more insistent people demanding urgency.
We often operate in a culture where the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so urgency is usually exaggerated as you describe. Look out for real deadlines though.
A true deadline, like death, has irreversible consequences. Most "deadlines" are really targets and can be reprioritized or deferred, especially to avoid unhealthy behavior like burnout.
When my co-author died (of old age at 90) and our book was unfinished I began to distinguish between artificial deadlines and true deadlines. I realized I'd missed a real deadline because I'd allowed myself to prioritize other projects with deadlines that turned out to be artificial, but had more insistent people demanding urgency.
We often operate in a culture where the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so urgency is usually exaggerated as you describe. Look out for real deadlines though.
A true deadline, like death, has irreversible consequences. Most "deadlines" are really targets and can be reprioritized or deferred, especially to avoid unhealthy behavior like burnout.
The time it takes to go into burnout is supposed to be the time it takes to restore yourself.
I started on the opiates and benzos to self-medicate. I had all the symptoms, panic attacks, getting really ill whenever i took a break. Complete lack of perspective. Just stress from all sides, work, relationships, bills. Insane working hours for years. So, of course as my tolerance rose so did the dosage and strength.
CBT, therapy, meditation, exercise and stable routine are what i have utilised to get myself out of what i would call, without any sense of over-dramatising, hell.
It is not worth it. Please, please get help. There is no shame.