Ask HN: I'm burnout but I cannot afford to stop working. What next?
Looking at the other posts on HN about the topic, I think I'll really feeling burnout: I most probably need a change of career between different IT jobs (from automation tester to something else) or even a most drastic change, I still need to figure it out.
The problem is, as many do, I need an income, I cannot afford to just stop working and take a sabbatical.
What's your advice on how to cope with the situation? Thanks!
27 comments
I have been in a similar position, where I felt like standing with my back to a wall and no longer having the energy to deal with the stress of changing anything about my condition.
Now looking back, I think I could have faired better if I would have had a different attiture towards my job. I have come to realize that my hardest struggles are not with the environment but with myself: How I think about myself with respect to the situation I am in.
I hope that this meager reply can be of some help to you.
Now looking back, I think I could have faired better if I would have had a different attiture towards my job. I have come to realize that my hardest struggles are not with the environment but with myself: How I think about myself with respect to the situation I am in.
I hope that this meager reply can be of some help to you.
Yes it is helpful, thanks! That sounds very "stoic" what you just wrote, it's not much about what happens to me, but more about how I react to it. Did I get it correctly?
Yes. I think that, for example, a low self esteem could be a contributing factor to a burnout. I have been suffering from a low self esteem for almost all of my life, probably fueled by my perfectionism. I think this is a common thing about professionals in software development and IT.
It really sounds close to me as well, many thanks!
If you aren't already doing it, you should start a cardio and weight lifting routine. If you really whip yourself into shape, then you'll feel like superman, and then you'll be able to handle almost anything. I'd spend the time and effort to right your ship before you go looking for a different job. Taking any new role is typically a big challenge, and you're not up to the task at the moment.
Thanks I'll take the tip into consideration, since I don't do much activity at all lately... what about running instead?
Fast walking with some hills is great. It also reduced my stress quite a bit as after 20 minutes I would stop contemplating/planning and just walk. Doesn't matter the weather and much easier to do
Please do. Exercising and eating healthy is crucial as hell in managing plateau's and burnouts like this.
Honestly it doesn't really matter what you'll do (be it cardio, body-weight exercises, or weight-lifting).
At first you just wanna be consistent on literally anything, as long as you show up doing your thing every day, eating healthily enough every day, and resting as much as you need, that'll put you into that better head-space.
Honestly it doesn't really matter what you'll do (be it cardio, body-weight exercises, or weight-lifting).
At first you just wanna be consistent on literally anything, as long as you show up doing your thing every day, eating healthily enough every day, and resting as much as you need, that'll put you into that better head-space.
This is going to sound crazy. But it works. Go for a long walk (1 hour) and talk to yourself out loud. Ask yourself how you feel, why you feel the way you feel, explain to yourself what you truly think about your work, relationships etc. Be totally honest with yourself. Make sure you do this away from people so they don’t think you are crazy :-) The trick is to be two people. Yourself asking the questions and yourself answering them as honestly as possible.
Your comment reminded me of a Will Smith quote from many years ago where he talks about Running and Reading. He shares that running teaches you to overcome self doubt. He then talks about how reading helps you because anything you’re feeling, someone has gone through before, and you can learn how they handled it.
Not strictly relevant to the topic, but it remains good advice.
[1] https://youtu.be/-08M7JpLpl4
Not strictly relevant to the topic, but it remains good advice.
[1] https://youtu.be/-08M7JpLpl4
Something similar to this? https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200817-the-batman-eff...
> Make sure you do this away from people so they don’t think you are crazy
Or buy a $25 pair of bluetooth earbuds. You can also use them for listening to a podcast when you need to get out of your own head.
Or buy a $25 pair of bluetooth earbuds. You can also use them for listening to a podcast when you need to get out of your own head.
I listen to podcasts as well but it doesn’t help you ask deep questions to yourself and get to the core truth.
Sure. It is taking a break from doing that.
* Have a back up plan. For example I have a second part time career in an unrelated industry. That second job can always become full time employment if the primary employment falls apart. It doesn’t pay quite as much but it pays enough to cover my bills and is a viable option.
* Know how to pivot. Identify what about your career feels negative and redirect those concerns. Talk to your management and express potential solutions. For example I believe many coding products at work are low quality. My boss has asked me to put together training opportunities and I am also working on test automation solutions.
* Write. Take superior notes that benefit not just you. My experience as a corporate developer has shown me developers can always actively improve their writing skills. Better writing skills allow for solutions that aren’t possible through code alone.
* Take a break. There are many blessings to working from home. I can play computer games for 20 minutes every couple of hours to clear my head and refocus on work. If I am tired I spent time in my garden or with my cats/dogs. It really doesn’t take much of a purposeful distraction to make you feel better.
* Don’t get bored. The corporate job doing the same beginner stuff over and over gets old, especially when that means repeating past failures. I try to bring superior solutions into work to prevent the same kinds of problems from repeating. Those solutions can be training, automation, documentation. For me, I like working on side projects that solve problems other people are less interested in solving.
* Take care of your health and get out of the house/office. I try to run 3-4 miles several times a week. Staying healthy helps you focus and lowers depression.
* Know how to pivot. Identify what about your career feels negative and redirect those concerns. Talk to your management and express potential solutions. For example I believe many coding products at work are low quality. My boss has asked me to put together training opportunities and I am also working on test automation solutions.
* Write. Take superior notes that benefit not just you. My experience as a corporate developer has shown me developers can always actively improve their writing skills. Better writing skills allow for solutions that aren’t possible through code alone.
* Take a break. There are many blessings to working from home. I can play computer games for 20 minutes every couple of hours to clear my head and refocus on work. If I am tired I spent time in my garden or with my cats/dogs. It really doesn’t take much of a purposeful distraction to make you feel better.
* Don’t get bored. The corporate job doing the same beginner stuff over and over gets old, especially when that means repeating past failures. I try to bring superior solutions into work to prevent the same kinds of problems from repeating. Those solutions can be training, automation, documentation. For me, I like working on side projects that solve problems other people are less interested in solving.
* Take care of your health and get out of the house/office. I try to run 3-4 miles several times a week. Staying healthy helps you focus and lowers depression.
Thank you very much for all your advices!
Another one I didn’t think of earlier: drop social media. HN and GitHub are as close as I get to it. Unless you are using social media for a business purpose it isn’t productive and is extremely depressing.
Some of recent HN comments have really illustrated that some people hang on absolutely every single word and everything is a catastrophic emotional event.
Instead I prefer to think about it as: I have nearly 7000 karma on here to burn saying what I really think instead of hinting (bullshit) about something vague because some delicate flower might unfortunately shed a tear if even the very language shatters their fragile emotional shell. All they can do is downvote me (and some will stalk you on here doing just that). They cannot boycott me on Twitter, Reddit, or Facebook because I have no presence there. Clearly this stupidity doesn’t follow through to GitHub. So it’s completely disconnected from everything in life that actually matters for me: open source software and real life.
Some of recent HN comments have really illustrated that some people hang on absolutely every single word and everything is a catastrophic emotional event.
Instead I prefer to think about it as: I have nearly 7000 karma on here to burn saying what I really think instead of hinting (bullshit) about something vague because some delicate flower might unfortunately shed a tear if even the very language shatters their fragile emotional shell. All they can do is downvote me (and some will stalk you on here doing just that). They cannot boycott me on Twitter, Reddit, or Facebook because I have no presence there. Clearly this stupidity doesn’t follow through to GitHub. So it’s completely disconnected from everything in life that actually matters for me: open source software and real life.
I am/was in a similar situation. A few tips to get through your day:
* Identify one key item you want to accomplish. Once you finish it you are off the hook for the day. Limit it to one item per day only. * Have a hard-stop per day e.g. No work after 6pm. * Have a recharge routine. Everyday I pick from meditation, a walk or workout. * Plan something fun after work like a movie, show etc. Mindlessly binging on the internet as I attempted to forget about my day left me more exhausted and defeated. In covid-times, it is hard to plan a meaningful fun activity but a little intentionality goes along way.
* Identify one key item you want to accomplish. Once you finish it you are off the hook for the day. Limit it to one item per day only. * Have a hard-stop per day e.g. No work after 6pm. * Have a recharge routine. Everyday I pick from meditation, a walk or workout. * Plan something fun after work like a movie, show etc. Mindlessly binging on the internet as I attempted to forget about my day left me more exhausted and defeated. In covid-times, it is hard to plan a meaningful fun activity but a little intentionality goes along way.
Mindful relaxation time is so important.
Don’t know your situation in details but i would say that the main problem is that you feel like you’re in a bind.
As in: you feel you can’t afford to not work financially, but mentally you feel you can’t afford to continue working.
These are contradictory so one of these two needs to give. So there are two ways out of this:
1. You mentally can’t afford to work, so you should make it possible to quit/take sabbatical. Ask Parents/friends for help. They may host you for a bit, and not paying for housing will cut your expenses by a lot. Or maybe you have some savings you may tap into. This is what savings are for. Don’t bargain your mental health for cash. Moving to cheaper areas / countries is also a way. Like a sabbatical in thailand will cost you much less than living in the bay. You may also work in a farm abroad or something, they pay for your housing / food and you work for them while traveling. I think there are plenty of options there.
2. You financially can’t afford to not work, so you need to make it possible to work without deteriorating your mental health. Stick to the bare minimum. Tell your boss you moved 1.5 hours from work, so you need to leave at 5pm to feed the cats or whatever. It will feel you betray your coworkers, but when they start to also leave at 5pm (including your boss) they’ll be more grateful than angry at you. I have seen this pattern several times. If they fire you, you’ll get unemployment benefits.
My personal opinion, but again I don’t know your situation, is that it is very rare to be in a financial situation so dire that you absolutely can’t stay off work. I know some people who have jobs paying more than 50k/y, some savings, and still actually fear ending up in the street if they lose their jobs. It’s the way the job market works. Get people to fear/despise joblessness and exploit the shit out of them. In facts people are pretty resilient to hardship. Don’t fall for that trap. You’ll be more happy in a worse neighborhood not doing anything than in a shitty job.
Anyways, not sure all of these apply to you, but, yes I guess the important is to realize where the knot is...
Good luck!
As in: you feel you can’t afford to not work financially, but mentally you feel you can’t afford to continue working.
These are contradictory so one of these two needs to give. So there are two ways out of this:
1. You mentally can’t afford to work, so you should make it possible to quit/take sabbatical. Ask Parents/friends for help. They may host you for a bit, and not paying for housing will cut your expenses by a lot. Or maybe you have some savings you may tap into. This is what savings are for. Don’t bargain your mental health for cash. Moving to cheaper areas / countries is also a way. Like a sabbatical in thailand will cost you much less than living in the bay. You may also work in a farm abroad or something, they pay for your housing / food and you work for them while traveling. I think there are plenty of options there.
2. You financially can’t afford to not work, so you need to make it possible to work without deteriorating your mental health. Stick to the bare minimum. Tell your boss you moved 1.5 hours from work, so you need to leave at 5pm to feed the cats or whatever. It will feel you betray your coworkers, but when they start to also leave at 5pm (including your boss) they’ll be more grateful than angry at you. I have seen this pattern several times. If they fire you, you’ll get unemployment benefits.
My personal opinion, but again I don’t know your situation, is that it is very rare to be in a financial situation so dire that you absolutely can’t stay off work. I know some people who have jobs paying more than 50k/y, some savings, and still actually fear ending up in the street if they lose their jobs. It’s the way the job market works. Get people to fear/despise joblessness and exploit the shit out of them. In facts people are pretty resilient to hardship. Don’t fall for that trap. You’ll be more happy in a worse neighborhood not doing anything than in a shitty job.
Anyways, not sure all of these apply to you, but, yes I guess the important is to realize where the knot is...
Good luck!
Find what backup job you are willing to do, then get that part time job.
Prob retail. Not sure what else exists.
Ask for a transfer of jobs or departments or duties.
They'll say no or just can't help.
Then try to power thru or get fired or quit or have a heart attack or worse.
Its a shit situation.
New tech job could help too.
But lower end jobs tend to be much more stressful for even less money.
Prob retail. Not sure what else exists.
Ask for a transfer of jobs or departments or duties.
They'll say no or just can't help.
Then try to power thru or get fired or quit or have a heart attack or worse.
Its a shit situation.
New tech job could help too.
But lower end jobs tend to be much more stressful for even less money.
I think the new tech job is just a temporary half-solution, unfortunately
yes, def.
will be curious how you fared after you hopefully come out of this in a few months/year.
i would think we would have a better solution for this by now, but i guess if i had to offer a concrete solution as someone who's been there and literally does not have any idea, i would say:
1) lower expenses 2) get roommates/live-in/rent the garage/etc. 3) sell the house/etc. 4) go to therapy to start (really, prob won't help, but also can't hurt) 5) find any other job (which will help you appreciate your old job) 6) search HN to see how others dealt with it.
will be curious how you fared after you hopefully come out of this in a few months/year.
i would think we would have a better solution for this by now, but i guess if i had to offer a concrete solution as someone who's been there and literally does not have any idea, i would say:
1) lower expenses 2) get roommates/live-in/rent the garage/etc. 3) sell the house/etc. 4) go to therapy to start (really, prob won't help, but also can't hurt) 5) find any other job (which will help you appreciate your old job) 6) search HN to see how others dealt with it.
How long have you worked in this position?
How many hours a week do you work there?
What do you hate about it?
How many hours a week do you work there?
What do you hate about it?
The position 6 months, but in general 10 years... always full time so at least 40h a week.
I think I'd like to do something more creative, testing needs a "negative mindset" but on the long run I think it's not healthy.
I think I'd like to do something more creative, testing needs a "negative mindset" but on the long run I think it's not healthy.
can you try transitioning with your current employer?
Most probably not, but it's worth to try and ask indeed.