Is Calendly Rude?(calendly.com)
calendly.com
Is Calendly Rude?
https://calendly.com/blog/is-calendly-rude/
30 comments
I don’t use calendly but do feel the current “organic” way is broken (manually eyeball and type out times)
I did like the last approach the most though. Have something like calendly spit out your available times and you paste it into your email message.
They can click on what may work for them. This way it feels like you’ve done some work.
The other thing maybe could be that calendly can generate out your availability in a sentence form that can be pasted in. “I’ve got availability from 10-3 tomorrow, or 10-11 Wednesday” etc.
The point is that you still suggest times in the message but aren’t writing it all out yourself. Keeps it a bit more personal.
I did like the last approach the most though. Have something like calendly spit out your available times and you paste it into your email message.
They can click on what may work for them. This way it feels like you’ve done some work.
The other thing maybe could be that calendly can generate out your availability in a sentence form that can be pasted in. “I’ve got availability from 10-3 tomorrow, or 10-11 Wednesday” etc.
The point is that you still suggest times in the message but aren’t writing it all out yourself. Keeps it a bit more personal.
Yeah, I feel like the sender should do the extra work of embedding the times in an email. I like your idea of a script that's auto-generated.
But what happens when a person is busy and only has 30mn here and there? A huge blob of text for available times? What about when they get scheduled for a meeting 5 minutes after they send out that auto-generated blob? You could very well pick a time, set it aside, create calendar invites, etc... just to find out they _aren't_ actually available at that time.
It's a good point. There is a feature which allows the sender to "reserve times" in a one-off meeting. That way, they don't get booked before you have an opportunity to select a time.
>if I was doing any kind of jockeying for power and someone sent me their calendly, I'd ignore it
In general when someone in a lessor power position tries that, I fill in a bunch of empty times with filler meetings and let them pick from the smaller number of choices given to them.
In general when someone in a lessor power position tries that, I fill in a bunch of empty times with filler meetings and let them pick from the smaller number of choices given to them.
Hey, there. I wrote the post. I agree: From my experience people "jockeying for power" tend to get the most irritated by a scheduling link getting dropped on them without some sort of niceties surrounding it.
I was recently in the job market and there were a few instances where a recruiter would reach out to me, ask if some job opening sounded interesting to me, then ultimately send me their calendly link to book a meeting. It was a little off-putting at first, but that was ultimately resolved with a “get over yourself” internal dialogue moment.
Do you think this would have landed better if the recruiter would have first asked you for YOUR availability before sending their link? Or was it just the act of sending a link of any type that required a click on your part?
I actually find Calendly useful for recruitment interactions.
Even though it might seem like the recruiter's time is more important, to me it feels the opposite.
When recruiters ask for my availability, I need to reserve that availability until they get back to me. Often they ask for 3 to 4 slots of time, which depending on the week, might be hard to find, and then those slots are blocked.
When they send me a Calendly link, I can pick whatever slot works best for me and I then only that slot is blocked for me.
I recently went through an Amazon interview round and I had to send them my availability three times because none of the slots I sent worked for their interviewers, which really wasn't ideal and feels like their time was much more important than mine.
For regular meetings though, unless it's my manager or a higher up, I do agree that it feels like whoever sends the Calendly link is in control.
Even though it might seem like the recruiter's time is more important, to me it feels the opposite.
When recruiters ask for my availability, I need to reserve that availability until they get back to me. Often they ask for 3 to 4 slots of time, which depending on the week, might be hard to find, and then those slots are blocked.
When they send me a Calendly link, I can pick whatever slot works best for me and I then only that slot is blocked for me.
I recently went through an Amazon interview round and I had to send them my availability three times because none of the slots I sent worked for their interviewers, which really wasn't ideal and feels like their time was much more important than mine.
For regular meetings though, unless it's my manager or a higher up, I do agree that it feels like whoever sends the Calendly link is in control.
Yeah I do think that would have helped.
Yeah in that situation, I like to think it really is more efficient and it makes sense to give up preconceptions about etiquette. It seems to me (and I know it's silly) it's fine to use it for more impersonal stuff, but more touchy for scheduling amongst notional peers or people of similar standing, where it sort of automatically signals the requestor is more important than the time picker.
One thing to add, I've actually asked for people to send me a calendly before, I think that's a good social compromise for everyone- it let's me feel like I initiated the transaction, and overall we still get to schedule efficiently.
One thing to add, I've actually asked for people to send me a calendly before, I think that's a good social compromise for everyone- it let's me feel like I initiated the transaction, and overall we still get to schedule efficiently.
> it sort of automatically signals the requestor is more important than the time picker
This is precisely the problem with Calendly and why I'd never recommend it.
This is precisely the problem with Calendly and why I'd never recommend it.
This is a stretch. How does scheduling a meeting turn into an emotional battle?
Ask this again once you've worked for someone who wants to be a manager more than they want to manage people.
I like that. Ask them for their scheduling link.
I do find it rude usually and I would never use it for that reason; most people I know/do business with would literally tell me to suck a pipe no matter how the request is phrased. If the meeting is important, I'll make time no matter what you suggest (and vice-versa, otherwise you seem to think it's not important and we don't have the meeting); if it's not then why are we meeting in the first place? But it is a clear power-play for most people who send me that stuff; clearly they want to show how important they are. Some of them have told me so over a (traditionally planned) beer.
Disclaimer; I try to have as little meetings as possible outside 1-1 and team meetings which are ad hoc mostly when we are chatting anyway about something work.
Disclaimer; I try to have as little meetings as possible outside 1-1 and team meetings which are ad hoc mostly when we are chatting anyway about something work.
I know it's by the brand, but mentioning "my Calendly link" to your direct family is so stilted it hurts. Just adding a link and saying "this link should show when I'm usually free" is a bit more human. Doesn't spread brand awareness, but your own family is probably not the politest place for doing that.
The language as written in the post implies the recipient has any idea who Calendly is or should care. I don't and I don't, so it comes across rude as now I have to figure out what this thing is you're asking me to do, just to be graced with your presence.
But really, don't treat your family like a business problem.
The language as written in the post implies the recipient has any idea who Calendly is or should care. I don't and I don't, so it comes across rude as now I have to figure out what this thing is you're asking me to do, just to be graced with your presence.
But really, don't treat your family like a business problem.
I have used Calendly at work, everywhere I've been, for the last 3 or so years. It's a lifesaver. I've also used other peoples calendly links, or teams scheduler, or chilipiper or any number of calendar scheduling system. When you're talking about scheduling two or more people of moderately busy schedules a "booking tool" like this is totally worth its weight in gold in any number of situations.
When I work with outside sales teams, from vendors, they often want to include other people (sales engineers, whatever). My calendar often gets chopped up into a few hours here and there of free time as most. I can sit down and write out what my schedule is for the next week but I'm not going to include every moment of free time, probably one or two big blocks per day - at most - if that's even available. They may be unavailable, or it might be late for them (West/East coast). However that one 30mn section I neglected earlier one day might have worked perfectly. But they don't know that. I send them a calendly, then they can look over all my free time and pick exactly what they want.
As a hiring manager, it's also great. People have jobs and lives. Calendly lets me say "here, pick anything that works for you". It gives them the control to not only pick a time that is convenient, but a time that they are comfortable with. Sure, maybe they could meet at 10am but they'd have to stand in a stairwell to take a call. However at 7pm East, they can be at home - and I'm totally ok with a 4pm call, my calendar is free after all.
The entire goal is to make the process of calendaring as convenient as possible for everyone involve. No more emails threads back and forth and back and forth and back and forth trying to find the best times. Especially when half the time you write out your availability to someone, 5 minutes later another meeting will appear in one of those open slots and throw everything for a loop.
Maybe there are ways that people send out these links that other people find offensive. Communication is always hard. But the goal is to reduce friction and make life easier. I will never be upset by someone trying to make my life easier by saying "Here, pick whatever works best for you on my caelendly".
When I work with outside sales teams, from vendors, they often want to include other people (sales engineers, whatever). My calendar often gets chopped up into a few hours here and there of free time as most. I can sit down and write out what my schedule is for the next week but I'm not going to include every moment of free time, probably one or two big blocks per day - at most - if that's even available. They may be unavailable, or it might be late for them (West/East coast). However that one 30mn section I neglected earlier one day might have worked perfectly. But they don't know that. I send them a calendly, then they can look over all my free time and pick exactly what they want.
As a hiring manager, it's also great. People have jobs and lives. Calendly lets me say "here, pick anything that works for you". It gives them the control to not only pick a time that is convenient, but a time that they are comfortable with. Sure, maybe they could meet at 10am but they'd have to stand in a stairwell to take a call. However at 7pm East, they can be at home - and I'm totally ok with a 4pm call, my calendar is free after all.
The entire goal is to make the process of calendaring as convenient as possible for everyone involve. No more emails threads back and forth and back and forth and back and forth trying to find the best times. Especially when half the time you write out your availability to someone, 5 minutes later another meeting will appear in one of those open slots and throw everything for a loop.
Maybe there are ways that people send out these links that other people find offensive. Communication is always hard. But the goal is to reduce friction and make life easier. I will never be upset by someone trying to make my life easier by saying "Here, pick whatever works best for you on my caelendly".
Living in the bubble of SF, Calendly is the "high-tech" way to sync when to meet, for both private and professional reasons. Most importantly, for interviews, it's highly efficient - rather than give "a couple times that work for you", you just pass them a Calendly link. For a senior software dev that gets bombarded with offers, it's basically the only way to navigate the sheer volume of possibilities.
The paid plan only lets you configure one meeting configuration, so if you simultaneously want to use it for your personal life you kind of have to pay for it. Pretty clever monetization strategy if you ask me. Anyway, as part of this bubble, a large number of people I know follow their calendar religiously - otherwise it's a host of double-booking friends and missing plans that you really did want to go to with people you really did want to spend more time with!
I get that this is part of the strange, strange bubble I live in, but the startup life is busy with a work/life balanced on the work side of things. Not trying to humblebrag that I have a lot of friends, it's more that I'm a wee bit forgetful and don't want to stand somebody up. It's ruder to be inefficient and have a multi-email back and forth to figure out a mutually acceptable time!
(Because I know the people are going to read too much into this: There are people here that don't live so slavishly to their calendar, but if I forget to manually add them to my calendar I'm likely to forget I've made plans.)
The paid plan only lets you configure one meeting configuration, so if you simultaneously want to use it for your personal life you kind of have to pay for it. Pretty clever monetization strategy if you ask me. Anyway, as part of this bubble, a large number of people I know follow their calendar religiously - otherwise it's a host of double-booking friends and missing plans that you really did want to go to with people you really did want to spend more time with!
I get that this is part of the strange, strange bubble I live in, but the startup life is busy with a work/life balanced on the work side of things. Not trying to humblebrag that I have a lot of friends, it's more that I'm a wee bit forgetful and don't want to stand somebody up. It's ruder to be inefficient and have a multi-email back and forth to figure out a mutually acceptable time!
(Because I know the people are going to read too much into this: There are people here that don't live so slavishly to their calendar, but if I forget to manually add them to my calendar I'm likely to forget I've made plans.)
It's honestly funny to me that people think it's so rude to send a Calendly link first than a whole new app was made to solve that sole pain point, https://SavvyCal.com
How does this solve the rudeness angle? I’ve read everything and I can only see that they think their UI is pleasant enough that people won’t mind. Which may be true, but that’s not a direct solution.
I recommend using a "polite" script many people use: "Feel free to let me know when you're available. If you prefer, you can choose from my availability here." It opens the door for the other person first.
We use Calendly all the time (and love it) and usually present it as 'grab a time that suits you' (or words to that effect). I think that makes it sound like please choose what you'd like, rather than please fill in this form and maybe I'll speak to you. I think that also allows you to avoid the 'or just send me some times that suit you', which I try to avoid because it just ends up in several rounds of diary tennis which is exactly what Calendly solves!
I like that language. I'll have to try that.
How is saving your and other people's time "rude"? For example, a framing shop I frequent uses a Calendly widget on their homepage for self-service scheduling of consultations. Efficiency advances without externalities shouldn't be considered rude, they should be considered brilliant.
Agreed. Perhaps it's less about the nice words one uses and more about the features (embed in a website, embed times in an email) that reduce the work for the person trying to book a meeting.
That's what PAs are for. No need for a chief of marketing to impersonate Emily Post and offer conveniently priced solutions to non-existent problems.
I like Calendly a lot, it saves a lot of time, certainly more than some more polite scheduling method.
But asking others to find time in your calendar definitely has a power dynamic aspect to it, even if it shouldn't. It's the same as someone asking you to find time in a shared calendar at work (even though that in principle is worse, because the requester could have done the same in that case).
Maybe the solution is a more widely used calendar standard, where you can ask people to share their availability and find a time yourself.
Bottom line, if I was doing any kind of jockeying for power and someone sent me their calendly, I'd ignore it. On a day to day basis, it's easier, but you're showing your lower status vs the requester, even if that's as stupid as it sounds.