Lesson: Stop saying “Hi” and waiting for a response(iamvishnu.com)
iamvishnu.com
Lesson: Stop saying “Hi” and waiting for a response
https://iamvishnu.com/posts/stop-saying-hi-and-waiting-for-a-response
31 comments
At a previous employer I stopped responding to “Hi”.
It was interpreted by the “hi” folks as me not ever being at work.
Eventually (as I anticipated) someone complained that I missed an important priority issue about X.
I had to explain how “hi” /= important issue about X and that I revive so many “hi” messages that I couldn’t assume they’re all important.
It was pretty tiresome explaining it, but it worked, I stopped getting “hi” and got “hi, important issue X”.
It was interpreted by the “hi” folks as me not ever being at work.
Eventually (as I anticipated) someone complained that I missed an important priority issue about X.
I had to explain how “hi” /= important issue about X and that I revive so many “hi” messages that I couldn’t assume they’re all important.
It was pretty tiresome explaining it, but it worked, I stopped getting “hi” and got “hi, important issue X”.
Reminds me a bit of Scott Hanselman's "One Email Rule" https://www.hanselman.com/blog/one-email-rule-have-a-separat... that requires a bit of training on other people's part (for the good of all)
That’s a good rule.
I make a point to clean my email to 0 daily.
I don’t always get there, but often.
I consider email ephemeral and it should have a very short life.
I make a point to clean my email to 0 daily.
I don’t always get there, but often.
I consider email ephemeral and it should have a very short life.
Absolute failure to communicate on their part.
One thing I love about Jira is the paper trail. I always make sure comms goes through it or is pasted into it.
I was accused and DISCIPLINED for not responding to a request to fix something minor while on vacation. I showed the paper trail, it did nothing. I was still “monitored for improved feedback”. When I got a new boss however, I showed him everything and he said he has been told of this incident (as a potential bad employee) and acknowledged this was proof the old boss was full of shit.
One thing I love about Jira is the paper trail. I always make sure comms goes through it or is pasted into it.
I was accused and DISCIPLINED for not responding to a request to fix something minor while on vacation. I showed the paper trail, it did nothing. I was still “monitored for improved feedback”. When I got a new boss however, I showed him everything and he said he has been told of this incident (as a potential bad employee) and acknowledged this was proof the old boss was full of shit.
I've wondered if the subconscious reason for sending "hi" / disliking receiving "hi" is that -- in the same way as a read receipt -- it denies the recipient the chance to read the message and tactfully choose to ignore it for some time.
E.g. no-one likes being saddled with urgent work; therefore pretending you haven't yet seen a request for such until you feel like dealing with it may be a common response; therefore asking "hi" is an attempt to establish real-time communication and thus force an immediate response to a potentially unpalatable request.
E.g. no-one likes being saddled with urgent work; therefore pretending you haven't yet seen a request for such until you feel like dealing with it may be a common response; therefore asking "hi" is an attempt to establish real-time communication and thus force an immediate response to a potentially unpalatable request.
> it denies the recipient the chance to read the message and tactfully choose to ignore it for some time.
This is exactly why I don't like it, I don't get the chance to prioritize work. Just like the examples in the link, if someone replies with just "hi," I will put it at the bottom of the request pile because I have 19 other things to do. All of those things are known quantities, this "hi" isn't.
I'm sure it's confirmation bias but it feels to me that the times of late when I accidentally or, out of a thought that I should be more nice to people, break pattern and reply, I always get sucked into a vortex of fail.
This is exactly why I don't like it, I don't get the chance to prioritize work. Just like the examples in the link, if someone replies with just "hi," I will put it at the bottom of the request pile because I have 19 other things to do. All of those things are known quantities, this "hi" isn't.
I'm sure it's confirmation bias but it feels to me that the times of late when I accidentally or, out of a thought that I should be more nice to people, break pattern and reply, I always get sucked into a vortex of fail.
This is a great link, and I really would like to include this in my Teams status message that shows up Whenever someone tries to message me, but that just feels a little too passive-aggressive
It's funny because unless someone follows up I will very likely never respond to a message that just says, "Hi"
I tend to just ask questions immediately. I've heard some people like a little more pretext so I say, "Hey Hey. Insert question or reason I messaged" now.
I wonder where we pick up these defaults.
I tend to just ask questions immediately. I've heard some people like a little more pretext so I say, "Hey Hey. Insert question or reason I messaged" now.
I wonder where we pick up these defaults.
In places where I commonly have people asking me tech questions, I fairly often have to repeat Rule 1 of Asking Danaris Questions:
Ask The Damn Question.
I usually only have to say it once to a given person, and repeating it in public chats when people ping me there without an actual question tends to reduce the incidence of "naked pings" generally for a while.
For a while, I tried having https://nohello.com/ in my Discord status, but that's not the most visible indicator, so I haven't been doing it lately.
Ask The Damn Question.
I usually only have to say it once to a given person, and repeating it in public chats when people ping me there without an actual question tends to reduce the incidence of "naked pings" generally for a while.
For a while, I tried having https://nohello.com/ in my Discord status, but that's not the most visible indicator, so I haven't been doing it lately.
Also stop tagging me in a direct message, it doesn't send an extra notification...
It just muddies up search when I [later] want to see where I've been mentioned in channels
It just muddies up search when I [later] want to see where I've been mentioned in channels
Thanks Vishnu for repackaging reddit threads for us
https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/t48pfa/lpt_don...
https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/t48pfa/lpt_don...
This isn't an original idea, this is an opinion, and there are many people posting the same opinion online in different places. Searching "stop saying hi" will show up thousands of such posts.
My tactic to reply simply “hi” back.
As I've heard it from IRC, "Don't ask to ask, just ask." - https://dontasktoask.com/
our internal policy is to say hi because a lot of us might be screen sharing to clients and most people are bad about setting the flag to not show message text in the notification area.
That's an important thing. I always urge people to disable or turn off desktop notifications all the time, otherwise, share either a tab, a window, or the secondary monitor only.
Note: From 2021, Google Chrome hides notification content when we share the screen: https://workspaceupdates.googleblog.com/2021/01/better-priva...
Note: From 2021, Google Chrome hides notification content when we share the screen: https://workspaceupdates.googleblog.com/2021/01/better-priva...
I've had a rule about this since SMS caught on. Any time someone send a "call me" type message, my only response is "about what?" I try to enforce the same concept with meetings and slack and any other place where it makes sense. Naked pings feel like a trap and while they rarely are, it has happened before and by forcing context before agreeing to a discussion, I've avoided being caught off guard.
this guy is trying to go straight from http/1.1 to http/3 in real life.
This is a huge pet peeve of mine.
It doesn't bother me in the slightest - it honestly feels a bit more polite than just barreling in with a question. I was sort of surprised when I found out just how passionately it bothers the people it does bother, though, so I've made a conscious effort to stop doing it.
You can say hi + ask a question in the same message. So I don’t really see how:
Hi. <Press enter> <Ask Question>
Is any more polite than:
Hi. <Ask Question>
Hi. <Press enter> <Ask Question>
Is any more polite than:
Hi. <Ask Question>
I'm 100% fine with Hi. <Press enter> <Ask Question>. It's Hi <Press Enter> <Wait for a response> <Ask Question> that makes me homicidal. It makes it completely impossible for me to prioritize this discussion.
That seems to be the general consensus. I don't see the difference, but I will abide by the decision of the council.
The difference is that when you press enter I get an alert. Then you take 30 seconds or 2 minutes (or more) to think through and type out your question. Now I just have to sit there waiting for your question.
I started to outright ignore it. It brought two benefits: 1. It stopped bothering me, 2. Frequency dropped significantly
this is a cultural thing as well- I moved to Mexico and it's huge here, and I have to tell people not to do it
nohello.com
- https://blogs.gnome.org/markmc/2014/02/20/naked-pings/ - https://fedoraproject.org/wiki/No_naked_pings - https://blog.doismellburning.co.uk/nobody-likes-naked-pings/ - https://www.die-welt.net/2020/06/naked-pings-2020/