Ask HN: Is your memory as bad as mine?
81 comments
OH yeah. Coming up on 40 and I forget so much shit now. I'll forget I watched some movie a year ago, start to re-watch it, and go "wait a minute..." I also make really dumb errors writing that I never, ever used to. Homophone mix-ups and such, even when I know which one's correct, the wrong one goes to my fingers. Omitting words, that kind of thing. Didn't do that ever before 30.
I also barely have what they call an "autobiographical memory"—I remember that things happened, but any kind of timeline and about 90% of the specific images or details a normal person recalls, I don't, as in, I can know "we went to the beach last Summer, it was at city X, we went to such-and-such attractions" but barely any of what normal people would call memories. What month was it? No clue. Specific memories of what happened? Not really, a few disconnected images and all I can do is fill in the rest with guesswork that often ends up being a smear of all the times I did anything similar.
But that part's always been the case. You'd think it'd make it hard to live life but I made it to almost 30 before I learned that wasn't normal, and learned somewhat later that it's an actual disorder of some kind that's just barely starting to be understood.
It does make "tell me about a time that..." questions in interviews absolute hell. I either have to take extensive notes all the time and then study them before interviews, or basically make something up. I cannot come up with that kind of thing on the spot, from my actual memory. And "write about what you did this Summer" was always the very hardest assignment all year, through grade school. Hated those. And now I know why! Hahaha.
I also barely have what they call an "autobiographical memory"—I remember that things happened, but any kind of timeline and about 90% of the specific images or details a normal person recalls, I don't, as in, I can know "we went to the beach last Summer, it was at city X, we went to such-and-such attractions" but barely any of what normal people would call memories. What month was it? No clue. Specific memories of what happened? Not really, a few disconnected images and all I can do is fill in the rest with guesswork that often ends up being a smear of all the times I did anything similar.
But that part's always been the case. You'd think it'd make it hard to live life but I made it to almost 30 before I learned that wasn't normal, and learned somewhat later that it's an actual disorder of some kind that's just barely starting to be understood.
It does make "tell me about a time that..." questions in interviews absolute hell. I either have to take extensive notes all the time and then study them before interviews, or basically make something up. I cannot come up with that kind of thing on the spot, from my actual memory. And "write about what you did this Summer" was always the very hardest assignment all year, through grade school. Hated those. And now I know why! Hahaha.
Woahhh cool that there is a word for it! I most definitely have a similar memory (autobiographical)...and am 30!
I've been learning how to navigate it - for example "tell me about a time that..." is extremely difficult for me. But if I change the prompt to "think of a time when I was living at my grandparents house in the winter" or similar, I can begin to recall things, specificity is key. I also have difficulty when people are like "remember X time", and nothing will come up, and I'll have to ask further questions to try and trigger the memory, often when it triggers the whole thing can flood in.
I also find that my mind doesn't typically rehash old things, the mind isn't stewing in memories, it's usually in futurescapes or random thought lines on topics. I actually think this is one of the reasons for me not being able to pull it up quickly and needing specific ways to trigger the memory, it's like the memories are in cold storage.
I've been learning how to navigate it - for example "tell me about a time that..." is extremely difficult for me. But if I change the prompt to "think of a time when I was living at my grandparents house in the winter" or similar, I can begin to recall things, specificity is key. I also have difficulty when people are like "remember X time", and nothing will come up, and I'll have to ask further questions to try and trigger the memory, often when it triggers the whole thing can flood in.
I also find that my mind doesn't typically rehash old things, the mind isn't stewing in memories, it's usually in futurescapes or random thought lines on topics. I actually think this is one of the reasons for me not being able to pull it up quickly and needing specific ways to trigger the memory, it's like the memories are in cold storage.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autobiographical_memory#Memory...
Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM) is that name for the condition.
Interviews I've read with exemplars who've been the means for researchers discovering that it exists (I think some are in the article's references?) puts them about one notch worse than I am, but most of what they describe rings extremely true.
In particular, remembering that things happened but having very little of what I gather are ordinary memories of the events, not having an idea of where those events fit into any kind of chronology without painstakingly working through some kind of dependency reasoning like "well we got X there and we had that at time Y so it must have been before that..." I'll be like that for stuff that happened last year, or ten years ago, but also last month, or even last week. Ask me when some notable thing I recently did happened and I'm likely not to be able to place it more precisely than "I think it was this quarter, at least? Maybe?" but even that I get wrong pretty often ("um, no, that was Spring of last year") Like I don't get that stuff wrong 100% of the time, but it's definitely most of the time. Maybe 80%, and often comically wrong.
As described by those interviewees, this has surprisingly little effect on, say, work or school life. I remember facts and processes and such just fine. Maybe better than most, even.
Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM) is that name for the condition.
Interviews I've read with exemplars who've been the means for researchers discovering that it exists (I think some are in the article's references?) puts them about one notch worse than I am, but most of what they describe rings extremely true.
In particular, remembering that things happened but having very little of what I gather are ordinary memories of the events, not having an idea of where those events fit into any kind of chronology without painstakingly working through some kind of dependency reasoning like "well we got X there and we had that at time Y so it must have been before that..." I'll be like that for stuff that happened last year, or ten years ago, but also last month, or even last week. Ask me when some notable thing I recently did happened and I'm likely not to be able to place it more precisely than "I think it was this quarter, at least? Maybe?" but even that I get wrong pretty often ("um, no, that was Spring of last year") Like I don't get that stuff wrong 100% of the time, but it's definitely most of the time. Maybe 80%, and often comically wrong.
As described by those interviewees, this has surprisingly little effect on, say, work or school life. I remember facts and processes and such just fine. Maybe better than most, even.
Found this BBC article on it https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20181112-severely-deficie...
This is exactly my case as well. Most of my family too, I'd venture, but to varying degrees.
Isn't this autobiographical memory just another capability of the brain that is simply trained by making use of it?
Yes, there are of course medical cases and disorders. But I'd guess a lot of variance just comes from differing individual "training intensity".
There must be quite some variance in the average number of times that individual people are triggered/challenged to recall some memories (and process them) in their everyday lives. Some people don't communicate with others - generally, and also more specifically about what happens/happened in their life - as much as others do.
And some people are more inclined to subconsciously cultivate their own memories, than others. Those for example, who enjoy storytelling. Their mind probably creates stories (which apparently are an essential mental feature) around their memories more easily, which facilitates recalling these memories.
Yes, there are of course medical cases and disorders. But I'd guess a lot of variance just comes from differing individual "training intensity".
There must be quite some variance in the average number of times that individual people are triggered/challenged to recall some memories (and process them) in their everyday lives. Some people don't communicate with others - generally, and also more specifically about what happens/happened in their life - as much as others do.
And some people are more inclined to subconsciously cultivate their own memories, than others. Those for example, who enjoy storytelling. Their mind probably creates stories (which apparently are an essential mental feature) around their memories more easily, which facilitates recalling these memories.
I think it’s really just another trait the exists on a bell curve, e.g. one can be tall (right of bell curve’s normal distribution), but have a poor memory (left on bell curve).
Really interesting! I'm 32 and I feel like this is the exact same thing that's happening to me. I have struggled with this for a long time, and I've been hyperaware of it, since it partially contributed to my marriage breaking down.
I've gone to therapy after it was suggested that this might be childhood trauma, but the therapist seems to be focusing on different things.
Can I ask what the disorder is (perhaps I'm misunderstanding and called autobiographical memory?), and how you found out that it is one?
I've gone to therapy after it was suggested that this might be childhood trauma, but the therapist seems to be focusing on different things.
Can I ask what the disorder is (perhaps I'm misunderstanding and called autobiographical memory?), and how you found out that it is one?
Posted more info in a response to another poster. I don't think anyone's doing treatment work with it yet, if they ever will. Seems like psychologists just realized it's A Thing in the last couple decades. Given how (surprisingly) little it affects ordinary life I'm not sure it'll ever receive much attention, but it was nice to learn it's not just me (once I even realized it wasn't normal, which took quite a while).
I've had trouble falling asleep since I was a very young kid (mind racing with questions and thoughts, ruminating on times I've done things wrong which are the only events I've ever been able to form strong memories of—and as an adult, add anxiety to the mix) and wouldn't be surprised to find out it's a consequence of only getting enough sleep one or two nights a week for practically all of one's life. But, the cause could be something else entirely, I have no idea.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autobiographical_memory#Indivi...
I've had trouble falling asleep since I was a very young kid (mind racing with questions and thoughts, ruminating on times I've done things wrong which are the only events I've ever been able to form strong memories of—and as an adult, add anxiety to the mix) and wouldn't be surprised to find out it's a consequence of only getting enough sleep one or two nights a week for practically all of one's life. But, the cause could be something else entirely, I have no idea.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autobiographical_memory#Indivi...
Mid-life burnout/overwhelm and long term low-level stress can all contribute, in my and my team's. experience. You've not mentioned gender either - menopause in women can cause brain fog etc.
You end up feeling like "25 year old me was so much sharper and quicker, wtf?!"
Assuming that: you work in tech; you're probably not neuro typical; you've developed so many coping strategies for life's ups and downs you don't even think about them;
... have a look at what does stick in your mind. Are you spending a lot of brain power on underlying anxious thoughts, stuff that's always flying around your head that maybe focusing on work helps to ease? Is your mind acting like something's hogging the CPU?
You end up feeling like "25 year old me was so much sharper and quicker, wtf?!"
Assuming that: you work in tech; you're probably not neuro typical; you've developed so many coping strategies for life's ups and downs you don't even think about them;
... have a look at what does stick in your mind. Are you spending a lot of brain power on underlying anxious thoughts, stuff that's always flying around your head that maybe focusing on work helps to ease? Is your mind acting like something's hogging the CPU?
Thanks for your answer, very insightful really. I suspect I might have some of the issues you’ve mentioned. Two follow-up questions if you don’t mind
Do you track your sleep quality, and if so using which method?
I do work in tech. What do you mean by not being neuro-typical?
Do you track your sleep quality, and if so using which method?
I do work in tech. What do you mean by not being neuro-typical?
Bluntly, most tech people are either some kind of ADHD or Aspergers, or both. Well-Adjusted Adults (/s) don't generally want to spend all day speaking in extremely logical terms and fighting esoteric error messages from their computer. IMO a lot of scrum practices and tech company culture is centered around making work more tractable for people with these kinds of neurodivergances.
In relation to what GP was talking about, if you have spent most of your life with either of these conditions it is likely that part of your normal every-day functioning involves employing some set of defense mechanisms and learned reactions. Part of that in the past may have been developing an affinity for computers. It can be hard to navigate a world in which most people seem to understand more about interpersonal interaction than you do, and/or where most people are cool with ambiguities that don't make sense to you. These strategies take up a lot of CPU power in your brain, and can (among a whole host of other things) make your memory more foggy because you are busy spending all your time in a kind of low-level survival mode.
As an aside, poor autobiographical memory is a really common side effect of ADHD, a condition which can be philosophically framed as having a difficult time connecting to the past or future as well as other people can.
In relation to what GP was talking about, if you have spent most of your life with either of these conditions it is likely that part of your normal every-day functioning involves employing some set of defense mechanisms and learned reactions. Part of that in the past may have been developing an affinity for computers. It can be hard to navigate a world in which most people seem to understand more about interpersonal interaction than you do, and/or where most people are cool with ambiguities that don't make sense to you. These strategies take up a lot of CPU power in your brain, and can (among a whole host of other things) make your memory more foggy because you are busy spending all your time in a kind of low-level survival mode.
As an aside, poor autobiographical memory is a really common side effect of ADHD, a condition which can be philosophically framed as having a difficult time connecting to the past or future as well as other people can.
Maybe this is not very HN-style of a response, but I want to sincerely thank you for your careful answer. I’m probably learning something about myself just now. Something I’ve always suspected, but didn’t put a finger on it until now. Will investigate this further.
I wasn’t sharp at any age ;-) maybe with programming but not memory.
Are you depressed? Do you have any substance abuse issues? Do you have sleep quality issues? If yes to any of those, bingo, very likely. (Think real hard before saying "no" to any -- these problems can be hard to spot, sometimes.)
If you don't have any of these problems, then, yes, if what you are describing is typical for you, you may have something else going on and potentially worth asking a medical professional about. (And of course, if you do have any of these issues, talk to a medical professional, in any case.)
We all have lapses of memory, but in healthy adults, they tend not to interfere in normal day-to-day functioning.
If you don't have any of these problems, then, yes, if what you are describing is typical for you, you may have something else going on and potentially worth asking a medical professional about. (And of course, if you do have any of these issues, talk to a medical professional, in any case.)
We all have lapses of memory, but in healthy adults, they tend not to interfere in normal day-to-day functioning.
Probably mildly depressed. No substance usage, little alcohol. Perhaps I should moderate even more on sugar consumption though.
Huh. Interesting question. For me, I think I have really good memory for certain things, and fairly spotty memory for others. I've always assumed it was down to a question of focus and interest. That is, things I'm interested in and care more about, I retain more.
Strangely enough, just yesterday I went for a physical. My doctor was talking about something drug related, and like 20 minutes later he said something else, and I interjected with a comment like "Wait, earlier you said X, now you're saying Y, so does that me we could Z?" He goes "wow, you have a good memory." Meh... I don't know about that, but the subject at hand was important and interesting.
OTOH, I feel like I have a lot of trivia stuff into my head, but am pretty bad at what another commenter described as "autobiographical memory". I could tell you nearly nothing about what I did on, say, Monday of this week. I mean, I know I went to work, because I always go to work. But beyond that? Not much. Does that matter? Probably not, because I think it just means nothing particularly interesting or novel happened on Monday. But I could tell you all about the day a few weeks ago when I was driving to work and a mattress (or something) flew off of a truck in front of me and landed in the road right in front of my vehicle and nearly caused a big wreck on the Interstate.
Anyway, at the end of it all, I think the answer to this question is the same as a lot of questions about health issues on the Internet: if you're genuinely worried, go see a licensed medical professional. Maybe it's nothing and you wasted a half day on a doctor's visit. But maybe it's something and going in and getting some kind of treatment will save your life.
Strangely enough, just yesterday I went for a physical. My doctor was talking about something drug related, and like 20 minutes later he said something else, and I interjected with a comment like "Wait, earlier you said X, now you're saying Y, so does that me we could Z?" He goes "wow, you have a good memory." Meh... I don't know about that, but the subject at hand was important and interesting.
OTOH, I feel like I have a lot of trivia stuff into my head, but am pretty bad at what another commenter described as "autobiographical memory". I could tell you nearly nothing about what I did on, say, Monday of this week. I mean, I know I went to work, because I always go to work. But beyond that? Not much. Does that matter? Probably not, because I think it just means nothing particularly interesting or novel happened on Monday. But I could tell you all about the day a few weeks ago when I was driving to work and a mattress (or something) flew off of a truck in front of me and landed in the road right in front of my vehicle and nearly caused a big wreck on the Interstate.
Anyway, at the end of it all, I think the answer to this question is the same as a lot of questions about health issues on the Internet: if you're genuinely worried, go see a licensed medical professional. Maybe it's nothing and you wasted a half day on a doctor's visit. But maybe it's something and going in and getting some kind of treatment will save your life.
Not enough context. Do you only watch football once every four years? Probably you don't care enough and have enough context of strategic moments to create memories. The more you care + context, the better the memory will be, see LeBron + Magnus. { https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG6M2xQZvj0 , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC1BAcOzHyY }
Actually yes, only watch it every four years. More like a world cup kind of guy. But I thought I was interested enough while watching it and that my memory should have retained such a basic fact. Honestly I’ve considered the possibility you mentioned, that it could be related to interest. But I’m afraid it doesn’t explain it all.
> such a basic fact
As GP alluded to, memory in humans is not at all like memory in computers. Do you know a lot about Portugal or Uruguai as countries or cultures? Can you name any players on either of those teams? Could you draw the flags of either of them from memory?
All of those sound like a ton more information to remember than just which country played. And it is. But if you knew that, it would be easier to remember which country played, as human memory is more based on connections than facts.
I only watch soccer during the world cup and possibly half a match if it's on wherever I am. But I can tell you that Japan beat Spain yesterday, which knocked out Germany, because I've been to Japan and Germany in the past, and am actively considering a visit to Spain this coming spring or summer.
Though I don't remember the score of Japan-Spain, or the fourth country in their group. It was a 1 goal differential, so probably 2-1 or 1-0. I care enough about the game to know that it was tense at the end, but not enough to keep track of the individual goals.
As GP alluded to, memory in humans is not at all like memory in computers. Do you know a lot about Portugal or Uruguai as countries or cultures? Can you name any players on either of those teams? Could you draw the flags of either of them from memory?
All of those sound like a ton more information to remember than just which country played. And it is. But if you knew that, it would be easier to remember which country played, as human memory is more based on connections than facts.
I only watch soccer during the world cup and possibly half a match if it's on wherever I am. But I can tell you that Japan beat Spain yesterday, which knocked out Germany, because I've been to Japan and Germany in the past, and am actively considering a visit to Spain this coming spring or summer.
Though I don't remember the score of Japan-Spain, or the fourth country in their group. It was a 1 goal differential, so probably 2-1 or 1-0. I care enough about the game to know that it was tense at the end, but not enough to keep track of the individual goals.
As I got into my 30's, I eventually hit a point where my short-term memory was embarrassingly poor. My brain simply wasn't what it used to be. I started taking a multivitamin most days, and it dramatically improved.
A coworker confided similar fears he was experiencing early-onset Alzheimer's or something. I shared that I had similar experiences and getting more vitamins helped.
I don't know which vitamin(s) I was missing, specifically. I don't know how common this is. But a simple daily multivitamin and a consult with a doctor might fix things.
A coworker confided similar fears he was experiencing early-onset Alzheimer's or something. I shared that I had similar experiences and getting more vitamins helped.
I don't know which vitamin(s) I was missing, specifically. I don't know how common this is. But a simple daily multivitamin and a consult with a doctor might fix things.
Interesting about the multivitamin. Any that you recommend?
From a habit-forming perspective, my household has had a lot of success with gummy multi-vitamins, because they're fun and tasty to take.
In the US, drug stores always seem to have a selection of these.
In the US, drug stores always seem to have a selection of these.
Id recommend one with vitamin B-12 or B complex.
I take winegums, which are chewy sweets with zero vitamins in, but plenty of sugar. Highly recommend it.
I'm about your age now. I had great working memory when I was younger. I can tell mine's has gotten significantly worse since my late 30s over what seems like a gradual decline. Part of that is age. Part of that is that I have dependents and a lot less sleep. I expect mine's to continue declining. Because of these experiences, I definitely appreciate my father more now than when I was a teen. I remembered that he was a lot more careful, mindful, and thoughtful in decisions and actions, whereas I was impatient with what I knew was the right answer (despite that, much of the time, it had more to do with memory).
I've been taking Lion's Mane (mushroom) and Omega-3 EHA+DHA as supplements to help with this. Keep in mind that the value of Lion's Mane is the long-term effect from taking it daily, and that one overdose symptom of Omega-3 DHA is insomnia. I'd really would rather not take caffeine, though the few times I do, I notice that thoughts referencing memories are able to connect better.
I've been taking Lion's Mane (mushroom) and Omega-3 EHA+DHA as supplements to help with this. Keep in mind that the value of Lion's Mane is the long-term effect from taking it daily, and that one overdose symptom of Omega-3 DHA is insomnia. I'd really would rather not take caffeine, though the few times I do, I notice that thoughts referencing memories are able to connect better.
I just started on Lion’s mane (1:1 hot water extract, 450mg/day) and I already notice the effects on memory improvement. How long have you took it for the benefits to last? And what would your advice be about the ideal dosage? I am already taking fish oil, combined with a good diet and workout thrice a week. After taking lion’s mane I could feel what mentioned about the “great working memory when I was younger”. I just want this to last long.
I have been getting more and more episodes of "not remembering the obvious", I forget words and even big events like the mode of transport (plane, train) I used on a trip. I started to forget things more and more while I used to have a very precise memory, but lately it's been failing on some things. It worries me. I don't use any substances but I used to do a little bit of alcohol abuse in college. The main factors that I suspect might be - diet rich in sugars, absence of any physical activity, a few years of semi-depression that is getting better now and an insane amount of stress that makes me rather numb. But yes, this is a new thing for me.
I can relate to what you’re saying. My memory was never stellar, but it took a hit during the pandemic, I suspect. Some of the reasons you’ve mentioned (more sedentarism, a certain level of depression) has certainly affected many of us.
Oh, man, yes. My memory is pretty bad. Especially, it turns out, with coding stuff.
I recently started to record myself making coding projects. It’s been really enlightening about some of my bad habits. For example, I look EVERYTHING up with a search. I knew that I did this, but, watching myself, I’m learning it’s worse than I imagined.
Also, boy do I ignore my editor and let it work against me instead of for me. I gotta fix that.
You can watch me struggle on YouTube if you want to see what I’m talking about. Most of my videos are scheduled to come out in the next few weeks.
http://youtube.com/codazoda
I recently started to record myself making coding projects. It’s been really enlightening about some of my bad habits. For example, I look EVERYTHING up with a search. I knew that I did this, but, watching myself, I’m learning it’s worse than I imagined.
Also, boy do I ignore my editor and let it work against me instead of for me. I gotta fix that.
You can watch me struggle on YouTube if you want to see what I’m talking about. Most of my videos are scheduled to come out in the next few weeks.
http://youtube.com/codazoda
Honestly in some ways, I think having a poor memory actually makes me a better engineer. For example, out of necessity I always thoroughly comment my code and write descriptive commit messages, even for solo projects. This is especially important for background context which isn't readily apparent just from the code itself, as that context is easily forgotten.
Regarding ignoring your editor: I do that on purpose! I avoid use of many IDE features, especially when learning a new large codebase. I find that after grep'ing for some method enough times, I'm more likely to memorize its location; eventually I develop the muscle memory for going to the right file, as well as a more complete understanding of the codebase's layout and design.
In contrast, if I lean on IDE jump-to-definition features, I find that memorizing the codebase layout is completely hopeless for me. The IDE then becomes a crutch which also impedes my ability to get an intuitive feel for the architecture.
Regarding ignoring your editor: I do that on purpose! I avoid use of many IDE features, especially when learning a new large codebase. I find that after grep'ing for some method enough times, I'm more likely to memorize its location; eventually I develop the muscle memory for going to the right file, as well as a more complete understanding of the codebase's layout and design.
In contrast, if I lean on IDE jump-to-definition features, I find that memorizing the codebase layout is completely hopeless for me. The IDE then becomes a crutch which also impedes my ability to get an intuitive feel for the architecture.
I'm like this. I've been paid to write code in perhaps ten to twelve languages over a twenty-two year career but if you put me in front of a blank notepad.exe and told me to solve fizzbuzz in any language I chose, I'd struggle to complete it in any of them without made-up function names or incorrect syntax or something. I constantly crib from surrounding code, and google the basics, copy-paste a starter block, or rely more than usual on autocomplete when starting from scratch.
I'm entirely sure I convinced one interviewer I was one of those much-feared "fakers" when I used the wrong method invocation syntax in a language I'd worked in for years and had written code in as recently as the prior week.
I'm entirely sure I convinced one interviewer I was one of those much-feared "fakers" when I used the wrong method invocation syntax in a language I'd worked in for years and had written code in as recently as the prior week.
I think this is also related more with the un precedented proliferation of technology in our lives. With land based telephone we used to be pretty comfortable with remembering atleast a few contacts we frequently talked with.. with cellphones I dont think anyone bothers with that any longer. Same with anniversaries and reminders etc.. put it in an app and forget about it. The app will remind you when its time. Proliferation of these devices has led to another proliferation — ad based content and competition for attention. We are consuming just soooo much of content nowadays, the rate of data input has gone through the roof. And most of it is pure junk.. all the news, the tweets, the netflix/prime/Disney content etc that we consume— its probably overwhelming our brains. We are offloading all the important stuff to devices in return for trash that our minds find no value in. I feel this is making our memories more ephemeral and we are slowly moving from ours minds being long term stores of value to short term stores of junk. Its a behavior modification at scale that probably no one realizes is happening
In all my prior jobs, I was able to focus deeply on one or two things; picking up a new language over the weekend was not a big deal if instrumental to some goal I was working towards.
Some time ago, I took a position at a large financial company and do nothing but shuffle from meeting to meeting on wholly unrelated topics. Between the stress and constant context switching, my memory is useless in or out of work.
So, just wondering if you are in an environment with stress and constant context-switching?
Some time ago, I took a position at a large financial company and do nothing but shuffle from meeting to meeting on wholly unrelated topics. Between the stress and constant context switching, my memory is useless in or out of work.
So, just wondering if you are in an environment with stress and constant context-switching?
Not necessarily at work, but I have too many interests in my personal life, and also some serious family issues that are stressing and saddening to me. So many topics and thoughts in my mind all the time. I guess our brain doesn’t care if the load is from work or private life.
I don't know how I get through life, really. I can't recognize faces or names, even to the extent that my mother could walk past and I might not know her.
I'm good on many kinds of facts though and have good analytical skills, and see very deeply into both things and people.
Therefore I use my instant-to-instant consciousness to keep me safe in a world I have to continuously reassess... do goldfish have similar experiences?
I can't recognize faces or names, even to the extent that my mother could walk past and I might not know her.
If you aren't familiar with the term, you might look up faceblindness. There are support groups.
If you aren't familiar with the term, you might look up faceblindness. There are support groups.
:) thanks :)
I, too, am 41. For the last five years, I've noticed that my mental performance has become more sensitive to physical changes. I had a particularly bad day with my memory one day when I woke up an hour earlier than I normally do. Another time, my wife had to point out that I hadn't eaten in 12 hours when I complained I was feeling worn out (I didn't think I was hungry). If I'm stressed, sleeping poorly, haven't exercised in a while, or haven't eaten well then I will at turns having trouble focusing, thinking, remembering, or even having energy. It's been a long time since looking good as been my primary motivator for going to the gym.
I suggest, if you get to a point where you're concerned about your mental performance, examine these physical factors to see how you're doing. Stress in particular can creep on you. If you're only going on vacations for family events and not taking time off for your own mental health you may be more stressed than you even realize.
I suggest, if you get to a point where you're concerned about your mental performance, examine these physical factors to see how you're doing. Stress in particular can creep on you. If you're only going on vacations for family events and not taking time off for your own mental health you may be more stressed than you even realize.
Same. Physically, feeling old: slow, tight, missing energy, etc. Go for a run one weekend. Stretch after. Back to normal. Never before felt like this. Never been fixed so fast. Like I needed some fresh oil flushed through the system. Rot quicker. Dust off easy. Swap the deodorant for wd-40 maybe.
I've heard hormone therapy can help that. My father in law did it at fifty and he said it made him feel a lot younger.
There are studies looking at financial decisions by age. IIRC, one concluded that before age 25, investment outcomes are still ramping up. Between 25 and 65-70, investment outcomes are fairly flat. But they also concluded cognitive abilities peak in the early fourties. The explanation given in the study I read is that by that time, experience takes over to smooth things over. (One issue I had with this study was that I'm not sure they controlled for macroeconomic cycle; it was a very concentrated cohort in time.)
My own thoughts: If society indeed needs both analytical skills and quick decisions, it's clearly better to have old/experienced people be the ones to rely on gut feeling, than the younger population. It's possible that the ability to learn is designed to diminish with age, sacrificing accuracy for speed. And so I'm rationalizing my own cognitive decline with "I'm not alone" and "it's meant to be." ;)
My own thoughts: If society indeed needs both analytical skills and quick decisions, it's clearly better to have old/experienced people be the ones to rely on gut feeling, than the younger population. It's possible that the ability to learn is designed to diminish with age, sacrificing accuracy for speed. And so I'm rationalizing my own cognitive decline with "I'm not alone" and "it's meant to be." ;)
36, relatable. My recall and retention both seem to improve with all the basic (yet rarely completely implemented) grandmotherly advice you can imagine: sleep regularly, enjoy as much daylight as possible, exercise daily, eat the rainbow, meditate (ok, grandma never included this one), spend time with people that make you feel good.
Get checked for ADHD. I thought my memory was awful, and in some ways it is, but there's so much more to it than that. At 44 I was diagnosed, and 1.5 years later I'm learning so much about how it affects my every day life.
Of course, hitting 40 is part of the equation, but the way you described it sounded pretty familiar.
Of course, hitting 40 is part of the equation, but the way you described it sounded pretty familiar.
I really appreciate this tip. There could definitely be something like that that hasn’t been identified until now. I thought ADHD was only for hyperactive people, but it seems that it doesn’t have to be the case always.
It's definitely not what you think it is, or what I thought it was for that matter.
This page really helped me to see it for what it was, and then go get diagnosed. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/adhd-what-you-n...
This page really helped me to see it for what it was, and then go get diagnosed. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/adhd-what-you-n...
Looks like selective memory, football is quite insignificant to your own life, so your memory skips it
Same thing for the name of someone, or other things not crucial even in your job
I think it can be even be a good thing to be able to ignore these "distractive" pieces of informations to better focus on important things
Same thing for the name of someone, or other things not crucial even in your job
I think it can be even be a good thing to be able to ignore these "distractive" pieces of informations to better focus on important things
Around 35 years old I realized I have a nasty soy sensitivity. And as I have become able to rule it out of my life, my memory is becoming fantastic.
It makes me wonder what my life could have been if I knew when I was young, but it's all bonus to me.
Sorry to brag but it's one of the best things in my life.
It makes me wonder what my life could have been if I knew when I was young, but it's all bonus to me.
Sorry to brag but it's one of the best things in my life.
I’d love to know what made you notice this, and able to identify soy as the problem. Presumably it was more than just memory issues that tipped you off?
It took me about 10 years, more or less. The first pieces of data were jokes about rushing home with a sour stomach from yet another sushi date night. A scary optical aura and migraine was the event that got me taking notes and ruling things out. I had a huge dose of soy and my vision kinda went out for 30 minutes. Scary.
If I eat less soy, like say eating someone's homemade bread made with soy vegetable oil (which is the most likely one), I'll get brain fog, and about 5 days later eczema.
Multiple times I have deliberately eaten soy and logged the effects. I'm about 90% confident it's soy at this point. I'm a skeptic and still feel it could be some other factor but I am highly confident.
Avoiding soy is difficult. Especially for someone that loves chocolate.
If I eat less soy, like say eating someone's homemade bread made with soy vegetable oil (which is the most likely one), I'll get brain fog, and about 5 days later eczema.
Multiple times I have deliberately eaten soy and logged the effects. I'm about 90% confident it's soy at this point. I'm a skeptic and still feel it could be some other factor but I am highly confident.
Avoiding soy is difficult. Especially for someone that loves chocolate.
Bad (and/or slow) memory too. By slow I mean I’ll remember later but not when needed.
With football, if you are not into it I think it is OK not to remember. Often there is peer pressure to watch this stuff. Can’t wait till it is over so I can hide my lack of interest in other people playing sports.
I print out stuff to remember who is in what team as the teams shuffle around alot.
BBC has a puff piece saying eat blueberries and green tea, guess there is not much to lose trying that.
My issue is yes I can remember stuff if I try but I don’t soak up everything in realtime. In conversation I am either paying attention or remembering details but not both.
Not sure on the answer!
More sleep, healthy diet I guess!
With football, if you are not into it I think it is OK not to remember. Often there is peer pressure to watch this stuff. Can’t wait till it is over so I can hide my lack of interest in other people playing sports.
I print out stuff to remember who is in what team as the teams shuffle around alot.
BBC has a puff piece saying eat blueberries and green tea, guess there is not much to lose trying that.
My issue is yes I can remember stuff if I try but I don’t soak up everything in realtime. In conversation I am either paying attention or remembering details but not both.
Not sure on the answer!
More sleep, healthy diet I guess!
People around me have started really forgetting things, to the point where I've had to remind a co-worker twice in the space of 5 minutes what they were supposed to be doing, or repeating conversations I had with friends a few weeks ago to remind them what we discussed.
Myself, I don't have any issues, my recall is pretty decent for most things, such as counting back the meals I've eaten over the past week and with whom. Mind you, I'm the only one who regularly plays computer games, exercises and balances their meals.
What kinds of games do you play?
Yes, absolutely, and impacted significantly by COVID and working from home. Some of it is getting better, but at 53, my recall and ability to pick up the minutiae of IT stuff is not what it used to be.
I have sharp memory about stuff I actually actively care about when I am not tired.
When tired, or when not interested really (like binge watching youtube smartness) I forget everything.
Is this something that is relevant in your case?
When tired, or when not interested really (like binge watching youtube smartness) I forget everything.
Is this something that is relevant in your case?
Sort of. The things you care about, do you remember a good amount of details, you think? For example, reading a book related to your favourite topic? I’m not sure that even then my memory is good enough.
It’s never been great. I can barely remember what I did over the weekend or if I read a book I can’t remember what happened in it, just that I liked it. Asked my dad about it and he said he’s always been the same way which made me feel quite a bit better. On the flip side I’m great at remembering where I put things or where things are. I have piles of crap I can instantly recall the contents of when needed. When my SO cleans though it throws me for a loop.
> Does anyone else have a similar struggle and is there anything you think I could do about it?
Yeah sounds like we're in a similar boat. My forgetfulness has been like a tragic running joke with friends and family. It's been less of a problem at work due to notes and project planning.
I just treat everything like work now and keep a pen and notebook/bookmark in my pocket at all times. Have so for about 15 years now. It mitigates most of the issue.
Yeah sounds like we're in a similar boat. My forgetfulness has been like a tragic running joke with friends and family. It's been less of a problem at work due to notes and project planning.
I just treat everything like work now and keep a pen and notebook/bookmark in my pocket at all times. Have so for about 15 years now. It mitigates most of the issue.
Absolutely! I'm 40 years old exact and I've never had a particularly good short term memory. In meetings, I have to write every new piece of information down in notes, otherwise it's gone completely. Fortunately, i have excellent long term memory, so once something gets in there I can remember it forever.
In grade school and college, I had excellent reasoning skills but my short term memory was pretty average or less than average.
In grade school and college, I had excellent reasoning skills but my short term memory was pretty average or less than average.
One thing I found out that made me feel much better about my memory is that I have a GREAT memory for things I personally care about. Stuff I don't care about is gone, poof. Oh well, it can always be found later. Names I've always struggled with, that's probably something different. If you're forgetting stuff that doesn't really matter who cares?
I have bad memory at times. Mostly concerned when I forget something I know well.
The other day I forgot the word "distributed system",which I use a lot. Felt embarrassing.
I noticed it's way worse when I don't sleep.
I have serious dust mites allergy, I wonder if that has a great effect (my nose is always partially blocked).
When I code I work well, I seem to remember a lot of details, to the point it surprises me.
I noticed it's way worse when I don't sleep.
I have serious dust mites allergy, I wonder if that has a great effect (my nose is always partially blocked).
When I code I work well, I seem to remember a lot of details, to the point it surprises me.
Try learning a new language with Anki or something that you have to actually memorize.
I thought my memory was going to shit too but I am pretty sure I basically took 15 years off from even attempting to memorize anything.
4 months of Anki and I feel as sharp as ever. I wouldn't doubt memory is not that much different than sitting on the couch all day and then wondering why you can't run a mile like you use to.
I thought my memory was going to shit too but I am pretty sure I basically took 15 years off from even attempting to memorize anything.
4 months of Anki and I feel as sharp as ever. I wouldn't doubt memory is not that much different than sitting on the couch all day and then wondering why you can't run a mile like you use to.
Just turned 39 and I'd say my memory is sharper than it ever was, assuming that I'm in a sharp state of mind and not dozing off.
I think the secret is to keep your mind active - if you regularly try to remember stuff you haven't thought about it in a while, access to those memories becomes more readily available.
I think the secret is to keep your mind active - if you regularly try to remember stuff you haven't thought about it in a while, access to those memories becomes more readily available.
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Yup, it's been improving again lately, had to take close to a year off due to burnout, also vitamins, sport, sleep, and more time with irl friends/coworkers.
Now back to a point that feels like 80% of preburnout.
Check your blood B12 vitamin. Make sure you're at least that triple of the recommended minimum levels. Take 10000mcg suplements if necessary. There is no risk of overdose.
I forgot the question.
I write almost everything down. I take notes everyday ha.
Yes, very bad memory with regards to details. Which makes it frustrating listening to people here rave about command line utilities and vim shortcuts.
Yeah I have terrible memory the last few years. I attribute it to low-key depression as in.. am I even interested in remembering this?
"Bro, 39, it ain't 29,"
- Shaquille O'Neal
- Shaquille O'Neal
Did you care about the match at all? The mind aggresively prunes information that have no utility for you.
After having kid my memory, well actually my physical health has been on a straight down hill jog.
I'm the same age as you, and it depends on context. As a kid I could remember pretty much everything, and as I got old my attention span has slipped and I can easily forget stuff that someone JUST told me. I see it more as a case of forgetting to pay attention more than anything.
Random fact that interest me, those stick around for years with no effort.
For work, and I suspect that what you care most about: Take notes, always be taking notes. Doesn't matter where, as long as you can look things up relatively easy. This is something I've just started doing a few months ago and it has helped immensely. It can even make you look like a blood genius when you can hand over a complete set of meeting notes to your boss. I'm sure it's not for everyone, but it helps me stay focus on the person who's talking and having notes is a godsend if you're in a meeting regarding a task you won't be working on right away.
TLDR; You're probably fine, but consider if you're paying attention to what you're doing and regardless: For work, always take notes, it will help you.
Random fact that interest me, those stick around for years with no effort.
For work, and I suspect that what you care most about: Take notes, always be taking notes. Doesn't matter where, as long as you can look things up relatively easy. This is something I've just started doing a few months ago and it has helped immensely. It can even make you look like a blood genius when you can hand over a complete set of meeting notes to your boss. I'm sure it's not for everyone, but it helps me stay focus on the person who's talking and having notes is a godsend if you're in a meeting regarding a task you won't be working on right away.
TLDR; You're probably fine, but consider if you're paying attention to what you're doing and regardless: For work, always take notes, it will help you.
I’ve noticed this since the lockdowns in 2020/21. We were locked down quite heavily in the UK and the days just started to blend into one. So it’s understandable that my memory during that period would not be great, particularly recalling when things happened. However - since we got back to normal it hasn’t recovered. I forget half the things that happened in the last year until I see photos reminding me. Stuff that feels like it happened recently happened a year or two ago, and vice versa. My partner has the exact same issue.
I was pro lockdown (until we got the population vaccinated) and I still believe that was the right thing to do. But I also think there are knock on effects small and large that we are going to feel for a long time. My memory being out of whack is definitely one and I’m curious if anyone else has seen a similar change?
I was pro lockdown (until we got the population vaccinated) and I still believe that was the right thing to do. But I also think there are knock on effects small and large that we are going to feel for a long time. My memory being out of whack is definitely one and I’m curious if anyone else has seen a similar change?
-Ask HN: Is your memory as bad as mine?-
I dont remember
I dont remember
did u get covid?
I do generally have an OK working memory, have a decent paying job, but frequent lapses like that one worry me.
Does anyone else have a similar struggle and is there anything you think I could do about it?