Ask HN: How do you find time for everything in life?
56 comments
You had time to think up that question and write it out. Was that not very much time? Did it not get interrupted?
I’m a stranger on the internet, so take it or leave it, but since you asked, here’s a hot take:
You aren’t being honest with yourself about how you spend your time. Reread your own question. 17 waking hours. Did you account for them all in your post? You listed a lot of things you don’t waste time on. A lot.
So what are you spending your time on?
What are you leaving out?
Try writing it down. Yeah, that’s stupid. But either you need some insight into how you’re spending your time, or the exercise will get you thinking about something you haven’t been.
That’s all just nonsense from a stranger though, so if it doesn’t resonate with you, maybe it missed the mark.
I’m a stranger on the internet, so take it or leave it, but since you asked, here’s a hot take:
You aren’t being honest with yourself about how you spend your time. Reread your own question. 17 waking hours. Did you account for them all in your post? You listed a lot of things you don’t waste time on. A lot.
So what are you spending your time on?
What are you leaving out?
Try writing it down. Yeah, that’s stupid. But either you need some insight into how you’re spending your time, or the exercise will get you thinking about something you haven’t been.
That’s all just nonsense from a stranger though, so if it doesn’t resonate with you, maybe it missed the mark.
I agree with this method. In high school I tracked what I did every hour for 3 months. Probably over the top, but seeing the hours add up of watching TV--or just killing time--was what I needed. All these years later that exercise stays with me.
The trick for me was to only be able to see one day at a time until the end of the month. I would record a day and think "I'll do better tomorrow." Only to realize that today is always yesterday's tomorrow.
The trick for me was to only be able to see one day at a time until the end of the month. I would record a day and think "I'll do better tomorrow." Only to realize that today is always yesterday's tomorrow.
7 hours a night doesn’t sound great. Maybe he’s just bagged from sleep deprivation and caffeine abuse and the hours are whiled away in the default mode network, scrutinizing the ceiling?
Better to work one hour on one thing that’s truly important, and give it your all, than spend 4 hours trying to bang through an endless list of obligations using the Seinfeld method. I speak from experience as someone who tried the latter.
Better to work one hour on one thing that’s truly important, and give it your all, than spend 4 hours trying to bang through an endless list of obligations using the Seinfeld method. I speak from experience as someone who tried the latter.
7 hours is plenty for some, torture for others.
Not that I have time for everything with how much I get.
Not that I have time for everything with how much I get.
Scheduling is your friend on so many levels. Set a schedule and include your leisure activities.
What happens if you get busied up with chores and life and can't do your leisure activity? Write it down. Now you know where your time is going, and can schedule THAT too.
Also, a tip: make the chores your significant other dislikes your top priority. Oft appreciated and will mean you both reap the benefits instead of just you.
What happens if you get busied up with chores and life and can't do your leisure activity? Write it down. Now you know where your time is going, and can schedule THAT too.
Also, a tip: make the chores your significant other dislikes your top priority. Oft appreciated and will mean you both reap the benefits instead of just you.
I don’t get it too! There are people who seem to do all the things: multiple major holidays per year, fitness, kids, high work output, up to speed with everything on all streaming services, looks like a duck smoothly going over water. Good for them.
I get basics done. I do make time for gym twice a week 50 mins and side project 10 or more min per day. I watch to zone out, usually some fictional cop shows with limited number of characters. Happy with those really.
I get basics done. I do make time for gym twice a week 50 mins and side project 10 or more min per day. I watch to zone out, usually some fictional cop shows with limited number of characters. Happy with those really.
But the productivity level of some people lol I can't even figure it out. And they will mention being married and having kids... And pets... They workout 4 - 5 days a week... Work full-time... Handle half the chores around the house... Take the dog on 45 min walk every day... And then have time for like three decently involved technical hobbies??? What... I end every day wondering where in the holy fuck the time went and how I accomplish so little EVERY. DAMN. DAY. For years and years now... How do they do it?! I swear we are in a simulation and they are just NPCs lol
I think a lot of people like this will have no health problems, no bad emotional problems and be on the lower end of sleep requirements. They will have the makeup for modern life! That said us with lower energy envelope (or intact everyone really) has to prioritise and choose. Leverage compound interest: one side project for 4 years is going to look amazing vs. keep starting. Mortgage over renting (generally ymmv), and so on. Just got to optimise for number one and forget about the superheros!
They also have the money to pay other people to do the boring stuff + partner who does the heavy lifting at home.
Be skeptical. People lie about stuff all the time.
You may be comparing what you do in one day to what others do over a longer timeframe. Having three decently involved technical hobbies doesn’t mean you have to do all of them at once. Build momentum over a month or two at least.
You don’t know what's going on behind the scenes either. Everyone has problems, everyone has worries, everyone has inefficiencies. People put up facades.
I feel like I've gotten pretty good at juggling multiple things over time. Back when I was in uni, I was studying psychology while working as a junior developer, learning new programming languages, and working on non-profit side projects. And now that I've started my "real" career, I'm balancing work, non-profits, dating, hitting the gym, and hanging out with friends.
Here are some lessons and things that have helped me along the way:
(1) Taking care of energy levels and mood is top priority. I think being productive is more about these things than making more time. Can be done via: regular physical activity, sleep quality, journaling, supplements, supportive group of friends.
(2) Knowing WHY you want to do these things is super crucial (+ making sure that it’s actually aligned with your values and goals and vision for the future)
(3) Not having unrealistic expectations for myself - I've learned the hard way that this is a surefire way to burn out.
(4) Knowing my best hours of the day and using that "premium" time on what's most important. For me, that's from 8-12 in the morning, right after my walk and coffee.
(5) Being in front of a computer for a long time can be languorous so if your extra activities also involve cognitive work in front of a screen the solution is to mix in something different like a walk or even a shower, etc.
(6) Making it fun - I'm a bit of a nerd for pens and paper, so I take my notes by hand even though it's slower and harder to move information around. But I just love how it feels to write on real paper, so learning is more fun that way.
(7) Combining things - like listening to podcasts while on the treadmill or doing projects with friends.
(8) Having a partner that shares your goals/way of living/hobbies/interests is a killer life hack for doing more things. For example, trying to flirt in German with the 400 words you know is so much more fun than just doing flashcards.
(9) Outsourcing whatever I can.
(10) Remembering that I don't have to do everything - doing one more thing than I've been doing before is good enough.
Hope that helps!
Here are some lessons and things that have helped me along the way:
(1) Taking care of energy levels and mood is top priority. I think being productive is more about these things than making more time. Can be done via: regular physical activity, sleep quality, journaling, supplements, supportive group of friends.
(2) Knowing WHY you want to do these things is super crucial (+ making sure that it’s actually aligned with your values and goals and vision for the future)
(3) Not having unrealistic expectations for myself - I've learned the hard way that this is a surefire way to burn out.
(4) Knowing my best hours of the day and using that "premium" time on what's most important. For me, that's from 8-12 in the morning, right after my walk and coffee.
(5) Being in front of a computer for a long time can be languorous so if your extra activities also involve cognitive work in front of a screen the solution is to mix in something different like a walk or even a shower, etc.
(6) Making it fun - I'm a bit of a nerd for pens and paper, so I take my notes by hand even though it's slower and harder to move information around. But I just love how it feels to write on real paper, so learning is more fun that way.
(7) Combining things - like listening to podcasts while on the treadmill or doing projects with friends.
(8) Having a partner that shares your goals/way of living/hobbies/interests is a killer life hack for doing more things. For example, trying to flirt in German with the 400 words you know is so much more fun than just doing flashcards.
(9) Outsourcing whatever I can.
(10) Remembering that I don't have to do everything - doing one more thing than I've been doing before is good enough.
Hope that helps!
This reply is gold but I’d flip the second part of 10 on its head; less really is more.
What do you do between 7-12am every evening? What do you do with your weekends?
98/100 it's a motivation problem, not a time problem until you have kids etc. Doesn't sound like you do anything?
98/100 it's a motivation problem, not a time problem until you have kids etc. Doesn't sound like you do anything?
> How do you find time for everything in life?
I don't. I have to prioritize what is most important, and let the other stuff drop.
Such is life.
I don't. I have to prioritize what is most important, and let the other stuff drop.
Such is life.
> So I’m either terrible with time management
Nope.
Most probably you’re either don’t really want what you say and think you want. Or something else is sucking up your mental or physical energy.
Nope.
Most probably you’re either don’t really want what you say and think you want. Or something else is sucking up your mental or physical energy.
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get off yt/tt/tw/ig/etc. not kind of off, not less. hard off.
make non-critical communications poll not push. poll less frequently.
replace the parts of your day that make you sad with something else. experiment.
if you are financially secure(ish), do all this aggressively.
make non-critical communications poll not push. poll less frequently.
replace the parts of your day that make you sad with something else. experiment.
if you are financially secure(ish), do all this aggressively.
I don't know what any of those stand for besides YouTube but probably 90% of my YouTube time is learning for my job. Random shit but it is for my job... So I can't drop that. Still gotta figure out where the time is going...
Try cocaine! Just kidding, but in all seriousness it sounds like you’re lacking energy and focus, not time or motivation.
There are numerous strategies you can use to increase those. Some include exercise (you’ll be trading time for long term health, energy, and discipline, but it is practically always worth it), meditation (this will help you build that focus muscle and also learn to let go of unhelpful or unrealistic expectations), and various energy management techniques like bifurcating your day into daily maintenance activities (chores, work, food) and contiguous time you set aside just for yourself.
There are numerous strategies you can use to increase those. Some include exercise (you’ll be trading time for long term health, energy, and discipline, but it is practically always worth it), meditation (this will help you build that focus muscle and also learn to let go of unhelpful or unrealistic expectations), and various energy management techniques like bifurcating your day into daily maintenance activities (chores, work, food) and contiguous time you set aside just for yourself.
Decrease working hours. Unless you have unusually high energy levels, full-time work is the grip of death.
I've accepted I don't have time to do everything I want. IN spite of that I feel like a lot of time is just disappearing. I've started tracking time over the passed couple of weeks using timery on ios and looking at my screen time usage on my phone. Turns out I spend a lot more time on Youtube and podcasts then I thought. Work is not more then 40 hours either. I haven't done anything about this data yet but at least I know what's happening.
We are so good at collecting the data about the things we need to change... But acting on that data? Eh... Lol
I use Getting Things Done (or my own lazy and imperfect interpretation so far! :p ;) xx ;p) which is really really good. But also I use a lot of iOS/MacOS Reminders app, scheduled emails and so on to take stuff off my mind and make it come back when I need it.
You didn't mention how much time you spend working per week? It sounds as if it could be a boundary thing: maybe you allow your work time to "creep into" your other things / the rest of your life: "just one more thing"
I certainly find I procrastinate hard / scary tasks, by doing things which I don't really like but which are less scary / hard. Maybe try some reading on procrastination, the psychology of it. I find meditation gives me "more time" as well, in that my bandwidth is lager, my mind is clearer, and it's equivalent to, after a session, coming back "refreshed and ready to go". I'm more productive with the time I have, and I have more time. Meditation has really high ROI for time.
I also chunk things into tiny tasks. And if I'm avoiding something, it's often because I haven't chunked it into the smallest "next achievable step" yet.
Best of luck to you!
You didn't mention how much time you spend working per week? It sounds as if it could be a boundary thing: maybe you allow your work time to "creep into" your other things / the rest of your life: "just one more thing"
I certainly find I procrastinate hard / scary tasks, by doing things which I don't really like but which are less scary / hard. Maybe try some reading on procrastination, the psychology of it. I find meditation gives me "more time" as well, in that my bandwidth is lager, my mind is clearer, and it's equivalent to, after a session, coming back "refreshed and ready to go". I'm more productive with the time I have, and I have more time. Meditation has really high ROI for time.
I also chunk things into tiny tasks. And if I'm avoiding something, it's often because I haven't chunked it into the smallest "next achievable step" yet.
Best of luck to you!
The simple answer is that you don’t find time for everything, and you never will.
Schedule each day in a calendar and put as much effort into planning not to do things as you do into planning to do things. Accept that there’s a season for everything, and not only can you not do it all at once, you can’t do it all, period. And that’s okay. Real achievement comes from sacrifice, not the eager experience hoarding of a dilettante.
Schedule each day in a calendar and put as much effort into planning not to do things as you do into planning to do things. Accept that there’s a season for everything, and not only can you not do it all at once, you can’t do it all, period. And that’s okay. Real achievement comes from sacrifice, not the eager experience hoarding of a dilettante.
I should add that you need to manage your energy as well as your time but that will follow naturally from a virtuous cycle of day planning and review.
I aggressively use my calendar for everything. Every day is planned. This helps me see when i do or don't have free time, and, importantly, gives me no excuse to say "I didn't have the time!"
But at the end of the day is this living?
I also passed through a phase in which I felt like I had to account for every second in a day. Not anymore.
I try to keep my calendar open and prioritize things that I really enjoy doing + self-care.
I also passed through a phase in which I felt like I had to account for every second in a day. Not anymore.
I try to keep my calendar open and prioritize things that I really enjoy doing + self-care.
Moderation is key. On the one hand a high cadence plan/act/review cycle is rocket fuel for personal productivity, and nothing forces you to manage focus and flow as well as blocks in a calendar, but on the other hand you need to space things out, manage energy, and give yourself some room to breathe. Otherwise the parts of your brain that aren’t planning your every waking moment will eventually rebel.
Things had changed after I found out that I should stop chasing for happiness and start Doing.
I changed my attitude towards work.things that helped me:
Instead of thinking mundane things I have to do this, do that to I GET to do this.
Able to things without getting motivated like going to gym.
Cutting myself from distractible things.
What important to have is not motivation but self discipline.
Instead of thinking mundane things I have to do this, do that to I GET to do this.
Able to things without getting motivated like going to gym.
Cutting myself from distractible things.
What important to have is not motivation but self discipline.
Might be more useful to say how you do spend your time. Keep track for a couple weeks. Are you spending a lot of time on your phone? Download a tracker app to see how much time you spend on various apps or websites.
There is no "spare time", there is only "time".
You're either wanking away the time with indecision over what to do (I speak from experience, used to do that before my son was born :P), or you're not that interested in whatever you think you want to do.
I used to have trouble motivating myself to stick with a hobby (that I was really generally very fond of) and do it consistently over months. Now, I get maybe 30 min a day (bonus luxury when it's in one batch...), and I don't have to motivate myself - I just do, because my brain is burning for action ;)
Edit: or are you falling in the rabbit hole of "just 5 minutes on tiktok/yt/etc...oh my, it's 2h later"?
You're either wanking away the time with indecision over what to do (I speak from experience, used to do that before my son was born :P), or you're not that interested in whatever you think you want to do.
I used to have trouble motivating myself to stick with a hobby (that I was really generally very fond of) and do it consistently over months. Now, I get maybe 30 min a day (bonus luxury when it's in one batch...), and I don't have to motivate myself - I just do, because my brain is burning for action ;)
Edit: or are you falling in the rabbit hole of "just 5 minutes on tiktok/yt/etc...oh my, it's 2h later"?
Well, now tell us how much time you spend on YT, Shorts, Reels, TikTok and twitter combined
If it's more than 2h, u should either block them or restrict the time
And maybe one more thing: it can depends where you live. In EU many can buy groceries by walking 5mins to nearby store, when in us it's a 20-30 min car trip, maybe this can also be a factor
Married and have a kid. Basically 1-2 hours per day.
1-2 hours but most of time too tired to focus on a side project. hoping it gets better when kids go to school...
Yeah too tired sometimes. Mine is 2.5 and I can say it doesn't necessarily improves when kid grows up. You get new problems every once for a while.
i've often left jobs, so i've taken lots of unpaid sabbaticals -- pre-retirements.
i don't know how it's really possible to live a full life otherwise, unless you're insane, doing coke, or used to burning out over and over again.
my project https://nomeetingsfriday.com/ is a small step towards a 4-day work week, which in theory helps free up some time for people, but also helps to continue to shift us away from capitalism and markets and workism towards socialism and humans and relationships.
i don't know how it's really possible to live a full life otherwise, unless you're insane, doing coke, or used to burning out over and over again.
my project https://nomeetingsfriday.com/ is a small step towards a 4-day work week, which in theory helps free up some time for people, but also helps to continue to shift us away from capitalism and markets and workism towards socialism and humans and relationships.
> 4-day work week
I would never pick Friday for the day off personally; I do Mondays. In the weekend people have been thinking and fretting and recharging, so, at least in my experience, people want most meetings, calls, discussions on Monday. On Tuesday it rapidly collapses until its tumbleweeds on Friday. So Monday is a great day to not be available imho.
I would never pick Friday for the day off personally; I do Mondays. In the weekend people have been thinking and fretting and recharging, so, at least in my experience, people want most meetings, calls, discussions on Monday. On Tuesday it rapidly collapses until its tumbleweeds on Friday. So Monday is a great day to not be available imho.
What do you do?
Every time I’ve got free time - I spend it either on one of my side projects or blogs. The problem is I can’t get a good chuck of uninterrupted free time.
> Side projects and blogs
As in, multiple different side projects and multiple different blogs?
Maybe that's your problem. Pick one. One side project or one blog, and park the rest.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/One-Thing-Surprisingly-Extraordinar...
As in, multiple different side projects and multiple different blogs?
Maybe that's your problem. Pick one. One side project or one blog, and park the rest.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/One-Thing-Surprisingly-Extraordinar...
What are you doing when you are not free? How many hours a week do you work? How much time do you spend with your partner? What about exercise?
What is interrupting you? My guess is that your side projects and blogging are eating up more time than you may realize. Honestly sleep, work, eating, chores and general health and hygiene eat up the majority of a working persons week. If you have kids, pets, a house, loved ones to care for, then kiss any spare time you might have goodbye.
Married and two kids.
And I very often don’t find time.
One learning I had over the years is: A) See where and when you actually spend time or loose time. Just listing YT, Netflix and co is too easiy. Beeing busy surfing, pondering about career changes etc is busywork and uses time/mental energy. B) Don’t push things just to the evening and to the next morning: It won’t happen. Block time either in calendar or somewhere to get it done.
I don’t say it is easy. For me I decided to do a few learning (new language and some personal development with a coach): So I block time as I meet my coach during the week and do some reflection/exercises.
My advice and TLDR: Block time in calendar & take a coach/motivator if you can’t get started.
One learning I had over the years is: A) See where and when you actually spend time or loose time. Just listing YT, Netflix and co is too easiy. Beeing busy surfing, pondering about career changes etc is busywork and uses time/mental energy. B) Don’t push things just to the evening and to the next morning: It won’t happen. Block time either in calendar or somewhere to get it done.
I don’t say it is easy. For me I decided to do a few learning (new language and some personal development with a coach): So I block time as I meet my coach during the week and do some reflection/exercises.
My advice and TLDR: Block time in calendar & take a coach/motivator if you can’t get started.
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You can cut time up into infinitesimal moments and try to fit all the work you can into each hour and minute on the clock face... but I find it doesn't work too well for me.
Time ebbs and flows like a river, better in my case to write down future appointments and tasks. Then throw your heart into the work you want to do in the current moment and mean-time.
It's possible to come to appreciate how much you do, that goes unrecorded and unresolved in the back of your heart, making you think you've done much less than you have... writing down what you have done, helps a lot to clear up mental space to perceive the next step clearly.
Time ebbs and flows like a river, better in my case to write down future appointments and tasks. Then throw your heart into the work you want to do in the current moment and mean-time.
It's possible to come to appreciate how much you do, that goes unrecorded and unresolved in the back of your heart, making you think you've done much less than you have... writing down what you have done, helps a lot to clear up mental space to perceive the next step clearly.
I can attest to time-blocked journaling as having linchpin potential and being one of the greatest foundational habits I have ever adopted.
As another poster notes, it's remarkable how much time I spend on
YouTube. As a child of the 80s I remember it was tough keeping my tv
watching below two hours per day. And that was content of limited
quantity I had no say over.
And yet, I barely find time to work on my side projects, or engage in interesting discussions online, or learn new things.
So I’m either terrible with time management or I spend my free time on useless things. Or both.
Dear HN, how do you find time for side projects, engaging in online discussions, learning new things?