Useful and Overlooked Skills(collabfund.com)
collabfund.com
Useful and Overlooked Skills
https://collabfund.com/blog/useful-and-overlooked-skills/
29 comments
I am dismayed at the number of people I increasingly run into online who I disagree with, where I’m unable to find common ground with. I’m pretty sure this is a result of their online identity being rather narrowly tuned to exclusively present popular frames of mind that I reject wholesale, but I can’t afford to discount the unsettling possibility that it’s me who’s lost the plot.
In the end, I’m only consoled by the fact that I’m the only one of us who’s asking that question. The people I’m referring to are quite certain I’m the villain.
In the end, I’m only consoled by the fact that I’m the only one of us who’s asking that question. The people I’m referring to are quite certain I’m the villain.
This comment reveals a strange level of cognitive dissonance, because it sounds like you’re describing in others what you actually see in yourself. Someone who does have a list of things they reject wholesale, and refuses to find common ground with others who believe in any of those things. And then you conclude by assuming you’re the only one who thinks critically about this stuff.
For what it’s worth, you do say some relatable things and appear to be figuring out your own mind. Which we can all relate to
For what it’s worth, you do say some relatable things and appear to be figuring out your own mind. Which we can all relate to
I mean, it’s good to be open minded, it’s good to be introspective, it’s critical to take feedback.
It’s not wrong to have a take. You can sit down and say “no this is the way I’m going and I don’t think the other way is correct.”
There’s plenty of shit in this world that is destructive and dangerous. It’s more than fine to not engage with people who are beyond reason, but having confidence in your convictions isn’t a sin. You need courage to make a change in the world.
It’s not wrong to have a take. You can sit down and say “no this is the way I’m going and I don’t think the other way is correct.”
There’s plenty of shit in this world that is destructive and dangerous. It’s more than fine to not engage with people who are beyond reason, but having confidence in your convictions isn’t a sin. You need courage to make a change in the world.
> find people whose views on one topic you respect – that checks the box in your head that says “this person isn’t totally crazy” – and debate them on the topics you disagree about
Find a point of agreement and then try to progress incrementally towards the area of disagreement. Pretty soon you'll find out who's got the crap assumption(s). This process is best carried out over drinks.
Find a point of agreement and then try to progress incrementally towards the area of disagreement. Pretty soon you'll find out who's got the crap assumption(s). This process is best carried out over drinks.
Also knowing when the thought doesn’t actually count. Being “well-meaning” at the expense of another person is not love. It dismisses their needs as less important than your need to feel as if you did some kind act.
A good skill is learning to specialize, or at least not being adverse to it. Contrary to what you see online, the vast majority of people who are successful on paper and who have good careers and decent-sized nest eggs , do not have profound insights into society, or are worldly or erudite people. They instead find something that works and then hone in and refine that. Unlike the generalists who dominate and seem to have all the status online, they specialize at something and become good enough that they can make a career at it.
The first one can also be extended with this corollary:
Quit complaining about every little thing, including the fact that people will always complain about every little thing.
Quit complaining about every little thing, including the fact that people will always complain about every little thing.
I've historically never been complaining and it's really bad for carreer development, you end up in dead ends which nobody wants to do and not rewarded for it.
While it's a useful skill for your personal life, it's not really working in a company.
While it's a useful skill for your personal life, it's not really working in a company.
Agreed. In my experience to do well in large companies you need 2 properties and nothing else.
1. Constantly complaining. This is like a high-visible fake proxy for "high quality".
2. Highly opinionated. In order to get your 3rd rate projects through you need to fight tooth and nail for whatever arbitrary set of things you are pushing.
Engineering prowess and the properties from the article are nowhere on the list. The vast majority of principal+ engineers and essentially all upper management I have worked with have these two traits. When you run into an exception it's a blast of fresh air and a wonder they got past senior engineering roles. As a disclaimer my sample size is 2 companies.
1. Constantly complaining. This is like a high-visible fake proxy for "high quality".
2. Highly opinionated. In order to get your 3rd rate projects through you need to fight tooth and nail for whatever arbitrary set of things you are pushing.
Engineering prowess and the properties from the article are nowhere on the list. The vast majority of principal+ engineers and essentially all upper management I have worked with have these two traits. When you run into an exception it's a blast of fresh air and a wonder they got past senior engineering roles. As a disclaimer my sample size is 2 companies.
> Quit complaining
Conversely, I have found complaining to be a symptom of under-utilization of natural troubleshooting skills. Redirecting them toward solving problems takes 2 issues off the board.
I have also found complainers who were detail-oriented in a way that they reliably handled the kind of maintenance tasks that were often ignored.
Mostly I'm talking about complaints that come from a place of powerlessness. I often find those folks are broadcasting clues about where the they can be useful.
Conversely, I have found complaining to be a symptom of under-utilization of natural troubleshooting skills. Redirecting them toward solving problems takes 2 issues off the board.
I have also found complainers who were detail-oriented in a way that they reliably handled the kind of maintenance tasks that were often ignored.
Mostly I'm talking about complaints that come from a place of powerlessness. I often find those folks are broadcasting clues about where the they can be useful.
Also be charitable. Maybe the seemingly insufferable person is just having a bad day. I know I don't want to be judged based on some day or week I was off and irritable due to some set of circumstances.
I chose to believe we're all doing our best.
I chose to believe we're all doing our best.
> I chose to believe we're all doing our best.
Evidence tends to bear this out. People aren't walking around with gobs of unused ability; they're usually performing about where they're able.
As far as improvement goes, the easy improvements are done. The ones that are left are either in progress or folks don't know how to proceed.
So where do shortcomings fit into this? I believe faults happen when someone has no significant impediment to better behavior - but they refuse anyway.
I see this happen when negative conditioning has effected someone; imaginary harms are so elevated that actual good/harm is less recognizable.
Evidence tends to bear this out. People aren't walking around with gobs of unused ability; they're usually performing about where they're able.
As far as improvement goes, the easy improvements are done. The ones that are left are either in progress or folks don't know how to proceed.
So where do shortcomings fit into this? I believe faults happen when someone has no significant impediment to better behavior - but they refuse anyway.
I see this happen when negative conditioning has effected someone; imaginary harms are so elevated that actual good/harm is less recognizable.
Evidence tends to bear this out. People aren't walking around with gobs of unused ability; they're usually performing about where they're able.
My experience has been the opposite. I think most people are underperforming to their potential, mostly because they lack social connections or knowledge to capitalize on it, or even begin to take the first steps to capitalizing on it. The number of intelligent people stuck in pointless jobs is endless.
The tech startup world is a good example. There are so many intelligent people which simply haven’t even considered the possibility of building a tech company, mostly because they aren’t exposed to it, don’t have any friends or family members doing it, etc. It’s an unknown-unknown that has nothing to do with ability.
It’s more likely that those who are already successful like to rationalize that “everyone is exactly where they should be” as a way to justify their own positions.
My experience has been the opposite. I think most people are underperforming to their potential, mostly because they lack social connections or knowledge to capitalize on it, or even begin to take the first steps to capitalizing on it. The number of intelligent people stuck in pointless jobs is endless.
The tech startup world is a good example. There are so many intelligent people which simply haven’t even considered the possibility of building a tech company, mostly because they aren’t exposed to it, don’t have any friends or family members doing it, etc. It’s an unknown-unknown that has nothing to do with ability.
It’s more likely that those who are already successful like to rationalize that “everyone is exactly where they should be” as a way to justify their own positions.
> My experience has been the opposite.
> I think most people are underperforming to their potential, mostly because [conditions]
It sounds like your experience is identical. You've identified obstacles between what folks could do and what they're doing now. Today, folks are doing what they can with what they have.
Potential is always a measure of things that can't be done now.
> It’s more likely that those who are already successful like to rationalize that “everyone is exactly where they should be” as a way to justify their own positions.
I think this is something that gets imagined about other people. Reading minds isn't a thing and there is a human tendency to fill blanks.
> I think most people are underperforming to their potential, mostly because [conditions]
It sounds like your experience is identical. You've identified obstacles between what folks could do and what they're doing now. Today, folks are doing what they can with what they have.
Potential is always a measure of things that can't be done now.
> It’s more likely that those who are already successful like to rationalize that “everyone is exactly where they should be” as a way to justify their own positions.
I think this is something that gets imagined about other people. Reading minds isn't a thing and there is a human tendency to fill blanks.
You said “people aren’t walking around with gobs of unused ability.” I said the exact opposite thing.
>>People aren't walking around with gobs of unused ability; they're usually performing about where they're able
>My experience has been the opposite. I think most people are underperforming to their potential, mostly because
> they lack social connections or
> [they lack] knowledge to capitalize on it, or
> [they lack knowledge to] even begin to take the first steps to capitalizing on it.
You make reasonable points about the things they lack today. Without them, people are doing what they can.
Upon accumulation (of those things), different options would then be within their reach.
That said, I suspect what you're trying to address here isn't ability but improvement.
>My experience has been the opposite. I think most people are underperforming to their potential, mostly because
> they lack social connections or
> [they lack] knowledge to capitalize on it, or
> [they lack knowledge to] even begin to take the first steps to capitalizing on it.
You make reasonable points about the things they lack today. Without them, people are doing what they can.
Upon accumulation (of those things), different options would then be within their reach.
That said, I suspect what you're trying to address here isn't ability but improvement.
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I like the IETF protocol maxim: Be conservative in what you transmit, be liberal in what you accept
99% of hn users and 100% of mods completely fail at this.
HN is all about group think downvoting those outside the hive mind
And mods give it their blessing and even support.
Look to the mirror HN.
HN is all about group think downvoting those outside the hive mind
And mods give it their blessing and even support.
Look to the mirror HN.
The author clearly needs to add to his skills the ability to give advice while not being condescending. In particular the bit about how in the good old days everyone had excellent social skills and calligraphy but now youngsters have done away with decency in favor of smartphones.
In the "good old days", I had crap social skills, and my handwriting was g*d-awful. The baseline has now moved so much lower, I have no problems with either.
The set of norms is changing, some things are way easier than they used to be, and others are way harder, as the technology makes things previously impossible or impractical, the normal way of doing things.
For example, I can reliably drive to novel places on the other side of Chicagoland without a map.... something those raised on Google maps just can't do. Once I've been somewhere, I can find my way back again. I learn new areas quickly.
On the other hand, I'm not likely to know about some really cool thing that was less than a mile from my location, unless I drove past it at some point.
We used to spend hours every day interacting outside playing with all the other kids on the block, exploring neighborhoods, etc... that's almost entirely evaporated for many kids, in exchange they are much more proficient in computer mediated communications.
The thing I worry about the most is managing risks. We used to take risks as kids, as part of that play and exploring, doing stupid shit, and only getting our parents involved if things went bad. Now with kids protected in a bubble from anything, and having their lives mostly planned... reliably estimating danger isn't as common a skill as it used to be.
The set of norms is changing, some things are way easier than they used to be, and others are way harder, as the technology makes things previously impossible or impractical, the normal way of doing things.
For example, I can reliably drive to novel places on the other side of Chicagoland without a map.... something those raised on Google maps just can't do. Once I've been somewhere, I can find my way back again. I learn new areas quickly.
On the other hand, I'm not likely to know about some really cool thing that was less than a mile from my location, unless I drove past it at some point.
We used to spend hours every day interacting outside playing with all the other kids on the block, exploring neighborhoods, etc... that's almost entirely evaporated for many kids, in exchange they are much more proficient in computer mediated communications.
The thing I worry about the most is managing risks. We used to take risks as kids, as part of that play and exploring, doing stupid shit, and only getting our parents involved if things went bad. Now with kids protected in a bubble from anything, and having their lives mostly planned... reliably estimating danger isn't as common a skill as it used to be.
Hope your archaic abilities get you ahead in life!
> For example, I can reliably drive to novel places on the other side of Chicagoland without a map.... something those raised on Google maps just can't do. Once I've been somewhere,
The shift away from physical maps is a primary factor in my shift away from exploring.
The shift away from physical maps is a primary factor in my shift away from exploring.
Rousseau's book Émile was written in the mid-18th century and talks about educating the youth. It's interesting to read about his view of education and the similarities and differences to today. Your last paragraph makes me think you would like that book.
The one who abandoned his kids? ;)
Lol yeah u read his wiki
Ha! Is that on his wiki entry? So much for neutrality!
Learning from people one disagrees with, instead of finding offense and misunderstanding, is another useful and overlooked skill.
> Respectfully interacting with people you disagree with.
> Confirmation bias gets easier when people are more connected. But connectivity also means you’ll also run into more people who disagree with you. Benedict Evans: “The more the Internet exposes people to new points of view, the angrier people get that different views exist.” Handling that challenge without digging the hole deeper is one the 21st century’s most important skills. If you’re not blessed with perfect empathy, the trick to opening your mind to those you disagree with is to find people whose views on one topic you respect – that checks the box in your head that says “this person isn’t totally crazy” – and debate them on the topics you disagree about. Without the first step it’s too easy to write someone off before you’ve heard their full argument.
I like that. I'd love to see more of it.