Ask HN: Did you lose your passion?
About coding... and maybe about life as well.
42 comments
About coding my own projects not yet. About coding within a team for a tech company, yes. I couldn’t care less anymore about tech discussions with senior devs, about product refinements, about daily standups. I’m there because it pays the bills and it’s relatively easy for me work as a dev since as I said above, I love doing it (alone, of course), so I have the skills to do it (and it’s also relatively easy to fake engagement, so my managers never notice my disdain for the industry)
Absolutely. I feel like I've stagnated in my learning, no, even declined in what I know and my habits aren't helping either. I think I need to quit my job, get my life together and undo all that damage. I want to learn more about programming and get back into maths...
I'm not quitting my job but I did decide to go back to college to learn some kind of higher applied math. I love coding but I feel like I keep writing the same code over and over
Passion is a luxury, for those that don't need to earn money. I'm a bit less interested in coding now that I was as a teenager as I don't really prioritise it in my (much smaller) free time.
Yes. and Yes. Passion leads me to get excited even for the smallest of things. My excitement is contagious. Others react badly from such excitement. I take the brunt of their passion and then they crush my excitement, vision, dreams, and passion.
Passion is a luxury. Discipline is our bread and butter.
Passion is a luxury. Discipline is our bread and butter.
Definitely lost my passion for coding. But realized that it wasn't really my passion to begin with - creating was the passion, coding was just a tool to do it. Now I do PM work with light scripting for the day job, and I have creative hobbies in the rest of my life.
Thank you for this insight. I feel the same way and did not know until you put it into words like this. Creating is the passion.. In my case, perhaps a little bit was a philosophy that hours put into the word corresponded with output quality and that by creating and coding new things, I avoided responsibility. When the system is new, it can't go down and keep me awake. I have learned these things don't last. The project takes off, or it fails. The paper is written, the (academic) grant runs out. Living in perpetual green field programming (to me this is what software was growing up - mostly disk distributed programmes, and games) - is not that practical.
Ensuring you create daily... is practical.
Ensuring you create daily... is practical.
Yes, a job as the sole IT guy at a small consulting form had me keeping the computers of about 50 people (half onsite, half in home offices) running, starting in 1997 with a custom front end to Exchange, and Windows NT server... through to 2012 with VMware on the servers, Windows and Exchange and Windows 7 pro everywhere.
When I started, there was 40 hours worth of work every week. By the end, I would show up and wait for things to break. We had an in-house database, written in Access 97, then 2000... called Smiley. I tried 3 different times to re-write it in a manner to make everything flow better, and save a lot of people a lot of grief. Each time, there was an absolute terror that something would go wrong, and somehow it would crash the business. I had mechanisms figured out by the 3rd version to keep everything in sync across the old and the new versions... to no avail.
It completely broke my spirit. I've been afraid to start any major projects, even personal ones, ever since.
I'm basically waiting to die of old age at this point.
When I started, there was 40 hours worth of work every week. By the end, I would show up and wait for things to break. We had an in-house database, written in Access 97, then 2000... called Smiley. I tried 3 different times to re-write it in a manner to make everything flow better, and save a lot of people a lot of grief. Each time, there was an absolute terror that something would go wrong, and somehow it would crash the business. I had mechanisms figured out by the 3rd version to keep everything in sync across the old and the new versions... to no avail.
It completely broke my spirit. I've been afraid to start any major projects, even personal ones, ever since.
I'm basically waiting to die of old age at this point.
Yes. I took a year off and traveled the world. I "came back", though things have never been quite the same. I now live and love for other things. Coding is however very lucrative and I'm a damn good problem solver. It would be a shame to neglect one's talents.
What has changed in your perspective of the world if you don't mind being asked?
I was born in 1971, my first exposure to a computer was an Apple II running Logo in one of my gifted classes. I was hooked at that moment. My main hobby today at 52 is still coding. At work I am an analytics architect. Pretty much means I help design everything, but I also do a lot of the coding. I hate web development, especially the Angular/Typescript stuff we do, but I make up for it by doing my own thing (assembler and C) on my own stuff. I don’t think I’ll ever stop enjoying it.
As a quick follow up. When I started development professionally in 1996, it definitely wasn’t for money. My roommate who was a waitress in a nice restaurant here in Atlanta made twice what I brought home. I just loved that I went into work each day and got paid to solve problems. I see so many developers these days that are just in it for the money, and they’re really not enjoyable to work with.
I love Web Development and have been doing it for the past 20 years. Your post makes me wonder if in 20 more years I might still love web development but hate the new thing that will take over like web development did.
Yes. People at work used to ask how I still had drive and optimism after 15 years, but it was something I never questioned. I knew what our goal was, saw value in it, and could contribute to it in ways that seemed to be appreciated. These days, I have no idea what are goal is, questions aren't tolerated, all the effort seems to be for nothing, and even when we seemingly do everything right and on time, we still get told everything we did sucks... passion can't exist in an environment like that. I'm so burnt out from the days that I can't do anything in the evening except zone out in front of the TV. I don't really see a way forward without taking a massive pay cut. I don't want to do that to myself during my prime earning years, but I often question if it's worth it to be miserable all the time for the hope of a more comfortable retirement down the road.
Yes. When I was in college, HTML5 was the new thing and the possibilities seemed endless. Applications which previously required flash or had to run on the desktop could now run in the browser. The creative landscape was very wide.
Today, new technology is not exciting to me. Crypto was a big flop, and most AI applications I see are just pinging API requests to OpenAI so there's really nothing innovative in the technology behind such applications. I've spent my career in adtech and it seems like 90% of the money in this industry goes to data applications focused on advertising. By my estimate, consumer information technology peaked in usefulness around 2008 or 2009 and it's just been downhill and degrading user experience from there.
Today, new technology is not exciting to me. Crypto was a big flop, and most AI applications I see are just pinging API requests to OpenAI so there's really nothing innovative in the technology behind such applications. I've spent my career in adtech and it seems like 90% of the money in this industry goes to data applications focused on advertising. By my estimate, consumer information technology peaked in usefulness around 2008 or 2009 and it's just been downhill and degrading user experience from there.
Never been more passionate about coding than I'm right now, after 3 months of being laid off. Coding for myself and the productivity boost I'm getting with ChatGPT really made the difference for me.
No because there’s so much to do. If something becomes annoying or frustrating there are a million different things to do.
It’s all about perspective.
Life could have been way worse…
It’s all about perspective.
Life could have been way worse…
I still enjoy coding and design. But there's a fine line between passion and making a living. I used to build side projects for fun and learning, but once responsibilities grew, I had to prioritize making money.
I realized that passion requires financial support, so I drew a line between what I love and what I need. Now, I dedicate weekends to hobby projects and weekdays to work-related tasks.
I realized that passion requires financial support, so I drew a line between what I love and what I need. Now, I dedicate weekends to hobby projects and weekdays to work-related tasks.
Certain jobs eroded my passion for programming, not just because they were bad for me but also because I overstayed there hoping the conditions would get better (spoiler alert: wishful thinking). Effort put into undoing the damage paid off, nowadays I'm happier than ever "passion-wise".
No, I got a new job at a FAANG a couple years ago and it's fun seeing my stuff rolled out world wide and finding (small) solutions to problems NO one has solved yet.
It comes and goes in waves. At 29 I was so burned out it was pretty horrible. You might just need a change of scenery.
It comes and goes in waves. At 29 I was so burned out it was pretty horrible. You might just need a change of scenery.
If it is "about life as well" you may benefit from counseling.
Also, maintaining healthy lifestyle will also help.
Also, maintaining healthy lifestyle will also help.
Unironically, I wish i ever had a one.
Yeah, I've lost my passion for most things. Part of this is probably due to certain previous jobs having way too inconsistent a workload to keep me interested (sometimes it'd be non stop work, and other times it'd be literally whole days with nothing assigned), part of this is the slow collapse of said job altogether, and part of this is general depression as a whole.
I used to enjoy working on side projects (whether software engineering related or otherwise), but now it's just going through the motions there too.
It just all feels so pointless now, and my motivation is shot to pieces as a result of that.
I used to enjoy working on side projects (whether software engineering related or otherwise), but now it's just going through the motions there too.
It just all feels so pointless now, and my motivation is shot to pieces as a result of that.
About coding, yes for many years because of burn out.
found it again with watching, playing and building online videogames.
an indie game renaissance is underway, and it’s fantastic.
an indie game renaissance is underway, and it’s fantastic.
> an indie game renaissance is underway, and it’s fantastic.
Can you elaborate?
Can you elaborate?
it has never been easier to make games.
libraries, frameworks, and vertically integrated stacks (consoles) are plentiful and of varying but generally good quality.
it has never been easier to distribute games.
steam, console stores, mobile app stores, or a binary in r2 behind a cf worker.
it has never been cheaper to run game servers.
ovh metal is $100/month for 1Gbps unmetered egress and 4 fast cpu cores.
it has never been easier to learn to code or to learn a new lang.
gpt4.
it has never been easier to run a live tv show about gaming.
twitch, kick, yt, or nginx rtmp to cf r2.
it has never been easier to join or create an async community.
discord.
hardware has never been better or cheaper.
while this has always been true, it is a factor. 7800x3d 7900xtx 1440p240 is an insane build, especially as a first pc.
people are building and streaming and gaming 24/7 and it’s amazing.
what will be released tomorrow? what is being built today? who just decided to learn to code and will code daily for the rest of their life?
can’t wait to read about it and watch it live in the morning tomorrow.
libraries, frameworks, and vertically integrated stacks (consoles) are plentiful and of varying but generally good quality.
it has never been easier to distribute games.
steam, console stores, mobile app stores, or a binary in r2 behind a cf worker.
it has never been cheaper to run game servers.
ovh metal is $100/month for 1Gbps unmetered egress and 4 fast cpu cores.
it has never been easier to learn to code or to learn a new lang.
gpt4.
it has never been easier to run a live tv show about gaming.
twitch, kick, yt, or nginx rtmp to cf r2.
it has never been easier to join or create an async community.
discord.
hardware has never been better or cheaper.
while this has always been true, it is a factor. 7800x3d 7900xtx 1440p240 is an insane build, especially as a first pc.
people are building and streaming and gaming 24/7 and it’s amazing.
what will be released tomorrow? what is being built today? who just decided to learn to code and will code daily for the rest of their life?
can’t wait to read about it and watch it live in the morning tomorrow.
Not op, but some starting points:
https://www.twitch.tv/directory/category/software-and-game-d...
https://itch.io/games
https://www.twitch.tv/directory/category/software-and-game-d...
https://itch.io/games
I see. Pretty cool, I love finding gems like this
nah, 30 years after writing my first line of code I still get excited over my projects.
Yes, and therefore no.
Coding wasn't for me.
So I let it go and my life got better.
The caveat: it was mostly age that made it turn out that way. More or less more than three decades of experience as an adult. My adult experience includes adult lows. My experience includes adult highs. [0]
They come. They go. Such is my experience.
But the-world-is-as-it-is acceptance lessens lows that stick. It would have been better if things were otherwise. They aren't. Wishing they had been won't change that.
And more importantly my life's long term highs are long term highs. They are sticky and persist despite lows.
Good luck.
[0] Another caveat, coding isn't the only thing or the most significant professional pursuit I let go of because it wasn't for me.
Coding wasn't for me.
So I let it go and my life got better.
The caveat: it was mostly age that made it turn out that way. More or less more than three decades of experience as an adult. My adult experience includes adult lows. My experience includes adult highs. [0]
They come. They go. Such is my experience.
But the-world-is-as-it-is acceptance lessens lows that stick. It would have been better if things were otherwise. They aren't. Wishing they had been won't change that.
And more importantly my life's long term highs are long term highs. They are sticky and persist despite lows.
Good luck.
[0] Another caveat, coding isn't the only thing or the most significant professional pursuit I let go of because it wasn't for me.
Find another passion is a passion.