Kind of crazy that you guys don't understand this yet. I may not know how to hack, but I know how the body operates. Most people would do well to read Volek & Phinney, both 'the art and science of low carbohydrate living' and 'the art and science of low carbohydrate performance'
I am in professional therapy right now, someone who specializes in personality disorders, so right up my alley. I am not dependent on gaming anymore, I quit all of that cold turkey. My degree was in oil and gas, and that industry is in the shitter and when I quit, I told myself I would die on the street trying to do something else rather than go back. I don't respect the leaders in that industry, I don't like the goal of the work there, it's just not something I could do. Would rather die.
>Entrepreneurship, especially in programming related tech has very little chance of success, something like 0.1%
I just don't care much about polls and stuff. For what every big time entrepreneur has done, noone thought they could pull it off.
Oh, yea, I don't game anymore I should have mentioned. That is done. I am only doing positive things now.
I'm not even sure what I want to do or what I can do well. I know I'm good at pattern recognition and reading other people. My math skills aren't super strong, but I think I could change that. My english/writing potential is very high, but I haven't spent enough time writing to be skilled. I don't know if I would like it.
I think I need to force myself to experiment for short periods of time like the scientific method and evaluate after, not during.
I think part of my problem is that I've never learned to work for the sake of work itself. Everything in my life has always been to prove that I am 'good enough', to prove against feelings of unworthiness that pervade me, to beat the other person. But when it comes to beating myself, I suppose I have never given myself enough respect to attempt that. And it's unfortunate because that's the only worthwhile endeavor.
I just feel absolutely horrible that I'm not doing anything. It's like I'm watching all the opportunity pass by. I know I should have been part of the early tech scene. Instead I was stuck in hell with a mega neurotic family who still tries to control me to this day. It doesn't affect me as much now, because I learned about their disorders and why they are that way, and I learned about my own disorders, mostly inherited from their psychotic ways. But now I have nothing other than money being managed by some CFA whom has done a relatively decent job, but is badly outdated (I have to do all of the performance tracking on my own). So if the market has a bad crash, things aren't going to go so well for me. I have thought about just taking over the account and making my own investments, or just putting it into a bank until I figure out what I'm going to do. It stresses me to no end.
It's hard to give myself permission to do something like that when I'm so worried about actually finding something to do, but maybe that's part of the problem. I guess it is something I could experiment with, 7 days of travel, see how it feels.