> If I didn’t give a shit, I wouldn’t be trying to explain it to him.
That's not what's happening here.
You do give a shit. You care that someone, somewhere, poked you. You're not explaining your position. You're making false accusations, projecting, splitting, etc. You're focussing on your pain, and attacking the people who want you to stop inflicting your pain on others.
All of which is typical.
Look, I'm not mad. I understand what you're doing, and what you're going through. But that doesn't mean your behavior is appropriate. It's not.
> like human beings with a regrettable, painful, mortifyingly embarrassing condition are untrained dogs to you
I explicitly used the example of people with a medical condition. This comment accuses me of saying they're "untrained dogs".
Which is a typical borderline re-phrasing, extreme accusation, false accusation, etc.
> I considered the possibility that I misinterpreted you here
And firmly rejected any calm, rational, analysis of my comments.
That's part of the disorder.
> ou’re talking about serious, life changing journeys that require a lot of help and support along the way, and paying them the same respect as taking the car through the wash.
I'm telling you what the end goal is. What you should work towards.
And as the typical borderline, you don't see that. You take the extreme position that I'm saying it's trivial to get to the end goal.
> I’m not blind to my impact on other people.
You're blind to your extreme comments here. You're dumping boatloads of emotion on my for things I didn't say. You're projecting your emotions onto me.
> I’m not splitting with you
Yes, yes you are.
> ... it’s enough of a display of malempathy
i.e. any attempt to make you responsible for your behavior is rudely rejected. Any suggestion that you can get better is rudely rejected.
Because you're in pain.
Again, your pain is your issue. When you project your pain onto other people (like you're doing now), they don't like it. And if they say they don't like it, you double down on the projections and accusations.
I understand your trauma. But... if you decide to project that onto others, that is an issue. It is immoral, and everyone else is correct in labeling it, and with refusing to put up with it.
It's incredible to read your story. I'm sorry for what you went through.
It also re-affirms my belief about the solution:
> But I decided to do no harm. I started thinking about it as a sort of superpower I have, one that must be used with great care and responsibility.
i.e. Accept it, and deal with it.
This is huge. Most sufferers find that impossible. Because....
> you have to acknowledge and face the pain you've caused, which can result in unbearable guilt.
It can get better. Living a quiet life is better than a life full of extreme highs and lows. It feels emptier, because it isn't full of drama. But it's how most people live.
> Your other, horrible comment comparing BPD to incontinence makes me want to say something really nasty, emotional, and visceral to you, but I’m strongly resisting because it would just reinforce your fucked up belief structure about people who are genuinely suffering on a level that you can’t even comprehend.
As is typical in borderlines, you missed my point entirely. My comment was about the impact this disorder has on others. Because of the disorder, your pain is so large that you are blind to the impact that the disorder has on others.
That's the problem.
I sympathize with you, I really, really, do. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But ultimately, it's your disorder, and is your responsibility to fix.
Then, take the advice to heart. You will be happier by far.
One problem with the disorder is that the lows are tempered by highs. It's exciting to be emotionally involved, to think the world of someone, to be on the "high". And then it crashes, and you feel like shit.
I've read a lot about BPD, and things written by BPD sufferers. Despite the lows, most are also addicted to the highs. And they can't deal with the underlying disorder until they break the addiction.
As an example:
> I fall in love easily because I want absolutely nothing more than to feel that connection with another human being.
That's the emotional high I'm talking about.
You can get away from the lows. But the cost is that the highs are also mitigated. This is how most people live. There are few extremes. Just every day fumbling through life. Life is this: just living.
> I genuinely hope you find it in yourself to develop empathy for people who aren’t as advantaged and in control of their lives as you.
That is another typical BPD comment. You know nothing about my pain, my experience, or my journey. But because you're in pain, then my life must be wonderful.
Stop splitting. Decide to just live. Decide to not inflict pain or suffering on others. Work on the addiction to the highs.
If you want to talk more, email me. My email address is in my profile.
I'll agree, with the caveat that perhaps if the BPD person admits they have BPD, is in therapy, and is trying to get better... sticking around may be OK.
But it's no different than when someone has alcoholism or a drug habit. If they don't want to get better, get out.
Or working with someone who has BPD. They don't get anything done. They play office politics to a ludicrous degree. They blame everyone else for anything that happens. But they know who to suck up to, and they know how to make it look like they're getting work done. So they don't get fired.
Keep a relationship or a job means nothing unless you ask everyone else if they're getting better. If the answer is "OMFG I'm still walking on eggshells around that person", then they only progress they've made is to fool the therapist.
If they're not getting better, they're not worth dealing with.
I've seen analogies with other medical disorders.
e.g. Incontinence.
It's sad that you're incontinent. I feel for you, I really do. But the last time you were in my house, you peed on my $4000 leather couch and destroyed it. So until such time as you can conduct yourself appropriately, you are no longer welcome in my house.
What I've seen is that borderlines know there's something wrong with them. But the disorder also prevents them from seeking help. Until they get better, they sow a path of destruction in peoples lives which is near-biblical in scope.
They have more data than they do now for machine learning, and a better PR story.
i.e. uploaders can't be mad about the categories, because the categories are chosen by the uploader.
Uploaders can be mad about Youtube double-checking the categories and getting it wrong... which is less likely to happen if they have better data for machine learning.
I never understood why Youtube didn't have uploaders select various categories for videos. It would do a number of things:
* allow them to demonetize / ban / block videos for abuse of categorization
* train machine learning on the various categories
It's a lot more socially palatable for Youtube to say "Hey guys, we HAVE a blood and violence category, but you didn't use it for this video. So we'll punish you for that."
Instead, we get programming videos getting demonetized / blocked for god only knows what reason. That makes people made, and is bad press.
> Okay, I think I see what you mean now. It's a bit hard to see
I must admit to not understanding how it's difficult to see the correlation. If bail is set on factors X, Y, and Z, AND those factors are shown to be biased, then by definition, bail is also biased.
> since you're so focused on gender bias.
That's just a weird statement to make. The research shows bias and I quoted the research... how does that make me "so focused" on gender bias?
> it's not adding new bias.
That is a good point, but continuing existing bias is a serious problem.
We found that judges take gender, but not race, into account in determining the amount of bail for certain types of cases; more specifically, Black females faced lower bail than Black males in less serious cases. In contrast, we found that both race and gender affected the likelihood of pretrial release. White defendants were more likely than black defendants to be released pending trial and females were more likely than males to be released prior to trial. In fact, white females, white males, and black females all were more likely than black males to be released.
While people complain about the racial bias in the courtroom, the sex bias is substantially larger.
Heck, the Supreme Court of Canada recently gave a woman a complete pass for trying to have her husband killed. Because after she was charged with attempted murder, she conveniently remembered that she was the victim of domestic violence.
Despite her claims being provably false.
i.e. claimed incidents occurred when they lived hundreds of miles apart. There's no record of her ever calling the police, despite her claims of multiple police visits, etc.
> Instead of complaining about how terrible excel is, the community here should be providing alternatives.
Yeah... like I'm going to compete with MS by writing my own Excel replacement. That just isn't realistic.
What would be realistic is for MS to acknowledge that a large proportion of their customers use Excel for a particular purpose. And then tailor their software to the needs of their customer base.
But why would MS care? The researchers already bought Excel. So why "fix" it?
On top of that, no one is aware the the published papers are crap.
The real solution would be for journals to deny publication of papers based on shitty Excel analysis.
he authors found that Microsoft Excel would often interpret “SEPT2”, which corresponds to the gene Septin 2, as “September 2nd”. The programme also tended to mistake identification codes like “2310009E13” for numbers in scientific notation—in this particular instance, the code would be read as 2.310009 times 101
Excel is fine for the home user. But the implicit conversions of input data can play havoc with any complex analysis.
Plus, it's limited precision can cause errors such as subtractive cancellation, etc. In order to correctly calculate complex formulae, the calculations must be done with an understanding of the limitations of the computers.
e.g. you don't calculate (a^2-b^2) for large 'a' and 'b'. Instead, you calculate (a+b)*(a-b). That has the same mathematical result, but is not affected by subtractive cancellation.
That's not what's happening here.
You do give a shit. You care that someone, somewhere, poked you. You're not explaining your position. You're making false accusations, projecting, splitting, etc. You're focussing on your pain, and attacking the people who want you to stop inflicting your pain on others.
All of which is typical.
Look, I'm not mad. I understand what you're doing, and what you're going through. But that doesn't mean your behavior is appropriate. It's not.