I'm not southern either, I'm from Central Florida [0] and we use Y'all often. I believe in your ability to use Y'all too! Embrace Y'all :)
[0] There's a joke in Florida that the further north you go, the more south you are. The further south you go, the more north you are. It's 100% true too.
Believe it or not there was a real reason for bigger phones. They realized that most people still couldn't single handle the standard size smartphone, so if the majority of the population was going to have to use two hands the phone makers may as well jack the size up as much as possible to take advantage of the larger battery size and additional features.
>> Shazam is the closest thing we have to witchcraft.
I've never used Shazam, but I used a similar feature on my LG Chocolate back in the day. How is Shazam any different than what my LG Chocolate did (aside from the Spotify integration)?