Hey brother, I'm sorry to hear you're going through all of this at once. I've been through the grinder a few times - still am - but not like this, so I can imagine it must be tough.
When you're with somebody, especially for so long and on the road to marriage, they almost become your purpose in life. Losing someone like that means you also lose your sense of purpose, so everything else feels like you're just aimlessly passing time as you described.
The important thing is to not let it continue to spiral down. Force yourself to stay away from the mindless browsing. Start doing things to stimulate yourself more and work towards something. For me, it was running. I hated running. I still hate running. But it gives you something to work towards, and you'll begin looking for other things to work on too. It's difficult at first, and it will initially seem like just a distraction, but if you stick to it you'll realise you still have a journey to go on. It doesn't just stop here, so don't let it. It's hard to believe it now, but it will get better.
I know I'm just some random bloke on the internet, but if you do want someone to talk to, shoot me an email. I'm not a professional, but realise that you're not alone, and if it helps you reconnect to the world in some way then I'm happy to chat. And that goes for anyone. We'll all make it out stronger on the other side.
When you're with somebody, especially for so long and on the road to marriage, they almost become your purpose in life. Losing someone like that means you also lose your sense of purpose, so everything else feels like you're just aimlessly passing time as you described.
The important thing is to not let it continue to spiral down. Force yourself to stay away from the mindless browsing. Start doing things to stimulate yourself more and work towards something. For me, it was running. I hated running. I still hate running. But it gives you something to work towards, and you'll begin looking for other things to work on too. It's difficult at first, and it will initially seem like just a distraction, but if you stick to it you'll realise you still have a journey to go on. It doesn't just stop here, so don't let it. It's hard to believe it now, but it will get better.
I know I'm just some random bloke on the internet, but if you do want someone to talk to, shoot me an email. I'm not a professional, but realise that you're not alone, and if it helps you reconnect to the world in some way then I'm happy to chat. And that goes for anyone. We'll all make it out stronger on the other side.