IMHO it is rising individualism triggerred from FOMO from social media where in you believe you still have something left to experience outside in the world and which cannot be done once you have small kids.
Another one probably is how people with kids narrate their experience , where in they mention all the sleepless nights , limitations and costs , without telling about the postive aspects like happinesss , satisfaction and a stronger sense of purpose. Can't blame them given these aspects are very subtle and difficult to tell/narrate.
Based on your experience looks like startup is a good match. The argument about learning the tools first doesn't sound that convincing to me , it is mostly you justifying the high salary. Also database is not a tool per se and even if it is you will mostly understand how to query it , which is just like learning SQL and I don't think it will help you in writing a database
Another one probably is how people with kids narrate their experience , where in they mention all the sleepless nights , limitations and costs , without telling about the postive aspects like happinesss , satisfaction and a stronger sense of purpose. Can't blame them given these aspects are very subtle and difficult to tell/narrate.