I've done ok as a foster child, so I thought I would share why. This is a throw-away account because I'd rather not be identified.
First, my foster home cared for me. Somehow there is this idea out there that you shouldn't form an attachment to your foster kids, but I think that advice is plain wrong. I know because years later I attended foster-parenting orientation out of personal curiosity, and this is more or less what they told prospective foster parents. For me, that change made a massive difference. My foster home parent made sure my teacher, my school principals, my coaches...etc knew of my situation. They even went as far as letting me stay in my school district despite living outside of it.
Second, because of this community-awareness, I had allies at every turn. Teachers spent extra time getting me caught up during tutoring hours. My school counselor sent me email reminders about college application due dates. My AP & SAT tests were paid for. My school lunch were covered...etc.
Third, and perhaps most importantly, I wasn't a pay-check to my foster parent. I think that somewhat ties back to my first point, but you'd be surprised at how many folks do this for the money (at least in the state were I was based).
How to fix the foster system:
This is a really tough one, but I think more emphasis should be placed on putting foster kids inside existing families, if possible. Maybe more outreach is needed to find such folks, and maybe the economic incentive of it should be held back until a kid has been successfully placed for more than a. year inside a family. Furthermore, the whole notion that no attachment should exist is flawed. Lastly, getting the community involved. It really does takes a village to raise a foster kid.
First, my foster home cared for me. Somehow there is this idea out there that you shouldn't form an attachment to your foster kids, but I think that advice is plain wrong. I know because years later I attended foster-parenting orientation out of personal curiosity, and this is more or less what they told prospective foster parents. For me, that change made a massive difference. My foster home parent made sure my teacher, my school principals, my coaches...etc knew of my situation. They even went as far as letting me stay in my school district despite living outside of it.
Second, because of this community-awareness, I had allies at every turn. Teachers spent extra time getting me caught up during tutoring hours. My school counselor sent me email reminders about college application due dates. My AP & SAT tests were paid for. My school lunch were covered...etc.
Third, and perhaps most importantly, I wasn't a pay-check to my foster parent. I think that somewhat ties back to my first point, but you'd be surprised at how many folks do this for the money (at least in the state were I was based).
How to fix the foster system: This is a really tough one, but I think more emphasis should be placed on putting foster kids inside existing families, if possible. Maybe more outreach is needed to find such folks, and maybe the economic incentive of it should be held back until a kid has been successfully placed for more than a. year inside a family. Furthermore, the whole notion that no attachment should exist is flawed. Lastly, getting the community involved. It really does takes a village to raise a foster kid.