I think there needs to be a dating experience that feels mutual/equal and doesn't have completely different experiences for different genders.
Like you say 'the majority of the men flooding in are not "up to snuff"'. That's one (common) perspective, but I don't know why anyone thinks that someone from one gender is generally better than the other. Maybe one has different expectations, but that doesn't mean that the other gender is garbage like a lot of messaging around dating implies.
Yet dating apps and strategies kind of assume that men put in the effort up front before they really know who the other person is. They are put through a bunch of time and money hoops. Some people may feel they have no other option and feel pressure to act a certain way, which can lead to resentment later on. As a guy it can feel like you are constantly proving yourself with costly signals for the first month (that women don't have to do), so it's hard to relax and open up and can feel defensive.
I think dating should require equal commitment from the beginning. It doesn't have to be exactly 50/50, but as a guy, when you have to do the legwork in the apps (send 100s of messages, etc) and a significant minority of women label you a cheapskate if you don't pay for the first few dates, it's hard to not feel like you are being taken advantage of in dating.
This probably starts by not having a mentality that most men/women you meet aren't going to be human garbage. Of course, don't accept shitty behavior.
Women have issues of course and dating sucks for everyone, just my perspective as a man.
Like you say 'the majority of the men flooding in are not "up to snuff"'. That's one (common) perspective, but I don't know why anyone thinks that someone from one gender is generally better than the other. Maybe one has different expectations, but that doesn't mean that the other gender is garbage like a lot of messaging around dating implies.
Yet dating apps and strategies kind of assume that men put in the effort up front before they really know who the other person is. They are put through a bunch of time and money hoops. Some people may feel they have no other option and feel pressure to act a certain way, which can lead to resentment later on. As a guy it can feel like you are constantly proving yourself with costly signals for the first month (that women don't have to do), so it's hard to relax and open up and can feel defensive.
I think dating should require equal commitment from the beginning. It doesn't have to be exactly 50/50, but as a guy, when you have to do the legwork in the apps (send 100s of messages, etc) and a significant minority of women label you a cheapskate if you don't pay for the first few dates, it's hard to not feel like you are being taken advantage of in dating.
This probably starts by not having a mentality that most men/women you meet aren't going to be human garbage. Of course, don't accept shitty behavior.
Women have issues of course and dating sucks for everyone, just my perspective as a man.