For instance the movies they like to watch, also they are annoyed with the mess of my working table, full with arduinos, eletrônics, computers - the same with my guitars or even the kind of art and decoration I appreciate. Before my daughters, the situation was more simetrical between me and my wife - now I feel more isolated, without my own space at home, furthermore without partner to Discuss books or watch tv shows, my wife is more and more focused in the girls world - during our 10 year dating, we were close friends with lot in common, I would never have predicted this change.
My anecdotal experience as a father of 3 daughters: my relationship definitely got worse and I believe the root cause is the diminished empathy from my wife, on the other hand my sister got 2 boys and our relationship became incredibly close, she became more empathetic to me and my father!
I am trying to follow up what is going on, but it is funny how as a non native speaker all these pronouns and gender discussions are alienating. I heard people saying to use neutral pronoun - but the one I learned was It, which sounds very strange. This seems so incendiary that I would never post in a public forum in English with my real name anymore, god knows who will dig my comments in the future. I don’t share the same culture and I don’t understand this nuances and how is appropriate to approach native English speakers (especially if they need special care with words). I work in one of the fortune 100 companies out of US - and we are getting trainings about this stuff but nobody understands much - people just look at each other puzzled and lost. This is really unfair to non native speakers, to add all these new rules and cultural assumptions - in my case is my working language.
The simplest and effective way to solve the immigration problem is to give H-1B full job mobility and rights. This would benefit them and very quickly would bring the correct market value for everybody’s work. On the top side there will more genuine visa applications for real talent.
I’ve concluded something similar lately. Humans always needed stable shared rules that envolve slowly to have funcional societies with multiple generations. This was attained with a shared culture plus religion. The science was not considered the main driver for these social rules. Since the fall of the religions in the west we have been using science to partially rationalize our view of the world, as result science became a battleground for ideologies and consequently became corrupted, it lost its neutrality. Each side of the spectrum wants to use science to support their personal beliefs. I start to have this crazy idea that to save science we have to stop using it in political discussions, so far I think political discussions should rely only in democracy, continuity and shared values. Funny thing is that we tried before to replace replace religion during the French Revolution: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cult_of_Reason
Lacking common moral values from one authority we look for it in another, now we have science being used as religious authority instead of being the refuge of questioning and doubt.
The problem is really complex. As a manager sometimes needing to give bad feedback, or assinging unpleasant tasks to females direct reports, it is always stressful for me. There is a chance that even without malice, the female subordinate interpret that I am being unfair or punishing her. So I just avoid it, I don’t know how to approach hierarchy that sometimes generate uncomfortable situations with a metoo era. The solution is not what the article suggests, I have daughters and I want a better world for them, but this is not about educating managers.