Ask HN: How do you explain what you do to your relatives?
127 comments
Just had this happen to me over Thanksgiving and it went something like this...
Grandma: What the heck is a TicketStumbler? Are you still just playing at the computer all day?
Me: Oh, have you been to our site Grandma?
Grandma: No.
Me: Well Grandma, have you ever heard of Expedia, Kayak or Orbitz?
Grandma: No.
Me: What about Bizrate or Pricegrabber?
Grandma: No.
Me: Hmm...well essentially what we do is take sports & concert tickets from all over the internet and put them on one website. So instead of going to multiple websites you can just go to one. You know how you put all your recipe cards in one place? Well we do that, but with tickets.
Grandma: Oh I see. Well, that's nice dear; would you like a beer while you work? Or how about some more candy?
Me: I love you Grandma.
Grandma: What the heck is a TicketStumbler? Are you still just playing at the computer all day?
Me: Oh, have you been to our site Grandma?
Grandma: No.
Me: Well Grandma, have you ever heard of Expedia, Kayak or Orbitz?
Grandma: No.
Me: What about Bizrate or Pricegrabber?
Grandma: No.
Me: Hmm...well essentially what we do is take sports & concert tickets from all over the internet and put them on one website. So instead of going to multiple websites you can just go to one. You know how you put all your recipe cards in one place? Well we do that, but with tickets.
Grandma: Oh I see. Well, that's nice dear; would you like a beer while you work? Or how about some more candy?
Me: I love you Grandma.
Ha, you're lucky. My grandpa managed a few programming projects in the accounting industry during the 70's/80's. Every time I tell him about something I'm working on, he tells a long story about how he either invented or pioneered the concepts behind that project.
My favorite quote from Dan's Grandma:
Dan: Where'd all the Margaritas go, Grandma?
Grandma: I drank 'em all up!
Dan: Where'd all the Margaritas go, Grandma?
Grandma: I drank 'em all up!
Just do what I did, play poker for a living for 5 or 6 years first. Then compared to that, a startup is "doing something with your life".
Speaking of poker, I was once playing poker in vegas when the guy sitting beside me asked me what I did. I replied that I was a "technology consultant". He looked confused. I tried to explain that I wrote software to solve problems in the home automation industry. He thought hard for a moment and a light bulb went off in his head and he sat up and said, "oh computers!". I resigned that I did "computers", and the moment was over.
Just goes to show how the whole world isn't technical.
Just goes to show how the whole world isn't technical.
The people you meet at mid-limit poker tables are the most genuinely reflective sample of the middle-class and up segment of our country that you'll ever find. It's weighted male (though less heavily than it use to be) but you definitely run into all types.
There's a huge digital divide among poker pros. Most tend to either be younger guys like me who use computers as a tool to improve our game (ICM Calculators, equity calcs, stat tracking, etc.) and the old road-gambler types who still think poker is just about reading people. Of course poker is such a mathematical game that the second group is at a tremendous disadvantage, except for the few who've adapted.
There's a huge digital divide among poker pros. Most tend to either be younger guys like me who use computers as a tool to improve our game (ICM Calculators, equity calcs, stat tracking, etc.) and the old road-gambler types who still think poker is just about reading people. Of course poker is such a mathematical game that the second group is at a tremendous disadvantage, except for the few who've adapted.
That's slightly horrifying.
Two techniques I've used in the past:
1) Figure out the "regular" job that is most directly related to what your startup does and say you do that. For example, I have largely been involved with ad supported startups, so most of my relatives think I work at an ad agency.
2) If you have big clients, partners or vendors that you think your relatives have heard of you can say something like, "I work with company X". The fact that you have some relationship with a company they have heard of is typically good enough for them to think you are doing something right.
That being said, your non-technical family members are also a great audience on which to practice refining your pitch. If you can figure out how to explain what your startup does to your family, then you can surely explain it to users, clients, investors, etc.
1) Figure out the "regular" job that is most directly related to what your startup does and say you do that. For example, I have largely been involved with ad supported startups, so most of my relatives think I work at an ad agency.
2) If you have big clients, partners or vendors that you think your relatives have heard of you can say something like, "I work with company X". The fact that you have some relationship with a company they have heard of is typically good enough for them to think you are doing something right.
That being said, your non-technical family members are also a great audience on which to practice refining your pitch. If you can figure out how to explain what your startup does to your family, then you can surely explain it to users, clients, investors, etc.
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I tell them I'm starting a business. I explain in fairly vague terms what pain I'm trying to alleviate.
Family and friends usually get it and they are very excited and supportive (of course, some family members are artists and independent contractors so 'startup' probably sounds less risky than it should).
Not surprisingly, it's the bigco lifers we run into at holiday parties, who were always too afraid to take the plunge, that say 'I know a guy who's hiring if you want a job.' I tell them something like 'thank you for letting me know, but my plate is full with my business'...what I really want to say is 'I'm not *ing unemployed, you jackass, and I'm working harder than you ever have or will!"
Family and friends usually get it and they are very excited and supportive (of course, some family members are artists and independent contractors so 'startup' probably sounds less risky than it should).
Not surprisingly, it's the bigco lifers we run into at holiday parties, who were always too afraid to take the plunge, that say 'I know a guy who's hiring if you want a job.' I tell them something like 'thank you for letting me know, but my plate is full with my business'...what I really want to say is 'I'm not *ing unemployed, you jackass, and I'm working harder than you ever have or will!"
Generally it's just "I write web software for X industry"
Funny story: I was on plane and got to talking to the guy next to me. He asked what I did and I told him (the above line basically). He was thoroughly enthusiastic and kept asking all sorts of questions. I finally got around to asking what he did. He said "Oh, I'm a test pilot for Lockheed Martin" ... Never could figure why he thought my job was cool.
Funny story: I was on plane and got to talking to the guy next to me. He asked what I did and I told him (the above line basically). He was thoroughly enthusiastic and kept asking all sorts of questions. I finally got around to asking what he did. He said "Oh, I'm a test pilot for Lockheed Martin" ... Never could figure why he thought my job was cool.
Maybe to him jobs can be cool. This isn't the case for a lot of people.
Software's one of the last good black arts left. Everyone gets some basic introduction to physics, chemistry[1], etc. through school and Hollywood.
But software's utterly opaque in this department.
[1] Chemistry's always been the one that I didn't get.
But software's utterly opaque in this department.
[1] Chemistry's always been the one that I didn't get.
Most likely a geek at heart. Test Pilots are basically hackers anyway.
In mindset and curiosity yes, but to a woman in a bar the equality operator returns a 0.
And you wonder why
I think so. I had a girlfriend whose dad was an ex-military test pilot. Judging by all the flight manuals in the garage, he flew pretty much everything in the USAF inventory.
Anyway, although he and I never had much of a conversation, she said he was always very interested in what I was working on (medical software). He just wasn't very talkative outside his immediate family.
The reaction you get has nothing to do with what you say, and everything to do with the way you say it. If you act apologetic, they'll be sad for you. If you're enthusiastic they'll be happy for you.
A fellow I know is a financial planner. Yawn. But I watched him explain what he did to a woman he was trying to pick up and, damn, it sounded exciting and noble. He helped people achieve their long term dreams and become independent.
So be kind to your family. Give them a Christmas present and make them all happy by telling them how you've got the greatest gig in the world writing software to make the world a better place. You might be surprised how much it changes things.
A fellow I know is a financial planner. Yawn. But I watched him explain what he did to a woman he was trying to pick up and, damn, it sounded exciting and noble. He helped people achieve their long term dreams and become independent.
So be kind to your family. Give them a Christmas present and make them all happy by telling them how you've got the greatest gig in the world writing software to make the world a better place. You might be surprised how much it changes things.
I dunno, it's more like I've fallen off the end of the world. Previously I was a corporate consultant, so I did incomprehensible things but I worked for a large company so it must make sense. Now I do incomprehensible things but not only that I do them in an incomprehensible way, and I'm enjoying it, it must be evil somehow (irish catholic background), but I'll take on the many suggestions here and try them out.
You're right.
Just saying "I do x." is a like hitting a conversational brick wall. "I am a(n) x." is even worse.
People need a story or a hook to keep paying attention.
Just saying "I do x." is a like hitting a conversational brick wall. "I am a(n) x." is even worse.
People need a story or a hook to keep paying attention.
You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
-- Albert Einstein
-- Albert Einstein
A. Einstein must have had an unusually insightful grandmother, or else his ability to explain relativity theory must have been unsurpassed.
And erwin Schrodinger's grandmother must really have been something. It took me two wellwritten books just to get a general grasp of what he was doing.
And erwin Schrodinger's grandmother must really have been something. It took me two wellwritten books just to get a general grasp of what he was doing.
I think if you asked Einstein, he would probably have told you that he didn't really understand relativity.
Well lucky for us all he wasn't publishing in his grandmother's journal. If having powerful expressive models isn't "understanding" then maybe it's best we leave this concept to message boards.
Einstein must have had an unusually insightful grandmother
It's probably a nicely self-regulating system then.
It's probably a nicely self-regulating system then.
I call BS on Albert.
I usually just roll with "Im a computer programmer". That seems to work.
Recently I've tried not to say any variant of programming or development or engineering on anything (web, mobile, desktop), nor that I've majored in computer science from the moment I started college. What inevitably happens if I do say so is family and friends of family end up asking me to work on their website|fix their computers|help them with something barely tech-related like their car's satellite radio, and usually for too little money. I never understood why, since I never ask for favors from them, but shrug.
I'd be glad to help some of them out when I have the time and interest, but there is no way in hell I want to churn out a full out custom inventory system for their business for $200. And yes, someone has actually asked me for that at that price before. My jaw just dropped.
I'd be glad to help some of them out when I have the time and interest, but there is no way in hell I want to churn out a full out custom inventory system for their business for $200. And yes, someone has actually asked me for that at that price before. My jaw just dropped.
> I never understood why, since I never ask for favors from them, but shrug.
This happens to practically everyone - Doesn't matter if you're a Doctor, Laywer, Mechanic, Banker...
This happens to practically everyone - Doesn't matter if you're a Doctor, Laywer, Mechanic, Banker...
Can you imagine asking for help from someone invited over for dinner who's occupation turned out to be plumbing?
"Oh, you're a plumber? Say, just the other day I dumped this leviathan that almost shattered my shitter, and clogged it good, too. Nobody's dared use it since. Would you mind grabbing that bull by the horns after dessert?"
"Oh, you're a plumber? Say, just the other day I dumped this leviathan that almost shattered my shitter, and clogged it good, too. Nobody's dared use it since. Would you mind grabbing that bull by the horns after dessert?"
I have however said - "hey - we're doing an extension - want to come round, drink some beers and give us a hand"
NOTE: If you're asking for help, always offer beer
NOTE: If you're asking for help, always offer beer
Oh I'm fully aware people do do this all the time and it happens to pretty much anyone with any kind of job. I'm wondering why people believe their relatives would be willing to do a favor in the first place purely based on relation and even sometimes with the assumption they wouldn't mind doing it at a discounted rate because of that. I'm sure anyone who's spent enough time with family talking about what they do have encountered that before.
My Mom's computer was acting up recently. She called me thinking I'd help her. I told her how rude it was to just call me up expecting instant support. Then I sent her my rate card, a simple NDA, and a standard short-term contract. Really man, I'm with you, some people have such nerve!
aww I'm not that mean ;) my parents are entitled to all the free support they want from me, and the same goes to close friends. however, a third cousin twice removed that I didn't even know existed until recently shouldn't expect the same :p
You're missing out on some quality WTF moments though if you refuse tech support to family. I once spent 45 minutes on the phone with my sister trying to fix her internet. She finally wondered aloud, "Does it matter if the phone plug doesn't fit perfectly?"
"You mean the ethernet cable?"
"That's not the same thing a phone wire?"
"There's you're problem."
The crux of your reason is half of why "I reboot servers." The other half is because I really don't expect to have an interesting conversation about it and don't want to explain it to people.
Maybe my family and in-laws aren't cool enough to ask for a web application, but my current description has been geeky enough to fend everyone off. I guess the time is coming when I should be concerned about that and move on to something niche-sounding.
Maybe my family and in-laws aren't cool enough to ask for a web application, but my current description has been geeky enough to fend everyone off. I guess the time is coming when I should be concerned about that and move on to something niche-sounding.
Exactly. I always just say "I work in web development". That about sums it up.
"Oh, you make webpages!"
Cool. You must know HTML then.
Yeah, my cousin taught me HTML too, it's not that hard.
I do cross-platform development -- I use frontpage AND dreamweaver.
And you listen to both kinds of music, country AND western?
(country and western are like metal and hardcore.. might sound the same, but have different roots and cultures, and have experienced a great cross-pollination.)
The joke is on the word "both", not on the "country and western". Pour one out for Jake and Elwood.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH oh!
I love you guys.
I'm saddened by how real this thread got to me.
Then I say "Also CSS, Javascript, C#, VB, ASP.Net, Classic asp, SQL, Java, C, Objective-C, and Flash."
I can't even use that excuse as I've got this Psychology/Pre-med background. I decided not to go the med school route right before taking the MCATs, so for me, it's usally, "So what medical school are you going to?"
I try to explain that I'm doing something I am much more passionate about but most people (other than my parents, thankfully) can't seem to understand that logic. Living in a "brown" community doesn't help either, where every other parent is a doctor.
I try to explain that I'm doing something I am much more passionate about but most people (other than my parents, thankfully) can't seem to understand that logic. Living in a "brown" community doesn't help either, where every other parent is a doctor.
> Living in a "brown" community doesn't help either, where every other parent is a doctor.
Am I the only one that read this 3 times trying to understand its meaning?
Am I the only one that read this 3 times trying to understand its meaning?
No, I'm with you. But that guy really is screwed @ the family table!
Dumping med school? Man, that's like me quitting teaching college. People thought (still think, probably) that I'm nuts. Occasionally I think they may be right...
Dumping med school? Man, that's like me quitting teaching college. People thought (still think, probably) that I'm nuts. Occasionally I think they may be right...
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I've basically given up trying to really explain it. I just say I own a business that operates "on the Internet" and hope they stop asking questions after that. My favorite quotes:
Dad: When you told me you were quitting school and moving to Boston to start some Internet company I thought it was just a pipe dream. But, you made me really proud.
Grandma 2: I heard your business is doing well. Of course I don't understand what it is you do, but I'm proud of you!
No good quotes from my other Grandma; she can barely remember who I am anymore :(
Dad: When you told me you were quitting school and moving to Boston to start some Internet company I thought it was just a pipe dream. But, you made me really proud.
Grandma 2: I heard your business is doing well. Of course I don't understand what it is you do, but I'm proud of you!
No good quotes from my other Grandma; she can barely remember who I am anymore :(
Better than trying to explain what you're doing with a PhD.
I tell people I watch jerry springer and wait for the mail for the part of the day I am not asleep.
What's so hard? You're a business owner and an entrepeneur. I always thought people admired that, especially here in America.
For me, older relatives are way more impressed if you get a full time job at a established/well known company (Google, Cisco, etc...) than if you're a business owner.
I was employed at a small company (under 10 employees) and my Aunt wouldn't stop calling me about Cisco.
"Cisco is a really great place to work at... it's stable, good pay. Even though your Uncle just got laid off, I still think it's a great place."
I'm a recent graduate, just moved back to my hometown in Silicon Valley. All of my old buddies are so eager to land jobs at BigCo. I'm completely shocked that no one wants to work at a startup, do their own business, or even work for a small company.
Since when did "I work at Google" become a damn pick up line?
I think being an entrepreneur is only impressive after you're successful (ie. get RICH). I'm pretty sure the Reddit guys had a hard time impressing their family/friends with their startup, until they got filthy rich.
I was employed at a small company (under 10 employees) and my Aunt wouldn't stop calling me about Cisco.
"Cisco is a really great place to work at... it's stable, good pay. Even though your Uncle just got laid off, I still think it's a great place."
I'm a recent graduate, just moved back to my hometown in Silicon Valley. All of my old buddies are so eager to land jobs at BigCo. I'm completely shocked that no one wants to work at a startup, do their own business, or even work for a small company.
Since when did "I work at Google" become a damn pick up line?
I think being an entrepreneur is only impressive after you're successful (ie. get RICH). I'm pretty sure the Reddit guys had a hard time impressing their family/friends with their startup, until they got filthy rich.
I tried it. Never works. ;)
I think family wants to see you secure. I think future spouses want to see a willingness to take on risk. So tailor those pick up lines to the audience.
(Wonder if startups got less sexy with the economy going down...)
I think family wants to see you secure. I think future spouses want to see a willingness to take on risk. So tailor those pick up lines to the audience.
(Wonder if startups got less sexy with the economy going down...)
+1 on point about family wanting to see you secure. I don't usually like quoting Paul Graham, but he really did write the best essay I've read on the subject of "Inequality and Risk".
With family it's tricky; they're not as really interested in "what you do" as "how will your chosen source of income ensure your happiness?"
I'm from Hong Kong, so the standard reply for family is usually "I do IT"; over there IT doesn't stand for Info-Tech, it is an umbrella term for all things technology related, from using accounting software to engineering boeing 747's. Implication: It's a safe desk job out of the sun and rain, it makes money, and you're fairly smart and able to take care of yourself.
Then during the bust they worry again, and I tell them nono I'm fine, my company builds buildings. The city I live in has been experiencing a massive boom in property value in both residential and commercial sectors, so then they didn't panic about my job. Plus, I'm still out of the sun and rain, so, to them things look pretty good.
So this time with the US housing melt-down, they worry again. So this time the emphasis is on what an awesome guy my boss is, that in the past even when things are slow he doesn't let anyone go, that the company is financially sound with everything paid for in cash, and all he has to pay is wages. So the office is here to stay for sure, keeping me out of the sun and rain.
PS: I work in a rough area of the city, and on my bus commute there are a lot of construction workers, day labourers, unemployed individuals, folks slightly intoxicated or look like they have had a rough night outside. I have the luxuary of telling them I work for a construction company.
yeah Chinese people try to stay indoors as much as we can
With family it's tricky; they're not as really interested in "what you do" as "how will your chosen source of income ensure your happiness?"
I'm from Hong Kong, so the standard reply for family is usually "I do IT"; over there IT doesn't stand for Info-Tech, it is an umbrella term for all things technology related, from using accounting software to engineering boeing 747's. Implication: It's a safe desk job out of the sun and rain, it makes money, and you're fairly smart and able to take care of yourself.
Then during the bust they worry again, and I tell them nono I'm fine, my company builds buildings. The city I live in has been experiencing a massive boom in property value in both residential and commercial sectors, so then they didn't panic about my job. Plus, I'm still out of the sun and rain, so, to them things look pretty good.
So this time with the US housing melt-down, they worry again. So this time the emphasis is on what an awesome guy my boss is, that in the past even when things are slow he doesn't let anyone go, that the company is financially sound with everything paid for in cash, and all he has to pay is wages. So the office is here to stay for sure, keeping me out of the sun and rain.
PS: I work in a rough area of the city, and on my bus commute there are a lot of construction workers, day labourers, unemployed individuals, folks slightly intoxicated or look like they have had a rough night outside. I have the luxuary of telling them I work for a construction company.
yeah Chinese people try to stay indoors as much as we can
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I'm not in America - I'm in Australia, There are entrepenuers here but it's not an accepted way of life like it seems to be in the US. If you have a shop front / product it seems acceptable, but people seem to have a hard time accepting that you sit at home writing software is work - and hard work, and that you can make money from it.
It actually scares a lot of people it seems, maybe it's just my family.
It actually scares a lot of people it seems, maybe it's just my family.
I'm not really suggesting this, but as soon as i got office space people's opinions of my work increased 10 fold. Even saying I was making money didn't phase people.
Of course, when i started working at home again, they were still asking me "how's your office doing?" As if, that is where I kept all my work, in folders, at an office, with desks.
Of course you could just say, we just opened an office downtown, and people will get excited for you.
Of course, when i started working at home again, they were still asking me "how's your office doing?" As if, that is where I kept all my work, in folders, at an office, with desks.
Of course you could just say, we just opened an office downtown, and people will get excited for you.
It's not just your family. In much of the world, people (most especially your parents) will equate entrepreneurship with not having a job, scamming, all sorts of negative associations. But it's your family, so they will be somewhat forgiving. Show them what you're doing, point to the people in the world who have done well (de-emphasize the billionaires, and emphasize the people who created jobs for themselves). Be passionate. Like everything you do, you have to sell it to them.
I think the word "entrepreneur" has so many negative connotations because it's overused (at least in the States). Jobs are called entrepreneurial, employers are looking for entrepreneurs and MLMs like Cutco & Mary Kay consider their sales people entrepreneurs. It's sad.
I really like & use the titles cofounder or founder.
I really like & use the titles cofounder or founder.
I just say "I run a small web design business," although it lacks the edge now that I'm employed as well :^)
I do think that it sounds a little off-base to call oneself an entrepeneur at least in the DC area...very self-important.
I do think that it sounds a little off-base to call oneself an entrepeneur at least in the DC area...very self-important.
I used to live in DC. Entrepreneurs were few & far between; paper shufflers abound.
Now that you say that, until recently I resisted calling myself an entrepeneur, it does have a lot of negative connotations. I'm past that and now I probably should try and drag some of them along with the dream, they'll be kicking and screaming - at first anyway - but it's a whole lot better than grinding my teeth.
I too have noticed that being passionate about what you're doing, and getting that message across positively, really helps turn skeptical attitudes around.
When you say "much of the world," which regions are you familiar with that have this stigma? I'm curious.
I'd say anywhere where there aren't a _lot_ of successful startups compared to the number of "conventional" businesses, and a good startup community. Northern California, Massachusetts, and where I am now (Ottawa, Ca) are about the only places I can think of that don't have that stigma. But I haven't been everywhere in the world.
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My father who was entrepreneur himself used to say: "Never start a company. If you really want money then go to work for the goverment".
Because high level of bureaucracy here in Russia it's really hard to start a company in a real sector. And it's hard to find a VC for tech startup. It's depressing. I even thought about moving to some other country on Phd postition and part time working for start up... but it's seems too extreme =(
Because high level of bureaucracy here in Russia it's really hard to start a company in a real sector. And it's hard to find a VC for tech startup. It's depressing. I even thought about moving to some other country on Phd postition and part time working for start up... but it's seems too extreme =(
If you are young, I suggest you give it some more thought. There's a big world out there, even bigger than Russia, believe it or not.
Not anymore. At least in my experience, people think you are either a naive dreamer or a burnout that can't get a real job, especially if you work with computers/internet. I just tell relatives and new people I meet that I don't know what I want to do after school.
We live in an unbelievably conservative time right now.
Teenagers even stopped to rebel.
Not all of us. Well, I'm 20, but it still counts.
Yes, but "I am going to start a company and make loads of money." differs from sixties style rebellion.
As vaguely as possible.
"What do you do?" "I build things" "Like what?" "Things that no one really needs but are willing to pay for" "Oh"
Versus
"What do you do?" "I work with computers" invariably "Oh great, I downloaded a bunch of stuff that I really didn't even need just because the button told me to and now I have a virus, can you fix it?"
to which my answer will be
"No because I'm out of your pay grade".
"What do you do?" "I build things" "Like what?" "Things that no one really needs but are willing to pay for" "Oh"
Versus
"What do you do?" "I work with computers" invariably "Oh great, I downloaded a bunch of stuff that I really didn't even need just because the button told me to and now I have a virus, can you fix it?"
to which my answer will be
"No because I'm out of your pay grade".
Why oh why did I read that last sentence as "No because I'm out of your gay parade".
Why.
Why.
I usually just avoid the subject - my dad is the only one who understands what I'm doing and why, so I'll talk to him about it but usually noone else.
Bu don't worry I'm sure Einstein had some pretty tough times explaining to his family what he did :-)
Bu don't worry I'm sure Einstein had some pretty tough times explaining to his family what he did :-)
You're probably right. You'd think with all the marketing brains and intellect here someone would have come up with an incantation.
This is a tough one to be honest, my parents are more impressed by the kid down the street who repairs ipods etc... than me working as an sw engineer. Most if they're anything like my family won't understand what they can't see... that is until it makes the 'print media', where at least it's tangible.
don't talk about whats. talk about why's.
it's good practice for your marketing. you need to talk to your market in terms of how you're going to help them kick more ass. if you talk to your relatives in terms of whom you help kick more ass, they are more likely to give a shit.
it's good practice for your marketing. you need to talk to your market in terms of how you're going to help them kick more ass. if you talk to your relatives in terms of whom you help kick more ass, they are more likely to give a shit.
I'm gonna use that!
"I help $these_kind_of_people kick more ass!"
"I help $these_kind_of_people kick more ass!"
Obligatory Penny Arcade (third panel):
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/12/31/
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/12/31/
"... How do you explain what you do to Foo? ..."
not something I've really thought of much... but at the supermarket early this morning it went something like this:
ME "Everyone is very cheery here?" (referring to singing employee - who sings at 7?)
CHECKOUT "Yes, she is quite happy always smiling."
ME "So they don't employ grumpy people? or are they just all cheery?"
CHECKOUT "No, they are all pretty happy?"
ME "Oh, I thought they would be tired (just after 7am and I'm dead tired) and grumpy" (I'm tired, I'd be grumpy)
CHECKOUT "So what do you do?"
ME "I write ...."
CHECKOUT "Ohhh (surprised)"
ME "... software."
CHECKOUT "Ah you're one of those 'computer nerds'?"
ME "Yeah... something like that."
CHECKOUT "That's a compliment you know."
I should have just left it at writing.
not something I've really thought of much... but at the supermarket early this morning it went something like this:
ME "Everyone is very cheery here?" (referring to singing employee - who sings at 7?)
CHECKOUT "Yes, she is quite happy always smiling."
ME "So they don't employ grumpy people? or are they just all cheery?"
CHECKOUT "No, they are all pretty happy?"
ME "Oh, I thought they would be tired (just after 7am and I'm dead tired) and grumpy" (I'm tired, I'd be grumpy)
CHECKOUT "So what do you do?"
ME "I write ...."
CHECKOUT "Ohhh (surprised)"
ME "... software."
CHECKOUT "Ah you're one of those 'computer nerds'?"
ME "Yeah... something like that."
CHECKOUT "That's a compliment you know."
I should have just left it at writing.
I think delivery is important. If you are showing enthusiasm while explaining the different concepts and possibilities it's often infectious. If you can do a demo-- awesome!
When dealing with money-focused people it helps to reassure them that you can support yourself by consulting when needed.
Some people are very fearful and often think everything will always go wrong. Those are the most difficult people to reach. I often give up once I detect someone has that characteristic. Just sort of change subjects and find common ground somewhere else that does not involve talking about risk, success and failure.
When dealing with money-focused people it helps to reassure them that you can support yourself by consulting when needed.
Some people are very fearful and often think everything will always go wrong. Those are the most difficult people to reach. I often give up once I detect someone has that characteristic. Just sort of change subjects and find common ground somewhere else that does not involve talking about risk, success and failure.
Say you're starting a business or have a descriptive one line: 'making a ___ site'.
"Startup," "Entrepreneur" etc. is a loaded term. I think Australia & The States are almost opposites in their reaction to these terms. I'm not born Australian (5th year), & the term doesn't describe me, so maybe I'm not the ideal person to advise here.
But I wouldn't venture further then 'starting a business.' I certainly wouldn't describe myself as an entrepreneur. Australians like to tear the tall trees to shreds. & that'd be like calling yourself a revolutionary poet.
"Startup," "Entrepreneur" etc. is a loaded term. I think Australia & The States are almost opposites in their reaction to these terms. I'm not born Australian (5th year), & the term doesn't describe me, so maybe I'm not the ideal person to advise here.
But I wouldn't venture further then 'starting a business.' I certainly wouldn't describe myself as an entrepreneur. Australians like to tear the tall trees to shreds. & that'd be like calling yourself a revolutionary poet.
"I push buttons all day." I break down programming into its most basic physical function.
Don't forget the coffee drinking!
The things I do to my relatives are so awful, I can't ever explain, no matter how many times you ask.
What I do to my relatives is difficult to explain.
My explanations of my work, though, vary with the comprehension I expect from the listener. For my uncle, an engineer with more patents than I've had drunken inspirations, I go in-depth into whatever has me most excited at the moment. For my cousin, the horse trader and Counterstrike fan, I give a general description of CND, bowdlerizing it of anything glamorous so I don't get asked to teach him how to hack.
The more difficult query comes when I don't know the questor quite as well. Unless the truth matters, and it usually doesn't, I'll take a peripheral aspect of my work and practice my story-telling abilities.
My explanations of my work, though, vary with the comprehension I expect from the listener. For my uncle, an engineer with more patents than I've had drunken inspirations, I go in-depth into whatever has me most excited at the moment. For my cousin, the horse trader and Counterstrike fan, I give a general description of CND, bowdlerizing it of anything glamorous so I don't get asked to teach him how to hack.
The more difficult query comes when I don't know the questor quite as well. Unless the truth matters, and it usually doesn't, I'll take a peripheral aspect of my work and practice my story-telling abilities.
Try to think a level above what you're doing.
"I write computer programs. No I can't fix your computer"
I really wish all my relatives read "Founders at Work" and understand the people who start-up better. I get ridiculed for working in the night and sleeping till noon and i get compared with owls and dogs for that but i always think of myself as Batman when i work all night.
This reminds me of a conversation I had with a lady at the bank once.
Lady: "What do you do, then?"
Me: "I'm a web developer"
Lady: "Oh, so a web designer!"
Me: "Er, close, I'm a web developer - I make designs work"
Lady: "Oh, I get it! So like in Microsoft Word?"
Me: "..."
Thankfully, the majority of my family are computer literate and don't require babying over the subject.
Lady: "What do you do, then?"
Me: "I'm a web developer"
Lady: "Oh, so a web designer!"
Me: "Er, close, I'm a web developer - I make designs work"
Lady: "Oh, I get it! So like in Microsoft Word?"
Me: "..."
Thankfully, the majority of my family are computer literate and don't require babying over the subject.
It's amazing what drawing a paycheck can do. Once I started making a respectable living as a blogger, my family stopped pestering me about getting a real job or going back to school.
Of course, next up might be the startup thing... that'll be a whole new battle.
Of course, next up might be the startup thing... that'll be a whole new battle.
I tell them I am in "Income Redistribution" - Gambling related software.
I shuffle bits... the customer shuffles bits... the banks shuffle bits... and everybody's happy, as long as everyone's put the right bits in the right bins.
Someone once gave me this bit of advice that usually seems to work for me:
"Sometimes a little inaccuracy can save a whole lot of explanation."
"Sometimes a little inaccuracy can save a whole lot of explanation."
I tell them what I hope to be the truth - I write software which helps businesses run their business better.
I just go with "I work in software". Nobody really cares to ask more than that usually.
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I used to say "I draw things." Now it is "I make things."
fill it with commonly understandable phrases: i work in a new "small business" as a "computer programmer" who does some "other stuff" too
Move away from home to the bay area.
"I work with computers."
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While not pertaining to relatives or holidays, here's my experience as pertains to the social pull of various careers.
Graduate student.
0: "I'm a grad student." 1: (Deadpan/barely impressed.) "Oh. You must be really smart." 0: "Don't worry. I'm not."
Analyst at a pharmaceutical consulting company.
0: "I'm a consultant." 1: "Oh." (Isn't everyone?)
Quantitative trader/developer at a hedge fund.
0: "I'm a trader." 2: "Oh." ++
Unemployed.
0: "I'm a treasure hunter." 1: WTF? OR "I'm asking what you do for a job, not..."
Working for a startup.
0: "I'm starting a tech company." 1: "Oh, cool!" 0: (Excited.) "Yeah, it's fun. I'm using a ridiculously powerful programming language called Lisp. It looks like this." (Points to some monstrosity of a macro such as ONCE-ONLY.) 1: "Uh, yeah..."
++ The use of 2 here is not a typo. Finance is not nearly as "sexy" as I thought it would be before going in, and the standard-error descriptor is, in fact, appropriate.
Graduate student.
0: "I'm a grad student." 1: (Deadpan/barely impressed.) "Oh. You must be really smart." 0: "Don't worry. I'm not."
Analyst at a pharmaceutical consulting company.
0: "I'm a consultant." 1: "Oh." (Isn't everyone?)
Quantitative trader/developer at a hedge fund.
0: "I'm a trader." 2: "Oh." ++
Unemployed.
0: "I'm a treasure hunter." 1: WTF? OR "I'm asking what you do for a job, not..."
Working for a startup.
0: "I'm starting a tech company." 1: "Oh, cool!" 0: (Excited.) "Yeah, it's fun. I'm using a ridiculously powerful programming language called Lisp. It looks like this." (Points to some monstrosity of a macro such as ONCE-ONLY.) 1: "Uh, yeah..."
++ The use of 2 here is not a typo. Finance is not nearly as "sexy" as I thought it would be before going in, and the standard-error descriptor is, in fact, appropriate.
I thought it is having lots of money that is sexy, not "finance".
Fair, but a talented young person in finance will, at least, have the opportunity to make lots of money in the future. This means that a 23-year-old trader ought to be especially a catch: buy cheap, sell dear.
I always thought "over-leveraged" was a really sexy term, myself.
I actually know a guy that is a treasure hunter. He (and several other guys) had a big find in the Caribbean a while back and now he does it full time all over the world.
I lay the bodies of my relatives in shallow graves.
I laid my relatives to rest years ago.
I don't have relatives.
My story changes from year to year.
I enjoy telling my story and explaining my business model to my family, whatever I am excited about at the time is normally easy enough to relate to something they do or understand.
I laid my relatives to rest years ago.
I don't have relatives.
My story changes from year to year.
I enjoy telling my story and explaining my business model to my family, whatever I am excited about at the time is normally easy enough to relate to something they do or understand.
Has anyone hit on a magic formula to explain what you're doing in your startup so they'll leave you alone and stop suggesting maybe you can get a job in uncle bob's shop? / you did so well at school / and so on.