Ask HN: My company has been acquired and I'm kicked out. What should I do now?
193 comments
Well, my latest startup failure left me with around $50k personal debt, some legal pursuits, expired residence visa in the country I lived in, and a 3 months old baby daughter to care and provide for. And right, no job and no upcoming interviews.
I am sorry for a probably uninvited comparison — I am not implying that my situation is harder, and I know that burnout is a serious shit. It takes months to recover.
Some things to consider:
1) Even if you feel like a failure, you are not. You are a success. Our feelings are not a reliable indicator of personal value, especially after burning out.
2) Try to do something where you can feel small improvements every few days, with enough runway before productivity plateau. Running, meditation, skateboarding, playing guitar, rock climbing — whatever looks the most interesting to you, and looks easy enough (it's important). Regularly feeling improvements in any activity is the best therapy I know.
I am sorry for a probably uninvited comparison — I am not implying that my situation is harder, and I know that burnout is a serious shit. It takes months to recover.
Some things to consider:
1) Even if you feel like a failure, you are not. You are a success. Our feelings are not a reliable indicator of personal value, especially after burning out.
2) Try to do something where you can feel small improvements every few days, with enough runway before productivity plateau. Running, meditation, skateboarding, playing guitar, rock climbing — whatever looks the most interesting to you, and looks easy enough (it's important). Regularly feeling improvements in any activity is the best therapy I know.
(2) is very important advice.
Don't worry about the big picture.
Every day, find yourself some wins and celebrate them.
Maybe it's something as small as brushing your teeth. Dental hygene rocks -- go you!
Or leaving the house and going to Starbucks, even if only to browse Reddit. Hey, getting out that door can be a big challenge.
Maybe it's going for a run or a hike. You totally owned that half-mile.
Whatever it is, write it down in a list, and look at yesterday's list every morning.
Every accomplishment, no matter how small, is a step forward.
Celebrate the fact that you made that step, and didn't give up.
One more thing:
I don't know where you, the OOP, are, mentally.
So while burnout is serious shit, depression is even more serious shit.
And we don't talk about it enough in the tech community.
Whenever I move to a new country, I immediately identify a local English-speaking hospital and dental practice. Because if I ever need them, I will need them on a very tight timeframe.
So, I would invest a little time and find a quality psychiatrist. Somebody that you feel comfortable talking to, and that gives you good advice.
Do what you would do with any professional service, and shop around until you find one you really like.
That way, if you ever really do hit rock bottom, you know where you can go, and don't need to start searching when you're in no shape to do so.
Don't worry about the big picture.
Every day, find yourself some wins and celebrate them.
Maybe it's something as small as brushing your teeth. Dental hygene rocks -- go you!
Or leaving the house and going to Starbucks, even if only to browse Reddit. Hey, getting out that door can be a big challenge.
Maybe it's going for a run or a hike. You totally owned that half-mile.
Whatever it is, write it down in a list, and look at yesterday's list every morning.
Every accomplishment, no matter how small, is a step forward.
Celebrate the fact that you made that step, and didn't give up.
One more thing:
I don't know where you, the OOP, are, mentally.
So while burnout is serious shit, depression is even more serious shit.
And we don't talk about it enough in the tech community.
Whenever I move to a new country, I immediately identify a local English-speaking hospital and dental practice. Because if I ever need them, I will need them on a very tight timeframe.
So, I would invest a little time and find a quality psychiatrist. Somebody that you feel comfortable talking to, and that gives you good advice.
Do what you would do with any professional service, and shop around until you find one you really like.
That way, if you ever really do hit rock bottom, you know where you can go, and don't need to start searching when you're in no shape to do so.
Can not agree with this enough. Burnout leads to serious depression; it left me in the ER a few times. DON'T stress man. Things work out eventually.
Thank you. Even if things are a little different for every person as they naturally are, this is good advice and I genuinely appreciate the positive attitude. As someone who has struggled with depression quite a bit, I generally have a knee-jerk reaction to "just be positive" advice, but this really sits a nice middle ground between "be positive" and "find a way to be as positive as you can".
"Just be positive" is horrible advice, even for non-depressed people.
Sometimes your world really has gone to shit. There is no shame in admitting that. Despair isn't limited only to people that have mental problems.
So you treat it like any other survival situation: take stock of your resources, focus only on your next action (and on nothing else), celebrate every win that you get, and realize that failure is going to be part of the process, too.
You're going to need every ounce of motivation and positivity that you can muster, and those ounces don't come free. So earn them, no matter how small, and bank those victories for the next day.
Slogging through a long and grueling hike isn't about focusing on the summit of the mountain. It's about taking one step. And then you repeat.
Sure, it might not be fast, and it might be hard as hell, but if you just don't quit, you will make it through.
Sometimes your world really has gone to shit. There is no shame in admitting that. Despair isn't limited only to people that have mental problems.
So you treat it like any other survival situation: take stock of your resources, focus only on your next action (and on nothing else), celebrate every win that you get, and realize that failure is going to be part of the process, too.
You're going to need every ounce of motivation and positivity that you can muster, and those ounces don't come free. So earn them, no matter how small, and bank those victories for the next day.
Slogging through a long and grueling hike isn't about focusing on the summit of the mountain. It's about taking one step. And then you repeat.
Sure, it might not be fast, and it might be hard as hell, but if you just don't quit, you will make it through.
>"Just be positive" is horrible advice, even for non-depressed people. (...) treat it like any other survival situation: take stock of your resources, focus only on your next action (and on nothing else), celebrate every win that you get, and realize that failure is going to be part of the process, too. You're going to need every ounce of motivation and positivity that you can muster, and those ounces don't come free. So earn them, no matter how small, and bank those victories for the next day. (...)
In other words, "just be positive"?
In other words, "just be positive"?
>In other words, "just be positive"?
For incredibly poor interpretations of the phrase "just be positive"
For incredibly poor interpretations of the phrase "just be positive"
Is that not being positive? With every step, I'm sure the will to quit may come, but you will never reach the summit if you quit. Therefore, if you focus on NEGATIVITY like "I'm not going to make it!" YOU NEVER WILL. If you forge on, at least you're progressing, and that is something to help motivate you to finish your mission.
Of course! :) I have to be positive for my own sake.
It's in my best interest to spread this to others, especially those who may be struggling as well. Psychologically, this is a very rewarding thing to do..even when you don't feel the best, if you can make another happy, it will most likely make you happy as well. I'm glad you cared enough to respond :).
Piggybacking on your point, there's a ton of value in linear relationships and guaranteed wins.
If you pick up a guitar and play it for an hour, you're probably going to get a little bit better. Likewise, if you go for a run, you're going to be a little bit faster the next day.
These sorts of relationships can be really good for our brains after founding a startup, where there isn't always a clear relationship between what you put in and what you get out.
If you pick up a guitar and play it for an hour, you're probably going to get a little bit better. Likewise, if you go for a run, you're going to be a little bit faster the next day.
These sorts of relationships can be really good for our brains after founding a startup, where there isn't always a clear relationship between what you put in and what you get out.
This happened to me awhile ago too. Some mismanagement on my part. Left me with around 44k of debt.
I never let that put me down. What I did instead was to find more work since I do consulting and pay down the debt and still get a decent living.
So lesson is to learn from your mistakes and find solutions to your problems and keep on fighting.
You'd be surprised how many people actually have it worse than us but the key here is to not give up.
I never let that put me down. What I did instead was to find more work since I do consulting and pay down the debt and still get a decent living.
So lesson is to learn from your mistakes and find solutions to your problems and keep on fighting.
You'd be surprised how many people actually have it worse than us but the key here is to not give up.
I agree on #2. I burned out and lived off my savings for a while (granted I was fortunate in that I HAD savings), and started biking and working out more to try to accomplish a long-time goal which I had always told myself I didn't have time for. I lost 45 lbs and eventually started gaining muscle. Being able to bike farther and farther each day without wanting to die gave me motivation to keep going, and further the numbers on the scale helped.
"Our feelings are not a reliable indicator of personal value, especially after burning out."
This is awesome advice for any situation brilliantly sumerized. Thank you!
This is awesome advice for any situation brilliantly sumerized. Thank you!
Ha, throwaway here, too - I wanted to post that kind of question as well in the last weeks, but I am starting to figure how to get back on the track.
My background: 39, failed a couple of companies - the last one was the only true high profile project (in biotechnology). As a bonus, my co-founder tried to make me sign some IP related documents once we were going under, proving that the person I was living with the last two years of my life was a complete human disappointment.
I am a scientist, multilingual, deep expertise in chemistry, skills in biotech, IT, and the whole startup salad. CV wise in Europe, I am totally out of the norm, have no life partner, and had to struggle to get back to life. No savings left, so I actually moved in to the cellar of my parents place. Additional bonus: All the stress of the last years start to pay off and gave me some bad health surprises, and I had to face a 2-3 month long depression.
Fortunately, I got our of it, and I am not facing the same thing?
Where do I fit in? What should I do with my beautiful, finite life? Work in a company? Get a wife? Get kids? Save up money to start my next project?
Take a break, think about what you want in life, re-evaluate your situation, and move on. C'est la vie.
If anyone wants to get in touch - here is my email: [email protected]
:^)
My background: 39, failed a couple of companies - the last one was the only true high profile project (in biotechnology). As a bonus, my co-founder tried to make me sign some IP related documents once we were going under, proving that the person I was living with the last two years of my life was a complete human disappointment.
I am a scientist, multilingual, deep expertise in chemistry, skills in biotech, IT, and the whole startup salad. CV wise in Europe, I am totally out of the norm, have no life partner, and had to struggle to get back to life. No savings left, so I actually moved in to the cellar of my parents place. Additional bonus: All the stress of the last years start to pay off and gave me some bad health surprises, and I had to face a 2-3 month long depression.
Fortunately, I got our of it, and I am not facing the same thing?
Where do I fit in? What should I do with my beautiful, finite life? Work in a company? Get a wife? Get kids? Save up money to start my next project?
Take a break, think about what you want in life, re-evaluate your situation, and move on. C'est la vie.
If anyone wants to get in touch - here is my email: [email protected]
:^)
Even if you feel like a failure, you are not.
"Remember that failure is an event, not a person." Zig Ziglar
"Remember that failure is an event, not a person." Zig Ziglar
Your situation sounds much worse. There is no need to apologize for making a useful comparison which brings perspective to the discussion.
No offense but most of the sob stories that make HN front page sound like whining from a spoiled brat. Your case sounds like proper bad/tough.
I guess at least you've gained some skills from all this.
No offense but most of the sob stories that make HN front page sound like whining from a spoiled brat. Your case sounds like proper bad/tough.
I guess at least you've gained some skills from all this.
2) is very important. I was in a rather similar situation as OP and thought "I have to do things to keep my mind distracted", so I started trying to do several things every day. After a while I wanted/needed to have a way to track my own habits and I came up with https://everydaycheck.com . Really, doing a little bit every day helps in not feeling like an imposter!
Wow, thank you for the perspective. I've been feeling similar, but on the spectrum my situation is not so bad. Do you have a blog or contact? I'd be glad to get to know you.
> Well, my latest startup failure left me with around $50k personal debt, some legal pursuits, expired residence visa in the country I lived in, and a 3 months old baby daughter to care and provide for.
I'm having trouble imagining a scenario where the last item is really a proximate consequence of the startup failure (rather than a bit of context that makes the problems that are such consequences more acute.)
I'm having trouble imagining a scenario where the last item is really a proximate consequence of the startup failure (rather than a bit of context that makes the problems that are such consequences more acute.)
This was around 3 years ago. Things are much better now.
Some context: not all startups are financed with external investments; some happen to run from founders' personal savings and debt. I consider myself, as an ex-CEO, to be fully responsible for the failure, but it doesn't make myself a failure. I lived and learned through the experience.
Some context: not all startups are financed with external investments; some happen to run from founders' personal savings and debt. I consider myself, as an ex-CEO, to be fully responsible for the failure, but it doesn't make myself a failure. I lived and learned through the experience.
probably for the same reason there were so many summer 2009 babies in apartment buildings full of wall st types. :)
Despite the smiley, there's a not-implausible explanation implied by that.
> I'm having trouble imagining a scenario where the last item is really a proximate consequence of the startup failure
That's pretty easy for me. Let me try to give an example: start-ups are really hard on relationships, starts-ups that are failing and that you are trying to save doubly so. There is a small chance that that led to relationship issues which in turn led to OP now is a single parent.
There are lots of other explanations besides.
That's pretty easy for me. Let me try to give an example: start-ups are really hard on relationships, starts-ups that are failing and that you are trying to save doubly so. There is a small chance that that led to relationship issues which in turn led to OP now is a single parent.
There are lots of other explanations besides.
I didn't read in an implicit “on my own” like you seem to have, but I agree that that is a plausible reading, and a fair description of a causal scenario given that reading.
English is not my first language - does OP really imply he is a single parent simply stating "and a 3 months old baby daughter to care and provide for."
I would say the same even though I'm happily living with my wife. Nursery cost and rent alone would cause financial difficulty.
You can save on nursery but a 3 months old is a full time job if you don't have family around (which an immigrant like me and op is unlikely to have)
I would say the same even though I'm happily living with my wife. Nursery cost and rent alone would cause financial difficulty.
You can save on nursery but a 3 months old is a full time job if you don't have family around (which an immigrant like me and op is unlikely to have)
Hey there throwaway,
First of all, this is really not all that bad: you got paid, and you have a years worth of $ in the bank.
Good. Now, the first thing to do is to make sure that you get into a mode where you extend your runway, turn that 12 months into 13 months and so on. Doing nothing for 3 months is enough to recharge your batteries a little bit.
Figure out what your monthly expenses are and then try to find something - anything, really - that pays you just a bit more than that so that you can remain floating while you work out what to do next.
Please do not consider yourself a failure in any way, I've run the same company for almost two decades before getting back a little over what I put in initially. I don't consider that a failure either (maybe I should ;) ), and you managed to do this in a substantially shorter time.
Sooner or later a new real opportunity will come by: use all the lessons you learned and your new perspective on life to make the call on what is worth your time and if and when that happens you can roll the dice once more. But don't get seduced by risking that head-start that you now have over most other people on something with a low chance of success.
Then you might end up losing all the time you put in.
If you're like me - and I really hope you are not - and you're continuously tempted to spend your money in unwise ways then I suggest you buy some real estate in a place where the market is reasonably fluid or, if you already own a house, to simply dump it (or at least a sizable fraction of it) in your mortgage. That way it will last long, will have an immediate ROI (if it is your own house) and you avoid the temptation to spend it piecemeal until there is nothing left.
Best of luck!
First of all, this is really not all that bad: you got paid, and you have a years worth of $ in the bank.
Good. Now, the first thing to do is to make sure that you get into a mode where you extend your runway, turn that 12 months into 13 months and so on. Doing nothing for 3 months is enough to recharge your batteries a little bit.
Figure out what your monthly expenses are and then try to find something - anything, really - that pays you just a bit more than that so that you can remain floating while you work out what to do next.
Please do not consider yourself a failure in any way, I've run the same company for almost two decades before getting back a little over what I put in initially. I don't consider that a failure either (maybe I should ;) ), and you managed to do this in a substantially shorter time.
Sooner or later a new real opportunity will come by: use all the lessons you learned and your new perspective on life to make the call on what is worth your time and if and when that happens you can roll the dice once more. But don't get seduced by risking that head-start that you now have over most other people on something with a low chance of success.
Then you might end up losing all the time you put in.
If you're like me - and I really hope you are not - and you're continuously tempted to spend your money in unwise ways then I suggest you buy some real estate in a place where the market is reasonably fluid or, if you already own a house, to simply dump it (or at least a sizable fraction of it) in your mortgage. That way it will last long, will have an immediate ROI (if it is your own house) and you avoid the temptation to spend it piecemeal until there is nothing left.
Best of luck!
"Failure".
I'm about your same age. I have a carreer which, arrogantly, everyone I know considers "pretty damn good"
I've shipped a fraction of what you have in terms of end to end solutions, let alone piloting the ship as a founder would have to. I've learned skill sets deep in narrow areas, but this has left me wanting for broad exposure and heterogenous understanding.
Your experiences and _successes_ (you SHIPPED, even if it failed after N years, and that's not even including a fucking _sale_; how many engineers get even close to that far?) give you skill sets that I couldn't easily replicate from my entire peer network. Do not sell yourself short. Even if you HAD failed, and spectacularly (and both times!) that's still a remarkable amount of firsthand experience that, outside of any pathological decisions on your part I don't know about, may not say anything negative at all about your choices and decisions. (and even if it did, experience is experience, you make mistakes and learn from them, and are so much more valuable after. Did you see the HN lashback to the eng. getting punished for deleting prod? and that's a pretty damn overt failure.)
I can ramble on as the above well demonstrates, largely because I have a deep wellspring of reasons why you're being silly. Please don't take this to be a statement meant in insult, I'm sitting here amazed at your accomplishments as I'm reading, get to your conclusion, and go "wait what why huge failure no stop that".
Actionably, maybe go work for a bigCo/midstage/something more grounded for a few years. Keep yourself stable and sane, see what exists in the world and what other people have done. I hope it will help you see the perspective I have, which paints your accomplishments in a very favorable light. (more importantly, don't take my advice literally, I'm saying broadly, do something to keep yourself afloat, employable, and to give yourself time to unwind and just _do shit_ as you want. Some amount of stability and freedom has done volumes in my own life for regaining mental strength in periods of conflict.) And do this in the knowledge and confidence that this engineer would consider himself lucky to work with and learn from someone who has "failed" as much as you have :)
I'm about your same age. I have a carreer which, arrogantly, everyone I know considers "pretty damn good"
I've shipped a fraction of what you have in terms of end to end solutions, let alone piloting the ship as a founder would have to. I've learned skill sets deep in narrow areas, but this has left me wanting for broad exposure and heterogenous understanding.
Your experiences and _successes_ (you SHIPPED, even if it failed after N years, and that's not even including a fucking _sale_; how many engineers get even close to that far?) give you skill sets that I couldn't easily replicate from my entire peer network. Do not sell yourself short. Even if you HAD failed, and spectacularly (and both times!) that's still a remarkable amount of firsthand experience that, outside of any pathological decisions on your part I don't know about, may not say anything negative at all about your choices and decisions. (and even if it did, experience is experience, you make mistakes and learn from them, and are so much more valuable after. Did you see the HN lashback to the eng. getting punished for deleting prod? and that's a pretty damn overt failure.)
I can ramble on as the above well demonstrates, largely because I have a deep wellspring of reasons why you're being silly. Please don't take this to be a statement meant in insult, I'm sitting here amazed at your accomplishments as I'm reading, get to your conclusion, and go "wait what why huge failure no stop that".
Actionably, maybe go work for a bigCo/midstage/something more grounded for a few years. Keep yourself stable and sane, see what exists in the world and what other people have done. I hope it will help you see the perspective I have, which paints your accomplishments in a very favorable light. (more importantly, don't take my advice literally, I'm saying broadly, do something to keep yourself afloat, employable, and to give yourself time to unwind and just _do shit_ as you want. Some amount of stability and freedom has done volumes in my own life for regaining mental strength in periods of conflict.) And do this in the knowledge and confidence that this engineer would consider himself lucky to work with and learn from someone who has "failed" as much as you have :)
This is an excellent response. I'd like to add my support and voice similar sentiments for OP: I'm doing ok myself, and you've accomplished far more than I have. I know from personal experience that I'm my own worst critic. You may feel stupid, unskilled, or whatever, but when you begin interacting with people again, you'll find that you DO have plenty to offer.
A perceived failure is discouraging - but you've been gaining experience and growing along the way. This hasn't been a total loss.
A perceived failure is discouraging - but you've been gaining experience and growing along the way. This hasn't been a total loss.
I'm thirding this here, I'm about the same age, worked in a bunch of different things and technologies, helped startups create their product from ground zero, been to startup events and talks with investors and now I've accomplished my dream of being able to live abroad, out of my home country.
And even then I've not come close to the first hand experience you have now, 7 years driving two companies.
So don't be too harsh on yourself, you're doing very well, way above most of people even in your country.
And even then I've not come close to the first hand experience you have now, 7 years driving two companies.
So don't be too harsh on yourself, you're doing very well, way above most of people even in your country.
You made money to live for a year, that's great!
Things you can do for 6-9 months (save at least 3 months as emergency fund) before you decide your next step and could possibly lead to either a new startup or new job:
- Entrepreneur in Residence or Mentor to an accelerator (not sure where you are)
- Mentor or Advisor to local seed stage startups
- Advisor to local angel group or fund to help in technical due diligence and general advise
- All of the above but in different countries (Happy to help in Latin America)
Your experience can help founders tremendously, as a former serial entrepreneur and an investor now I find that my experience in what NOT to do is very valuable to founders. In the process you might find a company you can join or your next idea, or perhaps find the investment side of things interesting and start a career there.
Here are some options that your experience brings:
- VP of Product / Product Manager at post-A companies: A PM is like a running a mini company, they need to know marketing, engineering, product and a bit of finance to make a product team work well.
- Founder Again: You have more money left than what most founders start out with, as an investor I like backing founders with failures in the past.
- Venture Partner / EIR: Depending on where you are there's usually funds / accelerators that can use people with technical background and startup experience to help portfolio companies and perhaps even bring some additional dealflow.
Things you can do for 6-9 months (save at least 3 months as emergency fund) before you decide your next step and could possibly lead to either a new startup or new job:
- Entrepreneur in Residence or Mentor to an accelerator (not sure where you are)
- Mentor or Advisor to local seed stage startups
- Advisor to local angel group or fund to help in technical due diligence and general advise
- All of the above but in different countries (Happy to help in Latin America)
Your experience can help founders tremendously, as a former serial entrepreneur and an investor now I find that my experience in what NOT to do is very valuable to founders. In the process you might find a company you can join or your next idea, or perhaps find the investment side of things interesting and start a career there.
Here are some options that your experience brings:
- VP of Product / Product Manager at post-A companies: A PM is like a running a mini company, they need to know marketing, engineering, product and a bit of finance to make a product team work well.
- Founder Again: You have more money left than what most founders start out with, as an investor I like backing founders with failures in the past.
- Venture Partner / EIR: Depending on where you are there's usually funds / accelerators that can use people with technical background and startup experience to help portfolio companies and perhaps even bring some additional dealflow.
It's important to not jump back into a startup as a founder/owner. Take some time to decompress and figure out what went right, what went wrong, and what lessons you've learned.
Being a mentor or an advisor is a great way to stay active and involved without the crushing pressure that comes with a start-up. Once you get yourself oriented, dive back in if that's what you're feeling up to.
Being a mentor or an advisor is a great way to stay active and involved without the crushing pressure that comes with a start-up. Once you get yourself oriented, dive back in if that's what you're feeling up to.
I went through something quite similar twenty years ago. I had co-founded a software company starting in the back-end programming role and evolving into "President" and later "CTO" after we were funded. I put those in quotes because I had no clue at all what I was doing. A few years down the road we sold out for a bit under the preferences and I was out of a job. The past few years had not really qualified me to be anything other than an entrepreneur. My engineering skills had grown rusty. There was no way I would pass a development interview.
After about nine months I was hired as a senior VP in a mid-sized public corp and spent almost a year there. I hated it. I came out of that place determined to get back to doing the sort of software engineering work I knew I was suited for and could make a decent living at. I sharpened my skills. I wrote some side projects. I focused on small startups and consultancies, and over a period of about five years rebuilt myself a career doing what I love. I probably won't ever do another startup at this point, but I consider myself fortunate to have found my niche.
After about nine months I was hired as a senior VP in a mid-sized public corp and spent almost a year there. I hated it. I came out of that place determined to get back to doing the sort of software engineering work I knew I was suited for and could make a decent living at. I sharpened my skills. I wrote some side projects. I focused on small startups and consultancies, and over a period of about five years rebuilt myself a career doing what I love. I probably won't ever do another startup at this point, but I consider myself fortunate to have found my niche.
Hi!
What a ride you've been on!
I read your post and two things jumped out that I would like to address.
#1: You are exhausted
Rightly so! Building a company, keeping it alive, and selling it is exhausting in the best of circumstances. You do need a break. But please, don't do "nothing". Don't go back to work. Don't start another company just yet. But don't sit on a couch with a beer in your hand either.
Travel, exercise, pick up a new sport or hobby, perhaps learn how to play chess well. Keep your mind and body occupied in a productive and positive way. The exhaustion and built up tension will go away.
#2: You're not good at anything and feel like a failure
How wrong you are! You are not a failure. You have super-valuable skills, but just don't know how to name them and sell them.
You attempted two experiments that did not pan out. You provided jobs for people. You even managed to have a small albeit fruitful exit in your second venture. Wow!
Sorry to hear it did not pan out the way you've hoped. That happens more often than not.
Your skills: management & leadership, plus whatever hard skills you have.
Your future:
If you are feeling restless and want a job now, look for positions in companies that match your skills. Middle management in big firms. Upper management in small firms. Something that fits with your area of expertise and something you enjoy doing. It may be sales, marketing, or tech. Your experience in leadership and management that you acquired while running your firms, coupled with any amount of hard skills is a very marketable skill.
On the other hand, if you have already founded two companies, my crystal ball tells me you will go on to start a third. Don't do it now to fill a void. Do it when your gut tells you its time and your mind proposes a viable idea. This may be after six months of learning judo, or after a two year stint at a big corporation. Entrepreneurship is a trait, and it seems you have it in you.
Best of luck!
What a ride you've been on!
I read your post and two things jumped out that I would like to address.
#1: You are exhausted
Rightly so! Building a company, keeping it alive, and selling it is exhausting in the best of circumstances. You do need a break. But please, don't do "nothing". Don't go back to work. Don't start another company just yet. But don't sit on a couch with a beer in your hand either.
Travel, exercise, pick up a new sport or hobby, perhaps learn how to play chess well. Keep your mind and body occupied in a productive and positive way. The exhaustion and built up tension will go away.
#2: You're not good at anything and feel like a failure
How wrong you are! You are not a failure. You have super-valuable skills, but just don't know how to name them and sell them.
You attempted two experiments that did not pan out. You provided jobs for people. You even managed to have a small albeit fruitful exit in your second venture. Wow!
Sorry to hear it did not pan out the way you've hoped. That happens more often than not.
Your skills: management & leadership, plus whatever hard skills you have.
Your future:
If you are feeling restless and want a job now, look for positions in companies that match your skills. Middle management in big firms. Upper management in small firms. Something that fits with your area of expertise and something you enjoy doing. It may be sales, marketing, or tech. Your experience in leadership and management that you acquired while running your firms, coupled with any amount of hard skills is a very marketable skill.
On the other hand, if you have already founded two companies, my crystal ball tells me you will go on to start a third. Don't do it now to fill a void. Do it when your gut tells you its time and your mind proposes a viable idea. This may be after six months of learning judo, or after a two year stint at a big corporation. Entrepreneurship is a trait, and it seems you have it in you.
Best of luck!
I am beginning year 4 as a co-founder of a startup. I know how tough it can be, and how it can feel when you don't accomplish what you set out to.
People seem to be keep saying that you shouldn't get down on yourself. While true in the long term, it's perfectly normal to feel down sometimes. You've been through a lot. It's OK to feel fear and anxiety, and even question yourself at times. So long as you realize that it's temporary. Because you will bounce back. The fear and anxiety make it so, because it motives us. You are tough and determined, or you wouldn't have lasted anywhere close to this point. Respect!
Another thing to consider is.. what is your end goal? Is it to constantly be challenged? Is it loving to start from scratch and build something with a small team? If so, take a break, and try again. You aren't even 30. If your end goal is a slower pace and more financial stability, because you think long term that is what you will want, take a role at an established company. Your experience and determination as an entrepreneur will be sought after. And you can always do side projects.
Lastly, keep in mind why you took the risks in the first place. If you didn't try, you wouldn't have been happy. It's ok to feel what you feel. Take some time to rest and re-charge. You'll be back :)
People seem to be keep saying that you shouldn't get down on yourself. While true in the long term, it's perfectly normal to feel down sometimes. You've been through a lot. It's OK to feel fear and anxiety, and even question yourself at times. So long as you realize that it's temporary. Because you will bounce back. The fear and anxiety make it so, because it motives us. You are tough and determined, or you wouldn't have lasted anywhere close to this point. Respect!
Another thing to consider is.. what is your end goal? Is it to constantly be challenged? Is it loving to start from scratch and build something with a small team? If so, take a break, and try again. You aren't even 30. If your end goal is a slower pace and more financial stability, because you think long term that is what you will want, take a role at an established company. Your experience and determination as an entrepreneur will be sought after. And you can always do side projects.
Lastly, keep in mind why you took the risks in the first place. If you didn't try, you wouldn't have been happy. It's ok to feel what you feel. Take some time to rest and re-charge. You'll be back :)
- Take a break
- Experiment with new technologies
You're burned out right now so you're not seeing the big picture. Or rather, you think you're seeing the big picture, which is that you're fucked. But you're really not. You're in a great place and I'm sure your next company will be a success.
Take some time off to reorient yourself, then when you come back to the computer, don't work on anything specific. Just chill and play with new technologies. One day you'll have an epiphany, see an obvious market void, and then your motivation to build a product will come roaring back.
Whatever you do, don't get a job... cmon man that sounds entirely out of line with everything you told us about yourself. That would be a huge waste. Keep plugging away. You'll have success soon.
- Experiment with new technologies
You're burned out right now so you're not seeing the big picture. Or rather, you think you're seeing the big picture, which is that you're fucked. But you're really not. You're in a great place and I'm sure your next company will be a success.
Take some time off to reorient yourself, then when you come back to the computer, don't work on anything specific. Just chill and play with new technologies. One day you'll have an epiphany, see an obvious market void, and then your motivation to build a product will come roaring back.
Whatever you do, don't get a job... cmon man that sounds entirely out of line with everything you told us about yourself. That would be a huge waste. Keep plugging away. You'll have success soon.
> cmon man that sounds entirely out of line with everything you told us about yourself.
I don't agree with that. Having a job for a while is great way to keep your time structured (OP has a problem with that guessing from what the wrote) and to stay in contact with other human beings.
Even though I'm always going to be happier as 'my own boss' I've had jobs just to tide me over for a bit or to help out some friends' business. None of those were permanent but long enough to regain a grip on the compass before deciding where to move on to next. That can take some time and that time will eat up your savings rapidly. Better to make that time count for something rather than nothing.
I don't agree with that. Having a job for a while is great way to keep your time structured (OP has a problem with that guessing from what the wrote) and to stay in contact with other human beings.
Even though I'm always going to be happier as 'my own boss' I've had jobs just to tide me over for a bit or to help out some friends' business. None of those were permanent but long enough to regain a grip on the compass before deciding where to move on to next. That can take some time and that time will eat up your savings rapidly. Better to make that time count for something rather than nothing.
If you're used to working at startup speed, just take a job. It'll seem easy, people will work way fewer hours, and at lower intensity, than you're used to, and you'll catch up to them skill-wise in a few years. Don't beat yourself up too much.
Source: was in same position 5 years ago. Email in sig if you want to grab a drink.
Source: was in same position 5 years ago. Email in sig if you want to grab a drink.
^This. Working at a big company is about 10% as hard as working at a startup as a founder (maybe less). HR people love applicants with an "entrepreneurial spirit", and founders are often great product managers at big companies. Give yourself 18 months to do a great job in that role, and spend 25% of your personal time looking for problems within that type of company that could be solved with technology. Build a prototype of a solution nights and weekends, raise a seed round, and then start a new company. (That's what I did).
> HR people love applications with an "entrepreneurial spirit"
This has been the exact opposite of my experience.
I think HR is more likely to say "reject immediately, not an exact fit for the job we are looking for and anyway he or she will probably leave to start another startup soon"
This has been the exact opposite of my experience.
I think HR is more likely to say "reject immediately, not an exact fit for the job we are looking for and anyway he or she will probably leave to start another startup soon"
Interesting. Maybe it would have been more accurate to say my former managers loved an entrepreneurial spirit. Don't have as much experience with HR directly.
HR typically like people who have been doing the exact same job for the past 5 years.
In the corporate world, its hard to change positions because you are type cast.
In the corporate world, its hard to change positions because you are type cast.
Unless you end up working in a big company, where people realize you have a wide range of skills, assign you too much work thinking you can do it all, and you end up working hard for the company and not for yourself.
I had a somewhat similar situation at a similar age though the industry and specifics were different. I moved to Yunnan province in China, taught myself to draw with a pencil and paper. Then bought a Wacom Bamboo tablet and a copy of Adobe Flash and started learning how to make digital art and web games. After that, I moved to California learned how to code at a professional level and worked at some tech companies in the bay area.
I don't think that it's been a net financial win (yet), but I really think it was worth it to experience other parts of life that I'd been ignoring when I had my nose to the grindstone and had tunnel-vision induced by that business. If anything, it would have been better to branched out sooner!
If you truly feel like a failure, try moving abroad for a few months. Meet and talk with people you never would have in your own country. See how they see life. Listen to their stories and their goals. You might be surprised to find that you're not the failure you thought. You might also discover opportunities to take advantage of your skills that you had never considered before.
I don't think that it's been a net financial win (yet), but I really think it was worth it to experience other parts of life that I'd been ignoring when I had my nose to the grindstone and had tunnel-vision induced by that business. If anything, it would have been better to branched out sooner!
If you truly feel like a failure, try moving abroad for a few months. Meet and talk with people you never would have in your own country. See how they see life. Listen to their stories and their goals. You might be surprised to find that you're not the failure you thought. You might also discover opportunities to take advantage of your skills that you had never considered before.
Was in a very similar position a few years ago after two startups and 7years with zero returns.
More actionably, dev+fin+products = pm in a fintech company or bank. Or fin+products = evangelist for fintech api startup Or dev+fin = dev at fintech Or dev+prod = product manager anywhere. Or fin+startup = coo for an ops heavy startup at series b+ Check out pmarca archive on careers for support.
I spent my next 4 yrs at two of the big 4 sw companies as a product manager. Best choice ever, huge pay, lots of resources. got lots of shit done at a much faster pace than they are used to. Not stressful compared to startup life. Helped me get a new network, new perspectives, new resources.
Four years to the month, I quit, and now doing a startup again ,and this time it's going much better so far :)
So it ain't the end of the world, just a blip on your journey to eventually building something big.
Will it be your third or fourth or seventh startup that makes it big? Who knows?
The key is to survive that long and make each startup better and you sound like the kind of person who will.
May the force be with you!
More actionably, dev+fin+products = pm in a fintech company or bank. Or fin+products = evangelist for fintech api startup Or dev+fin = dev at fintech Or dev+prod = product manager anywhere. Or fin+startup = coo for an ops heavy startup at series b+ Check out pmarca archive on careers for support.
I spent my next 4 yrs at two of the big 4 sw companies as a product manager. Best choice ever, huge pay, lots of resources. got lots of shit done at a much faster pace than they are used to. Not stressful compared to startup life. Helped me get a new network, new perspectives, new resources.
Four years to the month, I quit, and now doing a startup again ,and this time it's going much better so far :)
So it ain't the end of the world, just a blip on your journey to eventually building something big.
Will it be your third or fourth or seventh startup that makes it big? Who knows?
The key is to survive that long and make each startup better and you sound like the kind of person who will.
May the force be with you!
I was in a situation like this at some point. I wrote the following blog post from a now deleted blog:
"You only need one
Flash back to early 2008, it was the end of my first interview after deciding to move on from my first start up, www.virtualstocktrading.com. I was fairly demoralized from what I had perceived as the failure of my first start-up(looking back I was actually ramen noodles profitable-- I wasn‘t aware of the terminology at the time) so much so that I express my disappointment in how it turned out in the interview. The interviewer said to me “You only need one to succeed”, and a smile crept across my face at a time when smiles rarely came naturally.
I smiled because this is exactly something I would have said if it wasn’t my start-up, and the statement is true. That statement is why I'm here trying again at my third attempt at creating a start-up, timeline-x.com [The second was pock.it, shout out to Odi, Tom and Mike]. My hope is one of these start-ups will shoot the moon.
The statement provided some much needed perspective; that in fact, I hadn't fail, only made my first try. I mentally glance over stuff I had learnt, the code base I had built and the contacts I had made. No VirtualStockTrading.com wasn't a failure it was a setup for the rest start-ups to come[Used some of my code in pock.it].
Hope if these words meet you in despair, they would do the same for you as it did me: “You only need one!”"
"You only need one
Flash back to early 2008, it was the end of my first interview after deciding to move on from my first start up, www.virtualstocktrading.com. I was fairly demoralized from what I had perceived as the failure of my first start-up(looking back I was actually ramen noodles profitable-- I wasn‘t aware of the terminology at the time) so much so that I express my disappointment in how it turned out in the interview. The interviewer said to me “You only need one to succeed”, and a smile crept across my face at a time when smiles rarely came naturally.
I smiled because this is exactly something I would have said if it wasn’t my start-up, and the statement is true. That statement is why I'm here trying again at my third attempt at creating a start-up, timeline-x.com [The second was pock.it, shout out to Odi, Tom and Mike]. My hope is one of these start-ups will shoot the moon.
The statement provided some much needed perspective; that in fact, I hadn't fail, only made my first try. I mentally glance over stuff I had learnt, the code base I had built and the contacts I had made. No VirtualStockTrading.com wasn't a failure it was a setup for the rest start-ups to come[Used some of my code in pock.it].
Hope if these words meet you in despair, they would do the same for you as it did me: “You only need one!”"
You founded 2 startups. You're already 2 steps ahead of those who founded zero. You have knowledge of the full life cycle of a company. You allegedly failed but failure (like success) is subjective and you did gain knowledge you would not have had you "succeeded". Again that puts you a few steps ahead of others.
You can go at it again - do another venture.
Or you can join someone else's idea (which you believe in) and do it together. You can consult other startups with who are just starting out. You can take the time to perfect one of the skills you acquired. Hopefully in the area that you found most attractive and interesting.
You are in a good position. You did not fail.
I can't give you any career advice, but given that you have a little money in the bank I'll tell you what I'd do: take a vacation.
There are so few times in the average career where there's any opportunity to take a long (months) break from work. Most people in our industry jump from job to job with maybe a week or two in between.
Go somewhere youve never been and hang out. Maybe the next move will become obvious to you with that kind of space.
There are so few times in the average career where there's any opportunity to take a long (months) break from work. Most people in our industry jump from job to job with maybe a week or two in between.
Go somewhere youve never been and hang out. Maybe the next move will become obvious to you with that kind of space.
+1 for vacation or a mini-sabatical for a few months if you can. If you can put the problem of what to do aside for now and just take some time to renew yourself you'll be surprised at how you'll feel.
Burnout and depression, are tough. I'm currently going through both and find myself asking similar questions.
As far as what to do with life "now", that is the greatest problem that you will spend a lifetime trying to solve.
while (life = true) { echo "what now?" }
## My Own Advice ## For me, getting back to basics is my current pursuit (currently only a dream). I think our generation is generally accepting of the idea to live sustainable and detached from the economic machine.
It's ok to not know what the next steps are, take that as a sign that you need to slow down, reflect, and heal.
You are more experienced than you give credit for, but it's tough to see the entire picture when you are looking through a magnifying glass.
Find a mentor, counselor, or therapist to talk with. Heck, even a friend who has been through something like this would be good for you. Basically, get those thoughts out in the open so that you can hear yourself talk. Just by talking you will validate how you feel, what you think, and ultimately take steps towards feeling better.
Meditation helps. Recently I've developed for the first time in my life anxiety attacks that leave me with chest wall pain. I attribute this to recent events in my family, work, and trying to meet society's expectations. But, I have found that meditation has helped me bring some peace to my life. Gardening, sitting by a fire, playing with my dog, woodworking, listening to music, these are just a few of many things you can do find peace in your mind.
Too bad we couldn't grab lunch or coffee. I would enjoy hearing your story.
As far as what to do with life "now", that is the greatest problem that you will spend a lifetime trying to solve.
while (life = true) { echo "what now?" }
## My Own Advice ## For me, getting back to basics is my current pursuit (currently only a dream). I think our generation is generally accepting of the idea to live sustainable and detached from the economic machine.
It's ok to not know what the next steps are, take that as a sign that you need to slow down, reflect, and heal.
You are more experienced than you give credit for, but it's tough to see the entire picture when you are looking through a magnifying glass.
Find a mentor, counselor, or therapist to talk with. Heck, even a friend who has been through something like this would be good for you. Basically, get those thoughts out in the open so that you can hear yourself talk. Just by talking you will validate how you feel, what you think, and ultimately take steps towards feeling better.
Meditation helps. Recently I've developed for the first time in my life anxiety attacks that leave me with chest wall pain. I attribute this to recent events in my family, work, and trying to meet society's expectations. But, I have found that meditation has helped me bring some peace to my life. Gardening, sitting by a fire, playing with my dog, woodworking, listening to music, these are just a few of many things you can do find peace in your mind.
Too bad we couldn't grab lunch or coffee. I would enjoy hearing your story.
You've probably built up a decent skillset that would be valuable to a growing startup, if you're interested in working for someone else for a change. Don't be discouraged that you're not an "expert" in any one field... being able to wear a lot of hats is a good thing for startups and small companies. If, for example, you joined a company as an engineer, your experience in other areas like product design will help you work with and understand the product designers there.
Joining a larger company than the one's you've founded might help round out your skills, too.
Most tech startups fail... yours failing doesn't make you a failure. Your other option is to take what you've learned along the way and try again. I've you've previously founded solo, it may be worth thinking about trying again with a partner or two, if there are some candidates to do that with that you've met along the way. They can help with skills and experience you don't have, and can help keep you motivated when you're feeling down.
Joining a larger company than the one's you've founded might help round out your skills, too.
Most tech startups fail... yours failing doesn't make you a failure. Your other option is to take what you've learned along the way and try again. I've you've previously founded solo, it may be worth thinking about trying again with a partner or two, if there are some candidates to do that with that you've met along the way. They can help with skills and experience you don't have, and can help keep you motivated when you're feeling down.
Take time to mourn. If you haven't been doing that in the last three months, do it now.
Take time to rest. If you haven't been doing that in the last three months, (try to) do it now. This means stopping worrying about your future for a bit. Give yourself a month to have fun and be lazy, without feeling guilty about it. (That is, try to do so. If you find that you can't, well, you can't.)
And then it's time to figure out the next step.
By the way, something like 90% of startups fail. You had two out of two startups fail. This shouldn't surprise you. It's the most likely outcome.
Take time to rest. If you haven't been doing that in the last three months, (try to) do it now. This means stopping worrying about your future for a bit. Give yourself a month to have fun and be lazy, without feeling guilty about it. (That is, try to do so. If you find that you can't, well, you can't.)
And then it's time to figure out the next step.
By the way, something like 90% of startups fail. You had two out of two startups fail. This shouldn't surprise you. It's the most likely outcome.
To get over a similar experience, I moved from a city in an expensive country to a village in a cheap country. The money I got would last me many more years than it would have otherwise, so I had time to relax, get over things and order my thoughts. Worked well for me.
You should apply for jobs at startups -- get in touch with your fellow founders. You have a unique skill-set & mindset which I'm pretty sure will be valued by the right company & team.
As you've noted, doing nothing will only make the bad feelings get worse - it's best to start getting in touch and talking with people, it's the best way to decompress IMO.
As you've noted, doing nothing will only make the bad feelings get worse - it's best to start getting in touch and talking with people, it's the best way to decompress IMO.
You've learned a ton, don't get down on yourself. You've learned more than you realize. Email me if you want to brainstorm new company ideas.
It's difficult to fit into a regular job after being a founder. Go ahead and do it, if that feels right to you. But I'm guessing that's not the case.
It's difficult to fit into a regular job after being a founder. Go ahead and do it, if that feels right to you. But I'm guessing that's not the case.
I like this attitude. I wish I could start a startup and burn out (which I plan to in the future), whereas I currently have nothing to my name.
Step away from all the rational arguments about whether your company's results were/were-not successful.
There is a possibility that the real problem is that you are suffering from serious anxiety or depression. When you are in that state, it is impossible to objectively analyze your situation. It is also impossible to reason your way into calculating the best next step.
Solutions run the gamut from learning mindfulness to seeing a psychiatrist.
In my experience, once those tools give you clarity, you free yourself from the immense amounts of unhelpful internal dialogue your own mind can generate. THEN you are in a much better place to assess your situation and make appropriate decisions.
As an arm-chair amateur counselor, the way to write and talk about yourself makes me suspect you've slid way down the 'depression funnel.' Getting out of that requires deliberate and determined work on your part. The other life stuff (job, etc) must be put to the side for a while. Get yourself sorted, then you'll be able to handle the life stuff.
(I say all this from experience, having suffered regular bouts of depression and anxiety for a long time (much of that time, unfortunately, was un-diagnosed!))
There is a possibility that the real problem is that you are suffering from serious anxiety or depression. When you are in that state, it is impossible to objectively analyze your situation. It is also impossible to reason your way into calculating the best next step.
Solutions run the gamut from learning mindfulness to seeing a psychiatrist.
In my experience, once those tools give you clarity, you free yourself from the immense amounts of unhelpful internal dialogue your own mind can generate. THEN you are in a much better place to assess your situation and make appropriate decisions.
As an arm-chair amateur counselor, the way to write and talk about yourself makes me suspect you've slid way down the 'depression funnel.' Getting out of that requires deliberate and determined work on your part. The other life stuff (job, etc) must be put to the side for a while. Get yourself sorted, then you'll be able to handle the life stuff.
(I say all this from experience, having suffered regular bouts of depression and anxiety for a long time (much of that time, unfortunately, was un-diagnosed!))
Failing has been replaced with learning in my lexicon.
Every day you're alive, present, and able to love is a success. Take your win and look around you. You have more wealth than than 99.50% of the world's population if you can make $40k USD a year and have no debt.
Take a trip to nature. Computers have taken over too many of our lives, and it's worth putting away the screen for an extended amount of time to listen to the planet.
Every day you're alive, present, and able to love is a success. Take your win and look around you. You have more wealth than than 99.50% of the world's population if you can make $40k USD a year and have no debt.
Take a trip to nature. Computers have taken over too many of our lives, and it's worth putting away the screen for an extended amount of time to listen to the planet.
1. Use a bit of time to get out of burn out, but not too much. That is, really get out, like 7 to 10 days hiking and camping or so. But not 3 more month out.
2. Post consulting position, like creating your own consulting web site and some posts to advertise it, to start generating interest, and when in contact just measure each opportunity and see if you should come back from your camping holidays or defer 10 days and jump on it when you're back. See this as paid market discovery. Choose the field of consulting you LOVE and would like to become proficient in, don't offer something you already know and don't like.
3. Meet friends, trusted people, and discuss ideas, a bit on your situation but don't dwell on it, you could sound more depressed than really needed. See if some of these people show interest in what motivates you.
4. Don't hesitate to do one hour to one day projects that go nowhere except testing new technology or concepts. You might discover something great.
5. Get out to exercise a bit daily: walking in nature is excellent. Freshens the mind, replenish your energy tank.
2. Post consulting position, like creating your own consulting web site and some posts to advertise it, to start generating interest, and when in contact just measure each opportunity and see if you should come back from your camping holidays or defer 10 days and jump on it when you're back. See this as paid market discovery. Choose the field of consulting you LOVE and would like to become proficient in, don't offer something you already know and don't like.
3. Meet friends, trusted people, and discuss ideas, a bit on your situation but don't dwell on it, you could sound more depressed than really needed. See if some of these people show interest in what motivates you.
4. Don't hesitate to do one hour to one day projects that go nowhere except testing new technology or concepts. You might discover something great.
5. Get out to exercise a bit daily: walking in nature is excellent. Freshens the mind, replenish your energy tank.
You're taking a highly dramatic read on your situation, I'd say overly so. Even though you may have been "kicked out," you still got paid, and you apparently had enough skills to get to that point.
Start applying for a bunch of jobs and see what positions feel most comfortable. Also consider psychotherapy to deal with what looks like ruminations and generally poor self-esteem.
Start applying for a bunch of jobs and see what positions feel most comfortable. Also consider psychotherapy to deal with what looks like ruminations and generally poor self-esteem.
> Also consider psychotherapy to deal with what looks like ruminations and generally poor self-esteem.
While I might not have put it that way, I +1 this. OP doesn't sound like a failure to me. Mental exhaustion from trying to keep the lights on at a start-up can definitely take its toll. I know I have similar thoughts when I've been burning the candle at both ends for too long.
While I might not have put it that way, I +1 this. OP doesn't sound like a failure to me. Mental exhaustion from trying to keep the lights on at a start-up can definitely take its toll. I know I have similar thoughts when I've been burning the candle at both ends for too long.
Given your experience as a founder, you could probably be a good COO at a small but growing startup, taking some of the load off of the CEO. First, I'd let yourself decompress for a bit, though, and give yourself permission to really do whatever you feel like doing for a couple months, without thinking too much about the future.
First: ignore the people who say this is a successful start up. By your account it wasn't.
If your company had enough publicity, you might want to say it was a success publicly and join FaceGoogSoft. Otherwise, take another three months off (outside of SF/Silicon Valley) and look for options to try again.
If your company had enough publicity, you might want to say it was a success publicly and join FaceGoogSoft. Otherwise, take another three months off (outside of SF/Silicon Valley) and look for options to try again.
It's not easy finding a job after being a founder.
My experience is that years of {mediocre data scientist and AI}, {mediocre project manager}, {mediocre product manager}, {mediocre software developer}, {mediocre book-keeping and financial management experience} and {mediocre salesperson} doesn't line up very well with any job description that any company hires for. Sometimes product manager is the closest fit. I think in 6 months I've had two interviews in my own country, plus a few more overseas, none of which have led to anything. I've not quite -- but nearly -- given up searching.
In the meantime, I'm still finding I can pitch ideas to people about software that they could use in their business (or sell to other people) and hack together things quickly enough to keep some money ticking over. It's not ideal, because I'm spending more time doing sales than doing development.
It occasionally gets surreal, where I've been rejected for a role from a big corporate where I would be looking after a solution that I had sold and implemented for them -- but because I don't have big name employers on my resume, HR wouldn't put my name forward for it.
There are also freelancer networks where you can keep your skills (not just coding skills, but other business skills as well) ticking over while you figure out what's next.
It seems like most people can end up being happy in a lot of roles, it's mostly about the people you are spending time with. So a good place to start is to think about what sorts of organisations you want to be with, or who you want to be with rather than what you want to do.
A nice book which might help is "Book yourself Solid" by Michael Port. It's mostly about how to run a services & consulting business, but he has some early chapters going through exercises that make you think about what you want to do.
Perhaps the world needs a company who specialises in hiring ex-founders on the grounds that the market doesn't do a good job valuing them at the moment.
My experience is that years of {mediocre data scientist and AI}, {mediocre project manager}, {mediocre product manager}, {mediocre software developer}, {mediocre book-keeping and financial management experience} and {mediocre salesperson} doesn't line up very well with any job description that any company hires for. Sometimes product manager is the closest fit. I think in 6 months I've had two interviews in my own country, plus a few more overseas, none of which have led to anything. I've not quite -- but nearly -- given up searching.
In the meantime, I'm still finding I can pitch ideas to people about software that they could use in their business (or sell to other people) and hack together things quickly enough to keep some money ticking over. It's not ideal, because I'm spending more time doing sales than doing development.
It occasionally gets surreal, where I've been rejected for a role from a big corporate where I would be looking after a solution that I had sold and implemented for them -- but because I don't have big name employers on my resume, HR wouldn't put my name forward for it.
There are also freelancer networks where you can keep your skills (not just coding skills, but other business skills as well) ticking over while you figure out what's next.
It seems like most people can end up being happy in a lot of roles, it's mostly about the people you are spending time with. So a good place to start is to think about what sorts of organisations you want to be with, or who you want to be with rather than what you want to do.
A nice book which might help is "Book yourself Solid" by Michael Port. It's mostly about how to run a services & consulting business, but he has some early chapters going through exercises that make you think about what you want to do.
Perhaps the world needs a company who specialises in hiring ex-founders on the grounds that the market doesn't do a good job valuing them at the moment.
My take is this:
- You learned you didn't have enough rounded knowledge to run a company. You probably recognize this.
- Don't forget that you now have a bunch of experience others don't have, in getting something off the ground, being in charge, and turning the reigns over to someone else at a profit.
- Maybe your next venture needs to be in a position where you'll get to learn to fill in the gaps of what you don't know and also get to leverage what you have learned. I would look for a partnership in an area outside your comfort zone where you don't have to know everything. Be a VP in a small growing company. Let someone else be #1 this time.
- You learned you didn't have enough rounded knowledge to run a company. You probably recognize this.
- Don't forget that you now have a bunch of experience others don't have, in getting something off the ground, being in charge, and turning the reigns over to someone else at a profit.
- Maybe your next venture needs to be in a position where you'll get to learn to fill in the gaps of what you don't know and also get to leverage what you have learned. I would look for a partnership in an area outside your comfort zone where you don't have to know everything. Be a VP in a small growing company. Let someone else be #1 this time.
Actually, your experience sounds great! In general, it is much easier to find people with narrow interests. While it might seem to you that you are not employable, this is just an illusion - there are many developers, but few with experience "from development to product design to finance". This makes you a great fit for virtually any smaller company which doesn't have a separate person for each role - startups, new businesses,...
TL;DR: You didn't fail. You learned.
As for burnout - been there. If it's any consolation, it will go away once you find something new that will keep you motivated.
TL;DR: You didn't fail. You learned.
As for burnout - been there. If it's any consolation, it will go away once you find something new that will keep you motivated.
I sympathise with you on the current situation. But, congratulations and Bravo for being an entrepreneur and very few people get an opportunity to make a difference and create jobs.
I'm just trying to give my perspective, I'm sure there are good days ahead and lets keep up the spirit.
Here in india, we refer our life as "Maya" - everything is imaginary. It is important to do our duty and the result is not in our hands!
As a parent of two, and founder of couple of ventures, I see entrepreneurship is a role that we play just like how we play our roles to parents and our kids. Also its a journey that we take and no destination.
All the best.
I'm just trying to give my perspective, I'm sure there are good days ahead and lets keep up the spirit.
Here in india, we refer our life as "Maya" - everything is imaginary. It is important to do our duty and the result is not in our hands!
As a parent of two, and founder of couple of ventures, I see entrepreneurship is a role that we play just like how we play our roles to parents and our kids. Also its a journey that we take and no destination.
All the best.
I recently went through a similar situation (decided to leave my startup after 4 years of growing it). I wrote about my decision on Medium (https://medium.com/@klistwan/why-im-quitting-my-4-year-old-s...), and took about 4 months off to travel and decompress. I spent quite a bit of it reading, reflecting, trying new things, etc. Feel free to send me an email or PM on twitter if you want to ask more questions! :-)
In both of the companies I've founded, I had to wear too many hats. As a result, I have not excelled in any particular skill, rather I've gained medium level of experience in variety of skills from development to product design to finance.
You gotta be nicer to yourself. Honestly, in my mind its impressive having exceelled in all of those areas. And you found 2 startups and the second one was a success, although not in your eyes, which you gotta stop saying and start understanding or asking what success really is.
You gotta be nicer to yourself. Honestly, in my mind its impressive having exceelled in all of those areas. And you found 2 startups and the second one was a success, although not in your eyes, which you gotta stop saying and start understanding or asking what success really is.
I've been in similar situations myself a few times. Getting to "closure" with a project that didn't have anywhere close to the desired outcome can be a big let down.
While it's appropriate and even helpful to have some perspective (you are in a good financial position, you hopefully are in good health, you are still very young), your disappointment and pain is still real. You need to process the disappointment.
After I took the time to just do nothing, here are some of the things that helped me get excited about something new. I think it's important to shake up your routine - you cannot just wallow in past thinking. You have to tell yourself to turn the past experiences into wisdom you have forever instead of constantly thinking of them as proof of failure.
Travel. New places are exciting. Maybe do something 100% guided so you don't have to do any planning. This can help bootstrap things.
Do new things. I find it feels good to be early on the learning curve of something new. Lots of feedback of progress, and it's fun. New sport, new programming language, etc. Even if it's entirely purposeless.
Do you have any lists of ideas you want to pursue from the past? Or maybe go read lists of ideas for startups that others have posted.
Volunteer at local startup events, or offer your expertise for free to other founders. You would be surprised how meaningful your experiences will be for others. You are in a great position to help them.
Hopefully some of these things get you excited about the future.
Good luck!
While it's appropriate and even helpful to have some perspective (you are in a good financial position, you hopefully are in good health, you are still very young), your disappointment and pain is still real. You need to process the disappointment.
After I took the time to just do nothing, here are some of the things that helped me get excited about something new. I think it's important to shake up your routine - you cannot just wallow in past thinking. You have to tell yourself to turn the past experiences into wisdom you have forever instead of constantly thinking of them as proof of failure.
Travel. New places are exciting. Maybe do something 100% guided so you don't have to do any planning. This can help bootstrap things.
Do new things. I find it feels good to be early on the learning curve of something new. Lots of feedback of progress, and it's fun. New sport, new programming language, etc. Even if it's entirely purposeless.
Do you have any lists of ideas you want to pursue from the past? Or maybe go read lists of ideas for startups that others have posted.
Volunteer at local startup events, or offer your expertise for free to other founders. You would be surprised how meaningful your experiences will be for others. You are in a great position to help them.
Hopefully some of these things get you excited about the future.
Good luck!
If you have 1 year of living expenses, you could probably make that last 3-5 years in Thailand. I really enjoy living in Chiang Mai. My wife and I have just started a 1 year ED visa for hand to hand combat [1], and the first few lessons have been very good. The lessons are 2 hours, and it's twice a week. Start with a few 60 day tourist visas first, and you can extend those to 90 days. I've enjoyed exploring Southeast Asia over the last few years.
If you want to get unstuck and do something, then I would recommend picking up a new technology and building something fun. Maybe mobile development with React Native. Just get a few little things on the app stores and see where it leads you. I've just spent the last 3 or 4 months learning React Native while developing a little game, and this one idea has branched out into lots of different app ideas, even startup ideas and SaaS services. Diving in and building something (anything) is a great way to find new problems to solve. Living somewhere with a low cost of living gives you a lot of room to breathe and find your next ideas.
[1] https://hand2handcombat.com/
If you want to get unstuck and do something, then I would recommend picking up a new technology and building something fun. Maybe mobile development with React Native. Just get a few little things on the app stores and see where it leads you. I've just spent the last 3 or 4 months learning React Native while developing a little game, and this one idea has branched out into lots of different app ideas, even startup ideas and SaaS services. Diving in and building something (anything) is a great way to find new problems to solve. Living somewhere with a low cost of living gives you a lot of room to breathe and find your next ideas.
[1] https://hand2handcombat.com/
I was going to suggest Chiang Mai after reading the OP then scrolled down and saw it's the top comment.
I just spent 4 months traveling around Asia with 1 month in Chiang Mai. It's an incredible city and incredible in ways you wouldn't expect. For one, it's actually very developed (second biggest city in Thailand) with many big modern malls. Also, the cellular infrastructure is great and you can get a SIM card for really cheap that also gives you access to "SuperWifi" which is like 150Mbps at Maya mall. There are also a bunch of cool coworking spaces and cafes to work from with other people working remotely on interesting projects. The food is great and varied.
Plus, you can book a hotel for your first 2/3 nights and then walk around and look at all the condos. We looked at 10 different apartments - could have moved into any one of them on the spot with 1 month's deposit. Ended up staying in one with a pool, gym, sauna, king sized bed, good wifi - 2 minutes from Maya mall - all for like $600 per month.
Also the temples are remarkable and the people are super friendly. Highly recommended to reset and get a fresh perspective! Also, Penang in Malaysia is nearby and also really worth checking out :)
I just spent 4 months traveling around Asia with 1 month in Chiang Mai. It's an incredible city and incredible in ways you wouldn't expect. For one, it's actually very developed (second biggest city in Thailand) with many big modern malls. Also, the cellular infrastructure is great and you can get a SIM card for really cheap that also gives you access to "SuperWifi" which is like 150Mbps at Maya mall. There are also a bunch of cool coworking spaces and cafes to work from with other people working remotely on interesting projects. The food is great and varied.
Plus, you can book a hotel for your first 2/3 nights and then walk around and look at all the condos. We looked at 10 different apartments - could have moved into any one of them on the spot with 1 month's deposit. Ended up staying in one with a pool, gym, sauna, king sized bed, good wifi - 2 minutes from Maya mall - all for like $600 per month.
Also the temples are remarkable and the people are super friendly. Highly recommended to reset and get a fresh perspective! Also, Penang in Malaysia is nearby and also really worth checking out :)
> with many big modern malls
Maya and ? The other other 1 or 2 are literally falling apart they're so old and empty
Maya and ? The other other 1 or 2 are literally falling apart they're so old and empty
Central Festival and Maya are both awesome. CentralPlaza by the airport is pretty nice. Promenada is also nice, but a bit quiet and far away from everything. I think KSK is the only one I would call old and falling apart, but it's not so bad. I think it has character. It's definitely the weirdest and hugest brick building I've ever seen. I like all the strange empty spaces and hallways, and the bowling alley tucked away in the corner.
EDIT: Haha whaaaaat, I must have been to KSK 50 times and I never knew it had this huge theater [1]. I feel like I discover something new every time I wander around this place.
[1] http://www.topchiangmai.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/%E0%B...
EDIT: Haha whaaaaat, I must have been to KSK 50 times and I never knew it had this huge theater [1]. I feel like I discover something new every time I wander around this place.
[1] http://www.topchiangmai.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/%E0%B...
Yeah Central Festival was epic - not sure where you live that makes CF look like it's falling apart by comparison?
There is a lot of good advice here on perspective and going ahead one step at a time.
The only thing I would like to add to it is that you will feel better in due course even if you dont do anything much. Time will fix burnout by itself, and your pessimism will lift.
Try not being anxious about not wanting to do anything. Knowing that it will fix itself should help - maybe make this time enjoyable even. Let the world go by and have faith that your time will come.
The only thing I would like to add to it is that you will feel better in due course even if you dont do anything much. Time will fix burnout by itself, and your pessimism will lift.
Try not being anxious about not wanting to do anything. Knowing that it will fix itself should help - maybe make this time enjoyable even. Let the world go by and have faith that your time will come.
Hello! I've been in a very similar position. Both the lackluster acquisition and the failure.
I really feel it when you say you feel like you're the jack of all trades but master of none. I had the exact same anxiety about my skillset and it was really tough to figure out how I was employable.
The good news is your mix of skills are actually highly sought after. The ability to understand all facets of the business _including_ the hard technical stuff is actually fairly rare.
The work I do now sometimes looks like management consulting, sometimes looks like contract software development.
I help companies build out prototypes quickly. I help them transition their dev teams to new paradigms (microservices, etc). I help them review their codebases and see how they're stacking up against best practice. I advise nontechnical founders on how to hire technical staff and how to think about technical strategy in "CTO as a service" engagements.
There is demand out there for what you've got to offer. When you're ready, start networking again and focus on selling yourself. You'll find more buyers than you expect.
I really feel it when you say you feel like you're the jack of all trades but master of none. I had the exact same anxiety about my skillset and it was really tough to figure out how I was employable.
The good news is your mix of skills are actually highly sought after. The ability to understand all facets of the business _including_ the hard technical stuff is actually fairly rare.
The work I do now sometimes looks like management consulting, sometimes looks like contract software development.
I help companies build out prototypes quickly. I help them transition their dev teams to new paradigms (microservices, etc). I help them review their codebases and see how they're stacking up against best practice. I advise nontechnical founders on how to hire technical staff and how to think about technical strategy in "CTO as a service" engagements.
There is demand out there for what you've got to offer. When you're ready, start networking again and focus on selling yourself. You'll find more buyers than you expect.
Backpacking around SE Asia/Europe/South America sounds like a great choice. Live cheap, relax and forget your worries for a few months.
If your looking to talk this through live with someone and bounce ideas about career and such, I do coaching for lots of job seekers (also resume writing, bios, etc.) and have worked with a number of HN'ers over the past few years. Much of my coaching is just asking the right questions to help clients arrive at their own conclusions.
If interested, my contact info is in my profile.
If interested, my contact info is in my profile.
It may not make a difference hearing this - but you don't sound like a failure to me. You sound like you're tired and in need of more rest.
29 is young, you still have a lot of bounce left. Take the time you were planning to take to relax and actually relax.
Actively ignore these negative feelings, they do nothing to help you in the way you are experiencing them (in other words, try to see tragedy as opportunity).
I like to remember the simple advice: don't beat yourself up, there are plenty of other people that will do that for you. I also like to remember that "if you don't find time for rest and relaxation, then illness will find time for you." I think I heard that while playing Civ6.
Please also know you are not alone, I often feel like a huge failure too. Somethings I have done recently that have helped me improve my attitude: 1. I got off social media. 2. I started reading and writing fiction again. 3. I started going out more for just the purpose of leaving my programming cave.
I hope this finds you well.
Cheers!
29 is young, you still have a lot of bounce left. Take the time you were planning to take to relax and actually relax.
Actively ignore these negative feelings, they do nothing to help you in the way you are experiencing them (in other words, try to see tragedy as opportunity).
I like to remember the simple advice: don't beat yourself up, there are plenty of other people that will do that for you. I also like to remember that "if you don't find time for rest and relaxation, then illness will find time for you." I think I heard that while playing Civ6.
Please also know you are not alone, I often feel like a huge failure too. Somethings I have done recently that have helped me improve my attitude: 1. I got off social media. 2. I started reading and writing fiction again. 3. I started going out more for just the purpose of leaving my programming cave.
I hope this finds you well.
Cheers!
He's right! You are not a failure! I'm 33 and I left a company I founded 3 years ago after 5 in the trenches. It was close to the big deal that was gonna make it all go sunshine and rainbows but I got fat, angry, and had started drinking a lot. I got so caught up in day to day people management it was months since I touched a real engineering problem.
I took a fairly extreme route. I said I would help try to close a merger with a large player in the game, if it hit, I'd stay, if not I'd leave. It didn't work out. I left. I walked out the door.
Because I'd been an executive it was near impossible for me to get a programming job. Also, I was an odd person to interview at the time. I definitely echoed a lot of the feelings you have here. I gave away everything I owned filled a backpack and couch surfed for eight months. Saw both oceans in 30 day. Lived in a bungalo in Vermont on the lake for a month. Crashed on an old friends couch and caught up for a while and worked on cars. Played with the idea of moving to the woods to become a blacksmith. I was depressed as hell. I knew it was what I needed to do but re-assimilating was hard, also the nagging feeling I'd fucked over everything that was good.
I ended up taking a jobby-job with a huge porn video company in LA and lied about my credentials to get a junior position. Kept my head down and just worked my ass off on stuff. Started putting together new ideas in the evenings and just finding myself. I really kind of stopped growing as a creative since the startup got legs and customers.
I took another job at a startup I found on craigslist and moved to Seattle. This time got an apartment and quit living out of my backpack. It was a decent paying gig but clearly doomed. But it gave me a dojo to play in that wasn't life and death. Plus I got my teeth fixed with the insurance.
Long story long, during that time I put together the structure for a new thing and took it slow. It's all me. Now I'm back in it on my terms and focused very differently than I was the last time. I'm almost unflappable. I'm enjoying programming for the first time since well before I quit and the people I used to work with are now back in my life.
The assets you've built at these "failures" is your biggest strength. There are things about business that you now know instinctively that most people never will. There will be more great and terrible days! No one's got a clock on you and there are no real boundaries for success other than what you want. Take time for you. You'll get back to it eventually 100x more ready for the fight.
Even when things got on the up swing I still felt like maybe I really fucked up by leaving that gig. I just recently caught up with one of the other founders, they are doing the 4th platform overhaul for the same client that I was trying to close 3 years ago. The big check is still around the corner. They will make the money, I'm proud of them and my experience, but I was right to leave for sure.
Keep at it! Put yourself first and you'll get rudder soon enough. There's really no need to rush it.
I took a fairly extreme route. I said I would help try to close a merger with a large player in the game, if it hit, I'd stay, if not I'd leave. It didn't work out. I left. I walked out the door.
Because I'd been an executive it was near impossible for me to get a programming job. Also, I was an odd person to interview at the time. I definitely echoed a lot of the feelings you have here. I gave away everything I owned filled a backpack and couch surfed for eight months. Saw both oceans in 30 day. Lived in a bungalo in Vermont on the lake for a month. Crashed on an old friends couch and caught up for a while and worked on cars. Played with the idea of moving to the woods to become a blacksmith. I was depressed as hell. I knew it was what I needed to do but re-assimilating was hard, also the nagging feeling I'd fucked over everything that was good.
I ended up taking a jobby-job with a huge porn video company in LA and lied about my credentials to get a junior position. Kept my head down and just worked my ass off on stuff. Started putting together new ideas in the evenings and just finding myself. I really kind of stopped growing as a creative since the startup got legs and customers.
I took another job at a startup I found on craigslist and moved to Seattle. This time got an apartment and quit living out of my backpack. It was a decent paying gig but clearly doomed. But it gave me a dojo to play in that wasn't life and death. Plus I got my teeth fixed with the insurance.
Long story long, during that time I put together the structure for a new thing and took it slow. It's all me. Now I'm back in it on my terms and focused very differently than I was the last time. I'm almost unflappable. I'm enjoying programming for the first time since well before I quit and the people I used to work with are now back in my life.
The assets you've built at these "failures" is your biggest strength. There are things about business that you now know instinctively that most people never will. There will be more great and terrible days! No one's got a clock on you and there are no real boundaries for success other than what you want. Take time for you. You'll get back to it eventually 100x more ready for the fight.
Even when things got on the up swing I still felt like maybe I really fucked up by leaving that gig. I just recently caught up with one of the other founders, they are doing the 4th platform overhaul for the same client that I was trying to close 3 years ago. The big check is still around the corner. They will make the money, I'm proud of them and my experience, but I was right to leave for sure.
Keep at it! Put yourself first and you'll get rudder soon enough. There's really no need to rush it.
Start eating right, start sleep hygiene, start exercising (I would recommend lifting & yoga).
Go do social things and start building a friend group, your local art scene likely has tonnes of people in a similar situation, sans cash.
You exited with enough money to live for a year, most people call this a sabbatical and dream of having one before retirement, let alone at 29.
I would also recommend stretching this money more than a year by going backpacking in Asia / India.
Your feeling of failure is just that, a feeling, yoga / meditation will let you come to terms with this, you may also want to do counseling.
I just landed a seed round and I'm taking the next week off to go to Alaska for solstice experience 24/7 sunlight, swim in the arctic, regroup and figure out how to move forward most efficient manner with my cofounder.
Go do social things and start building a friend group, your local art scene likely has tonnes of people in a similar situation, sans cash.
You exited with enough money to live for a year, most people call this a sabbatical and dream of having one before retirement, let alone at 29.
I would also recommend stretching this money more than a year by going backpacking in Asia / India.
Your feeling of failure is just that, a feeling, yoga / meditation will let you come to terms with this, you may also want to do counseling.
I just landed a seed round and I'm taking the next week off to go to Alaska for solstice experience 24/7 sunlight, swim in the arctic, regroup and figure out how to move forward most efficient manner with my cofounder.
I think travelling could be a good idea. Asia is very affordable for long stints. We have an open couch for other entrepreneurs and you are welcome here in HK for a couple weeks if you need. Well done asking for help. I think you would get even more if you used your account next time. People understand. Because we've been there. :)
You've gained "medium level experience" in a few skill sets that are quite rare. When you combine them, you probably have something exceptional and unique. Think about the intersections of your rare skills, and how one shapes the way you think about the other. Just an idea!
I've run a bootstrapped startup that's seen a lot of iterations in the last nine years. We started in the midwest, then transitioned two years ago to the valley when we were accepted to an accelerator. I deeply understand the opportunities and pitfalls of wearing a lot of hats. Because we have been continuously profitable, however, its been an excellent, stable learning opportunity. If you are potentially interested in joining a small team and either exploring (a) a leadership role based on your experience or (b) owning, driving and gaining expertise in a particular business area to gain specialty, I'm interested to connect (email in profile).
Go contracting.
I can tell you from personal experience of the same situation that going "code monkey" is so freaking chill after having to worry about everything in a startup.
In the interview process stress your understanding of the whole life cycle as we always love to hire people that can see the big picture, that'll easily make up for any rust on your skills.
If you're not ready to jump back into work just yet then just pursue an interest for a while. If you have a three month old daughter then go baby groups but social interaction is really what we're looking for here as well as some associated interest.
If you're not ready to jump back into work just yet then just pursue an interest for a while. If you have a three month old daughter then go baby groups but social interaction is really what we're looking for here as well as some associated interest.
It's happened to me. It sucks.
There's tons of good advice here. Most of it's about stuff you should DO. Yeah, DO some of that stuff.
Don't forget to BE for a while.
What does BEing look like? I don't know you so I can't guess what it looks like for you. For me it looked like hanging out at a good public library and a nearby coffee shop reading all kinds of pointless stuff.
Then it looked like working as a cook's helper at a local feeding program for people down on their luck.
Did I mention? it sucks to lose your company. It's no fun to acknowledge how bad it sucks and play the shoulda woulda coulda game with yourself. But it's OK to do those things.
There's tons of good advice here. Most of it's about stuff you should DO. Yeah, DO some of that stuff.
Don't forget to BE for a while.
What does BEing look like? I don't know you so I can't guess what it looks like for you. For me it looked like hanging out at a good public library and a nearby coffee shop reading all kinds of pointless stuff.
Then it looked like working as a cook's helper at a local feeding program for people down on their luck.
Did I mention? it sucks to lose your company. It's no fun to acknowledge how bad it sucks and play the shoulda woulda coulda game with yourself. But it's OK to do those things.
Begin by taking a vacation - you deserve it, and it'll clear your head.
When I've sold my first startup I specifically wanted to get out on day 1 so I can go ahead and start another. This isn't for everyone - you have to decide how much entrepreneurial itch you have, and how much cash you have to back you up (you can move somewhere cheaper). The good news is that it will be easier to raise money next time round, so if you start anything, it sounds like you want to raise asap to be able to pay yourself a salary. If you feel like the risk is too great for you - get a job as a PM in a growing startup.
When I've sold my first startup I specifically wanted to get out on day 1 so I can go ahead and start another. This isn't for everyone - you have to decide how much entrepreneurial itch you have, and how much cash you have to back you up (you can move somewhere cheaper). The good news is that it will be easier to raise money next time round, so if you start anything, it sounds like you want to raise asap to be able to pay yourself a salary. If you feel like the risk is too great for you - get a job as a PM in a growing startup.
Think about your time at your previous two startups and try to identify the roles/work that you enjoyed the most. Try to find a new position where your day would be spent doing mostly that type of work. For example, if you really enjoyed hands-on development, then focus on finding a development job. Make sure you are clear in the interview what it is you want to be doing all day. Within reason, hold out for a position at a company that seems like a very good fit for you. At your next job, when they ask you to do things that you know you won't enjoy say "no" if possible.
It seems you could excel at one thing if you could choose between the three. Pick one up, get a medium job and then excel. You're no failure, don't worry about that. And yeah, maybe get some perspective working in another country? Not sure what you mean by mentally exhausted (differences between individuals I guess) but your three months inactivity should have reduced that stress. You can't be doing 'no thing' even though you don't work. Take it easy, learn some new stuff, quit habits increasing stress. That kind of things should help I guess.
2 quick things:
1- It's great that you've learned a wide range of skills.. this is extremely powerful (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-shaped_skills). If you're not sure what to do next, I'd look for the "vertical bar" and focus on that. Maybe it could be design or tech, whatever.
2- You invested a lot of time in learning how to build and run a startup.. very few people possess those skills, so maybe start a new project learning from what previously went wrong and see where that leads you.
1- It's great that you've learned a wide range of skills.. this is extremely powerful (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-shaped_skills). If you're not sure what to do next, I'd look for the "vertical bar" and focus on that. Maybe it could be design or tech, whatever.
2- You invested a lot of time in learning how to build and run a startup.. very few people possess those skills, so maybe start a new project learning from what previously went wrong and see where that leads you.
No risk, no reward. Keep building and hustling. More importantly, never ever let anyone else make you feel bad about yourself for going after your goals. Those are simply the weak people who are jealous they didn't have the courage to do the same.
And yes, I've had to pick myself back up after similar circumstances. Some quick advice, start reading up on your favorite tech leaders or significant people throughout history, you'll find that none of them got it right the first few times, but, every single one of them kept pushing forward.
And yes, I've had to pick myself back up after similar circumstances. Some quick advice, start reading up on your favorite tech leaders or significant people throughout history, you'll find that none of them got it right the first few times, but, every single one of them kept pushing forward.
Your options are massively open now and with the financial situation you're in you don't have to rush - learning an instrument is a great way to relax and give you focus too - I've played guitar for nearly 15 years and don't know where I'd be without it.
Just bear in mind that you can't escape this but can go for a role without the responsibilities or stress – while most roles call for a specialisation in a certain area there are still roles where you can be a generalist.
Regroup, re-establish and reward yourself for what you've already done.
Just bear in mind that you can't escape this but can go for a role without the responsibilities or stress – while most roles call for a specialisation in a certain area there are still roles where you can be a generalist.
Regroup, re-establish and reward yourself for what you've already done.
Idea: Find super-early stage startups you're interested in to advise (can sometimes even lead to a job). I've failed at 2 companies, and doing well at my current. Even if you're not a wild success, a lot a startups appreciate even someone to talk to on a regular basis which can be rewarding on both ends. Although you'll be able to offer more than that (things that are extremely obvious to people who've been through 3 companies, whether successfully or not, have a lot of real-world experience and insight to offer).
PS - we're hiring! [email protected] :)
Your skillset would be valuable to many small companies. The founder skillset /experience is rare but extremely valuable at the right company.
Your skillset would be valuable to many small companies. The founder skillset /experience is rare but extremely valuable at the right company.
Get yourself into a classroom again. It doesn't have to be an ambitious course. It's a familiar structure and you've been out of it long enough that it'll seem refreshing. While you do that go hit the gym if you aren't, yet. (Or if you want to do it on a budget, get a set of resistance bands.) Set lots of simple goals with structure and regularity. Journal your progress. This will get you back into the thick of things without the nasty obligations of the workplace - by the holidays you might have a good plan together.
Have you thought about doing some freelance work with other start ups? Maybe get a feel for different industries to see which one peaks your interest? Could be a great way to network and learn other industries!
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I suggest signing up for Recurse Center retreat in NYC and learning something new that excites you. Like crypto, AI, AR or VR.
They are not a school, they're a retreat where expert coders and beginners meet and work on self-directed cool stuff. Amazing community and brilliant founders. You only need to provide a place to stay for yourself.
I did that. It was a good.
Besides learning a new language which enabled me to launch my next start-up a month after Recurse Center program was done, I also met few amazing people and programmers that I consider good friends now.
They are not a school, they're a retreat where expert coders and beginners meet and work on self-directed cool stuff. Amazing community and brilliant founders. You only need to provide a place to stay for yourself.
I did that. It was a good.
Besides learning a new language which enabled me to launch my next start-up a month after Recurse Center program was done, I also met few amazing people and programmers that I consider good friends now.
Take a glance down through the advice given so far, from "email me" to something involving firearms which sounds dangerous.
Now take a deep breath. For starters, you are not a failure - two companies before age 29 is pretty impressive.
You will probably never be happy as someone else's employee for long but that might be an idea for now - get the CV (resume) dusted down anyway.
For me, having two other partners has worked out rather well - two against one, as required. That does mean that you need two other people who you trust completely.
I suspect that you will do OK.
Now take a deep breath. For starters, you are not a failure - two companies before age 29 is pretty impressive.
You will probably never be happy as someone else's employee for long but that might be an idea for now - get the CV (resume) dusted down anyway.
For me, having two other partners has worked out rather well - two against one, as required. That does mean that you need two other people who you trust completely.
I suspect that you will do OK.
Recommendations as follows:
1) Find a tolerable way to generate cash flow before you need it. Taking a few months off is probably a good idea, but taking 11 months off if you have a year's worth of savings will cause you stress down the road. I'd look at platforms like Toptal and Catalant, where you can find quality clients who pay well. And, many/most of the projects on those platforms are of the 15-20 hrs/week variety (ie that's the max they would want you to work), so you'd have time to figure out next moves.
2) Regardless of your level of physical fitness, get more physically fit. I'm not saying don't go to Costa Rica or Mykonos for a couple weeks and live a little...definitely do that (family obligations permitting). But generally speaking, anecdotal observation of MANY friends who have been through similar situations suggests that people tend to neglect physical fitness in these kinds of situations (especially if you were working out in a company facility). One advantage of having time off isn't just the volume of time itself, but the predictability of your free time. Now is your opportunity to get into (or further into) BJJ or Crossfit or yoga or whatever -- you will build a lot more camaraderie with the crew wherever you end up training if you go there consistently at the same time.
3) Somewhat related to exercise - find fun things to be disciplined about. Make a reading list and hold yourself to it. Devote an hour a day to learning a new language (computer or human). Not only will you learn more stuff but it's really helpful for your overall motivation levels to reset your orientation around "I have to do this thing at this time" to fun activities rather than drudgery.
4) Invest time in your relationship with your significant other/kids/dating life (as applicable). Most people -- whether it's your wife of 10 years or the guy you met at Starbucks yesterday -- appreciate a dinner cooked from $20 of groceries to a $200 dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant. If you have a significant other, they've probably dealt with numerous cases of "hey sorry I'm really stressed I just want to come home, smoke some pot, eat some takeout, watch Game of Thrones and pass out". If this was the norm for you with your previous job, time to break out of that pattern.
1) Find a tolerable way to generate cash flow before you need it. Taking a few months off is probably a good idea, but taking 11 months off if you have a year's worth of savings will cause you stress down the road. I'd look at platforms like Toptal and Catalant, where you can find quality clients who pay well. And, many/most of the projects on those platforms are of the 15-20 hrs/week variety (ie that's the max they would want you to work), so you'd have time to figure out next moves.
2) Regardless of your level of physical fitness, get more physically fit. I'm not saying don't go to Costa Rica or Mykonos for a couple weeks and live a little...definitely do that (family obligations permitting). But generally speaking, anecdotal observation of MANY friends who have been through similar situations suggests that people tend to neglect physical fitness in these kinds of situations (especially if you were working out in a company facility). One advantage of having time off isn't just the volume of time itself, but the predictability of your free time. Now is your opportunity to get into (or further into) BJJ or Crossfit or yoga or whatever -- you will build a lot more camaraderie with the crew wherever you end up training if you go there consistently at the same time.
3) Somewhat related to exercise - find fun things to be disciplined about. Make a reading list and hold yourself to it. Devote an hour a day to learning a new language (computer or human). Not only will you learn more stuff but it's really helpful for your overall motivation levels to reset your orientation around "I have to do this thing at this time" to fun activities rather than drudgery.
4) Invest time in your relationship with your significant other/kids/dating life (as applicable). Most people -- whether it's your wife of 10 years or the guy you met at Starbucks yesterday -- appreciate a dinner cooked from $20 of groceries to a $200 dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant. If you have a significant other, they've probably dealt with numerous cases of "hey sorry I'm really stressed I just want to come home, smoke some pot, eat some takeout, watch Game of Thrones and pass out". If this was the norm for you with your previous job, time to break out of that pattern.
If you haven't done so, spend a couple weeks on a beach (or something else relaxing). Second, you've got that breadth of knowledge, but now you want some depth. Pick something, even if that means you throw a dart at a wall, and try getting a job doing that. Not a startup job, but a regular, 9-5, normal company job. Odds are, that will let you kinda focus on something. If that doesn't work out, go back to the dartboard, and try again.
Everyone else said the same thing as each other, so i'll try a different tact: For long term success, you need to figure out what YOU want. Whats your ideal, practical situation where you will be happy. Manager; Take a break, lay low for a few years more; start another company; get out of tech; start a family? Whats the IDEAL scenario for you. From there, you can develop a system instead of a goal.
Making a rough outline, _any_ outline of a series of steps over a period of time that you would take, to fix your biggest concern (source of income after one year) will take your sub-conscious problem-solver/worrier off the case. This will give you more presence of mind in the present moment. Which in-turn will help you to dig deep, really listen to your heart about the next journey in life you really want to undertake.
Perhaps, begin again.
Perhaps, begin again.
Have you thought about getting some counseling or therapy? CBT Therapists are pretty good at working on the kind of mental exhaustion and feelings you mention. There probably are some wherever you are. My S.O. felt she was a failure and therapy helped her immensely.
They do suggest a lot of things that are being mentioned here :) (like atemerev's 2nd suggestion)
They do suggest a lot of things that are being mentioned here :) (like atemerev's 2nd suggestion)
It seems like HN is trying to tell you something:
http://i.imgur.com/5VriS9I.png
http://i.imgur.com/5VriS9I.png
I'm kind of in the same place as you are! However, I have less experience than you have. I've tried to take some time off, think through what I really want to do, and then try to get a job which takes me there. Thinking of joining a new early stage startup, but I think I need a break from the pre-seed chaos and join something that is rather post Series A at least.
Drink some beer, that is good for you!
Drink some beer, that is good for you!
Experiment, create and take on fun/small projects just for the fun of it. You like music, experiment with music. You like games, code small demos/prototypes. You like science/data visualization, do that. Find the joy, don't be too serious.
In 2010 I barely knew how to code, was a bit depressed. I started doing small JS/C experiments/art projects for a few months... changed me forever.
In 2010 I barely knew how to code, was a bit depressed. I started doing small JS/C experiments/art projects for a few months... changed me forever.
sounds like you did very well. i see so many people who are posting 'you don't sound like a failure to me'. i think saying something like that is basically an insult. im the same age you are and look how many companies i founded: lol. you have some money. you have a good amount of experience. so perhaps just start looking for a job as a PO or something higher up. VP, CIO, maybe. whatever is available. you sound like the person who is not satisfied with just doing dev work. and i completely agree, it is not really that great. mostly get something that pays well and has good career prospects. I'm pretty sure people will hire a guy who has your experience. i dont think a year's worth of money is enough to retire quite yet, so you will need a job eventually and i think the sooner the better because burning through savings is no fun. i'd invest the savings in something with a decent yield (stocks, property). having your capital as cash on a bank seems a bit of a waste.
Take a year off and go and study Chinese in China.
When you come back, you'll still have 6+ months runway and a completely different perspective on things.
When you come back, you'll still have 6+ months runway and a completely different perspective on things.
Maybe a change of scenery would help? Or discovering new things in your current neighborhood. I've always found discovery to be the best way to get out of a funk. Sometimes, the hardest thing is just putting the shoes on and stepping out the door. But if you can get that done, just walk down the block to a corner you've never been to and see where it takes you.
A: You started from zero and gained medium skills. If you do another one, maybe you'll start from medium and gain excellent.
Or, B: Nomad for awhile.
Or, B: Nomad for awhile.
Buy a copy of the book "Starting Strength" and hit the gym each morning. The early results will boost your self esteem and getting to the gym is an easy 'win' on days when you're struggling with your career.
Right now you're number one risk is falling into a melancholy funk. Strength training will help avoid that.
Right now you're number one risk is falling into a melancholy funk. Strength training will help avoid that.
Count on your strengths. You see yourself in a disaster. But many will still see that A Success. You succssfully raised series A and your company is acquired. A lot worse could have happened, but you came out well. You are a lot successful than you think you are and it's time you count your success. Elevate your success to the next level.Good Luck.
You have money in the bank from the deal. That's better than 80% of the startups out there. You are not a failure. Take a break, go on vacation and rejuvenate your love for technology. Don't make any plans and see where things are after your break. You're young with a certain level of success, enjoy yourself!
If you can, I suggest you take a little time to travel if it is possible for you. Go to some countries with very low costs if saving money is a concern.
Try some new foods, exercise, write a journal of everything you learned. Just try to decompress for a few weeks.
Then you can start fresh with some good energy and direction.
Try some new foods, exercise, write a journal of everything you learned. Just try to decompress for a few weeks.
Then you can start fresh with some good energy and direction.
Network. You're in a similar to me when I left my previous firm. What you don't realise when you're going full throttle is how many people want to talk to you.
Catch up with old friends. Catch up with new friends. Get perspective. You have breathing room with a year's income in the bank.
Catch up with old friends. Catch up with new friends. Get perspective. You have breathing room with a year's income in the bank.
Don't undercut yourself. The fact that you had a >$0 exit is a victory of sorts.
I guarantee you know a hell of a lot more about those things that you think you have shallow knowledge of. You also had the perspective of someone who did everything without the luxury of heading home and not worrying about it.
I guarantee you know a hell of a lot more about those things that you think you have shallow knowledge of. You also had the perspective of someone who did everything without the luxury of heading home and not worrying about it.
At your next start-up (which I am sure you will start in time) try this: https://medium.com/flow/lazy-leadership-8ba19e34f959#.afzawx...
#Interesting. Time for a lot more reflection I'd suggest! When you wear a lot of hats you have to be clear on the role, responsibility and kpi's for each hat do that one day you can train someone to take over the role. #KeepLearning #DontGiveUp
Get a copy of Richard Bach's "Illusions". Go for a hike somewhere beautiful, then read it in a day. Might sound like a load of crap but doing that changed my life and got my head out of the future and my heart into the present. (((((BIG HUG)))))
This is very common in the industry, common enough to be predictable. Congratulations on your buy out. Take some well earned time off. Maybe do a bit of traveling. During this time you might come up with your next big idea, or be in the space to do so.
Use your money and take off for a few months. It's much easier to get perspective when you are not exhausted. In my view you have gained a lot of valuable experience that will be useful for more startups of your won or some other company.
The good thing about running your own business is you get experience in number of careers all at once.
What parts of your job did you enjoy the most?
- Engineering/Early innovation?
- Management
- Product
- Sales/Marketing?
What parts did you enjoy the least and stress out about, other than being a business owner?
Take that and run with it.
What parts of your job did you enjoy the most?
- Engineering/Early innovation?
- Management
- Product
- Sales/Marketing?
What parts did you enjoy the least and stress out about, other than being a business owner?
Take that and run with it.
I was in a similar situation and it was a godsend.
Go explore the world, hike, find love. Afterwards you won't believe what kind of energy you will have. It will be like the start of career 'i can do anything' level!
Go explore the world, hike, find love. Afterwards you won't believe what kind of energy you will have. It will be like the start of career 'i can do anything' level!
ah, don't sweat it dude. you're not a huge failure. you've already done much more than most people have attempted at your age and the real truth is that most companies go out of business. as long as you treated people fairly and behaved professionally then you should be proud of yourself.
what kind of work do you enjoy most? you've tried a few different roles now. focus in on the one that feels best. you have a CS background so maybe you want to get back into software development as a programmer.
what kind of work do you enjoy most? you've tried a few different roles now. focus in on the one that feels best. you have a CS background so maybe you want to get back into software development as a programmer.
> I've decided to apply for some jobs but I'm not sure which position I may fit in
Well if you are not sure then there is only one way to figure it out - apply and see what you find interesting.
Well if you are not sure then there is only one way to figure it out - apply and see what you find interesting.
Resume your hustle of course. Either start your next company or find a job at a place you like. This is a setback in a life that's not in full swing yet. Go get it!
Think the best you can be, in your eyes NOT the world. Life becomes simpler that way.
- Rent a place in a new neighbourhood - Go to gym - Take longer naps - Laugh without reason
- Rent a place in a new neighbourhood - Go to gym - Take longer naps - Laugh without reason
> I had to wear too many hats
As you've got experience of many hats were there any hats in particular that you did enjoy? You're at a great junction for specialisation right now.
As you've got experience of many hats were there any hats in particular that you did enjoy? You're at a great junction for specialisation right now.
This is an awesome opportunity (aside from the disappointment) to go traveling, and reset, develop as an individual, and get re-inspired for whatever you do next in life.
Laugh! Cry! Celebrate! Don't worry!
Don't worry at all...you're a HUGE success in terms of having something you built get acquired and still be alive and having created two things that even went anywhere! Keep expenses low & not to worry!
If not doing something is driving you nuts, start doing something...could be quite menial work, but something to get your mind focused on anything...and then thinking a bit about the next project / chapter. Could be learning something new, sports, another new skill, anything...
In terms of another company/project, I think it's important to find a great partner/partners or at least folks to brainstorm on.
Don't worry at all...you're a HUGE success in terms of having something you built get acquired and still be alive and having created two things that even went anywhere! Keep expenses low & not to worry!
If not doing something is driving you nuts, start doing something...could be quite menial work, but something to get your mind focused on anything...and then thinking a bit about the next project / chapter. Could be learning something new, sports, another new skill, anything...
In terms of another company/project, I think it's important to find a great partner/partners or at least folks to brainstorm on.
If common stock is worth anything - you may want to talk to a personal lawyer about whether you qualify for double-trigger acceleration. This could be a good thing.
> We had to sold it to one of our competitors at a price of one tenth of the our series A valuation.
In this instance, with any sort of standard liquidation preference and dilution (i.e. 20% investor ownership), common stock was probably worthless.
In this instance, with any sort of standard liquidation preference and dilution (i.e. 20% investor ownership), common stock was probably worthless.
If you want to talk about this personally with a professional, use https://getboost.io
Disclaimer: Zach is one of the cofounders of Boost.
(generally it's nice to let people know when you're plugging your own service)
Is Boost a chatbot or actual live chat with a human? Couldn't tell from the website.
(generally it's nice to let people know when you're plugging your own service)
Is Boost a chatbot or actual live chat with a human? Couldn't tell from the website.
If you've got that range of skills you'd probably be a really good product owner/manager at a big company. There's always that avenue.
[deleted]
All of the advice to throw a dart or work for a big company is bunk. What product/service area do you love? Find a niche in a corner of that service/product area that needs something, and then provide it. "Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life" has a corollary which is "You will succeed doing what you love to do - it might not make you a millionaire overnight, but you will be happy". If in the end the only thing that makes you happy is money, you've got much bigger problems.
At just 29 with such entrepreneurial experience is an awesome feat plus money in the bank for an year is a blessing from my point of view.
What you really need is just plain vanilla positive intent and outlook and you would sail past this crossroad.
What i would do is : Go for a road trip or travel somewhere may be Nepal for a fortnight. Get energized and come back with lots of positive energy. Skill wise don't bother much. All great entrepreneurs have felt this way at some point in their life but now are multi-billionaire because of their tenacity
What you really need is just plain vanilla positive intent and outlook and you would sail past this crossroad.
What i would do is : Go for a road trip or travel somewhere may be Nepal for a fortnight. Get energized and come back with lots of positive energy. Skill wise don't bother much. All great entrepreneurs have felt this way at some point in their life but now are multi-billionaire because of their tenacity
Fix people's problems.
Whatever level of expertise you have in any area, there is someone you should be able to find quickly who can benefit from it.
Whatever level of expertise you have in any area, there is someone you should be able to find quickly who can benefit from it.
You from India? Looks like your startup is one of the fallouts that are happening in Indian startup ecosystem.
Hii can you help me for a fb account to hack a facebook plzz its really important and urgent !!!!
we are a super small team approaching series A. would love to see if you like what we are doing and if there's a good fit for you to join us. your experience would be invaluable as a senior leader. twitter in my profile. check us out and contact me if interested
Failure is the price of success:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnAmqAXottQStay fresh. Opportunity is always always there what changes is who is involved. GL at home.
How about just apply to different jobs, talk to the companies? Its not that complicated.
Start trading cryptocurrencies.
Learn about fintech and blockchain
Profit
Good luck
Good luck
I'll hire you. Email is in my profile.
Invest in digibyte. It's the future.
Toss me an email [email protected]
Just leave the comfort zone.
... What do you want to do?
Go to school for biology
As someone who is feeling like I'm starting to climb out of a multi-year burnout episode, I can tell you that you are definitely not a failure, even though it definitely does feel like it.
I believe I know exactly how you feel because up until about a few days ago, I also considered myself a failure, for similar reasons.
It's hard to compare apples to oranges of course, but in my case and just to give a bit of background, I quit my job while being part of team that created a very successful product for a Fortune 500 company ("failure" #1), my girlfriend left me 3 months after that, after 6+ years of relationship ("failure" #2), I felt my startup wasn't working and I felt trapped so I also left my startup, which didn't even had more than 3 customers ("failure" #3), meanwhile I pretty much lost all my savings ("failure" #4).
So, to sum up: no girlfriend, no money, no job, no startup... no nothing. Just 3 or 4 friends that endured while at my darkest moments.
After feeling like I failed at everything important in my life I felt lost. Like trying to sail the open sea during a cloudy night without navigation instruments, and not even knowing where was I supposed to port. I even felt so lost that I sometimes wasn't sure if I had a boat at all, or if there even was any sea left to navigate.
I know this is pretty "cliché" advice, but I can tell you that the feeling will go away at some point. It might take you yearS, but it will come. You just have to let all the experiences that you lived through settle down, so you can start seeing a path (or paths) in your life again.
Do not underestimate the amount of information you just got slammed with, that you haven't had the chance to process. And I don't mean only knowledge or skills, I mean emotionally.
Going through something as intense as having a company, and then (and this I can only imagine) having to sell it under such conditions, sets your brain and emotions into overdrive, just to be able to figure out what's going on, let alone to actually make anything out of it.
Don't push it. Just let it rest and things will start to get sorted in time. Of course, you still need to keep an eye open to avoid falling into a deep(er) depression, but other than that, I believe you just need to ride the wave. That's just part of the trip. And a necessary one at that.
In my case, I felt so disconnected to everyone else, because in my mind I was that guy that just can't make anything work, you know? "hey, look, he can't even keep a healthy relationship". "wow, that guy is such a failure, I mean, he just quit his job for some stupid dream! what a loser!", "incredible how stupid can some people be, right? I mean, who in his right mind would invest his life savings into such an stupid idea!?", and so on and so forth.
However, what you are not seeing (and will soon enough), is that after you process that boatload of experience, you will feel like king of the world. You might still be in the gutter (hopefully not, but it is possible), but you will feel like you at least were able to fought some of your most powerful inner demons and came out of it alive. Maybe you didn't beat the hell out of every demon, but you certainly punched more than one very hard and fast. And that feels fucking great once you realize what you just did.
You just got what I believe would be equivalent to a Master's degree. And I don't say that to be dismissive to people with actual degrees, but after the amount of stuff you had to do, what you had to prove to yourself and others, what you had to build (even without the slightest clue of how), I definitely consider it as a GREAT achievement, regardless of the "tangible" outcome (i.e. money, sales, etc).
Building things ex-nihilo is one of the hardest things I've experienced, but it also gives you such a perspective on the world that, even though I have no money, my personal relationships got strained and in some cases even broken, I have no job and I'm still in the process of getting job interviews, while at the same time having no money (and even a bit of debt), no savings, and pretty much nothing to show for what I did the last 4 years... I'd still do it again.
And I believe that after the dust settles, you will believe you'd do it all over again too (and you just might!).
So just hang in there. Trust me, this will pass and you will be much MUCH stronger and wise thanks to it.
I can even adventure to say that you will look back at this and remember it as one of your best experiences in your life. Not necessarily the most pleasant though, but one of the best nonetheless.
Cheers!
I believe I know exactly how you feel because up until about a few days ago, I also considered myself a failure, for similar reasons.
It's hard to compare apples to oranges of course, but in my case and just to give a bit of background, I quit my job while being part of team that created a very successful product for a Fortune 500 company ("failure" #1), my girlfriend left me 3 months after that, after 6+ years of relationship ("failure" #2), I felt my startup wasn't working and I felt trapped so I also left my startup, which didn't even had more than 3 customers ("failure" #3), meanwhile I pretty much lost all my savings ("failure" #4).
So, to sum up: no girlfriend, no money, no job, no startup... no nothing. Just 3 or 4 friends that endured while at my darkest moments.
After feeling like I failed at everything important in my life I felt lost. Like trying to sail the open sea during a cloudy night without navigation instruments, and not even knowing where was I supposed to port. I even felt so lost that I sometimes wasn't sure if I had a boat at all, or if there even was any sea left to navigate.
I know this is pretty "cliché" advice, but I can tell you that the feeling will go away at some point. It might take you yearS, but it will come. You just have to let all the experiences that you lived through settle down, so you can start seeing a path (or paths) in your life again.
Do not underestimate the amount of information you just got slammed with, that you haven't had the chance to process. And I don't mean only knowledge or skills, I mean emotionally.
Going through something as intense as having a company, and then (and this I can only imagine) having to sell it under such conditions, sets your brain and emotions into overdrive, just to be able to figure out what's going on, let alone to actually make anything out of it.
Don't push it. Just let it rest and things will start to get sorted in time. Of course, you still need to keep an eye open to avoid falling into a deep(er) depression, but other than that, I believe you just need to ride the wave. That's just part of the trip. And a necessary one at that.
In my case, I felt so disconnected to everyone else, because in my mind I was that guy that just can't make anything work, you know? "hey, look, he can't even keep a healthy relationship". "wow, that guy is such a failure, I mean, he just quit his job for some stupid dream! what a loser!", "incredible how stupid can some people be, right? I mean, who in his right mind would invest his life savings into such an stupid idea!?", and so on and so forth.
However, what you are not seeing (and will soon enough), is that after you process that boatload of experience, you will feel like king of the world. You might still be in the gutter (hopefully not, but it is possible), but you will feel like you at least were able to fought some of your most powerful inner demons and came out of it alive. Maybe you didn't beat the hell out of every demon, but you certainly punched more than one very hard and fast. And that feels fucking great once you realize what you just did.
You just got what I believe would be equivalent to a Master's degree. And I don't say that to be dismissive to people with actual degrees, but after the amount of stuff you had to do, what you had to prove to yourself and others, what you had to build (even without the slightest clue of how), I definitely consider it as a GREAT achievement, regardless of the "tangible" outcome (i.e. money, sales, etc).
Building things ex-nihilo is one of the hardest things I've experienced, but it also gives you such a perspective on the world that, even though I have no money, my personal relationships got strained and in some cases even broken, I have no job and I'm still in the process of getting job interviews, while at the same time having no money (and even a bit of debt), no savings, and pretty much nothing to show for what I did the last 4 years... I'd still do it again.
And I believe that after the dust settles, you will believe you'd do it all over again too (and you just might!).
So just hang in there. Trust me, this will pass and you will be much MUCH stronger and wise thanks to it.
I can even adventure to say that you will look back at this and remember it as one of your best experiences in your life. Not necessarily the most pleasant though, but one of the best nonetheless.
Cheers!
SirLJ(3)
[deleted]
Let me give you some background info:
- I'm 29 years old, computer science graduate. - I founded two startups. First one failed after 4 years. The second one was acquired 3 months ago but do not take it as a success. We had to sold it to one of our competitors at a price of one tenth of the our series A valuation. Basically, things go bad so fast, it was our best option. I've left the company as a part of the deal. - In both of the companies I've founded, I had to wear too many hats. As a result, I have not excelled in any particular skill, rather I've gained medium level of experience in variety of skills from development to product design to finance. - As a result of the recent acquisition I've some money in my bank account which can cover my expenses for a year from now. - I was mentally exhausted, so I decided to keep things slow for a while and that's why I've not been doing anything for the last three months. - Doing nothing made things worse, since I'm constantly thinking about my future and I can not find anything that I want to do. - I've decided to apply for some jobs but I'm not sure which position I may fit in. - I'm feeling like a huge failure.
What should I do with my life now? Has someone in here ever experienced something like this before? I'm open to any suggestions.
Thanks!
ps: posting this from a throwaway account for obvious reasons. I hope you don't mind.