More young men dropping out of job market to spend time in an alternate reality(1843magazine.com)
1843magazine.com
More young men dropping out of job market to spend time in an alternate reality
https://www.1843magazine.com/features/escape-to-another-world
22 comments
Couldn't agree more.
I have been an avid gamer all my life. In the recent decade it's taken a hit, as life (work, moving in with the gf, etc.) got in the way.
Ultimately, though, I come back to gaming. I play fewer games, as their quality overall has been affected by capitalism's relentless pursuit to ruin everything in the name of profits, but there are still plenty of good titles left.
I have come to the realisation that nothing else in life gives me the kind of happiness and peace of mind as gaming does. It's about as good as the most effective drugs I've known and that's saying quite something (certainly healthier too).
When I play games, I have something to focus on, while simultaneously rewarding the part of my brain involved in learning and accomplishment. It's a killer mixture I've fostered since I was a toddler pretty much, so it hooks into something very primal, deep down.
The funny thing is, that gaming has gone from the thing reject-nerds used to do, to a thing that's broadly socially accepted. So nowadays I can finally just happily admit that I enjoy games.
What I do not admit is, that almost anything I do in life is so I can play more games and ultimately, I don't mind, because that's where I have found more happiness than anywhere else.
The only thing that comes remotely close is the stability I get from a healthy family life living with my girlfriend, who loves gaming just as much.
Going to work, the forced socialising required to hold down the job, etc. is all just a means to do more gaming. If I could disappear into a virtual world full-time, I would.
I have been an avid gamer all my life. In the recent decade it's taken a hit, as life (work, moving in with the gf, etc.) got in the way.
Ultimately, though, I come back to gaming. I play fewer games, as their quality overall has been affected by capitalism's relentless pursuit to ruin everything in the name of profits, but there are still plenty of good titles left.
I have come to the realisation that nothing else in life gives me the kind of happiness and peace of mind as gaming does. It's about as good as the most effective drugs I've known and that's saying quite something (certainly healthier too).
When I play games, I have something to focus on, while simultaneously rewarding the part of my brain involved in learning and accomplishment. It's a killer mixture I've fostered since I was a toddler pretty much, so it hooks into something very primal, deep down.
The funny thing is, that gaming has gone from the thing reject-nerds used to do, to a thing that's broadly socially accepted. So nowadays I can finally just happily admit that I enjoy games.
What I do not admit is, that almost anything I do in life is so I can play more games and ultimately, I don't mind, because that's where I have found more happiness than anywhere else.
The only thing that comes remotely close is the stability I get from a healthy family life living with my girlfriend, who loves gaming just as much.
Going to work, the forced socialising required to hold down the job, etc. is all just a means to do more gaming. If I could disappear into a virtual world full-time, I would.
I don't understand (and always disapprove anyway) the downvoting. Fella above is contributing an honest point of view that actually adds a lot to the understanding of the situation. If anything s/he should be upvoted.
Every game, good or bad, that you've ever played, has been the consequence of capitalism. Capitalism wasn't any less involved in microtramsaction-less God of War than it was Fortnite. Capitalism is liberty, it doesn't tell you how to run your business...it doesn't tell you anything other than "you're allowed to own things and people can't steal them."
Games offer a degree of empowerment and security to anyone feeling downtrodden: it's no surprise that they come entangled with other life issues. To deal with anything in the real world, you have to summon the energy to get up and do tasks, make calls, send emails and hold meetings, and worst of all, spend your limited money on something. If you're already depressed, even mildly so, you will have trouble reaching the "activation threshold" needed to do any task.
With an investment in a game, you pay for the game and the equipment once, and can then have a multitude of experiences with no financial consequence. Negative elements have been guardrailed and smoothed out for you into minor irritants, allowing you to get through a day without experiencing stress, panic or anxiety even if your mind and mood are at a low level of resilience.
What games often don't do is guide their players back into views and habits that aid in overall life satisfaction. Most forms of human development involve struggling with more and more things - but in a liberated sense, where you are taking it on because you want to grow and challenge yourself. The escapist fantasy can't do that - which doesn't mean they shouldn't exist, but society is conflicted with how they should be used.
With an investment in a game, you pay for the game and the equipment once, and can then have a multitude of experiences with no financial consequence. Negative elements have been guardrailed and smoothed out for you into minor irritants, allowing you to get through a day without experiencing stress, panic or anxiety even if your mind and mood are at a low level of resilience.
What games often don't do is guide their players back into views and habits that aid in overall life satisfaction. Most forms of human development involve struggling with more and more things - but in a liberated sense, where you are taking it on because you want to grow and challenge yourself. The escapist fantasy can't do that - which doesn't mean they shouldn't exist, but society is conflicted with how they should be used.
yeah, the majority of my male friends are addicted to gaming and living in an alternate reality; it is something I have struggled with as well. Though I have always held a job and currently am enrolled in college in pursuit of my B.S. Comp sci degree, I would rather relax at home and game on my PS4/PC than go out to bars or clubs. Every year I spend hundreds to thousands of dollars on new games, hardware, monitors and whatever comforts that enhance that experience.
Many of us don't see the point in chasing marriage, higher education, careers, relationships or being a homeowner. The dating game in most cities is abysmal, and the majority of attractive single ladies are high end escorts, sugar babies and or gold diggers. There are many factors in society that has led to that. Sure I can spend a thousand or two on a nice watch, but for what? I can get a high NUC PC and huge monitor for that price. The same applies to a luxury car, sure I can afford it, but I would rather walk, take the train/bus or uber, so that I space out and listen to podcasts, youtube or game while commuting.
Phillip Zimbardo wrote a recent book on the afflictions that young men are facing today. It seems dauntless. Sometimes, I too ask myself if the chase is worth it. My gut feeling is that it's not.
Many of us don't see the point in chasing marriage, higher education, careers, relationships or being a homeowner. The dating game in most cities is abysmal, and the majority of attractive single ladies are high end escorts, sugar babies and or gold diggers. There are many factors in society that has led to that. Sure I can spend a thousand or two on a nice watch, but for what? I can get a high NUC PC and huge monitor for that price. The same applies to a luxury car, sure I can afford it, but I would rather walk, take the train/bus or uber, so that I space out and listen to podcasts, youtube or game while commuting.
Phillip Zimbardo wrote a recent book on the afflictions that young men are facing today. It seems dauntless. Sometimes, I too ask myself if the chase is worth it. My gut feeling is that it's not.
For what it's worth I think your views on women, at least in terms of your articulation here are pretty extreme. Attractive single women can't all be put into buckets like that, because attractiveness is not an objective quality.
In the first sentence you distance yourself from your friends who "are" addicted, but spend the rest of the time justifying your affiliation with the group. Would you like to be typecast in the same way?
In the first sentence you distance yourself from your friends who "are" addicted, but spend the rest of the time justifying your affiliation with the group. Would you like to be typecast in the same way?
>The dating game in most cities is abysmal, and the majority of attractive single ladies are high end escorts, sugar babies and or gold diggers.
Yeesh this just comes off as bitter. The dating game is hard but it's a two way street. I doubt anyone is going to be surprised that the most attractive members of either sex are taken but writing them off as sex workers is remarkably disingenuous.
Yeesh this just comes off as bitter. The dating game is hard but it's a two way street. I doubt anyone is going to be surprised that the most attractive members of either sex are taken but writing them off as sex workers is remarkably disingenuous.
> majority of attractive single ladies are high end escorts, sugar babies and or gold diggers.
I don’t think your outlook on life is anything close to accurate if you believe this.
I don’t think your outlook on life is anything close to accurate if you believe this.
> The same applies to a luxury car
Yeah I don't think Luxury cars give a big level of satisfaction.
For me, I have always felt that I can easily spend $20 and have a weekend of fun, or $100 and have a night out at a bar. The $20 for a weekend feels better.
That's the point. There are better forms of entertainment. The problem is that socializing is also a need our brain has that takes a back-seat.
Edit: Current society has most of our motivations to do things kinda met: games & tv, social media & game groups, porn. More or less you can control most of your basic motivations without the need for socializing or doing things that cost more than a bit of money. I'd argue 200 years ago it would be impossible to be satisfied even at that level without major social gatherings and such.
Yeah I don't think Luxury cars give a big level of satisfaction.
For me, I have always felt that I can easily spend $20 and have a weekend of fun, or $100 and have a night out at a bar. The $20 for a weekend feels better.
That's the point. There are better forms of entertainment. The problem is that socializing is also a need our brain has that takes a back-seat.
Edit: Current society has most of our motivations to do things kinda met: games & tv, social media & game groups, porn. More or less you can control most of your basic motivations without the need for socializing or doing things that cost more than a bit of money. I'd argue 200 years ago it would be impossible to be satisfied even at that level without major social gatherings and such.
> The dating game in most cities is abysmal, and the majority of attractive single ladies are high end escorts, sugar babies and or gold diggers.
Time to start going to church.
Time to start going to church.
Clubs do suck, but seeking satisfaction through gaming is going to leave you dead inside in the long run. Can I suggest picking up some hobbies that you can do socially, where you can meet women with mutual interests?
As for your rant on the behavior of hot women... You have to understand, hot women grow up having to constantly push people away because they get too much attention. They develop hoops because otherwise they'd probably never get to be alone. In a lot of cases their demanding behavior is a veneer that you can get past fairly quickly once they realize they enjoy having you around. As long as you're really confident, when that type of woman is unreasonably demanding, it works pretty well to respond to her as if she just told a bad/corny joke.
As for your rant on the behavior of hot women... You have to understand, hot women grow up having to constantly push people away because they get too much attention. They develop hoops because otherwise they'd probably never get to be alone. In a lot of cases their demanding behavior is a veneer that you can get past fairly quickly once they realize they enjoy having you around. As long as you're really confident, when that type of woman is unreasonably demanding, it works pretty well to respond to her as if she just told a bad/corny joke.
It is kind of interesting that you see two alternatives - drinking+clublife or gaming and not much else.
I hear a baffling amount of this sentiment these days, and its not just gaming, though gaming is probably the most common. Do people see the only alternative to leaving their home as drinking at clubs / bars? or is it just an excuse and people don't really mean it ? I hear it enough that I don't really think it is. Do people not know there are a plethora of social activities that don't involve drinking?
Maybe it is that when are isolated long enough, you cease to know what people normally do (not having occasion to observe it) and pop-entertainment reality takes over in your mind.
Isolation does that. And majority of population was never heavy clubbers or keg drinkers. That was always only minority of people despite being shown in movies as norm.
Isolation does that. And majority of population was never heavy clubbers or keg drinkers. That was always only minority of people despite being shown in movies as norm.
It is interesting. Almost like the pursuit of gaming takes away the imagination and urge to engage in anything else.
I'm curious on your opinion, but what is the limit of addiction to gaming and just gaming for hobby? I might be reading too much on your usage of "friends are addicted to gaming"
I was addicted to gaming in my teens, often staying up late nights till 4am. I'm 100% sure if I'd have stayed playing games I would have destroyed my career. I understand the allure of games. I understand the buzz of fading into a world where you can be anyone or anything.
I came to the realisation one night that I was wasting my life away. That gaming was an escape from reality. I stopped gaming completely because I felt like I was missing out on what the world had to offer.
After I stopped gaming a lot of things changed for the better. I became happier, healthier and made more friends in real life than I had ever before.
Gaming addiction should be spoken about more.
I came to the realisation one night that I was wasting my life away. That gaming was an escape from reality. I stopped gaming completely because I felt like I was missing out on what the world had to offer.
After I stopped gaming a lot of things changed for the better. I became happier, healthier and made more friends in real life than I had ever before.
Gaming addiction should be spoken about more.
Games have a really well defined goal-reward structure. "Do this X times and get Y". If you get a job, your path to success is nebulous. Learning new things is hard, getting outside your comfort zone is hard.
Combined with slight depression, it's really easy to see video games dominating all aspects of someone's life.
Combined with slight depression, it's really easy to see video games dominating all aspects of someone's life.
Agreed. They are very comfortable and it's super easy to feel good about existing in the confined parameters. OPs attitude sounds a lot like "we've stopped trying and decided to let the games win". Rallying against the 'opposite' (opposite sex, or perceived successful men, 'jocks') seems like a defense mechanism that the group reinforces so that they don't have to face their own circumstance / fears.
I've fallen into it a bit in the past and it's easy to get bitter and isolated.
I think the only way out is to turn off the games and try something different.
I've fallen into it a bit in the past and it's easy to get bitter and isolated.
I think the only way out is to turn off the games and try something different.
All this focus on gaming could be backwards. The young guy I know who games all day instead of working is always sending out resumes. None of his jobs lasts very long but he does well while they last. This labor market has failed young people and not everyone is going to respond by founding concerns of their own. Its not the games, its the economy.
[2017] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13890782
Still very interesting though.
"We're not going to pay you enough to ever actually own anything, so you'll have to rent most things for the rest of your life, and you're still going to be living paycheck to paycheck."
"Gee, maybe I'll find something else to do than maintain the institutions you rigged against me because you didn't want to invest in your own retirement."