Ask HN: How do you recharge your batteries?
53 comments
For anyone else fooled by this title and disappointed this isn't actual rechargable battery content here are some good reviews:
The Best Rechargeable Battery Charger (for AA and AAA Batteries) https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-rechargeable... (https://archive.ph/6Z5nG)
The Best Rechargeable AA and AAA Batteries https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-rechargeable... (https://archive.ph/vGvg1)
The Best Rechargeable Battery Charger (for AA and AAA Batteries) https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-rechargeable... (https://archive.ph/6Z5nG)
The Best Rechargeable AA and AAA Batteries https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-rechargeable... (https://archive.ph/vGvg1)
Yeah. I was viewing the comments link.
Title: How do you recharge your batteries?
Reply [1]: "You are never alone. You didn’t choose to come into existence-at the very least, your parents (and others who raised you) will always have a physical and emotional bond of care and concern for you..."
And I'm thinking wow that's a whole another level of orthogonal...
[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31787637
Title: How do you recharge your batteries?
Reply [1]: "You are never alone. You didn’t choose to come into existence-at the very least, your parents (and others who raised you) will always have a physical and emotional bond of care and concern for you..."
And I'm thinking wow that's a whole another level of orthogonal...
[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31787637
Huh. Sorry I meant mental batteries. Really sorry for that :(
Don't worry about it, I found it amusing :)
Edit: I just realized how that sounded. I mean the expectation, not the actual content. Hope it gets better for you.
Edit: I just realized how that sounded. I mean the expectation, not the actual content. Hope it gets better for you.
1. Just a suggestion: How about trying some mindfulness exercises? I realized I could focus better after 15-20 minutes of meditation. I am sure something similar might be available given how popular meditation is nowadays. You could try the headspace app - AFAIK, there are 10 (3~8 min) free short sessions. You can build up on that.
2. Also please open up to a core group of friends. That works as good as counseling. Knowing a bunch of people whom you could share your life dramatically reduces stress. Its a support mechanism as human beings are inherently social. Take up the courage to talk to your instructors about academic difficulties. You'd be surprised how willing academic people are to go the extra mile.
One thing to remember: We're always alone. Our existence is atomic in a way - an independent event & you are your best help. It is a hard fact to swallow. No matter how social we are, our lives are our own to live. We try to find meaning to our existence but no one will really understand you 100% & your trials and tribulations - not even your parents. If you are in a tough spot, only you can pull yourself out of the dumps by conscious efforts & bold decisions. Take deep breaths, build your courage up and fight your way out. Lot of people reading your story will be rooting for you!
2. Also please open up to a core group of friends. That works as good as counseling. Knowing a bunch of people whom you could share your life dramatically reduces stress. Its a support mechanism as human beings are inherently social. Take up the courage to talk to your instructors about academic difficulties. You'd be surprised how willing academic people are to go the extra mile.
One thing to remember: We're always alone. Our existence is atomic in a way - an independent event & you are your best help. It is a hard fact to swallow. No matter how social we are, our lives are our own to live. We try to find meaning to our existence but no one will really understand you 100% & your trials and tribulations - not even your parents. If you are in a tough spot, only you can pull yourself out of the dumps by conscious efforts & bold decisions. Take deep breaths, build your courage up and fight your way out. Lot of people reading your story will be rooting for you!
Fixed that last paragraph:
You are never alone. You didn’t choose to come into existence-at the very least, your parents (and others who raised you) will always have a physical and emotional bond of care and concern for you. They likely know you very well and want to see you thrive. No matter how alone you feel, keep in mind that the emotions you experience, and even the general challenges you face, will 100% have been experienced by many others. If you are in a tough spot, reach out to people around you: your family, your teachers, mentors, even your neighbor. Take deep breaths, build your courage up and talk to a professional therapist. Don’t be afraid to meditate on your challenges and seek answers in collective wisdom. Share what you discover. Lots of people reading your story will find themselves in it, and your resilience can become a source of hope others.
You are never alone. You didn’t choose to come into existence-at the very least, your parents (and others who raised you) will always have a physical and emotional bond of care and concern for you. They likely know you very well and want to see you thrive. No matter how alone you feel, keep in mind that the emotions you experience, and even the general challenges you face, will 100% have been experienced by many others. If you are in a tough spot, reach out to people around you: your family, your teachers, mentors, even your neighbor. Take deep breaths, build your courage up and talk to a professional therapist. Don’t be afraid to meditate on your challenges and seek answers in collective wisdom. Share what you discover. Lots of people reading your story will find themselves in it, and your resilience can become a source of hope others.
Thanks but no. The dismissive nature of your initial comment is irksome. As someone who has lived through a very similar phase, I would find your words encouraging but not very helpful personally. But then it is subjective.
I meant every word in the philosophical sense. While sharing what you feel and experience is good, it doesn't take away the fact that each one has a slightly different experiences, takeaways and optics & their alone. My goal was not to give a obligatory advice (like the usual case), but give a reality check that we alone experience what we are going through and rise up to the occasion.
Let me share: I had experience with therapy for suicidal depression twice. My parents were supportive but due to generational gaps, they couldn't empathize. I don't blame them. They are well meaning, like 90% parents. But they never could internalize what depressed me, although they knew what bothered me. The counseling made little difference. The medications made it worse. I learnt the hard way how I thought of my problem was unique to me. No one could put themselves in my shoes. My pain was mine alone. And I had to wade through it to get better. A lot of people confuse professional help to be the sum and solution to their mental issue, until it is late. Counseling was like a 'mental walking stick'. I have shuffled through a dozen therapists to know it will only help so much. Well meaning advice is great, but well meant reality-check is better. I mean to convey 'he is his best help and needs re-evaluating/rethinking how to brace with the issue in hand'. No one will solve his problems - at best cheer for him or handhold him. But he will have to walk the path. And it is okay to understand that people won't always get it 100%.
You and I look at hardship differently and choose to share our empathy differently as well. Your opinion is valuable for the OP too. I respect that. But to say "Fixed it" just shows you abjectly dismissed someone's viewpoint & suffering as worthless. To each his own. If this approach helped you in life, I am glad it worked for you. It did not for me. I will stand by my last paragraph - it is meant for the OP.
I meant every word in the philosophical sense. While sharing what you feel and experience is good, it doesn't take away the fact that each one has a slightly different experiences, takeaways and optics & their alone. My goal was not to give a obligatory advice (like the usual case), but give a reality check that we alone experience what we are going through and rise up to the occasion.
Let me share: I had experience with therapy for suicidal depression twice. My parents were supportive but due to generational gaps, they couldn't empathize. I don't blame them. They are well meaning, like 90% parents. But they never could internalize what depressed me, although they knew what bothered me. The counseling made little difference. The medications made it worse. I learnt the hard way how I thought of my problem was unique to me. No one could put themselves in my shoes. My pain was mine alone. And I had to wade through it to get better. A lot of people confuse professional help to be the sum and solution to their mental issue, until it is late. Counseling was like a 'mental walking stick'. I have shuffled through a dozen therapists to know it will only help so much. Well meaning advice is great, but well meant reality-check is better. I mean to convey 'he is his best help and needs re-evaluating/rethinking how to brace with the issue in hand'. No one will solve his problems - at best cheer for him or handhold him. But he will have to walk the path. And it is okay to understand that people won't always get it 100%.
You and I look at hardship differently and choose to share our empathy differently as well. Your opinion is valuable for the OP too. I respect that. But to say "Fixed it" just shows you abjectly dismissed someone's viewpoint & suffering as worthless. To each his own. If this approach helped you in life, I am glad it worked for you. It did not for me. I will stand by my last paragraph - it is meant for the OP.
[deleted]
I usually just lie on the wireless charger (bed) or change my fuel cells (drink a beverage like iced tea) or boost my internal oxidation engine (breathing exercises). Sometimes cleaning the cache (meditation) and sometimes dumping useless info to disk (watching Netflix) also help. Ingesting power boosts (fruits) also does the trick sometimes. Occasionally, I go for a deep cleaning (swimming) where I can lower the temperature and empty the RAM.
Ugh, sorry to hear about it, that totally sucks. :-(
IMO/IME...this is a good one to put to your master's degree department. Circumstances material to your achieving the degree as it existed before your health downturn last fall have changed. So this is partly something they should help you navigate.
Mental health issues like those you are experiencing are notorious for casting our problems, over and over, as issues only we can solve, alone.
Typically though, not only do others want to help, but departments and administrations usually have a great deal of experience in sculpting new solutions out of what appears to be thin air. For this exact type of situation. Which is to say--they have probably been down this road before and have tools which could immediately make your life better.
It may take some searching and probing to find out the best people to work with on this (sometimes it's a department secretary who pushes things into motion, you never know). But this activity will be, by definition, returning executive control to your side (same with posting here btw, nicely done).
So, I would ride them, as if they are party to your resolving the current health situation, to the degree you can. Don't take such risks with your own psychology alone. Take the risks with the school, and use the waiting time to construct boundaries around your personal recovery.
Just some thoughts though, I'm sure there are lots of ways to attack the problem & you got this. Good on you for reaching out.
IMO/IME...this is a good one to put to your master's degree department. Circumstances material to your achieving the degree as it existed before your health downturn last fall have changed. So this is partly something they should help you navigate.
Mental health issues like those you are experiencing are notorious for casting our problems, over and over, as issues only we can solve, alone.
Typically though, not only do others want to help, but departments and administrations usually have a great deal of experience in sculpting new solutions out of what appears to be thin air. For this exact type of situation. Which is to say--they have probably been down this road before and have tools which could immediately make your life better.
It may take some searching and probing to find out the best people to work with on this (sometimes it's a department secretary who pushes things into motion, you never know). But this activity will be, by definition, returning executive control to your side (same with posting here btw, nicely done).
So, I would ride them, as if they are party to your resolving the current health situation, to the degree you can. Don't take such risks with your own psychology alone. Take the risks with the school, and use the waiting time to construct boundaries around your personal recovery.
Just some thoughts though, I'm sure there are lots of ways to attack the problem & you got this. Good on you for reaching out.
I find that reading fiction and walking in nature recharge me.
Try hiking a 6 - 10 mi (round trip) trail at a nearby state / national park. If that seems helpful, find a couple national parks that you think are really beautiful, and spend a week or two hiking around. (I recommend Canyonlands, which is good for a couple days, and it's nearby Arches, Bryce, Zion, and Capitol Reef national parks, as well as Monument Valley.)
Another option is long-distance walking trails. I did the West Highland Way in Scotland recently. I found it challenging, beautiful, and purposeful. It's 97 mi, which can be done over 7 - 8 days (although I recommend a few rest days), so it's not the 6 month commitment the Pacific Crest Trail, Continental Divide Trail, and Allegheny Trail are. England / Scotland have all kinds of walking trails. I heard about a 100 mi trail around Iceland, too. Anyway, it's very feasible, there are hotels along the way if you don't feel like camping (book ahead, 80k people walk the WHW every year), and there's camaraderie with the people you meet. The US doesn't really have walking trails except for backpacking in the wilderness, but a biking tour might have a similar effect.
Try hiking a 6 - 10 mi (round trip) trail at a nearby state / national park. If that seems helpful, find a couple national parks that you think are really beautiful, and spend a week or two hiking around. (I recommend Canyonlands, which is good for a couple days, and it's nearby Arches, Bryce, Zion, and Capitol Reef national parks, as well as Monument Valley.)
Another option is long-distance walking trails. I did the West Highland Way in Scotland recently. I found it challenging, beautiful, and purposeful. It's 97 mi, which can be done over 7 - 8 days (although I recommend a few rest days), so it's not the 6 month commitment the Pacific Crest Trail, Continental Divide Trail, and Allegheny Trail are. England / Scotland have all kinds of walking trails. I heard about a 100 mi trail around Iceland, too. Anyway, it's very feasible, there are hotels along the way if you don't feel like camping (book ahead, 80k people walk the WHW every year), and there's camaraderie with the people you meet. The US doesn't really have walking trails except for backpacking in the wilderness, but a biking tour might have a similar effect.
Is it possible that you have Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA)[0]?
Being tired all the time and not being able to concentrate are prime indicators of sleep deprivation.
I'm biased, as when I was in my late 20s, I was pretty much a walking zombie: tired all the time, unable to concentrate for long periods of time, cranky/irritable, etc.
Then, while on vacation with family, my brother noticed that I was gasping for breath while "sleeping" and suggested I get it checked out.
A sleep study[1] (onsite polysomnography test) showed me waking up 270(!) times over the seven hour test.
Since I was waking up (the pathology is, 1. fall asleep; 2. stop breathing; 3. wake up; 4. rinse and repeat) before getting to deeper levels (stage 3/4) of sleep, I wasn't getting the rest I needed.
Once I was diagnosed and started using a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP)[2] machine (efficacy confirmed by a second polysomnography test), I slept through the night without any apnea events. As a result, my life changed dramatically. I had more energy, was able to concentrate, wsa more active, calmer and better able to handle issues/problems.
Not saying that's what's going on with you, but after 19 years of treating my sleep apnea, I've never looked back.
I'm not saying that's what's the issue here, but based on your description, it might be useful to investigate this possibility.
I hope you find your way through this successfully!
[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obstructive_sleep_apnea
[1] https://www.sleepassociation.org/sleep-apnea/testing/
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continuous_positive_airway_pre...
Being tired all the time and not being able to concentrate are prime indicators of sleep deprivation.
I'm biased, as when I was in my late 20s, I was pretty much a walking zombie: tired all the time, unable to concentrate for long periods of time, cranky/irritable, etc.
Then, while on vacation with family, my brother noticed that I was gasping for breath while "sleeping" and suggested I get it checked out.
A sleep study[1] (onsite polysomnography test) showed me waking up 270(!) times over the seven hour test.
Since I was waking up (the pathology is, 1. fall asleep; 2. stop breathing; 3. wake up; 4. rinse and repeat) before getting to deeper levels (stage 3/4) of sleep, I wasn't getting the rest I needed.
Once I was diagnosed and started using a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP)[2] machine (efficacy confirmed by a second polysomnography test), I slept through the night without any apnea events. As a result, my life changed dramatically. I had more energy, was able to concentrate, wsa more active, calmer and better able to handle issues/problems.
Not saying that's what's going on with you, but after 19 years of treating my sleep apnea, I've never looked back.
I'm not saying that's what's the issue here, but based on your description, it might be useful to investigate this possibility.
I hope you find your way through this successfully!
[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obstructive_sleep_apnea
[1] https://www.sleepassociation.org/sleep-apnea/testing/
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continuous_positive_airway_pre...
It is very likely that I have that. I don't think I have the money to purchase a machine for that.
>It is very likely that I have that. I don't think I have the money to purchase a machine for that.
I've continuously had health insurance over this time and I haven't paid (except deductibles and co-pays) a nickel for the four different CPAP machines I've had.
If you really do have OSA, not treating it because "I don't think I have the money" is a poster boy for "penny-wise and pound-foolish."
If I hadn't treated my OSA, I would never have been able to maintain my (relatively) highly-paid career and would most certainly not have been able to live a decent life.
Again, you may not have OSA, but if you do, I don't see how rejecting an effective treatment is a good economic choice.
If you had a brain tumor or a heart valve issue, would you reject treatment because it was too expensive? If the answer is "no," then why reject this (much less expensive) treatment?
If the answer is "yes," then good luck. You're gonna need it.
Edit: Fixed typo.
I've continuously had health insurance over this time and I haven't paid (except deductibles and co-pays) a nickel for the four different CPAP machines I've had.
If you really do have OSA, not treating it because "I don't think I have the money" is a poster boy for "penny-wise and pound-foolish."
If I hadn't treated my OSA, I would never have been able to maintain my (relatively) highly-paid career and would most certainly not have been able to live a decent life.
Again, you may not have OSA, but if you do, I don't see how rejecting an effective treatment is a good economic choice.
If you had a brain tumor or a heart valve issue, would you reject treatment because it was too expensive? If the answer is "no," then why reject this (much less expensive) treatment?
If the answer is "yes," then good luck. You're gonna need it.
Edit: Fixed typo.
[deleted]
I've been treated for it for over 10 years and can't tolerate the mask anymore. I hate it. I've found some relief with a large sleep wedge, you might try that as low cost temporary alternative. In addition, weight loss if that's also a factor (definitely was for me). I'll try to use mask once a week but I usually tear it off in my sleep.
I have tried all sorts of stuff during sleep, from NCA headphones, to sleeping masks, everything, and I end up removing it all.
The point of the wedge is to discourage your airway from being blocked. Fwiw, it was recommended to me by my sleep doctor until I was able to complete the process of sleep test and receive/fitted for machine and mask. If you don't have insurance which would cover all of that you should consider it.
It sounds silly but try sleeping with tape over your mouth to encourage nose breathing. If you do have sleep apnea, while not as effective as a CPAP machine, it might help. Good luck!
> It sounds silly but try sleeping with tape over your mouth to encourage nose breathing. If you do have sleep apnea, while not as effective as a CPAP machine, it might help. Good luck!
It sounds silly because it is siily
OSA generally manifests itself in the throat/trachea and (shocking, I know) all respiration, whether through the nose or mouth must pass through that area. If that area is obstructed, then it doesn't matter whether you breathe through your nose or mouth (in fact, CPAP masks come in a variety of flavors -- nose only, mouth only and mouth/nose).
I'm not trying to be dismissive here, but given the way OSA causes problems in breathing, your "advice" is worse than useless.
It sounds silly because it is siily
OSA generally manifests itself in the throat/trachea and (shocking, I know) all respiration, whether through the nose or mouth must pass through that area. If that area is obstructed, then it doesn't matter whether you breathe through your nose or mouth (in fact, CPAP masks come in a variety of flavors -- nose only, mouth only and mouth/nose).
I'm not trying to be dismissive here, but given the way OSA causes problems in breathing, your "advice" is worse than useless.
Alright, chill out mate! I'm just taking this from a book I read called "breath". The author did this and suggested it fixed his sleep apnea. Also, for what it's worth, I tape my mouth if I have a cold/hay fever and it stops me snoring if my nose isn't too inflamed.
>Alright, chill out mate!
I'm not your "mate." And I'm not really all that exercised over the ridiculous "information" you provided. But "duty calls"[0].
>I'm just taking this from a book I read called "breath".
The earth is flat. Ivermectin cures COVID. There's a global conspiracy of members of the US Democratic Party that kills babies to extract their tasty, tasty adrenochrome. Direct sunlight kills vampires. Vampires exist.
I read all of the above, but I don't repeat such pernicious nonsense as fact. And if I did, you'd likely call me out on it. And well you should.
>Also, for what it's worth, I tape my mouth if I have a cold/hay fever and it stops me snoring if my nose isn't too inflamed.
Good. I'm glad that works for you. However while snoring might be a symptom of OSA, taping your mouth as a "cure" for OSA makes no sense at all.
Honestly, I don't really care what you do (although you might try taping your fingers together to avoid interactions like this -- yeah, that's the ticket!) or say, but you made statements that are unsupported by any facts.
Heck, you even said that it "sounds silly." And it is. Under most circumstances, I love silly. In this case, however, you're just ignorantly spouting off.
But don't change anything you do, say or think because of me. You go, girl!
[0] https://xkcd.com/386/
I'm not your "mate." And I'm not really all that exercised over the ridiculous "information" you provided. But "duty calls"[0].
>I'm just taking this from a book I read called "breath".
The earth is flat. Ivermectin cures COVID. There's a global conspiracy of members of the US Democratic Party that kills babies to extract their tasty, tasty adrenochrome. Direct sunlight kills vampires. Vampires exist.
I read all of the above, but I don't repeat such pernicious nonsense as fact. And if I did, you'd likely call me out on it. And well you should.
>Also, for what it's worth, I tape my mouth if I have a cold/hay fever and it stops me snoring if my nose isn't too inflamed.
Good. I'm glad that works for you. However while snoring might be a symptom of OSA, taping your mouth as a "cure" for OSA makes no sense at all.
Honestly, I don't really care what you do (although you might try taping your fingers together to avoid interactions like this -- yeah, that's the ticket!) or say, but you made statements that are unsupported by any facts.
Heck, you even said that it "sounds silly." And it is. Under most circumstances, I love silly. In this case, however, you're just ignorantly spouting off.
But don't change anything you do, say or think because of me. You go, girl!
[0] https://xkcd.com/386/
[deleted]
There are often health issues that need to be fixed first, but besides that:
- Take a minimum of two weeks off, preferably more. That's how long it takes to start to disconnect. If you need to borrow some money, do it.
- Start exercising in the morning, minor weight-lifting is good.
- Go for long hikes in the park... really long, the kind where your "dogs are barkin'" later that night. Great way to clear the mind as well.
- Read a book in the evenings, preferably something uplifting and unrelated to your worries. No TV, no anti-social media.
- Get a great night's sleep, multiple times. i.e. Go to bed early, ~9pm at the latest.
- Take a minimum of two weeks off, preferably more. That's how long it takes to start to disconnect. If you need to borrow some money, do it.
- Start exercising in the morning, minor weight-lifting is good.
- Go for long hikes in the park... really long, the kind where your "dogs are barkin'" later that night. Great way to clear the mind as well.
- Read a book in the evenings, preferably something uplifting and unrelated to your worries. No TV, no anti-social media.
- Get a great night's sleep, multiple times. i.e. Go to bed early, ~9pm at the latest.
Forgot to mention "Fight Club" ... maybe some martial arts, boxing, bjj, etc. We weren't built to live in the office.
Talk to a psychiatrist.
Ignore all medical advice on this site.
Ignore all medical advice on this site.
Any advice you get here will at most be useful for those people who are occasionally suffering from low energy during the normal course of life.
You, as you yourself stated, are having a total burnout. You need professional help. Try looking for different kinds of help if the waiting list is too long for what you need the most. Some kind of group therapy perhaps, somebody who is helping people build up strength after Long Covid perhaps. Consider moving back to be with your family or another group of people who will be supportive.
If doing a masters and having a 30 hours job at the same time has brought you to a burnout (triggered perhaps by some other events in your life). Then you can't recover while you keep on doing those two. Something will have to go (the job, or the study) while you recover. That is a very difficult thing to face and accept, but once the body and the mind has a breakdown after prolonged stress, there is no other way to recover. Any advice you get to get you back on your feet in two weeks is for the normal "pushed yourself a bit too much for a few months or a year" cases.
You, as you yourself stated, are having a total burnout. You need professional help. Try looking for different kinds of help if the waiting list is too long for what you need the most. Some kind of group therapy perhaps, somebody who is helping people build up strength after Long Covid perhaps. Consider moving back to be with your family or another group of people who will be supportive.
If doing a masters and having a 30 hours job at the same time has brought you to a burnout (triggered perhaps by some other events in your life). Then you can't recover while you keep on doing those two. Something will have to go (the job, or the study) while you recover. That is a very difficult thing to face and accept, but once the body and the mind has a breakdown after prolonged stress, there is no other way to recover. Any advice you get to get you back on your feet in two weeks is for the normal "pushed yourself a bit too much for a few months or a year" cases.
Sorry to hear you are going through a hard time. I had something similar some years. I was lucky that I could take a couple months off work but sounds like you cannot. Just sharing my experience here but definitely if/when you are able, seek professional advice.
This was what I did for a few months and help me get out of the burnout stage. 1. Ruthless priorities and expectation setting in life. I cut down to 1-2 friends that I would hang out once a week with max. I let my family know that I would be MIA for a bit. Even when I went back to work, I asked for super specific goals from my manager. I expected that I would not achieve anything major in this time period. 2. No alcohol for a while 3. I took sleeping aids to ensure I slept at the same time and woke up at the same time 4. I focused on just a small amount of meditation and low intensity exercise like walks 5. I decided on 1 guilty pleasure that I was allowed to do a couple times a week. For me, it was eating super unhealthy delicious food.
This was what I did for a few months and help me get out of the burnout stage. 1. Ruthless priorities and expectation setting in life. I cut down to 1-2 friends that I would hang out once a week with max. I let my family know that I would be MIA for a bit. Even when I went back to work, I asked for super specific goals from my manager. I expected that I would not achieve anything major in this time period. 2. No alcohol for a while 3. I took sleeping aids to ensure I slept at the same time and woke up at the same time 4. I focused on just a small amount of meditation and low intensity exercise like walks 5. I decided on 1 guilty pleasure that I was allowed to do a couple times a week. For me, it was eating super unhealthy delicious food.
If you have any nature nearby, take walks. Take walks every day. I personally prefer evenings. An hour or two is perfectly fine. No headphones, no audiobooks, no music. Just you and nature.
Normally, to deal with a burnout, I'd recommend to take a month off and shed as much responsibilities as possible, but this doesn't seem to be an option in your situation.
Normally, to deal with a burnout, I'd recommend to take a month off and shed as much responsibilities as possible, but this doesn't seem to be an option in your situation.
There are no silver bullets for things like these, you really need change - but you are in a position where you are in a very demanding period of your life and you don't really have the resources to ease the burden. I am very sorry that you are going through that.
In terms of refreshing myself, sometimes I find when I am in stressful situations that I just need a bit of grounding, I remind myself of my situation, my objectives, and my direction. But also pay attention to that if something needs to be cut, then work on cutting it. There is also no shame in finishing things later, if you need to defer for a bit - do so
Sometimes you may need to bite the bullet and accept that this is a temporarily hard situation, and it's OK to feel like crap. You know your working towards a goal, but whether you think it's worth it or not that's up to your judgment. It's tough being ambitious unfortunately
In terms of refreshing myself, sometimes I find when I am in stressful situations that I just need a bit of grounding, I remind myself of my situation, my objectives, and my direction. But also pay attention to that if something needs to be cut, then work on cutting it. There is also no shame in finishing things later, if you need to defer for a bit - do so
Sometimes you may need to bite the bullet and accept that this is a temporarily hard situation, and it's OK to feel like crap. You know your working towards a goal, but whether you think it's worth it or not that's up to your judgment. It's tough being ambitious unfortunately
I hike Old Rag and sit for at least an hour on a rock ledge with low hiker traffic. I don't write. I don't read. I just sit and stare at the mountains and the sky.
I might watch a bird or two. I might see an occasional hiker. My mind might wander to anything from the mountain's name (Old Rag is short for Old Raggedy, because of the rough terrain and serrated skyline) to Stonewall using these mountains tactically, to the Appalachians acting as a firebreak in a hypothetical zombie apocalypse (like in the Remaining series). But I don't consciously focus on anything or do any work. I just let my mind do whatever it needs to do. It's probably as close to meditation as I get.
Then I complete the hike. The endorphins help, too. After a day of rest, I'm a whole new person.
I might watch a bird or two. I might see an occasional hiker. My mind might wander to anything from the mountain's name (Old Rag is short for Old Raggedy, because of the rough terrain and serrated skyline) to Stonewall using these mountains tactically, to the Appalachians acting as a firebreak in a hypothetical zombie apocalypse (like in the Remaining series). But I don't consciously focus on anything or do any work. I just let my mind do whatever it needs to do. It's probably as close to meditation as I get.
Then I complete the hike. The endorphins help, too. After a day of rest, I'm a whole new person.
Get out into nature as much as possible.
Unplug for the internet for hours or days at a time when you can. Digital minimalism practices. No screens 2 hours before bed time.
Exercise, yoga, meditation, breath exercises (i.e. Wim Hoff method), cold water exposure.
Cut out sugar from your diet; eat healthy home cooked real (whole) foods.
Intermittent fasting. Just completed my first 72 hour fast, and have never felt so equanimous. (Don't recommend doing this out of the gate, I've been building up towards this goal for ~6 months of progressive time restricted eating).
Spend quality time with friends and family.
Map out a life plan for the next 5-10 years of your life, and break that down into small actionable supporting items for the next 1-3-6-12 months.
Unplug for the internet for hours or days at a time when you can. Digital minimalism practices. No screens 2 hours before bed time.
Exercise, yoga, meditation, breath exercises (i.e. Wim Hoff method), cold water exposure.
Cut out sugar from your diet; eat healthy home cooked real (whole) foods.
Intermittent fasting. Just completed my first 72 hour fast, and have never felt so equanimous. (Don't recommend doing this out of the gate, I've been building up towards this goal for ~6 months of progressive time restricted eating).
Spend quality time with friends and family.
Map out a life plan for the next 5-10 years of your life, and break that down into small actionable supporting items for the next 1-3-6-12 months.
Do you wake up at circa 2am? It might be cortisol…
Walking, and especialy long walks in a forrest help a lot..
https://youtu.be/g3XjFOU1EyQ
https://youtu.be/L2fKo_dbXS0
https://youtu.be/CXg7OONSTIE
https://youtu.be/_tqi3ABznwc
https://youtu.be/5hIiixbdx2w
Walking, and especialy long walks in a forrest help a lot..
https://youtu.be/g3XjFOU1EyQ
https://youtu.be/L2fKo_dbXS0
https://youtu.be/CXg7OONSTIE
https://youtu.be/_tqi3ABznwc
https://youtu.be/5hIiixbdx2w
On the surface it appears you are doing too much. Nothing is going to help if you are trying to do too many things.
Do you actually need the masters degree? What's it in? What will it give you career wise?
Do you actually need the masters degree? What's it in? What will it give you career wise?
The master's is in CS, and most of the content I have covered is in ML. In theory it already has helped because it opened doors to multiple FAANG companies for interviews, some of which I regretfully closed on my own.
I don't think I am doing too much. It's burnout due to lack of executive function exacerbated by lack of proper structure.
As we speak I am on [retracted]. I have covered a non trivial portion of the content and made certain things just click.
I think that the lack of proper executive functions along with a very problematic default mode network resulted in a situation where it is very difficult to help myself.
I understand that this is not sustainable in the long term, but for the first time in a while I feel great and I managed to actually study for 2 hours without getting distracted.
I don't think I am doing too much. It's burnout due to lack of executive function exacerbated by lack of proper structure.
As we speak I am on [retracted]. I have covered a non trivial portion of the content and made certain things just click.
I think that the lack of proper executive functions along with a very problematic default mode network resulted in a situation where it is very difficult to help myself.
I understand that this is not sustainable in the long term, but for the first time in a while I feel great and I managed to actually study for 2 hours without getting distracted.
Just take a few job interviews at the non-amazon faangs. No one there cares about masters degrees. If you get the job you are on easy street for a while.
I took up cycling and that worked for me. Interestingly, i didn't do it because of burnout, I started because my kid needed to keep an exercise log for her PE class during the pandemic, so I went with her, discovered that I enjoyed it, started going on longer rides, and only in retrospect realized that it was really good for my mental health.
I've tried meditating, walking, all sorts of stuff. Cooking works for me. Putting together a jar of kimchi or a batch of flaky biscuits takes my brain away from everything else for just long enough, it's just engaging enough, just complicated enough. Winner and chicken dinner.
It took me almost 15 years to find swimming. Whenever I feel life is starting to get away from me I make sure to go to the pool 5 times a week.
I don't swim very far. Just 1000-2500m.
I don't swim very far. Just 1000-2500m.
Exercise, any way you can.
I hear a lot of mental complaints.
That tells me you're ignoring your body.
Don't.
Take care of yourself as if you're someone you love very deeply.
I hear a lot of mental complaints.
That tells me you're ignoring your body.
Don't.
Take care of yourself as if you're someone you love very deeply.
Please seek therapy ASAP.
Ignore "advice" from people without the proper training, including HN.
Ignore "advice" from people without the proper training, including HN.
Try Yoga Nidra. This might help. There are a Lot of videos on How to do this on youtube.
Yoga Nidra and NSDR done sometime after the noon made a huge impact on my energy levels.
After ~20min session I feel like a new person, ready to tackle the rest of the day.
Of course, it gets better the more you do it (today I can go to that near sleep state in just a minute or two).
I do this one everyday: https://youtu.be/pL02HRFk2vo
Of course, it gets better the more you do it (today I can go to that near sleep state in just a minute or two).
I do this one everyday: https://youtu.be/pL02HRFk2vo
> today I can go to that near sleep state in just a minute or two
This is wonderful. How many days did you take to come to this stage?
I was not aware of NSDR. I will look into it. BTW, has either of these practices reduced your overall sleep time per day?
This is wonderful. How many days did you take to come to this stage?
I was not aware of NSDR. I will look into it. BTW, has either of these practices reduced your overall sleep time per day?
I think it took me less than two weeks, two sessions per day. You first need to listen to it enough times so every step becomes fully familiar - this was, at least for me, pretty important because you don't have to think and anticipate what is coming next.
Sleep time didn't reduce, I still like to go for 8 hours of sleep whenever I can - but if I sleep less or get tired NSDR is a secure "fix".
One more important tip is to do one session just when you go to bed. Use it to fall asleep or to get sleepy. This way the sessions during the day get better.
Also, do it without headphones if possible, and with low enough volume just to hear instructions.
Sleep time didn't reduce, I still like to go for 8 hours of sleep whenever I can - but if I sleep less or get tired NSDR is a secure "fix".
One more important tip is to do one session just when you go to bed. Use it to fall asleep or to get sleepy. This way the sessions during the day get better.
Also, do it without headphones if possible, and with low enough volume just to hear instructions.
This is helpful. Thanks. I will try this today. BTW, Two weeks is quite good.
You need to quit something. Choose
What medications are you on?
I am not on any.
I have an appointment for July to meet a psychiatrist for ADHD.
I have an appointment for July to meet a psychiatrist for ADHD.
If your situation is as dire as your post makes it sound, I wouldn't personally wait until July.
Given that we've finally advanced into the era of more accessible tele-health thanks to COVID, you may not necessarily be restricted by geographic limitations in finding a psychopharmacologist to work with. Try searching for psychopharmacologists who offer "virtual" appointments or tele-health/tele-medicine services.
Get an appointment ASAP, like next week at the latest. Why wait?
Many medications require titrating up to a clinically effective dosage over the course of weeks, before you even get to find out if it'll have a positive therapeutic effect, then you may need to titrate down over weeks before you can start the next drug.
While psychopharmacology is a "science," because of our widely differing biologies, it's a science of trial-and-error.
Also, I know it's probably not something you want to hear, but it's not the end of the world if you have to spend another semester, or even another two or three semesters, to complete your degree.
Life is long, and this is just a transient speed bump. It may seem like a big deal RIGHT NOW, but 10 years from now, it'll just be another one of those things you had to overcome in life.
Try to relax. Focus on the things you can control, and try to not dwell on the things you can't. It too, shall pass.
Given that we've finally advanced into the era of more accessible tele-health thanks to COVID, you may not necessarily be restricted by geographic limitations in finding a psychopharmacologist to work with. Try searching for psychopharmacologists who offer "virtual" appointments or tele-health/tele-medicine services.
Get an appointment ASAP, like next week at the latest. Why wait?
Many medications require titrating up to a clinically effective dosage over the course of weeks, before you even get to find out if it'll have a positive therapeutic effect, then you may need to titrate down over weeks before you can start the next drug.
While psychopharmacology is a "science," because of our widely differing biologies, it's a science of trial-and-error.
Also, I know it's probably not something you want to hear, but it's not the end of the world if you have to spend another semester, or even another two or three semesters, to complete your degree.
Life is long, and this is just a transient speed bump. It may seem like a big deal RIGHT NOW, but 10 years from now, it'll just be another one of those things you had to overcome in life.
Try to relax. Focus on the things you can control, and try to not dwell on the things you can't. It too, shall pass.
I am in Denmark, getting an appointment with a professional of this kind usually involves a scheduling an appointment 10 months ahead. Instead I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in the country that my mother lives.
The problem is that my funding is drying hence why I had to take a job that has me working 30 hours per week.
I tried finding a FT job but it seems that smaller shops do not like me. A medium sized company told me that "they are afraid I will get bored and want to move on to something else". I have an interview with a FAANG company next week but I feel woefully underprepared for that.
The problem is that my funding is drying hence why I had to take a job that has me working 30 hours per week.
I tried finding a FT job but it seems that smaller shops do not like me. A medium sized company told me that "they are afraid I will get bored and want to move on to something else". I have an interview with a FAANG company next week but I feel woefully underprepared for that.
My friend, shoot me an email and I’d love to chat.
My present situation is not all that dissimilar to what you describe.
I have been in a MSc program for the past 2 years which has continually threatened to drain all the life-force out of me. I’d always been a happy-go-lucky, jubilant, highly social person, but I moved 1000mi away from my friends and family to accept what appeared to be a funded position which perfectly aligned with my interests. It took me maybe 6 months to realize that I’d fucked up. You might be able to relate to some of the reasons.
For the first time in my life, I was alone, all day, every day. I had zero energy. It took all the effort in the world to get out of bed before 5pm.. I was getting up at 6am to climb mountains every day only a few months before!! I would go weeks at a time without talking to another person, because they simply were nowhere to be found. ‘My’ department had, of course, moved almost entirely online, and they didn’t know I existed. I developed a horrible mental dialogue of constantly shaming myself for my lethargy. I didn’t let myself do my hobbies, since to my mind I hadn’t ‘earned’ them, since I wasn’t getting any work done. I waited it out for a bit, I thought that surely the department would come back to life, and I would finally be able to make human connections, and I would just revert to the old me. Of course, this didn’t work, because nobody wanted to come back: all the decision-makers were happier than ever sitting at home with their families all day. By the end of my first semester, the terrible dullness which has overtaken my person wasn’t going to just go away.
And yeah, I think having difficulty with executive function leads to really harmful positive feedback loops when you’re not doing well. As I continued to fail to get work done, and my mind became less and less healthy, my excitement and joy for the world and for my work was replaced by anxiety and despair. I stopped sleeping well, I stopped eating well, I stopped giving a shit. I spent damn near two years sitting in front of a computer, haranguing myself for not being better, my internal voice screaming at me that if I could just be a professional for this day, and get my fucking work done, then I’ll feel better. It doesn’t really work that way. I’ve also got ADHD, but I’d always done quite well in school etc. because I had good strategies for managing my mind—- I knew that if I surrounded myself with other people, then I’d always been energized enough to get my stuff done, even if it wasn’t at 100% efficiency. I didn’t mind, it worked very well for me— I’d occasionally hand something in late, but I earnestly didn’t give a shit because I loved the way my mind worked: I was always overflowing with energy and creativity etc., more so than my peers, so I figured I was doing something right, and embraced that part of my cognition. All that goes out the window when I moved across the country to start my MSc: all of a sudden, the joy of befriending new folks, of working in a high-energy environment with other folks who are passionate about their work, that stuff all disappeared. The people at my new department didn’t know me and they actively did not want to know me. I was just a threat to them: the casual interactions which had made me love life were eliminated. The only connection that I had to people at my new school were over email and over Zoom. I felt helpless, I knew exactly what was wrong in my life, but there was nothing I could do to fix it. I despaired. I felt like I was dying.
I wasted 1.5 yrs before I finally decided to reclaim some agency in my life. I earnestly weighed quitting. I didn’t need the degree, I went to grad school for ‘everything else’ and all those other things had been denied to me. I would make far more $ if I just went and got a software job. And most importantly, I realized that I owed my advisor nothing: I had wracked myself with guilt that I hadn’t been producing for him, even though he was paying me a stipend.. but I finally valued myself and realized that I needed to place value on what I get out of my early 20s. I plotted realistic escape routes: I could just quit, go home, recharge with my family, furnish up my GitHub etc. and go get a good job. Whoa! I realized I was excited! Excited about a possibility in my life for the first time in ages, rather than just passing time, waiting for someone to give me permission to be happy. This was insanely liberating. I finally had another option; I knew I would be okay if I quit. And so before this spring semester, I basically told my advisor that I’d quit if I couldn’t work remotely for this semester. I told him I had waited too long. I needed more from my life. I understand that they do not want to get COVID, I don’t either, but I need to value my health, too, and my mental health is a huge part of that. He acquiesced, and I worked up some extra scratch so that I could go spend time with friends, family, my girlfriend for the past 6 months. I’ve gotten 10x more done in this span than I did over that stupid year and a half where I was just in a room alone all day, every day. And most importantly, I’ve just got life in me again. I have thoughts and feelings and ideas and feel excitement about the future. I’ve got so many passion projects lined up for when I finish in about a month. My executive dysfunction is still pretty crappy, but it’s worlds better than it was, and I’m going to finish. Just barely— but I will. I’ve also got an ‘F’ incomplete class from a breakdown in a previous semester, which I am completing now while also finishing my thesis. It’s crazy and I am working like a madman, but my person is back and I take pride in my work again.
I’m not really who I want to be yet, and I am still just so ready to move on to the next stage of my life— preferably one with a little more support, and a whole lot more community— but my gears are spinning again. I’m sleeping 6hrs a night again, half of what I was at my worst, but I am so much less tired. My person is not as tired: I feel pretty free, I feel like I have agency, I feel like I’m driving my the car of my life. That was a really, really important place for me to get back to.
I’m not sure how well this all maps onto your experience, but I can see myself pretty clearly in how you describe your state: you feel like you’ve got nothing left. You need a perspective shift. You need to remind yourself what exists outside of this shitty local minima you’re lodged into.
I think my 2 takeaways are that 1) never trick yourself into thinking that any ‘opportunity’ is worth allowing yourself to get to where you’ve got nothing left, and that 2) you can get your person back. I’m not sure what it will take for you, but you should be confident that you can. There’s a lot of stuff that I did over this time that really helped me take control of my life and rebuild my mental state— I got really into playing basketball, making art, etc.— that I didn’t mention, but really, I think the point is to look to your past, identify the parts of your life that have energized you, and start doing those things again. You need some time away from work to get your person back. Remember that a week repairing your relationship with yourself followed by a week of living a more well-adjusted life, where you get a reasonable amount of things done, is much more efficient that two weeks of despair, deriding yourself for not being enough, draining yourself even further.
But anyway— shoot me an email, if you want. I’d be happy to chat and share a little bit more about my experience. I’m still not out of this yet— I’ve got a lot of shit to do before submitting my thesis in 3 weeks— but I did figure out how to recharge those batteries!
My present situation is not all that dissimilar to what you describe.
I have been in a MSc program for the past 2 years which has continually threatened to drain all the life-force out of me. I’d always been a happy-go-lucky, jubilant, highly social person, but I moved 1000mi away from my friends and family to accept what appeared to be a funded position which perfectly aligned with my interests. It took me maybe 6 months to realize that I’d fucked up. You might be able to relate to some of the reasons.
For the first time in my life, I was alone, all day, every day. I had zero energy. It took all the effort in the world to get out of bed before 5pm.. I was getting up at 6am to climb mountains every day only a few months before!! I would go weeks at a time without talking to another person, because they simply were nowhere to be found. ‘My’ department had, of course, moved almost entirely online, and they didn’t know I existed. I developed a horrible mental dialogue of constantly shaming myself for my lethargy. I didn’t let myself do my hobbies, since to my mind I hadn’t ‘earned’ them, since I wasn’t getting any work done. I waited it out for a bit, I thought that surely the department would come back to life, and I would finally be able to make human connections, and I would just revert to the old me. Of course, this didn’t work, because nobody wanted to come back: all the decision-makers were happier than ever sitting at home with their families all day. By the end of my first semester, the terrible dullness which has overtaken my person wasn’t going to just go away.
And yeah, I think having difficulty with executive function leads to really harmful positive feedback loops when you’re not doing well. As I continued to fail to get work done, and my mind became less and less healthy, my excitement and joy for the world and for my work was replaced by anxiety and despair. I stopped sleeping well, I stopped eating well, I stopped giving a shit. I spent damn near two years sitting in front of a computer, haranguing myself for not being better, my internal voice screaming at me that if I could just be a professional for this day, and get my fucking work done, then I’ll feel better. It doesn’t really work that way. I’ve also got ADHD, but I’d always done quite well in school etc. because I had good strategies for managing my mind—- I knew that if I surrounded myself with other people, then I’d always been energized enough to get my stuff done, even if it wasn’t at 100% efficiency. I didn’t mind, it worked very well for me— I’d occasionally hand something in late, but I earnestly didn’t give a shit because I loved the way my mind worked: I was always overflowing with energy and creativity etc., more so than my peers, so I figured I was doing something right, and embraced that part of my cognition. All that goes out the window when I moved across the country to start my MSc: all of a sudden, the joy of befriending new folks, of working in a high-energy environment with other folks who are passionate about their work, that stuff all disappeared. The people at my new department didn’t know me and they actively did not want to know me. I was just a threat to them: the casual interactions which had made me love life were eliminated. The only connection that I had to people at my new school were over email and over Zoom. I felt helpless, I knew exactly what was wrong in my life, but there was nothing I could do to fix it. I despaired. I felt like I was dying.
I wasted 1.5 yrs before I finally decided to reclaim some agency in my life. I earnestly weighed quitting. I didn’t need the degree, I went to grad school for ‘everything else’ and all those other things had been denied to me. I would make far more $ if I just went and got a software job. And most importantly, I realized that I owed my advisor nothing: I had wracked myself with guilt that I hadn’t been producing for him, even though he was paying me a stipend.. but I finally valued myself and realized that I needed to place value on what I get out of my early 20s. I plotted realistic escape routes: I could just quit, go home, recharge with my family, furnish up my GitHub etc. and go get a good job. Whoa! I realized I was excited! Excited about a possibility in my life for the first time in ages, rather than just passing time, waiting for someone to give me permission to be happy. This was insanely liberating. I finally had another option; I knew I would be okay if I quit. And so before this spring semester, I basically told my advisor that I’d quit if I couldn’t work remotely for this semester. I told him I had waited too long. I needed more from my life. I understand that they do not want to get COVID, I don’t either, but I need to value my health, too, and my mental health is a huge part of that. He acquiesced, and I worked up some extra scratch so that I could go spend time with friends, family, my girlfriend for the past 6 months. I’ve gotten 10x more done in this span than I did over that stupid year and a half where I was just in a room alone all day, every day. And most importantly, I’ve just got life in me again. I have thoughts and feelings and ideas and feel excitement about the future. I’ve got so many passion projects lined up for when I finish in about a month. My executive dysfunction is still pretty crappy, but it’s worlds better than it was, and I’m going to finish. Just barely— but I will. I’ve also got an ‘F’ incomplete class from a breakdown in a previous semester, which I am completing now while also finishing my thesis. It’s crazy and I am working like a madman, but my person is back and I take pride in my work again.
I’m not really who I want to be yet, and I am still just so ready to move on to the next stage of my life— preferably one with a little more support, and a whole lot more community— but my gears are spinning again. I’m sleeping 6hrs a night again, half of what I was at my worst, but I am so much less tired. My person is not as tired: I feel pretty free, I feel like I have agency, I feel like I’m driving my the car of my life. That was a really, really important place for me to get back to.
I’m not sure how well this all maps onto your experience, but I can see myself pretty clearly in how you describe your state: you feel like you’ve got nothing left. You need a perspective shift. You need to remind yourself what exists outside of this shitty local minima you’re lodged into.
I think my 2 takeaways are that 1) never trick yourself into thinking that any ‘opportunity’ is worth allowing yourself to get to where you’ve got nothing left, and that 2) you can get your person back. I’m not sure what it will take for you, but you should be confident that you can. There’s a lot of stuff that I did over this time that really helped me take control of my life and rebuild my mental state— I got really into playing basketball, making art, etc.— that I didn’t mention, but really, I think the point is to look to your past, identify the parts of your life that have energized you, and start doing those things again. You need some time away from work to get your person back. Remember that a week repairing your relationship with yourself followed by a week of living a more well-adjusted life, where you get a reasonable amount of things done, is much more efficient that two weeks of despair, deriding yourself for not being enough, draining yourself even further.
But anyway— shoot me an email, if you want. I’d be happy to chat and share a little bit more about my experience. I’m still not out of this yet— I’ve got a lot of shit to do before submitting my thesis in 3 weeks— but I did figure out how to recharge those batteries!
I may fail my master's because I can't replace a course and I don't believe that I will be able to pass it. It seems that there is a mental barrier preventing things from "clicking".
I am tired. I can't seem to be able to catch a break or rest. Besides my master's I have a job that's 30 hours per week because I don't have any other form of economic support.
I can't seem to be able to recharge my batteries. Nothing seems to work.
I wake up tired. I have trouble with executive dysfunction. My brain feels saturated, as if there is no more space to store new information.
I have reached a point of total burnout. My gears are grinding instead of spinning and I have no strength to keep going.