Why don't you just win? Is there really any other option than winning? No. There isn't. Once you understand— and know— this then you won't be sad anymore.
♥ Wow. I am also a text-based being. I remember that feeling well as well. I realized I forgot it though through you making me experience it again now.
Maybe it's a symptom and not the actual underlying cause. You went through all the trouble to put into writing your need for structure so it's off the table that your problem is that "you aren't trying to implement structure in your life."
I'd be happy to help you win!